The Cathedral Thief
Of Confrontations, Hesitations and Awkward Silences
“Is there anything wrong, Sophie?”
Hearing his voice took me by surprise. I had been so accustomed to ignoring him or hiding whenever I saw him that I had unconsciously come to the conclusion that Damien would do the same when he would come face to face with me. He didn’t.
“Is there anything wrong?” he repeated.
We had come across each other in the stairs – I was going down and he was going up – and there was no way to hide or avoid the encounter. It reminded me of the first time that I had seen Damien. Except that then, I didn’t know that he was a thief. Then I just thought that he was an innocent and charming young man.
“Why would there be anything wrong?” I replied in a small voice, looking at my shoes.
“I never seem to see you around anymore,” Damien replied simply.
“Well, I work now,” I said, a little embarrassed.
“But not all the time, right? There are still plenty of places in Paris that I would love to show you. Maybe we could plan something when you have some time off…”
I could not really find an appropriate answer for that, so I said nothing. What could I say anyway? Sure, there was a part of me that wanted to say yes, because those moments I had spent exploring Paris with Damien were some of the happiest of my life. But there was an even bigger part of me that could not bring myself to that. Because happy memories or not, Damien had also brought a lot of darkness in my life. There were people after him, trying to prove that he was nothing more than a thief, and I had been ready to defend him at all costs. But I couldn’t really deny what I had seen, could I? All these things that inspector Vernoux had accused Damien to be, they had turned out to be true. And I had never been more scared than during these times when the police was investigating him, asking me questions to get to him, following me to know what Damien was up to. And Damien knew that. He knew that Vernoux terrified me, he knew that the whole situation made me feel vulnerable and scared. He could have done something, but he just brushed it off as if it were a simple misunderstanding. That was perhaps what had hurt the most. The fact that Damien had lied to me, that he had refused to acknowledge that I had reasons to be scared by what was happening. And as much as I missed my friend, as much as I loved Damien – and I really loved him – I was too scared to go back. After I had stopped seeing Damien, the inspector had not crossed my path anymore. And I wanted things to stay that way.
So even though I should have answered something, even just to be polite, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Because Damien still looked so much like the person I had come to appreciate that I was afraid, I think, to say something that I did not want to say.
“Have I done something wrong, Sophie?” Damien asked after what seemed to me to have been a very long and awkward silence. “You don’t seem…” he hesitated. “I know that you don’t have that much time with your work and all, but if there is anything that I might have done that has upset you, I assure you that it wasn’t intentional.”
I took a sharp breath. I had to say something if I wanted to get out of there. “There is nothing wrong, Damien,” I lied as I forced a smile to my face. “I’m just too busy with work. I mean, I would love to go exploring with you some time, but I just don’t have the time for the moment. We’ll talk about it later, right?”
I made a move to get down the stairs, and Damien moved to the side to let me pass.
“Right, I’ll see you around then Sophie,” he said.
I hurried down the stairs without answering, my cheeks burning.
Hearing his voice took me by surprise. I had been so accustomed to ignoring him or hiding whenever I saw him that I had unconsciously come to the conclusion that Damien would do the same when he would come face to face with me. He didn’t.
“Is there anything wrong?” he repeated.
We had come across each other in the stairs – I was going down and he was going up – and there was no way to hide or avoid the encounter. It reminded me of the first time that I had seen Damien. Except that then, I didn’t know that he was a thief. Then I just thought that he was an innocent and charming young man.
“Why would there be anything wrong?” I replied in a small voice, looking at my shoes.
“I never seem to see you around anymore,” Damien replied simply.
“Well, I work now,” I said, a little embarrassed.
“But not all the time, right? There are still plenty of places in Paris that I would love to show you. Maybe we could plan something when you have some time off…”
I could not really find an appropriate answer for that, so I said nothing. What could I say anyway? Sure, there was a part of me that wanted to say yes, because those moments I had spent exploring Paris with Damien were some of the happiest of my life. But there was an even bigger part of me that could not bring myself to that. Because happy memories or not, Damien had also brought a lot of darkness in my life. There were people after him, trying to prove that he was nothing more than a thief, and I had been ready to defend him at all costs. But I couldn’t really deny what I had seen, could I? All these things that inspector Vernoux had accused Damien to be, they had turned out to be true. And I had never been more scared than during these times when the police was investigating him, asking me questions to get to him, following me to know what Damien was up to. And Damien knew that. He knew that Vernoux terrified me, he knew that the whole situation made me feel vulnerable and scared. He could have done something, but he just brushed it off as if it were a simple misunderstanding. That was perhaps what had hurt the most. The fact that Damien had lied to me, that he had refused to acknowledge that I had reasons to be scared by what was happening. And as much as I missed my friend, as much as I loved Damien – and I really loved him – I was too scared to go back. After I had stopped seeing Damien, the inspector had not crossed my path anymore. And I wanted things to stay that way.
So even though I should have answered something, even just to be polite, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Because Damien still looked so much like the person I had come to appreciate that I was afraid, I think, to say something that I did not want to say.
“Have I done something wrong, Sophie?” Damien asked after what seemed to me to have been a very long and awkward silence. “You don’t seem…” he hesitated. “I know that you don’t have that much time with your work and all, but if there is anything that I might have done that has upset you, I assure you that it wasn’t intentional.”
I took a sharp breath. I had to say something if I wanted to get out of there. “There is nothing wrong, Damien,” I lied as I forced a smile to my face. “I’m just too busy with work. I mean, I would love to go exploring with you some time, but I just don’t have the time for the moment. We’ll talk about it later, right?”
I made a move to get down the stairs, and Damien moved to the side to let me pass.
“Right, I’ll see you around then Sophie,” he said.
I hurried down the stairs without answering, my cheeks burning.
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