‹ Prequel: Insane Love
Status: Updated! New chapter is half-written and will be up in a few weeks (Apr-May 2016)

Don't Fall Back

The Dreadful

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ―Steve Maraboli

Colton towel dried his hair in front of the bathroom mirror. He believed a steamy shower was one of the many things he needed at that point in his life. It had been days since Lana shut the door in his face, which meant the season home opener was just 48 hours away. That gave him 16 hours of sleep for the next two nights if all went according to plan.

The house was a mess. Broken glass pieces were lying around in the kitchen, whiskey was spilled on the living room rug, the bed sheets were scattered around the floor, his clothes hadn't been washed, and barely any food was left in the fridge and cupboards since she left a week and a half ago. He sat himself down on the couch and flipped the TV on. Daytime television wasn't his thing. The soap operas reminded him too much of her, like the off-duty days where she'd watch her favourite General Hospital for an hour. TSN was showing Basketball highlights, which he really was not interested in. He sighed and glanced out the long window, staring at the backyard.

Colton scrolled through his contacts list, and debated whether he should call Tyler or not. He just didn't know what to talk about anymore. Bozie and Kess had promised him that they're not against him, that Clarky and Frazer were also on his side and wanted him to be happy. He understood that they were all trying to cheer him up by inviting him along to bars and hangouts, but he still refused.

Nonetheless, he pressed on Tyler's name and put the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey," Colton replied, rubbing his forehead.

"What's up, man? How are you?" he asked, surprised to hear him on the line.

"I'm fine. Are you and Kess busy?"

"No, we're just chilling at home. You should come." he answered.

Colton sighed silently and looked up at the messy area. He needed to get out of there. "Yeah, sure,"

"Sweet. We'll be here, alright?"

"Okay, see you soon." he responded.

"Bye."

Colton grabbed his keys and then walked out the door. Colton eventually pulled into the apartment's parking lot and went inside to the lobby. He clicked on Phil's name and waited till he was buzzed in. Colton took the elevator to their floor and rang the doorbell. Tyler opened it and let him in.

"Hey man," Phil smiled from the couch.

Colton playfully scratched Stella's ear and took a seat. "Thanks for letting me come over."

"Of course." he shrugged. "You didn't even have to call."

Tyler plopped himself down with his feet up on the table and tossed an Xbox controller to his friend. "COD time."

"Ah, fuck." Kess sighed.

"Scared of losing?" Bozie smirked.

"No, I just know you'll get cocky as usual."

He laughed. "Not cocky, just confident."

Colton spent the next two hours actually enjoying himself. He had fun. They were drinking iced tea, playing video games, and chirping each other. It all felt like a normal Thursday late afternoon that he was spending with his teammates. But every once in a while between the silenced moments, he thought about her, and it ruined him. His moods were scaling up and down. He didn't know what to think or how to feel as much as he tried to ignore it.

"Fackin' right!" Phil exclaimed, with his hands in the air and a mocking tone towards his opponents.

"One goal." Colton cracked, and threw another Lays chip in his mouth.

The animated Bozak took the faceoff, and the shift began. It was he and Colton, the Rangers, and Kess with his Leafs. Only because they lost the coin flip bet on who gets what team.

Bozie dangled past Dion Phaneuf and took a shot at the next Reims was defending, but hit the post. "Shit! So close."

Tyler's phone vibrated and he picked it up. "Hello?" He paused and glanced at Colton. "Um, yeah...here...I just. But.. he..ok, bye. Love you."

He looked over at him. He already knew who it was. "Lana?"

"Yeah." Tyler nodded and turned his attention over to the screen.

Phil uncomfortably drank out of his can. It got quiet with only the commentators announcing the plays, until Colton spoke again. "It's fine, you know."

"Mhm," he replied. "Dude I did this T25 workout the other day, you guys need to do it. It's fucking aweso--"

"Bozie. You don't need to change the subject. It's cool." he shrugged, hoping to seem calm and in control. Although he wasn't. He was still dying to contact Mia, and dying to get Lana to let him do it. "Okay, third period is do or die."

*

Mia's apartment was the perfect size. It was finally organized, with new furniture in the living room and a queen sized bed in her bedroom. The cupboards were full and the shelves were topped with decorations. The 30 year old daughter of the apartment owner had actually become her only friend. They met as she was moving in on the same floor, when Janet noticed and offered to help her out.

She had strawberry blonde hair down to her shoulders with cut bangs, hazel eyes and a lightly freckled face. She lived in Carolina for 15 years, and worked as an accountant. She was raising her 8 month old daughter, Ivy, after her boyfriend of 5 years left her. And that was all Mia knew up to the moment they were sitting on two lawn chairs on the balcony of Janet's apartment.

"Did you meet his parents?" Janet asked, after blowing out smoke from her lungs and watching it fade away.

"Yeah," Mia said, looking at the much shorter buildings around them. "First time I met them was when I invited them over for my birthday. Then they invited us for a Canada Day dinner in Winnipeg."

"Did his mother like you?" she glanced at her to her left.

"A lot," she replied, before sipping the black coffee. Lisa had been so kind. She was the mother-in-law anyone would dream to have.

She took a drag from the cigarette again. "He really screwed things up for y'all."

Mia laughed halfheartedly. "I gave him everything in me. Guess it wasn't enough."

"Was he wealthy?" She asked.

"Well, he's a pro athlete, for the team I said I was the doctor for?"

"Ohhh," she nodded knowingly. "Now I get it. That's how you two met."

"Yup," she replied and drank more of her coffee.

"Are you going to try dating again soon?"

"I don't think so." Mia shook her head lightly. "We were in a serious relationship. It's pretty tough to get over."

"We're very different. When Sean broke up with me, I fucked a guy the next night." she shrugged. "You could call it selfish to use people to help you move on, but, I think it's pretty smart."

Mia made eye-contact with her and then drank the coffee. She brought her knees up to her chest and just held the cup with her two hands. "What happened between you two?"

She finished her second cigarette, put it out against the metal bars, and flicked it over the balcony. "When he found out I was pregnant he wanted nothin' to do with it, or me. So he found some younger broad and drove off."

And that was the last question Mia asked. They went back inside. When Janet went to use the restroom, she asked Mia to check up on Ivy. She slowly opened the door to the small bedroom, and went near the baby crib. She was sound asleep, with her arms above her head, resting on the blanket, and her belly rising up and lowering down every time she breathed.

Mia crossed her arms over her chest. Ivy began to turn her head to the side and her arms twitched carefully. Soft yawns came out of the toddler's mouth, before it turned into a cry. Mia quickly picked her up, with the baby's head resting by her shoulder. She rubbed her back in a soothing motion, and took gentle steps around the dimmed room with closed curtains.

"Shhh.." she whispered calmly. Ivy continued to cry, but less and less after feeling comfort in her arms.

Mia listened as the crying faded away, and the baby's arms were growing tired. She was falling asleep. Mia gently placed her back in the crib, feeling a hint of pride. She always wanted a baby. With a quiet sigh, she carefully stepped out of the room. She found Janet sitting in front of the TV with her leg crossed over the other.

"Did she fall back asleep?" she questioned, with her eyes on the soap opera.

"Um, yeah," she answered, wondering with the mother hadn't gone to see her baby after getting out of the bathroom.

"Wanna go somewhere today?" Janet asked.

"Like?"

"A bar?"

"I'm not really...familiar with this city..like that." She answered. In Toronto, the only times she went drinking was with her closest friends, or the boys from the team. Going to a bar on a Friday in a city which she'd only been in for a week didn't seem so refreshing.

"I've been here for a few years," she laughed. "Don't worry. It'll just be the two of us, I promise."

"What about Ivy?"

"I'll leave her with my brother's wife on our way there. They have a house not too far away." she assured.

She stood there uncomfortably. "Okay.."

"Great!" she clapped. "We'll have so much fun tonight. Wear something sexy."

For the next few hours, Mia found herself lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling. She wasn't tired or trying to fall asleep, she was just thinking. Something told her that Janet was not the type to control her alcohol. For the couple of days she'd known her, she smoked almost two full packs of cigarettes and drank ten beers. With a baby in the house.

Mia's thoughts were interrupted when Kabby jumped on her bed and sniffed her fingers. She petted his gray ears and pulled him in for a kiss. She picked him up and walked to her closet, planning what to wear for the evening. She grabbed a V-neck shirt and a pair of blue jeans and threw them on the bed. She decided that the outfit would be casual (but with enough cleavage showing to make it a bit wild), finished with her favourite pair of black open toed heels.

That whole idea was taken apart when Janet showed up at her door and shook her head. She invited herself in.

Mia followed. "You know, for a thirty year old mother who smokes, you look incredibly fine in a tight blue dress."

She smirked at her before going through her closet, looking at the clothes she brought with her from Toronto. She picked out a black skirt and a bright pink lace top.

"There," she said. "Now you're ready."

On the bottom basement floor of the apartment was the indoor parking lot. They decided to go with one car only, because Janet promised they'd be leaving together. After she dropped Ivy off, they headed to the bar.

Janet confidently walked in as Mia followed behind with her arms crossed. It was too cold in October for her to be showing so much skin. And the temperature in the bar didn't help. There were lots of people there. Not too many that you wouldn't be able to hear yourself, but enough so that you'd have a hard time finding a spot to sit.

Mia went for the bar stools and sat down on one of them. Janet joined her as they asked the bartender for drinks.

"Long island iced tea for me, Joe." she requested.

"Comin' right up. And what can I get for you my dear?" the nice man asked.

"Um, I'll have a lemon drop." Mia replied.

As they waited for the drinks to be prepared, Janet scanned the bar with her eyes. "The men come out to play."

"I thought it was going to be just you and me." Mia scrunched her eyebrows.

"Of course," she put her hand on her leg momentarily. "That guy over there is looking at you, though."

Mia locked eyes with him. "He looks like a teenager who got in with a fake ID."

"Oh come on, you need to have some fun tonight." Janet said after they got their drinks. "The first step to moving on is embracing the single life."

Mia sighed and sipped her drink. The rim of the glass was covered with sugar. That was always her favourite part. As the night progressed, surely enough, Janet was facing the other way talking to some man with no good intentions. She overheard his "mhm" and "I agree" even though she fully knew he wasn't actually listening to what Janet was saying. Eye-contact and trying to prove you care. Must be in the how-to-pick-up-a-chick book, she thought.

After looking around at all the girls giving men fake laughs and touching their thighs, she gave up. Mia faced towards the bartender and put her arms on the counter. She wasn't in the mood for any of this. She wondered why she even agreed to coming.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself," Someone's low, sarcastic voice made her glance to the side.

A man had taken the seat beside her. He was wearing a black suit jacket over a white buttoned up dress shirt. His hair was a messy spiked brown, and his eyes were chocolate like hers as well. He had a freshly shaved face and a confident look on him.

"My buddy Captain Morgan tonight," he told the bartender, and looked at her empty glass. "And another one of what this lady was having."

Before Mia could refuse, Joe already went the other way to pour the drinks. She sighed and nodded at him, "Thanks."

"Not the enthusiasm I usually get." He responded, with a shoulder shrug and an eyebrow raise.

"Nice way to try and pick up a girl by mentioning how you do this often." She shot back blankly.

He chuckled and faced down at the counter. "You're a wild one."

"Sorry I'm not easy like the rest of these girls with low self-esteem." She squinted her eyes.

"Your outfit says otherwise." He smirked.

"Fuck off." She faced forward and took a sip of her drink.

He gave her that same chuckle that she somehow found attractive. "What's bothering you, babe?"

That last word made her body completely reject the fluids that were entering her. She felt sick for a moment. Just hearing that word reminded her too much of him, and all the times he'd put his hands on her waist, or kiss her neck slowly, or let her put her head on his chest and feel his heartb---

"You there?" the man interrupted her. He had a confused look on his face.

"Y-Yeah," she cleared her throat.

"You know how I forget about things that make me upset?" He said with the glass in his left hand. "Just kidding. Nothing makes me upset."

She rolled her eyes, disgusted. "I'm sure under all that expensive clothing and hair gel, you're just as miserable as everyone else on lonely nights."

With that, she readjusted the black purse on her shoulder and got up. She looked around the bar for Janet, and only saw the heads of drunk people. She opened the door and finally breathed in the fresh air. Although, it was freezing; even more than when they had arrived. Curiously, she looked in the parking lot and noticed that the car was no longer where they'd parked.

"You gotta be kidding me.." Mia shook her head helplessly. She pulled her phone out and clicked on Janet's name. It rang many times before she picked up.

"Hellooooo?" she answered, followed by a giggle.

"Janet! Where are you!?" She asked furiously.

"I'm here with the bae. Jimmy! Come say hi," there was a noise in the background before a man said, "Hi there!"

"Janet. Where. Is. The car."

"Well, James drove me to his place. And his car is at the mechanics or somethin', so, he used mine." She replied drunkingly.

"How the hell am I gonna get home?" Mia rubbed her forehead.

"Call a cab," she said. "Call me a taxi, call me a cab...call me a fool if I ever come back...call me courageous, call me smart. I'm leaving fast to mend a broken heeaaart, I'm leaving fast to mend a---"

Mia angrily hung up when she and the stranger began singing. She sighed and sat down on the concrete step by the door. She rubbed her cold arms trying to stay warm. Just as she was about to call a cab, a voice behind her made her jump up.

"Great friends, huh?" He was leaning against the wall. The yellow light above him made his smirk glow.

"Go away," she rolled her eyes.

"Let me take you home," he said.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she laughed while looking down at her iPhone.

"I would, a lot actually," he didn't deny it. "But something tells me you're not sleeping with me tonight."

"That something is right." she uttered.

"You can choose to pay for a taxi, or just accept the gentleman's offer." he put his hands out to the side.

She thought about it for a moment. "You're far from a gentleman," she squinted her eyes and locked her phone.

"I'll take that as a yes," he smirked at her and began walking towards the parking lot.

She followed behind him, annoyed at the sound of her own high heels. When she saw his car, she paused and her mouth opened. "What are you, the president?"

He chuckled and unlocked his black bugatti with the press of a button. "I knew you were Canadian."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she crossed her arms.

"Get in, Tim Horton." he said, taking a seat in front of the steering wheel.

She put on her seatbelt in the passenger seat and watched him start the car. She felt very uneasy about letting a stranger drive her. Never in her life had she let someone she barely knew do such a thing. He pulled out of the parking lot, and drove down the road after she gave him the address.

"But really, not that I care, but what do you do?" She asked.

He didn't reply for a few seconds. "Let's just say...I make movies."

Mia became quiet for a moment. Movies. Her initial thought was some Tom Cruise movie or something. In fact, he did kind of look like Tom Cruise. But much taller and his face was more of a square. So, she scratched Tom Cruise off her mind. Then she dug a little deeper until it suddenly hit her and she jerked her head to the side.

He nodded slowly. "Now you get it."

She bit her bottom lip. "What kind of a self-proclaimed gentleman pays girls to get naked and spread STD's to some sick pervert?"

"That's not how it goes, sweetheart," he tapped the steering wheel. "You see, they pay me. Every once in a while, my people and I pay for a porn star, because, well, they're not that easy to call for. But the rest of them would kill for the spotlight. Who doesn't want to be known as sexy and bold?"

She laughed sarcastically. "There are millions of other ways to be sexy and bold."

"Like?"

"Like.. believing in yourself! Being smart, and educated. Actually treating your body with respect and setting goals for yourself!" she responded as he made a turn.

He chuckled. "Don't get me wrong. Women that do that are great. But that's not the type that make money."

"I graduated from University and was a doctor for a professional sports team." she argued. "My paycheck was perfectly fine, thank you very much."

"My stars make that in a day, sweetheart." he winked.

She scoffed. Mia was disgusted at how someone could be such a douchebag. She was more than thankful when the car pulled up to her apartment's lot. She undid her seatbelt.

"I expect to be hearing from you again." he had a confident smirk on his face.

"You wish." she furrowed her eyebrows as she stepped out.

'I'm Luke, by the way," he said, eyeing her carefully.

"Thanks for the ride, Luke." she closed the car door before he could respond.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry for the wait guys. These last few months have been eventful to say the least. I appreciate your patience and I am thankful you stick along for updates. Take care. Till next time, lovelies.

PS: Fire Carlyle.