Against the Odds

A/N: I’m so sorry for the long wait! I had a very busy June and beginning of July but everything has finally settled enough for me to write a new chapter :) I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think!

*********************

“You know,” Alex murmured, watching the countryside go by outside of the windows of the Range Rover, the beautiful fall colors looking warm and vibrant in the late afternoon light. “Two weeks ago, I was afraid I wouldn’t want to leave my parent’s house to go to Highgrove.”

“And now?” Harry asked, glancing over at her from the driver’s seat before turning back to the road in front of them.

“And now...I’m very much looking forward to it,” she turned a soft smile to him. “It’s got it’s own special brand of coziness. Even in the fall.”

“Are all the flowers going to be dead because it’s getting cold outside?” Emma called from the backseat where Gus was curled up next to her, happily asleep.

“Most of them,” Harry called back. “But I think Papa has some that last until snow falls.”

“Cool,” Emma sang out. “I can’t wait to see all of Papa Charles’ pretty flowers. And my treehouse! And to look at all of Granny Camilla’s books!”

Harry chuckled. “Well, you don’t have much longer to wait, Emma Rose,” he informed her as he began to slow the car down. “We’re here.”

Alex had truly always loved Highgrove; from the very first time Harry had brought her there. It was true that it was splendid in the spring and the summer, with the gardens in bloom. But there was something about the crisp country air and all of the amazing fall colors that began to cover the gardens that made it feel incredibly cozy and comfortable.

Charles and Camilla were waiting when Harry pulled the car up the circular drive and stopped in front of the house. They were quick to offer hugs and kiss cheeks in greeting and then they were ushering Harry, Alex, and Emma inside; leaving their bags to be unloaded, brought up to their rooms, and unpacked by the staff.

It’s true that the atmosphere at Highgrove was very different from the one they had just left at her parents house. It was more formal; meals were always served at a specific time and evenings were spent in the library reading or engaging in conversation, not gathered around the TV in their pajamas with bowls of popcorn while they watched a movie. It made her giggle to even think of putting on her pajamas before bedtime at Highgrove; that’s just not how they did things there.

But those things didn’t make her love it any less; they were really all part of the charm she loved so much about the big home in the country. And best of all, Charles and Camilla were there and she just adored them both. They were supporting and kind and warm...and they were her family.

And she was very much looking forward to the two weeks they were going to spend with them at Highgrove.

**********

It was after a few days at Highgrove that a decision came about that gave Alex a bit of a setback, as much as she didn’t want it to.

Emma had missed two weeks of school, and although she’d kept up with her school work, courtesy of her amazing teacher who had made arrangements to send everything over by email, she was getting a bit stir crazy with all of her time spent around adults.

She wanted to go back to school during the week.

The anxiety hit Alex hard and fast when Harry ran Emma’s wishes past her that Saturday afternoon in the privacy of their bedroom. She didn’t even know she’d started shaking until Harry’s arms were around her and he was pulling her to the bed and making her lie down.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know Emma would be safe. She did. But it didn’t stop her from worrying. And it didn’t stop her from feeling like her warm, safe bubble was being burst by real life - a real life that she couldn’t control.

It had taken hours for her to calm down; for the tears to stop. But Harry sat with her through it all. She was astounded and touched by his patience and his strength...and by the way he didn’t give in to Alex’s pleas for him to agree with her that Emma shouldn’t go back yet.

Because in the end Alex knew that she couldn’t do that to Emma. She couldn’t keep her hidden away. It was going to hurt; but she had to let Emma go back to school.

So Sunday they had packed Emma up and handed her over to Molly, who drove up from London to spend a bit of time with them before taking Emma back with her for the school week. Emma would stay with Molly for a few nights and with Matt and Charlotte for the next couple and then Matt would drive her back out to Highgrove on Friday.

The daily morning phone calls to Emma and the nightly Skype sessions helped ease the ache that had filled Alex when Emma had driven away with Molly. And by the middle of the week, her sadness had eased and she simply missed her daughter as opposed to being terrified that something would happen and she wouldn’t be there.

And then she was back on Friday night, just as they had planned, excited for a weekend full of fun with her parents and Charles and Camilla.

Beginning with a much anticipated riding lesson with Zara at Gatcombe Park on Saturday morning.

***********

“She really is a natural on a horse.”

Alex jumped a bit, startled by the unexpected presence moving in next to her. She turned her gaze from Emma’s riding lesson with Zara and towards the soft voice that had spoken and was pleasantly surprised to find Harry’s Aunt Anne looking back at her.

“Good morning. And yes...It sure seems like it sometimes,” Alex agreed. She turned to Anne and kissed her cheeks in greeting before both of them turned back to the lesson going on. They both leaned to rest their arms on the white fence that surrounded the paddock. “I didn’t know you were here this weekend,” Alex remarked casually.

Anne shrugged. “I like to come out and watch Zara teach Emma.”

Alex smiled softly. “Me too. She loves it...Emma, I mean. She loves riding and Zara is an amazing teacher.”

“Of course she is,” Anne nodded.

Alex couldn’t help but chuckle at the smug, proud way that Anne said the words. “I suppose it’s because you taught her?”

“You’d suppose right,” Anne replied, making Alex laugh before they both turned their focus back to Emma and Zara.

“Harry sent you out here, didn’t he? Because we’ve had somewhat similar experiences with...well...psychopaths,” Alex asked softly, breaking several minutes of companionable silence that had fallen between them as they watched. She turned towards Anne, her eyebrows lifted as she waited for an answer.

“I’ve always been terribly transparent,” Anne chuckled in response. “He did. Well, he asked me if I would talk to you.”

“It’s fine,” Alex murmured, her eyes following Emma around the paddock ring. “He’s worried about me.”

“Should he be?”

Alex sighed and turned her gaze back to the older woman next to her. “Yes and no I suppose. It’s been a month and though I have my days...I’m getting better. But we’ve been gone from London all that time and I…” She sucked in a breath and blinked back the emotion that rushed forward. “The thought of going back to London makes me want to run as far away as I can.”

“You aren’t planning to live back at the cottage are you?” Anne asked.

“No,” Alex smiled and shook her head. “It’s not that though. It’s just...when we go back to London I have to...I don’t know…” She trailed off, trying to form her thoughts into the right words. “Going to London means being in public. It means...going back to my public life. And it also means dealing with all the damn speculation about what happened.”

“I can understand that. You feel like people should just let it be private,” Anne nodded thoughtfully. “Though, in reality you know that it won’t go away. No matter how much you do or don’t talk about it. It’ll still be brought up for years...decades…”

Alex sniffed at the emotions that bubbled at the surface. “See, the rational part of me knows that. But the emotional part of me…” She shook her head and shrugged. “Not so much.”

“You know, we all have to find our own way to deal with things,” Anne mused after a long moment, watching carefully as Alex’s curious gaze swung back to hers. “When that man tried to take me...well, the truth of it is that I was more frightened that I’ve ever been in my life. You know the story, I refused to go, of course. But the truth is that if would have been just me, he could have done it. But it wasn’t just me and in the end people got hurt to save me. That bothered me for a long time. They were in harm’s way because of who I am.”

“But you’ve always seemed so...unaffected by it,” Alex said, her eyes wide with surprise. “All the jokes about how you told him ‘not bloody likely.’ And the quotes with Philip saying that the kidnapper would have had a hell of a time with you if he had succeeded…”

“Like I said,” Anne smile ruefully. “We all find our own ways to deal with things.”

Alex took a deep breath as the meaning of Anne’s words moved over her. “Yes,” she nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “I suppose we do.”

Anne reached over and patted Alex’s hand and then her gaze swung out to the paddock for a moment before coming back. “You have something I didn’t have though.”

“I’m sorry?” Alex blinked.

“You got a shot off on the bastard,” Anne smirked. “I’ll bet that helps just a bit.”

Alex burst out laughing, bringing a warm chuckle from Anne as well. “Well, at first it didn’t,” she admitted, before her own lips curled up into a smile. “But I got over that fairly quickly.”

**********

“Alex?!”

She jumped at the sound of her name, having been lost in thought as she sat by herself out in the treehouse at Highgrove. She laughed at herself and the shook her head before calling back, “I’m up here!” She heard her husband chuckle softly and mumble something and then within a few moments, she heard him climbing the small ladder that would lead up to her.

“Hi,” he grinned as he appeared in the doorway, his tall broad frame filling it up and blocking whatever sun had been streaming through it.

“Hi,” she grinned back, looking up at him from her spot on the floor near the window. He chuckled, moved over to kiss her, and then slid in next to her on the floor.

“Does Emma know you’re in her treehouse?” he teased, nudging her shoulder with his.

“No,” she smirked. “Are you going to tell on me?”

“No,” he laughed with a shake of his head. “Though I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“Probably not,” Alex smiled. She leaned into him and he immediately accommodated her, lifting his arm and wrapping it around her shoulders and pulling her closer. “It’s so quiet out here right now - with the weather turning cold. I thought it might be a good place to do a little thinking.”

He turned to kiss the side of her head and then tucked her a bit closer. “What were you thinking about?”

She took a deep breath. “Going back to London.”

“Ah love,” he sighed. “We don’t have to go back until you’re ready. You know that.”

“I do know that,” she nodded. “But...I think I’m ready.”

He turned his eyes down to her just as she turned hers up to his. “Baby...are you sure?”

“No,” she murmured, nervousness flashing in her big blue eyes. “But I don’t think I’ll ever be one hundred percent sure. All I can do is put on my big girl panties and try, no matter how scary it is.”

Harry couldn’t help the way his lips twitched up at the corners. “Big girl panties?”

“Fine,” Alex groaned, rolling her eyes. “Big girl knickers.”

“I mean, you are a member of the British Royal Family now,” he snickered. “You could at least try to learn the lingo of your country.”

“Shut up,” she muttered. She elbowed him lightly in his side, but her narrow eyed gaze quickly fell away in a smile. “So, what do you think?”

“About your knickers?”

“Harry!”

“Ha! I’m sorry, love,” he chuckled as he leaned in to kiss her softly. “I think…” he said, pulling back to look at her. “I think I want to do whatever you want to do.”

“That easy?”

“Well, I’m easy,” he said, unable to help the way his lips twitched up when he said it.

“You’re mind is in the gutter today, Sussex,” she laughed, rolling her eyes at him.

“Sorry,” he chuckled again. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

“Well, at least until later,” she teased, giggled at the smirk that tilted his lips.

“Anyway,” she drawled, pulling them back to serious. “It would be nice to be with Emma during the week while she’s in school and I’d really like to try getting back into a routine again.”

Harry’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You want to go back to work?”

“Not totally,” she shook her head. “At least, not the public stuff yet. But...part of what I was doing out here was thinking about a new project idea I had.”

He leaned back to look at her, genuine interest flashing across his face. “Yeah? What kind of project?”

She took a deep breath and pulled back so that she could turn and face him. “I’ve been thinking about meeting with Susannah to discuss opening a new branch of HFTF...for survivors of traumatic events.”

Harry’s smile pulled wider and wider as the idea settled over him. “Oh love...I think that would be a brilliant thing to do.”

Her eyes lit up with his words. “Yeah?”

“Of course, darling,” he nodded, his voice soft. “I think it’s an amazing idea.” A brilliant smile spread across her face and Harry felt his heart swell with just how happy she looked; his approval boosting her confidence in her idea. “What made you think of it?”

“Well,” she bit her lip and then shrugged, the smile still wide on her face. “You know how you sent Anne out to talk to me the other day during Emma’s riding lesson?”

Harry had the grace to look a bit sheepish, his cheeks flushing red. “You knew I did that, did you?”

“Duh,” Alex laughed and shook her head. “But you know...it was a good idea. I needed that. I needed to know someone else understood what’s going on in my head. I’ve always worked that way. And...I just assume because of who I am, that I couldn’t get that...because of privacy concerns and all.”

“Oh love...we could have found something. We could have drawn up privacy agreements if needed,” Harry interrupted as he reached out for her hand, his fingers wrapping around hers and squeezing it gently.

“Harry...listen,” she smiled and squeezed his fingers in return. “You knew I needed it and you found a way to give it to me. You have no idea how much that means to me. And it we couldn’t have done anything about finding a place for me to get that kind of support.”

His smile slipped a bit. “What? Why?”

“That afternoon, I came back here and pulled out my computer to see what kinds of places there were that actually did something like HFTF does for survivors of traumatic events. I thought maybe I could look into being a patron or lending my support. But I couldn’t find anywhere that does it. At least not in the same or similar way that HFTF does.”

“Really? That’s incredibly surprising,” Harry said.

“I felt the same way. I mean, how could there not be?” She smiled softly. “And I think I need to help change that. I mean, I realize I can’t be more than just a face to give it some notice but…”

“Sure you can,” Harry interrupted with a shake of his head. “You can absolutely be involved in it as more than just a face. We can start it as a partnership between HFTF and our foundation.”

“Really?” Alex blinked, surprised at the possibility.

“Absolutely,” he rushed out, nodding quickly. She could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. “For starters...you and Susannah can pick the people who you want to run the branch and you can make sure it’s set up to run how you both want it to.”

“Like you did with Sentebale?”

“Exactly like that,” he grinned. “And you can be involved with making sure it continues to run like you want it to.”

Alex took a deep breath and blinked back the unexpected tears that rose at the possibilities that were fast forming. “Wow. It just seems...too easy. To have the means to do something like this just handed to me…”

“Nobody is handing you anything, Alex,” Harry laughed. “The means are yours to do things like this already. I mean, it is ‘The Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.’ And I can’t think of a better way to use it.”

She bit her lip as she looked at him, unable to help the tear that slipped from the corner of one eye. And then before he realized what was happening, she had launched herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck in a hug that sent him falling backwards to the floor behind him.

“Whoa,” he grunted softly, his own arms wrapping around her, hugging her tight to him in return.

“Thank you,” she said, her words muffled in his neck. “You’re the best husband ever.”

“Ah well, that’s true,” he chuckled, making her giggle and pull up to look at him.

She relaxed over him and her hands moving to his shoulder. “Thank you. For doing everything you can to help me through this. Without you and Emma…”

“Well,” he said, leaning up to kiss her softly. “We happen to love you just a little bit.”

She smiled down at him. “I love you just a little bit too.”

“Yeah?” His brows lifted and he leaned up, wanting her lips back on his. “Enough to maybe...revisit the topic of your knickers?”

She giggled against his mouth. “Only if you call them panties.”

“Ha!” His hands pressed her closer. “You drive a hard bargain, my love. But you have a deal.”

A smug smile flashed across her face and then she bent and kissed him again, loving his soft groan as her tongue tipped out to run across the seam of his lips.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Emma’s voice broke out from somewhere in the garden. “Where are you? Papa Charles said it’s not polite to be later for supper and...Gus! Don’t pee on that!”

“I suppose that’s our cue,” Alex laughed as she moved off of Harry. “What do you suppose he’s peeing on?”

“Who knows?” Harry groaned into a laugh and then moved to his feet. He offered Alex and hand and helped her to her feet as well. “Some very rare and expensive flower bush no doubt. We’ll pick this back up later?”

“Me and my panties will be looking forward to it,” she grinned and sped from the room and out to the ladder of the treehouse, leaving him groaning - but happy - in her wake.

***************

Alex was on her third yawn before she finally gave in to how tired she evidently was. She was loving sitting in the library at Highgrove, tucked up in Harry’s side while they spent their last night at Highgrove listening to Charles tell hilarious stories of Will and Harry growing up. But as much as she wanted to soak up as much of the time with Harry’s family as she could before they left, she simply couldn’t keep her eyes anymore. She knew that if she didn’t go to bed, she’d end up passing out right in the middle of conversation. And the big bed upstairs in their room was calling her name.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hiding another yawn as she stood from the couch, moving over to hug both Charles and Camilla as she bid them goodnight. “Another ten minutes and I would be dead asleep on the sofa.”

“And then you’d have to hear her snore,” Harry snickered. “And believe me, you don’t want to be subjected to that.”

“Please,” Alex rolled her eyes, bringing soft laughter from both Charles and Camilla. “I do not snore.”

“Sure, sure,” Harry chuckled as he moved to stand from the couch as well. “I’ll go up with you,” he smiled at Alex before moving to hug his father and Camilla goodnight as well.

“Please let us know if you need anything,” Camilla offered, squeezing Harry’s hand affectionately before he stepped back.

“Thank you,” Alex smiled, her eyes already growing heavy. “And thank you so much for having use here for the past couple of weeks.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Charles said, his voice low and gruff as the heaviness of the reason why they had come to stay moved through the room.

“Alright,” Harry said softly, moving an arm around Alex’s shoulders and letting her lean into his side. “Let’s go to bed, sleepyhead.”

After one more round of goodnights, they moved from the library and towards the stairs. Harry’s arm stayed around Alex’s shoulders as they took them slowly, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other as they did.

“I’ll go check on Emma and then I’ll be in?” Harry said once they reached the top.

“Mhmmm…” Alex nodded. “If I make it that long. I might be fast asleep by the time you get in there.”

Harry chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. “Snoring away?”

“Shut up,” she giggled against his lips. “I do not snore.”

“You’re sticking with that, huh?” he laughed as he kissed her once more and stepped back.

“Absolutely,” Alex grinned at him before turning and moving towards their door.

Harry watched her go, his heart full and happy. She seemed to be getting a little better every day and though he knew she was still struggling at times, she smiled more and more as the days passed.

Once she was through their door, he turned towards Emma’s. He opened it quietly, peeking inside and smiling when he saw the long, wild blonde hair sticking out from under the covers on one end, and two small feet sticking out on the other. He pushed the door open just a bit more and tiptoed over to the bed. Being careful to be quiet, he pulled the covers down just slightly over her feet and then bent to kiss her softly on the top of her head.

“Goodnight, Em,” he whispered, smiling once more before he left the room.

He moved quickly across the hall to his and Alex’s room, opening the door to find her stepping from the bathroom in her pajamas, flipping the light off behind her.

“You haven’t even made it to bed yet?” he teased. His smile faded quickly though when she didn’t answer him, just shook her head softly and began to pull the covers back on the bed. “Alex? What’s wrong love?”

“Nothing,” she sighed, rolling her now slightly teary eyes at herself. “It’s stupid.”

“Please don’t do that...if you’re upset, please talk to me,” Harry said gently, moving around to her side of the bed.

“I’m not upset really,” she said, her eyes following him as he sat down on the bed and looked over at her. “Not about what you think anyway.”

“Okay,” Harry drawled, his eyes still a bit nervous as he looked at her.

“I started my period,” she sighed, rolling her eyes at herself even as the words fell from her mouth.

“Oh...ohhhh,” Harry breathed, understanding what was happening and feeling a little pinch in his own gut - along with a touch of relief - that their lovemaking from a couple of weeks before hadn’t resulted in a pregnancy.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Alex turned to look at him, taking a deep breath as she did. “I know that this is just...absolutely the wrong time. But you know…”

“Babies,” Harry finished for her, his lips curling up into a small, soft smile. He reached for her hand, pulling it into to warmth of his. “I do know.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex shook her head and wiped at her damp eyes with her free hand. “I know I’m being ridiculous. I need to recover fully before we start trying.”

“And not to mention the speculation…” Harry added in.

“Speculation?”

Harry’s cheeks flushed lightly and he adjusted his shoulders a bit. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Oh stop. I’m not going to dissolve into a broken mess on the floor. Tell me what you meant.”

“Well...you were locked in our home alone with that fucking asshole for hours...and you know…” Harry trailed off, looking slightly guilty as he shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I wouldn’t ever think...but the public…”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Alex groaned, falling backward onto the bed. “The public would go apeshit over that one, wouldn’t they? Thinking our child could be...ugh.”

“I’m sorry, love,” Harry murmured, lying back on the bed and turning on his side to face her.

“Stop being sorry,” she shook her head. “It’s better this way. You know what it’s like to grow up in the shadow of those kinds of rumors. I’m sure you wouldn’t wish it on your child.”

Harry’s eyes widened, a bit startled. They’d never really discussed that issue before - the still popular rumor that he was not Charles’ son; however ridiculous it was.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t wish it on my child, Alex,” he sighed, hating that their conversation was dissolving into this. “It’s just that...okay listen,” he leaned up on an elbow so that he was looking down at her. “When we made love that night, I didn’t just blindly agree to keep going and take the chance. I knew that if you got pregnant it would probably not be the best timing but you know, Alex...I didn’t really care so much. And not because I just didn’t want to stop. But because I love you and any child we could ever have, be it perfect timing or not, would mean everything to me. But yes, I’m a little relieved that it’s not going to have that stuff laid right on it’s tiny little shoulders from the moment it’s born.”

“Harry…”

“But that doesn’t mean,” he continued, putting a finger to her full lips to quiet her for the moment. “That when you told me just now that you started your period, that I wasn’t a little sad too.”

“Yeah?” Alex murmured, strangely feeling a bit better knowing that information.

“Come on, of course,” Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss her gently. “But we’re not in a rush, love.” He laughed when she snorted and looked at him doubtfully. “Okay, well...our emotions aside, we’re not in a rush,” he amended. “We’ve got things to work out and we have time to do them. But...when you’re truly ready...we will make a baby.”

Alex smiled softly and bit her lip. “Promise?”

Harry chuckled and held up a hand, his pinky extended towards her. “Pinky promise.”

“Alright, Sussex. Pinky promise it is,” Alex laughed as she reached up to hook her pinky through his, the slightly silly gesture only making her love him more.

“Good,” he grinned, his eyes dancing as he looked at her. “I don’t suppose...that maybe you’re not too tired for a bit of practice though?”

Alex giggled and, suddenly finding that she wasn’t as tired anymore, tilted her head to the side and her lips curved up at the sides.

“Why don’t you come over here and find out, Captain?”

Never one to resist an invitation such as that from her, Harry went to his wife with a grin.

And a goal to bring her time in the country to a wonderful end in his arms.