Against the Odds

As much as Alex had needed their time spent in the country, as much as it had helped her to begin the healing process, when it came time to head back into London she found herself looking forward to it. She knew that the rest of her recovery had to take place in London. She needed to start therapy and she needed to step just a little out of the bubble that had protected her since the night Patrick had taken her hostage.

But going back to London came with it’s own set of circumstances and eventualities that gave Alex a good amount of anxiety along with looking forward to being back. The first of those being the fact that they actually had no home to go back to. No one in the world expected them to go back to their cottage at Kensington Palace, and though the renovations on their new apartment were ahead of schedule, it would still be at least five or six months until they could move in.

However, much to both Harry and Alex’s relief, that issue was solved fairly quickly. Charles and Camilla graciously offered them a temporary set of rooms at Clarence House until their new apartment was finished. Ironically, the rooms they were given afforded them more space than they’d had at their cottage. There were three bedrooms total, a formal sitting room, a family room, a study that would be converted in a shared office for Alex and Harry, and even a decent sized kitchen with a small attached informal dining area. It was quiet and comfortable and it allowed them a place to begin to get back to normal and they were incredibly grateful to Charles and Camilla for inviting them in and making them feel at home.

The second major issue that they faced was in regards to Alex’s Protection Officers. Or rather, the fact that she was down one protection officer and that position had not been filled yet. So far, everywhere that Alex had gone, she’d been with Harry or with both Emma and Harry and there had been no need to approach the subject of bringing in someone else for her.

Until now.

They had been back in London for a couple of weeks. They had begun to settle into life as they knew it now. They had celebrated Alex’s 29th birthday in the middle of October with a low key night of cake and ice cream in their family room at Clarence House, joined by several members of both Alex’s family and Harry’s. She had started therapy with a doctor she liked very much and who came to hold their private sessions at Clarence House with her twice a week. But Alex made very few excursions out of the gates of Clarence House, and the two or three times she had left, Harry had been with her.

But as November rolled around, that was going to change. She’d set up a meeting with Susanna to discuss her idea to open a new branch of HFTF and she’d wanted to go herself, to stand on her own as she took steps to doing something good from her personal tragedy. As it happened, Harry was going to a private meeting with Walking With the Wounded on the same day, and Emma was going to be in school. And there would be no extra protection officers available to go with Alex.

The time had come to replace Patrick.

Harry would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about talking to Alex about bringing in someone new for her. He’d delayed it as long as possible, keeping Scotland Yard and their insistence that the Duchess needed protection at bay probably longer than he should have. But then he’d had an idea about the situation; a solution that would allow her to have a full protection team and not feel unsafe, as he knew she would with someone she didn’t know.

He found her in the kitchen one evening after he’d tucked Emma into bed. She was pulling out a carton of Blue Bell ice cream from their stock of it in the freezer and she smiled slyly up at him when he walked into the room.

“I can’t help it,” she said. “I need some chocolate chip cookie dough. Want some?”

“Sure,” Harry chuckled. “I’d love some.”

She grinned and then dished out a bowl for each of them. She slid the carton back into the freezer and then joined Harry at their small kitchen table, setting his bowl down in front of him before sliding into the chair next to his to dig into her own bowl.

“This is actually perfect,” Harry said with a soft smile as he spooned up a bit. “Because I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” Her smile matched his, loving this little tradition they’d started, talking out important things over a bowl of ice cream.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “About bringing in a new protection officer for your detail.”

“Oh…” Alex looked down as she set her spoon down in the bowl, suddenly not so hungry anymore.

“I want to put Mark on your detail and bring in someone new for my detail,” Harry went ahead, despite her obvious apprehension.

“What?” Alex’s eyes widened as she looked up at him. “But...Harry. He’s been with you for…”

“Forever,” Harry nodded, smiling softly. “You’ve known him as long as you’ve known me. You trust him.”

Alex couldn’t help the way her eyes went damp. She knew in reality it wasn’t a huge deal; protection officers often switched their assignments. But she also knew that every so often a PO seemed to just fit with the royal they were assigned to protect. And Mark fit with Harry.

“You would really do that?” she asked, her voice soft. “You would put him on my detail and bring in someone new for you? Would Mark even want to…”

“Yes,” Harry interrupted her with a smile and a nod. “Of course I would do that, love. And I spoke with Mark privately this afternoon and he said he would be more than willing.”

“Harry…” Alex’s eyes welled up and she moved from her chair and over to him, crawling into his lap before he even realized what she was doing.

“Whoa…” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her small frame as hers circled his neck.

“Thank you, Harry,” she said into his neck, her voice muffled. “I don’t even know what to say besides...” She pulled her face from his neck and smiled up at him. “Thank you...and I just...I love you so much.”

“You’re welcome. And I love you too.” He tightened his arms around her, pulling her chest tighter against his as her fingers pressed into his shoulders. “Alexandra?”

“Mhmmm?”

“Emma’s asleep?”

“Yes,” she giggled, knowing where his mind was headed. “I have ice cream to finish though.”

“Or…I could finish your ice cream...” He pulled back a bit and his lips curved up slowly as he watched her cheeks flush pink.

“Oh...is that right?” she murmured, her lips twitching up at the corners as she caught where his mind was going.

“Mhmm….” Harry nodded as he stood and sat her on the sturdy kitchen table. “And as I remember…” He leaned in to kiss her; slow and hot and deep. “You and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough taste amazing together...”

************

Alex couldn’t stop smiling.

She hadn’t stopped smiling since she’s stepped foot in the Healing Families Through Friends offices that morning. Even walking out of the doors at the end of her meeting with Susanna hadn’t wiped the smile from her face. And as she arrived home and the car pulled through the gates of Clarence House, her smile grew even wider.

She had done it. She had gone out for work and even though it was a private visit and even though it happened in a place that was probably one of the most comfortable places on earth for her, it had still made her incredibly nervous. But she had gone and it had been wonderful to see Susanna and talk to her and best of all, to present her idea to her.

And they were going to do it. She was going to collaborate on helping launch a new branch of HFTF and it felt amazing.

“Ma’am?”

Alex turned to Mark with a smile as he pulled open the car door and she stepped from it. “Yes?”

“I was told to let you know that the Prince of Wales is down in the small walled garden with your daughter.”

“Thank you,”Alex grinned. “I’ll go ahead and go straight there.”

“Very good,” Mark nodded with a small smile, smoothing his tie down as he stepped back.

Alex nodded and then turned, but quickly turned back to face him. “Mark?”

“Ma’am?”

“I don’t know if I said thank you...for coming to my detail.”

“Oh, yes m’am. Well…” He cleared his throat and nodded again. “I am happy to help.”

“I very much appreciate it. I just wanted you to know that.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Mark replied modestly and Alex couldn’t help but smile at that; it wasn’t about praise for him. This was his job. This was what he did. He kept Harry - and now Harry’s family - safe from harm.

Alex nodded and smiled once more and then turned around and moved off toward the direction of the garden, in search of her daughter and her father-in-law.

Her eyes found them the second she came around the corner to the garden. It may have been a quite chilly November day, but apparently there was still work Charles could find to do in his garden. And as evidenced by the way her daughter was covered nearly head to toe in dirt, she’d been delighted to join in on Charles’ work.

“Good afternoon!” Alex called out with a laugh, watching as both other their heads whirled around to face her.

“Mum!” Emma popped up, giggling as dirt seemed to fall from everywhere as she did.

Alex grinned as she moved closer, ruffling Emma’s already messy ponytail in lieu of a hug in greeting. “You look like you’re having fun with your Grandpa”

“So much fun!” Emma bounced on her feet. “Right Grandpa?”

“Of course, Emma,” Charles chuckled as he rose to his feet. Not nearly as covered in dirt as Emma, he leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheeks. “I did make sure she was in clothes that could get dirty first.”

“She’s fine,” Alex laughed as she shook her head. “Thank you for letting her stay with you while Harry and I worked today.”

“Absolutely, my dear,” Charles smiled warmly. “Now tell me, how did it go?”

Alex couldn’t help the way her smile grew even wider; she could feel her cheeks stretch with it, could feel the color warm her face. She’d previously discussed her idea with Charles, wanting to make sure it would be supported by the family and that he approved of her taking it on.

“It went amazing. Susanna wants to do it,” she said, her voice wavering slightly with the emotion it brought on.

“Of course she does,” Charles met her smile with one of his own and reached out to pat her shoulder; but only after he’d removed his gardening glove, naturally.

“Did you tell Miss Susanna that I said hello, Mummy?” Emma asked, her focus slightly different than the adults standing next to her.

“I did,” Alex turned her bright smile to her daughter. “She said hello back. And she said that anytime that you’d like to come visit her and Adam, she would love to see you.”

“Really?” Emma clapped her hands together and danced lightly on her feet. “Can we make a time, Mummy?”

“Of course. We’ll look at a calendar tonight and find a time when you don’t have something else going on.”

“Okay!” Emma nodded and then sighed, somewhat dramatically. “I hope I’m not too busy and it can be soon.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” Alex chuckled, watching as Emma turned and bounced back to her dirty work in the garden.

“You know,” Charles chuckle, bringing Alex’s attention back to him. “She reminds me quite a bit of Harry sometimes.”

“You’re telling me,” Alex laughed and shook her head. “Those two were meant to be together.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Charles said in that warm, fatherly way he had; that way that always made feel Alex protected and at home in his presence. “Now,” he said, growing a bit more serious as he changed the subject. “Tell me more about how your meeting went, Alexandra. I would love to hear all about it.”

**************

After about half an hour spent in the garden, rain had begun to fall and forced Charles, Alex, and Emma inside for the day. Charles had bid them both good afternoon and taken his leave and mother and daughter had headed back to their part of the big house; Emma needed a shower and Alex was ready to take her heels off and pull her comfortable yoga pants on.

It wasn’t but a few minutes after they returned that Harry walked through the door, his own smile wide and happy.

“Harry?” Alex called out as she rounded the corner with Gus right on her tail. She brightened as she saw him, taking in the smile on his face and the flush in his cheeks. He was excited about something; she could tell.

“Hello wife of mine,” he said as he moved to greet her. He wrapped his arms around her and dipped his lips to hers, drawing her into a surprisingly passionate kiss.

“Whoa,” she giggled when he pulled back, knowing the flush on her cheeks matched his. “I’m assuming something really great happened at that meeting today.”

“It did,” he nodded slowly, his hands pushing her closer to him. “Where’s Emma?”

“In the shower,” she chuckled, shaking her head at him. “We don’t have time for that right now.”

“Later?” His smile was cheeky as he lifted his eyebrows.

“Definitely, later,” she agreed with a wink. “Okay, but seriously. What the hell happened today with Walking With the Wounded today to put you in this mood?”

“Well, they’re doing this walk across the UK and...wait,” Harry stopped and stepped back, his eyes widening as he looked down on her. “I’m such an ass, Alex. You’re the one who had the big important meeting today. And I’m just sitting here trying to get you into bed and then…Jesus,” he laughed and shrugged. “Sorry, love. Tell me, how did it go?”

Alex grinned, loving his mood and the way his brain jumped from one thing to another when he was excited about something. “Susanna went for it. We’re opening another branch of HFTF.”

“Yes!” Harry exclaimed. He pulled her back into his arms and spun her around. “I knew she would go for it.”

“She was really, really excited about it,” Alex laughed as Harry set her back on her feet. “We talked for a couple of hours and I showed her all my plans. We’re going to start the process at the beginning of next month.”

“Oh love, that’s so incredible,” Harry said, his voice growing soft and warm. “I am so, so proud of you, Alexandra.”

“Well, thank you,” Alex murmured, flushing with the way he said the words. She leaned up on her toes to kiss him sweetly and then pulled back, her hands smoothing down the lapels of his suit coat. “Now, if you don’t tell me what happened at Walking With the Wounded today…”

Harry chuckled and nodded his head. “I am absolutely going to tell you. Can we wait for Emma though? It’s kind of something that we will need to discuss as a family.”

***********

A half an hour later, Emma was freshly showered and changed into her pajamas, Harry had changed out of his suit, and Alex had whipped up a quick dinner for all of them to sit and eat while Harry let them in on his news for the day.

“So, next August,” he began, setting his fork down on his plate and turning every bit of his attention to Alex and Emma. “Walking With the Wounded is doing a new challenge they would like me to be patron of. It’s a walk across all of Britain.

“Oh wow,” Alex breathed, her eyes going wide. Next to her, Emma’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Realizing she had just exposed a mouthful of Macaroni and Cheese, she shut her mouth and quickly chewed.

“You mean...across the whole country?” Emma squeaked, abandoning any and all thoughts of the dinner in front of her. “All of England?”

“Actually, all of England and Scotland,” Harry corrected with a grin.

“Whoa,” Emma whispered. “I’ll bet that’s gonna take a long time.”

“About two and a half months,” Harry answered. His eyes moved from Emma’s face over to Alex’s, watching the realization wash over her.

“You want to do the walk,” she said softly. There was no hint of her opinion on the issue; it was just a simple statement.

“They’ve asked me to,” Harry replied slowly. “Either all of it or a portion of it. Whatever I can do.”

“Do you want to do it, Daddy?” Emma asked, drawing his attention back to her for a moment.

“You know,” Harry couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “I do, honey. At least part of it. But...that would take me away from the two of you for a few weeks at least.”

“Ohhh…” Emma’s nodded as understanding hit her.

Harry nodded and smiled softly and then turned his eyes back to Alex. “If you tell me no, Alex. If you don’t want me to be gone for that long...I won’t do it.”

“I’m not going to tell you no,” Alex said with a smirk. “Do you really think I’d tell you no, Harry?”

“She wouldn’t,” Emma offered helpfully, bringing a chuckle from both Alex and Harry. “Not if it’s not something that’s really dangerous.” Her eyes suddenly went wide with that possibility. “It’s not really dangerous, is it Daddy?”

“No, it’s not dangerous,” Harry assured her right away. “Just hard work.”

“I would never say no to that,” Alex sat forward in her chair, her face serious. “Emma’s right. You want to do this, Harry? Then you’ll do it. We don’t have to decide on how long you’ll go for right now. But there is no way I’m saying no to something that makes you as happy as you were when you walked in the door tonight.”

****************

“I know you said we didn’t have to decide right away how much of the walk I might do,” Harry said as he sat on the edge of their bed later that night, watching as she moved around the room, getting ready for bed. “But now that it’s just us, are there any concerns you might have that you didn’t want to voice in front of Emma?”

Alex pulled her hair up into a messy knot on top of her head and then turned from the mirror and towards Harry. “I don’t have any ‘concerns’ Harry. I think this is a wonderful opportunity and I think you really, really want to do this. It’s a fantastic cause and…” She smiled softly. “I love you for wanting so much to do this.”

“Alex…” he sighed. His hands reached out and fell on her hips, pulling her closer to him.

“I do, however, have some questions,” she continued as she stepped between his legs and rested her hands on his shoulders.

“I would be worried if you didn’t,” he teased. “What questions did you have, love?”

“First, I’m assuming you’re going to have to train…” She lifted her brows with the question and he nodded in the affirmative. “Is your leg going to...be okay? To walk such a long distance? Is it strong enough?” She nudged his formally broken leg with her knee and waited for him to answer.

“Well, I have my standing appointment with Dr. Ben this week,” he said slowly. “I’m going to let him know about it and see what he thinks. I think I’d be fine, but I’ll get the okay from the good doctor before I make a final decision.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded. “As long as Dr. Ben gives you the go ahead, I’m good with that.”

“Okay, that’s settled then.” Harry’s lips curved up into a smug smile as he pulled her closer; he couldn’t help it. Having her in such close proximity and wearing her tiny little sleep shorts made his brain grow a bit fuzzy. “What’s your next question, my darling?”

“Well,” she drawled, her fingers playing in the hair at the base of his neck. “It’s not so much of as a question as it is...a deal.”

His brows lifted. “A deal? Are you offering to bring out the nurse’s uniform again? Because I am definitely…”

Alex interrupted him with a laugh and a smack to his shoulder. “It’s not the nurse’s uniform. I swear, lately you have a one track mind, Sussex.”

Harry chuckled and shrugged. “I have a beautiful, smart, sexy wife. Can you really blame me?” He grinned, Alex rolled her eyes, and he responded by pulling her even closer. “I’m sorry, love. Tell me, what’s the deal you want to make?”

Alex took a deep breath and her eyes settled on his, happy and hopeful. “I want you to take me and Emma to Lesotho.”

Harry’s heart swelled and his lips pulled into a slow, but incredibly bright smile. “Really? That’s what you want?”

“Of course,” Alex nodded slowly, her voice soft. “It’s been so long since you’ve been and neither Emma or I have ever been and I’m just...desperate to see it, Harry...this place that has such a big place in your heart.”

“When?” Harry asked with a grin so wide that Alex was sure his face was going to split into two. “I mean, I don’t know off the top of my head when we could put it on the Calendar, but things are still pretty open for next year…”

“Whenever we can,” she giggled, loving how he was ready to make plans right that minute. She leaned into him a bit more, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I know that we have a meeting with our staff this week to make plans for the upcoming year. We’ll make sure this takes priority, maybe?”

“Definitely,” Harry replied, leaning up to kiss her lips. “I hope you know, Mrs. Sussex, that this doesn’t make me want you any less right now.”

“Oh yeah?” She smirked as she moved onto the bed and straddled his lap. “Would anything in the world make you want me less right now?”

His answer was a gruff, “No,” as he pulled her tighter over his lap. “I want to make love to you, Alex. Can I?”

“Yes, Harry,” she sighed softly against his lips. “Always yes.”

*************

Alex’s desire to get back to normal was only further solidified over the next few weeks. She continued with her counseling sessions; all held privately at Clarence House with a doctor she found that she very much liked. Though she wasn’t quite ready to step out into the public eye on an official basis, the counseling sessions were helping her get there.

What she was ready to do, however, was to make plans for when she was ready to be in the public, to be with people again, beyond just those who were closest to her.

At the beginning of December, she and Harry called together a meeting with their staff and an afternoon was spent going over a tentative calendar for the next year.

“So the Lesotho trip is pretty much set for April? We’ll be attending the opening of the Mamahato Children’s Centre, right?” Harry made notes on a legal pad as he asked the question, addressing it to no one in particular.

“Yes sir,” Robin answered. “I’ll be joining you and the Duchess for all four days of your visit there.”

“And Emma will fly in with Mia for the final two days?” Alex asked, looking towards Robin and then Mia for confirmation.

“Yes,” Mia nodded, her trademark wide smile in place as she did.

“Good,” Alex sighed. “I’m so glad Emma can come down without missing school. I would hate for her to miss it. Thank you Mia.”

“No problem,” Mia shrugged.

“May will be light for the both of you,” Robin noted. “Your apartment is due to be ready and per your request, time has been allowed for you to move in and settle as a family.”

“Thank you, Robin,” Alex said sweetly before glancing at Harry, unable to help the grin that spread across her face at the thought. He returned her smile and then their attentions were both pulled away again by Robin, who was continuing their proposed summer schedule.

“And then Charlotte will be back in June,” Robin noted and Alex bit her lip to hold back her urge to giggle at the look of near relief on Robin’s face. He really was doing a great job, but there was no one but Charlotte who could handle her job like she could. “Just in time…” Robin continued, sitting back in his chair and looking directly over at Harry. “For a potential tour.”

Harry’s eyes lifted, surprise evident on his face as he glanced to Alex and then back to Robin. “Really? Where?”

“Well, we were thinking the states...if you agree, that is,” Robin said, pulling out a piece of paper from his folder and sliding it across the table to Harry and Alex. Their heads bent together over the paper as they read the very tentative outline of what a tour of the States could look like.

“New York City, D.C., and…” Alex grinned and clapped her hands together, unable to help her excitement at the thought. “Texas?! Really?”

“We figured it would be a popular place for you to visit,” Robin nodded. “And that you might enjoy being able to go back and visit, even in an official capacity. And of course, Princess Emma would be joining the tour as she will be on school break. If you both wish her to do so, of course.”

“Yes,” Alex nodded happily and looked over to Harry. “Is that okay with you?”

“Are you kidding?” Harry laughed. “It’s absolutely okay with me. Go ahead and see what we can put together,” Harry said, turning back to Robin. “I know there are quite a few military bases in Texas, I’d like to do something with the military while we’re there.”

“Yes, sir,” Robin nodded, making a note in his iPad. “That’s really the big stuff until the fall, when you’ll be participating in the Walk Across Britain.” He looked at Harry, waiting for confirmation.

“Not the entire thing,” Harry said, leaning back in his chair. He glanced at Alex with a small smile and then turned back to the staff members across from him. “Just the last three weeks, ending of course, in London.”

“Very good,” Robin made another note. “ITV has already put in a request to get permission to do a documentary featuring the soldiers and your participation in the walk.”

“Tell them yes,” Harry said immediately. “And prepare a press notice that I’ll be joining for the final three weeks.”

“Done,” Robin said. He made the final note and then looked up at the Duke and Duchess across the table from them. “That’s really all that needs to be discussed for now. Unless either of you have something else to add?”

“I do,” Alex said, her voice quiet but firm.

“You do?” Harry said, a bit of surprise evident in his voice. She turned a soft smile to him and then turned back to face the table.

“I know that press has been calling and asking if I’m going to join the family at church on Christmas day.” She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “You may confirm that I am...and that Harry, Emma, and I will be walking with the rest of the family to and from church.”

“Oh love,” Harry murmured beside her, bringing her gaze sliding to his. “Are you sure? You don’t have to…”

“I know,” Alex assured him. She reached out for his hand and squeezed his fingers gently. “But I want to. I really, really want to. I promise.”

Harry couldn’t help the happy, proud smile that spread across his face. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Alex repeated, matching his smile before she turned back to Robin. “You can put out a press release that the Duchess of Sussex will return to public appearances in three weeks. On Christmas Day at Sandringham.”

Three weeks. Three weeks and she would step back into the public eye for the first time in over five months. The thought made her shaky and nervous, but it also excited her that she was going to take the big step she’d been dreading for months and that she knew that she could do it.

The decision to take the step had been fairly easy when it came right down to it. It was her first Christmas as Harry’s wife; the first Christmas that him and her and their beautiful little daughter would be officially a family. It was their first Christmas as Royals. And in the end, the truth was that she simply couldn’t bear to miss any of it.

After all, Christmas was her favorite time of year. And despite the anxiety that came with stepping out into the public, she found herself looking forward to it this year more than ever.