Against the Odds

Alex was the first to wake up the next morning. Her eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the light coming in through the curtains. She could hear Harry’s deep breathing behind her, steady in his sleep. His arm slung over her waist, holding onto her even in his sleep. Treasuring this peaceful moment, she lay still for a few minutes, smiling softly as she remembered the night before.

Harry had made love to her in a way that just thinking about it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up and her toes curl into the mattress. He said beautiful, sweet, wonderful things to her as their bodies were pressed together, making her feel like the only woman who had ever existed in his eyes. In return she had given him a part of herself that she hadn’t shared with anyone since John died, and if she were completely honest with herself, she wasn’t sure if she had ever given as much to her late husband as she had to Harry last night. She had been so young when she married John, just nineteen. She never regretted it, but over the years, after the shock of his death had gone, she had often wondered what would have become of them, where they would be now, if they would have grown up over the last six years and become different people. She never doubted that she had loved him, but it was different than with Harry. John was her best friend, her safe zone, the guy that made her feel taken care of. It had been much the same when they had made love; comfortable, safe, and easy.

Harry though, Harry was not her safe zone. But, loving him was as natural to her as walking; she didn’t think about it, process how to do it, she just did. They were matched, even, always on the same wavelength it seemed. Making love with him had been the same…they had been so completely and utterly in tune with each other. Every breath, every moan, every sigh was a communication that the other understood.

She felt him shift behind her, bringing her out of her thoughts, and she turned her head slightly, finding him looking at her with one eye open, the other still closed as if fighting off wakefulness.

“Good morning,” she whispered. She turned her body over so that she was facing him, bringing her arms in front of her and moving in close, burrowing herself against his warmth and under the covers.

“Mhhmmm…yes, it is a good morning,” he said, his voice rough and hoarse from sleep. He wrapped his arms tight around her, loving the feel of her in his embrace first thing in the morning.

She pulled her head back and looked up at him, thinking just how sexy he was like this; his hair was tousled from sleep, his eyes dark and heavy, with light layer of stubble formed on his jawline, which she was dying to feel against her skin.

“What?” he asked with a grin while he watched her perusal of him. “Do I have dried drool on my chin or something?”

She giggled. “No. I was just thinking how sexy you looked right now, all messy and scruffy.”

“What? You mean all the work I put into looking clean cut and well groomed, and you think I look better like this?” he said with mock offense.

“I don’t know…”she said, moving her arms and winding them around his neck so could press herself fully against him. “You look like…a bad boy like this.” She raised an eyebrow suggestively with her last words.

He laughed, his chest rumbling. “I wasn’t aware you were attracted to bad boys, Alexandra.”

“Usually not, but…I’ll make an exception for the clean cut, charming, devastatingly handsome redhead who’s masquerading as one in my bed right now,” she whispered as she leaned up, brushing her lips against the stubble on his jaw. She felt him start to grow hard against her stomach and pressed her lower body harder against him.

“Ohhhh…it’s like that, huh?” he said with a groan as her lips traveled across his jaw slowly.

“Hmmmm…Harry…I like your stubble…I like the way it feels against my skin…” she murmured as she leaned up and rubbed her cheek against his, dragging her lips behind it. She reached between them and found him, fully hard and ready for her now, and she wrapped her hand around him.

He groaned loudly at her touch. “Jesus Alex, you’re going to kill me. I feel like I’ve awakened the sleeping beast,” he murmured, his hands flexing at her back and then moving down her backside, pulling her high and tight against him.

Her head popped up. “I’m sorry…are you…complaining?”

“Ha! In no way am I complaining, love. I’m thrilled, ecstatic, and eternally grateful…in fact,” he said, his eyes glinting, “Let me show you what I think of this awakened beast lying naked here with me…”

And then, Harry took control, moved over her, and spent the next hour worshipping her body; making sure she knew just how grateful he really was.

**************

It was late morning when they finally crawled out of bed, but only because of Alex’s insistence that she could not still be in bed, and he could not still be here when Emma got home. She was going to spend the afternoon with her daughter, and as much as she would like it if he stayed right here in her apartment all day, she needed to keep some valued time with Emma to herself. Harry was completely fine with that, loving that she was firm in her commitment to her daughter.

“Hey, I’ve got a question for you,” he asked her as he packed his toiletries back into his duffle bag. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed going through some work papers, just keeping him company as he got ready and got his stuff together.

She looked up. “What’s up?”

“There is an event in a couple of weeks. It’s on a Tuesday at Nobu on Park Lane. It is a fundraiser type of thing. It isn’t for any particular charity or affiliated with The Prince’s Charities, it’s just basically where a bunch of rich society people get together with a bunch of different charity representatives and decide where to donate their money.”

“Okay…” Alex said, wondering where he was going with this.

“I would like you to go.”

“Oh,” she said in a small voice. “Like, with you?” Her eyes were as wide as saucers.

He chuckled and went to zip up his bag. “No, not with me; I’ll be there, but I don’t think we should take our relationship public yet.” He stopped, looking up at her. “Why, do you think we should take it public?”

Her mouth fell open and then a few seconds later she fell straight back on the bed, laughing her head off.

“Well shit, Alex. You don’t have to think it’s that hilarious. Talk about hitting a guy where it hurts,” he said, a small smile playing his lips.

She rolled over, looking up at him, still fighting the giggles. “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just that you,” she pointed at him. “Were asking me,” she turned the finger on herself. “If I thought we should take it public.”

He stared at her, totally perplexed. “That is what I said, yes,” he finally agreed.

She sat up, scooting on her knees over to him. She leaned forward and put her arms on his shoulders. His hands immediately went to her slim hips and he unconsciously moved closer to her.

“Harry,” she began, her lips curving at the sides. “I know nothing about any of this. I can’t answer that. The best I would ever be able to say is that when you say it’s the right time then it’s the right time. I trust you to know that. You have been dealing with this stuff for almost thirty years. I’ve been dealing with it for thirty days.”

He sighed. “I know. Well, I want to keep you to myself a little longer, if that’s okay,” he said with a small smile.

“If my kid weren’t going to be here in…” she looked at her watch. “Twenty minutes; I’d say you could have me to yourself right now.”

He groaned. “Don’t even start. Twenty minutes is not enough.” He leaned over and kissed her though, soft and sweet, before pulling untangling himself from her arms. “So, will you go?”

“Emma has dance class on Tuesday, and I can have Molly pick her up from there. What am I supposed to do at this thing? I’m assuming our interaction would be minimal so would I be on my own completely? I’m okay with that if I am, I just need to prepare myself.”

He shrugged. “Actually, I was thinking you could go with Charlotte. Judging by the giggle explosion at the party yesterday, you two seem to get along well.”

She laughed, remembering it. “Ah yes, the giggle explosion; you mean when Charlotte told me if I hurt you that she would kick my tiny blonde ass into the next century?”

Harry’s head snapped up. “She said what?!”

Alex shook her head at him. “Don’t get mad. She cares about you and was being a friend. I did not take offense in any way. I thought it was sweet…and pretty damn funny.”

Harry laughed. “She’s got a big mouth.”

“She is a good friend to you, Harry.” She looked at him meaningfully.

“That she is,” he said. He seemed to think of something then, tilting his head to her. “Alex, how come I’ve never heard you mention your friends? I mean, you can tell me about them. You can tell them about me. I can meet them.” He stopped and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m actually kind of an asshole for never bringing that up.”

She shook her head. “No, you aren’t an asshole.” She sighed and sat back on the bed, looking up at him. “Harry, I really don’t have any good friends. I mean, there are acquaintances, people I have drinks or lunch with on occasion, but no one that I’d call a close friend.”

Harry moved to sit on the bed next to her. “Is that by choice?”

“In a way it is,” she turned towards him, taking one of his hands in hers, playing with his fingers. “Listen, I was eighteen when I moved to London. I met John the first week I was here, and because I was young and dumb and in love I got absorbed in that.” She stopped and took a deep breath, looking down at her fingers before looking back up at him. “We got married, then he was deployed, I found out I was pregnant, and he died, all within a few months’ time. I was so lost for a long time after that. I had Molly of course, and once I started the group meetings, I had friends there, but those aren’t really friends you spend time with outside of the group, you know? And then I had a baby, and I couldn’t do the things that girls my age were doing without sacrificing my time with Emma. It was just never worth it. So, I buried myself in raising my daughter and building HFTF and that was pretty much it. I talk to my mom and my dad and my brother all the time, and I have a best friend back home that I talk to once a week, but here in London? Not so much.”

“Alex, I’m about to give you a piece of advice. You can do what you want with it, but just don’t dismiss it okay?” Harry asked softly once she had finished.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and waiting. “Okay.”

“You are going to need people to turn to. When this,” he stopped and motioned between the two of them with his free hand. “Gets out…you are going to need people to vent to that aren’t me. It’s not that I won’t listen to you or won’t care, because I will, but there will be times when you need to vent about me, about my world that you are coming into, and you won’t want to come to me. Call your parents and your brother; tell them about us. Tell them that you are dating someone and tell them who it is. If this gets out before we want it to, you don’t want them to find out by a reporter calling their house. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be isolating for you.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. “I was wondering if I should do that, call my parents.”

He smiled at her. “Of course you can. I trust you to tell whoever you think should know.”

She sighed. “That reminds me, can I please share Charlotte with you? I kind of think she’s pretty badass. Did you know that she came over and helped me decide what to wear before I went to Kensington last weekend?”

Harry smiled, impressed. “Did she? Well, good. I’m glad you like her. Charlotte’s a great friend.”

“Do you mind sharing me?” she asked him playfully.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Only with Charlotte…” He trailed off as he let his eyes roam over her, dressed scantily in a camisole and tiny silk shorts. “And she can never see you naked.”

Alex raised her eyebrows. “She helped me pick out an outfit. I changed clothes in front of her. She’s seen me naked…well, almost.”

He pointed at her. “Stop. Right now. Just stop.”

Alex grinned. “I mean, she was here for like, an hour…and I changed like, fifteen times.”

“Nope. Not listening. You are trying to put images in my head that I do not want…” He stopped, waving his hand above his head, “…floating around in there.”

Alex laughed, grabbing his face and kissing him soundly. “Too late.”

Harry groaned. “Enough of that,” he said sternly, but he couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from twitching as he leaned over to kiss her again.

“I should go,” he said quietly when he pulled back.

Alex nodded. “Yeah.”

She agreed, but he saw what she didn’t say. She didn’t want him to go any more than he wanted to. Their perfect twenty-four hour period was over, they had to get back to reality, and it made them both somewhat melancholy.

“Hey Alex?”

She looked up and caught his eyes. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

The smile he loved so much lit up her face and his mission was accomplished.

“I love you too,” she said.

“Walk me to the door?” he asked.

She took his hand. “Of course.”

***************

The next two weeks passed much as the past few had; evenings when Harry wasn’t working or Alex didn’t have too much work to take him were spent at Alex’s flat and a date night on Saturday was spent at Harry’s where she stayed the night. She gave in one night and let him stay with her, where she had been firm that they were not going to make love. In the end though, she had no hope against the onslaught of his hands and his mouth and his body as he tormented body to peak after peak, forcing her to stuff her fist in her mouth so Emma wouldn’t hear her cries. The next morning she promptly kicked him out at dawn, before Emma woke up. She still wasn’t ready to approach the subject of why Harry was there in the morning with her daughter. Harry laughed at her haste to get him out, but he understood, accepting that he had already gotten more from her the previous night than he had even hoped. Plus, where Emma was concerned, Alex was always right in his mind and that was the end of story.

The night of the charity function Harry had discussed with Alex arrived, and Charlotte had asked her to meet her at the St. James Palace offices at six o’clock on Tuesday evening so they could ride over together. Harry was at a meeting elsewhere in London and would be arriving to the event about half an hour after them.

Alex arrived right on time, having checked in with all proper security and being show up to Harry’s staff office by a rather nice older gentleman named Ralph, who pointed her to Charlotte’s office door. Alex went over and knocked on the door frame, alerting Charlotte, who was on the phone, to her presence. Charlotte looked up at her and smiled, motioning her to come in and sit while she finished the call.

Alex smiled and moved into a chair. She was looking around Charlotte’s office, observing the clean, tasteful lines of everything when she felt her phone buzz in her clutch. She reached in and pulled it out, smiling as the text from Harry appeared on the screen.

H: Don’t know how I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you tonight. I’m looking forward to trying. I love you.

She immediately typed a response, her face in a wide smile as she did so.

A: The feeling is mutual. You know how sexy I think you are in a suit. Hope you come over after so I can peel it off of you J I love you too.

“Oh good God, you have got it bad.”

Charlotte’s voice startled Alex, and she jumped, almost dropping her phone. “What?” she asked as she looked up at Charlotte, who was now off of her phone line.

“You were texting Harry, right?” Charlotte nodded towards the phone Alex was now slipping back into her clutch. “Your smile was so big I could fit a coat hanger in it.”

Alex didn’t even bother to be embarrassed. “I was,” she said with a big grin. “And I do have it bad…and I will certainly not apologize for it. He’s…well…he’s Harry,” she said with a shrug.

Charlotte smirked. “Well, Harry to you and Harry to me are two totally different people.”

Alex matched Charlotte’s smirk. “My Harry is better.”

Charlotte laughed. “You know, just for the record Alex, he’s never been like this with anyone before.”

Alex’s heart beat a little faster at Charlotte’s unexpected words. “Really? We’ve just moved so fast that I thought maybe that’s just how he…”

Charlotte shook her head, cutting Alex off. “No. Harry is always cautious, careful with women. He’s only had a handful of girlfriends, and only one serious one that the press knows about. He still kept himself closed off about her when it did get out. But with you…he’s dying to show you off. When you’re ready, he’ll have no problem showing the world how he feels about it.”

A slow grin spread across Alex’s face. “Really?”

Charlotte laughed. “Ugh, quit going all googly eyed. It’s gross. And yes, he is. It’s almost…cute…if you like that sort of thing.”

Alex laughed. “I’d say it’s very cute.”

Charlotte wrinkled her nose and stood. “Come on, let’s go. I want to get to the free champagne before they switch to the cheap stuff.”

“Now Charlotte, is it really cheap stuff, or is it just less expensive, expensive stuff?” Alex asked with a raised eyebrow as she followed the brunette out of the office.

Charlotte threw her head back in laughter. “I like you, Alex.”

************

Alex was unbelievably grateful for Charlotte after they arrived at Nobu. Alex could hold her own anywhere and with anyone, but having Charlotte there to introduce her to all of the people she should be talking to was a Godsend. Plus, Charlotte was hilarious. Sure, she was loud and blunt and fast paced, but Alex had the best time keeping up with her and watching the way she interacted with these people. Alex had a feeling that if Charlotte told any one of these people to give money to HFTF, they would have done it in a heartbeat, but Charlotte knew the rules, knew she couldn’t solicit directly for Alex. Instead she talked her up, which made Alex much more comfortable talking HFTF up.

It was when had been there about an hour that Alex noticed that Harry hadn’t arrived yet. She checked her cell phone and frowned, seeing there were no messages.

“His meeting probably ran late,” Charlotte said with a shrug when she say Alex check her phone.

“What was the meeting for? I mean, if I can even ask that,” Alex said, not sure where the lines were drawn on her knowing his schedule.

“Some Army thing,” Charlotte answered, taking a swig of his champagne.

Alex smirked.

“What?” Charlotte asked.

“Nothing,” Alex said with a laugh and a shake of her head. “It’s just that every time I think Army, I think of Harry in uniform. And when I think of Harry in uniform all these…thoughts…fill my head…and holy crap, why am I tell you this?”

Charlotte’s mouth was hanging open. “I have no fucking idea.”

Alex laughed. “I think it’s been way too long since I’ve had girl talk.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help with that. I guess I’m going to have to get used to hearing about Harry and…” she stopped and shuddered for dramatic effect. “Sex.”

“You’ve really never thought of him that way?” Alex asked teasingly.

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Okay Alex. I’ve known Harry since I was thirteen. Do you know what Harry looked like when he was thirteen? Let’s just say we all thought William took all of the good looking genes and poor Harry was left out in the cold. So, apart from one drunken kiss at a party when we were sixteen, no, I’ve never thought of, and never will think of Harry that way. I still see that nerdy little thirteen year old kid.”

“Wait, you’ve kissed Harry?” Alex said, trying to hold back her laughter. She wasn’t mad, she found it hilarious.

“Ugh. Yes,” Charlotte groaned.

“Well Charlotte, looks like I’m going to have to kick your brunette ass into the next century,” Alex joked.

Charlotte smirked. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

There was a commotion at the door then and both Alex and Charlotte turned, although Alex knew before she even moved around that it was for Harry. The room took on a hushed tone. Even though most of the people in the room knew Harry, had been around him before, there was still something that made people sit back in a little bit of awe when he walked in.

Then he entered, shaking hands with the important people, the event organizers, before his eyes lifted, searching for her. He found her within seconds, and something in his eyes gave her pause. He looked…strained. Then his eyes slid next to her to Charlotte, and he lifted them slightly, throwing some sort of silent communication her way.

“Charlotte…” Alex began, turning to look at her.

“Alex,” Charlotte said, trying to look calm. “There is a private room around the corner in the very back of the restaurant. We’re going in there to wait for Harry.”

“What? Why?” What is going on?” Alex asked, confused.

“That’s where he wants us to go, so that’s where we are going,” Charlotte said before taking Alex’s hand and swiftly, but smoothly, leading them through the crowd to the closed doors that weren’t visible from the main room where the function was located. Charlotte took out some sort of key with Nobu’s logo on it and unlocked the door quickly, handing it off the one of Harry’s protection officers who was already standing guard there.

Alex wondered how in the world these people communicated these things in such a short time as she fought to keep wandering mind under control.

“What is going on, Charlotte?” Alex asked quietly.

“Relax, Alex,” Charlotte said, her voice low.

“Really, you usher me into a private room at just some glance from Harry, who by the way, looks just as freaked out as I feel and you want me to relax?”

Just as Charlotte opened her mouth to respond the answer the door slid open and Harry walked in. He slid a glance to Charlotte, who took a deep breath before giving him a quick hug and sliding back out of the door.

He looked at her…he looked at her and his eyes looked so sad that it sent chills through her body.

“Harry?” Alex asked…her voice low, worried. “What is going on? Did I do something wrong? Are you…”

His voice broke, along with his heart when he said the next three words.

“I’m being deployed.”

Alex’s hands flew to her mouth. “No. You said…you said there wasn’t a chance…”

He shook his head. “I said there was very little chance. I truly didn’t think…” he trailed off, raking his hands through his hair. “God damn it!” he yelled into the room, making Alex jump. “I wanted this for so long and then as soon as…as soon as I’m happy here at home they decide I can go.”

Alex’s eyes were wide, terrified. “Afghanistan?” she whispered brokenly.

He nodded, his eyes growing watery as he watched the emotions flash on her face. She’d done this before. She had sent someone she loved to war to do the exact same job he was being sent to do and the person she love died.

When they told him this evening, his first thought had been of her, of how she was going to handle it. He’d wanted to get out of that meeting and intercept her before she got to Nobu but they wouldn’t fucking let him leave without the full briefing. He knew he couldn’t have stayed at this function with her for the next two hours and have kept himself from breaking apart. He couldn’t give a flying fuck about all the people out there and their money. All that mattered was her.

And now he was standing here, telling her he was going to war for four months, breaking her apart.

“Alex…I’m good at what I do. It’s only four months. I’ll be safe, I promise.”

“That’s what John said to me, Harry! That’s exactly what he said to me and he got killed!” she yelled at him, tears spilling over her eyes. She looked destroyed, wild.

“They wouldn’t send me if they didn’t believe that…”

“Stop!” she screamed, not caring if anyone heard.

He flinched, but took a step toward her, wanting to comfort her.

“No,” she whispered brokenly, holding her arms out in front of her, halting him in his place. “I can’t do this. I have to go.”

Harry’s eyes got wide, fearful. “Alex…don’t.”

“Don’t what, Harry? Don’t go? I can’t stay! Don’t you understand? I can’t do this again. It’s better this way. I’ll just go back to it just being and Emma and I only have to worry about protecting her.” Tears streamed from her eyes, knowing in her heart even as she said what she said, that it wasn’t true. Even leaving him now, it would never go back to being just her and Emma. He had invaded her life and there was no way of getting him out now, but she wouldn’t listen to her heart. Alex was failing the heart that had never failed her.

“Alexandra, you cannot leave me!” He finally shouted back at her. “I love you and you love me, God damn it. You don’t just walk out on someone you love.” His voice broke at the end and she almost caved to her heart, but she was too far gone into a place in her mind that she had thought she closed off long ago; a place where the pain and uncertainty threatened to drag her down.

“Maybe I was wrong then,” she whispered.

“Wrong about what?” he asked in a steely tone. He felt sick to his stomach.

She choked back a sob. “Loving you.”

He gasped. “You don’t believe that.”

From somewhere within she gathered what little resolve she could find and steeled herself against her broken heart. “I think I do.”

His eyes narrowed, his cheeks reddening with anger and frustration and sadness.

“If that’s true, then walk out this door right now and you’ll never have to see me again. I’ll let you go, I swear. I’ll never come after you if that’s what you really believe.” Harry challenged her, thinking she would never do it. She would never be able to make it past him and out of the doors.

But Alex did.

She pulled her shoulders up, wiped her face, and then somehow, someway, she walked past Harry and out of the doors without looking back.