All My Life

Frank's POV

I was excited to be seeing Gerard, when I was younger it was my favourite thing to do. Our Moms were friends so we were practically raised amongst each other. It was a fun childhood, everyday after school I'd go around to his and we'd spend the evening together, until about six o'clock when my Mom would drag me home.

I would scream and cry to be able to stay with Gerard, but my Mom was strict on taking my home. I can remember staying over at his house one time in the middle of a storm. It was the first ever sleepover I'd had and quite frankly, I was petrified.

Mommy walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye, Auntie Donna whisked me inside and fussed over me for a while. She took my raincoat off me and helped me to slide of my boots, Gerard ran into the kitchen and smiled at me. I hopped off the seat and hugged him tightly, he hugged me back and kissed my forehead.

It's what we always do, we love each other and we're happy to show it. We're the bestest friends ever and we always will be just like we always have been. Gerard is twelve and I'm nearly seven he's always looked after me even though he's a big boy and I'm only little.

But my momma and his momma say it doesn't matter because we've always been close. Gerard held my hand as his mom made snacks for us to take into his room for the night, I usually copy what Gerard does because I want him to like me and I want to be just like him.

He took me into his bedroom at six o'clock and we snuggled up close on his bed, I like hugging Gerad because he's warm and squishy, like my mommy is but she doesn't let me sleep in her bed anymore because I need to be a big boy like Gee.

"Are you comfy Frankie?" He smiled at me and I nodded. He pulled my hand away from my mouth, removing my thumb from inside it. I pulled an angry face and he laughed at me making me stick my tongue out in response.

"Don't suck your thumb or it will fall off!" He giggled and I rolled my eyes. "Frankie, want to watch Nemo?" I nodded and smiled around my thumb, which had crept back into my mouth when Gerard wasn't looking. He stood up and shook his head as he walked.

-

We fell asleep curled up on his bed, after a few hours I woke up to a loud bang. I jumped and sat up quickly. I let out a whimper as another bang came followed with a flash, I tugged at Gerards shirt and he rolled over to face me yawning. I cuddled into his stomach and felt him sit up and stroke my hair.
"W-what's that?" I cried and clung to his chest, I dug my nails into him and he held my tight rocking me gently.

I calmed down after a little while with Gerard holding me close and stroking my hair and rubbing my back. I felt comfortable enough to sleep and that's where I slept. Curled up with Gerard on his bed in his arms trying my best to be a big boy like him. He's so brave. He's my hero.

As we got older Gerard started to meet new people, he started a band in high school and when I moved from middle school to high school I felt excluded. Me and Gerard were always close until he left me for his friends. We never hung out together back then, I became closer friends with his younger brother Mikey.

He was closer to me in age and he was always nice to me, he'd invite me round to his house but Gerard would just glare at me and make me feel uncomfortable, the problem was he never said a word to me...

"Frankiiiiiiieeeeee!" I turned as Mikey launched himself at me, I dodged to the side causing him to land flat on his face on the floor at my feet. I laughed and helped him up, he readjusted his glasses and grinned, he was blushing madly. "Alicia is watching," he mumbled. I turned around and caught her eye, she grinned and walked away.

"I'm telling you Mikes, she knows," I rolled my eyes and walked towards the building.
"You told her!?" He pointed and glared at me, I pushed his hand away and laughed.
"I didn't tell her she just knows," I giggled.
"How are things with Pencey Prep?"
"Uhm... not too good... I don't think we're going to last long to be fair Mikes, too different from each other... I really like playing music though," I sighed. Mikey hugged me gently, not as warm and cosy as Gee's hugs used to be.

"Well, Gerard wants to start a band... uhm, I agreed to play bass... You want in? Come to rehearsal tonight, Gee won't mind but he can't play guitar and sing at the same time he's a Geetard after all." We both laughed and I rolled my eyes.
"I guess I'll come, I'll bring Pansy too," I smiled to myself.

Mikey said goodbye to me before heading off to his lesson, I hummed to myself as I pulled the stuff I needed out of my locker, it doesn't matter if I'm late, I have double math first thing. Unfortunately for me, someone seemed to have other ideas. I felt myself thrown against the lockers then dragged to the floor by my collar.

I let out a yelp and tried to shove the person away from me, I failed miserably and felt a fist colliding with the side of my face. I was chucked mercilessly to the ground watching the feet of my attacker retreat.
"PANSY!" He yelled as he left me lying on the floor. I whimpered and regained composure, I pushed myself off the floor and walked into my class with my head down and my eyes facing the ground. The teacher didn't say a word, merely gave me a sympathetic look as I walked to my seat.

I settled down for the rest of the lesson, I was well aware of the whispers and the stares around me. I hated the fact that people talked about me, it made me feel like such a wimp, I can't even fight back because it'll just get worse.

-

The end of the day rolled around and I met Mikey at the front gates, Gerard was coming to collect us as both of us hadn't bothered to take our test. As the car pulled up I braced myself to face him, I sighed and climbed into the backseat as Mikey crawled into the front.

Gerard caught my eye in the mirror and his eyes widened at the sight of me. "Franki- um, who did that to you?" He made a gesture to my darkening eye. I blushed and shook my head gently, my hair fell into my eyes and I looked down at my lap.
"No one, I walked into my locker door," I shrugged. Mikey laughed and glanced at me.
"Again? I swear you need glasses Frankie," He giggled. I laughed along with him half heartedly.

Gerard was still watching me in the mirror, his eyes were locked on my face, he knew I was lying. He always knew when I was lying when we were kids. "Frank? You going home?" He coughed and started the car.
"No Gee! He's gonna play guitar for My Chemical Romance! Isn't that great!? Me, you, Frank and Toro. All we need is a drummer!" He grinned. Gerard's mouth dropped open and he sighed, he started to mumble his opinion to Mikey as he drove.

When we got to Gerard and Mikey's house their mom was waiting with a plate of cookies and a tray of drinks.
"FRANKIE! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES!" She squealed and shoved the plate and tray at her sons before wrapping me in a bear hug. "It hasn't been the same without you and Gee playing together, like the good old days!" She smiled and ruffled my hair. "Oh my! Look at your face! What's happened!?"
"He walked into his locker," Gerard spat and ran down to the basement with Mikey following behind.
"Locker? Now that's a lie and a half, tell me what really happened, I won't tell the boys," She smiled.

We both sat down at the kitchen table and she made tea whilst I told her about getting bullied, and how it was getting worse. She listened to me as I babbled and I leaned on the table feeling sorry for myself.
"D-do you mind if I go see the others? It's just-"
"Oh, sorry love, go!" She smiled. I smiled and thanked her before rushing down the steps to the basement, I grabbed Pansy from the back seat of the car before hand.

I walked into the dark room and Mikey leapt on me, I laughed and heard two other people laughing as well. I looked up to see Gerard and a guy with an afro. I had no idea who he was but once I managed to shove Mikey away he introduced himself as Ray Toro.

"Frank, I need to talk to you," Gerard said. He took Pansy off me and handed her to Mikey before leading me upstairs. We sat down on the top step together and he took my hand gently, I blushed and looked at my feet. "I know you didn't walk into your locker door, I'm not an idiot. Who hit you Frankie, we can make it stop." He stroked my hand and used his other to force me to look at him. "Please tell me," he begged.

"I-I don't know who it was." My eyes filled with tears. "But it's been happening... for weeks... s-since I-" I cut myself off and looked down again.
"Since you what?" Gerard whispered.
"I-I came out..." I blushed and hid behind my hair sobbing. He wrapped his arms around me, the familiar warmth from when I was younger.
"I don't care if you're gay Frankie, it's okay." He held me tighter and I cried into his shoulder, wrapping my arms gently around his waist. "I-I've missed you," he confessed.

I nodded too distraught to speak, I would just sound like an idiot anyway, my voice would probably crack. He stroked my hair as he held me, he pulled away once I'd calmed down my sobs. He looked into my eyes and brought my lips to his.

I kissed him. I kissed Gerard Way. And he's my childhood friend, he's ignored me for about two years, but he's a hell of alot older then me.

I didn't even care, he was a good kisser, he knew what he was doing. It was my first kiss and I loved every second of it. Until he pulled away, I looked at him in shock and he smirked.
"We should be practising, come on." He took my hand and pulled me to my feet.
"S-sure," I sighed.

That was one of the worst, yet best, days of my life. It's helped me to where I am today. My Chemical Romance grew, it was a fast expansion from a small town band to touring the world. But things soon got bad, Gerard lost himself and the rest of us spent our time worrying.

He'd liked to drink since high school, we all knew it but none of us had expected it to turn bad. It just got worse and worse, then in summer 2004 things became fucked up. That was when we started to panic, not just about Gerard but about the band and the fans.

WARNING MENTION OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
"GEE! GEE WHERE ARE YOU!?" Mikey yelled. I stood with Ray on the other side of a dark, empty field. It was where we were stopped for the night, we couldn't afford the hotel at the moment. We were just starting to tour in a small van.

We were out searching for Gerard it had been four hours since any of us saw him and I was panicking. I felt lost without Gerard around, he kept me sane and I admired him... I was starting to crush on him. Since he kissed me when I was in high school, we hadn't spoken about it or consulted each other, we pretended it had never happened and that worked for us.

I ran through the tall grass searching I pulled out my phone wondering why none of us had tried this already. I dialled Gerards cell phone and heard it ring. I waited for him to answer anxiously, if he didn't pick up soon I wouldn't sleep tonight. I can't leave him out here alone, he's drunk and vulnerable, and I have no proof but I'm sure he's been taking drugs as well.

He answered the phone slurring. I could hear loud music in the background as he tried to speak. "Gee!?" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Where are you!? I'll come get you, I'm not mad just tell me," I babbled desperately. Mikey ran to my side and I put my phone on speaker.
"F-frankie I love you sososososo muuuucccchhh, that kiss, when you were in high school? It was the b-best kiss I've eveeeeer haaaaddd," He giggled down the phone. My eyes widened and my cheeks reddened.

Mikey was laughing next to me and tears were falling from his eyes at the same time. "Gerard just tell me where you are and I'll come get you!" I ordered.
"Will you gimme a kiss if I tell you?" He giggled.
"No, just tell me." I was close to tears.
"No can do Frankie boy." I started to cry and Mikey took the phone off me.
"Gerard, for fucks sake you've made him cry! Just tell us!" Mikey growled down the phone.
"I'm in a big house by the van," He mumbled.

We ran towards the van trying to find the right house, I heard music and ran towards it. I ran through the door and into the living room. I saw him lying on the sofa with a bong on the table and a needle next to him. Empty bottles surrounded him and I cried quietly.

I ran to his side as fast as I could through the gyrating bodies on the makeshift dance floor. I pulled him to his feet and draped his arm over my shoulders, I put all of his weight onto my back as I lead him out of the house and into the back of the van.
"Frankie I love you!" He gushed and tried to kiss me, I moved away and sat in the corner of the van. I handed him a few bottles of water.
"You need help Gee... You're a mess," I whimpered. "Please get help," I whispered. "For me." I felt my eyes leak as the others piled into the van.
"For y-you." He took my hand and smiled before falling asleep next to me.

He stuck to that. We reminded him the next morning of what he said he would do, and when he realised how shitty he felt he went ahead with it. He got the help he needed, we all managed to settle down into a lifetime of touring the world, we upgraded to a tour bus and travelled together. We adopted a new drummer, Bob. He was a great addition but the band started to fall apart.

Mikey got married to Alicia, the object of his affections since high school, Ray found the perfect girl and that left me and Gerard. I was still massively in love with him whenever we were on tour I was in heaven. Things never got talked about between us and I'm pretty sure Mikey got pissed off with it. His actions one summer in Cali proved that.

I was walking through the hallway in the venue, I was trying to find the toilets and it was taking hours. Okay, it only seemed like hours but I was dying for a pee. I heard a door open to my left and saw Mikey beckon me through. I walked in and he ran out locking the door, I yelled at him and banged on the door.

"MIKEY I NEED TO PEE LEMME OUT!"
"I'm not letting you two out till I hear you making out! The fucking sexual tension is killing me, Ray and Bobbert," he sighed. I looked behind me and saw Gerard smirking and rolling his eyes.
"Not funny, I really need a piss," I sighed.

He took my hand and pulled me into his lap, I blushed and tensed up. He stroked my cheek and I leaned into the touch, I closed my eyes and sighed in content. I felt his lips against mine and his tongue was soon probing my mouth. I pulled away quickly and looked at him blushing.
"Gerard, I'm sick of you doing this.... We have all these... Moments and then we pretend that we never even... I just... It kills me." I mumbled. He looked at me and kissed my forehead.

"It would have been easy to talk about if you'd have brought it up... I didn't want to ruin everything between us..." He smiled and kissed me again.
"I... I love you Gerard..." I looked down and he giggled.
"I love you too Frankie. Always have," I smiled as he attacked my lips again. He tugged the bottom of my shirt up over my head. I blushed as he looked at me, he looked over my chest and licked his lips. "I want you to be mine," He looked up at me and I nodded.

Things started to look up. Gerard is still all mine. The band broke up but that doesn't matter anymore, I have a new band and Gerard is happy just doing his art for a little while. He missed it a lot.

I think we'll always be together.