Always Anyways...

There was no more time for dreams, there was no safe place for my mind to go wandering anymore. I needed to stay clear and prepared, for my position here was not as safe as Taggart made it seem. It was now obvious to me that I was safest here because Alaric finally had what he wanted. I would tame his wishes while he waited for an heir. In the meantime, he would bully my Kingdom and its people while he waited. I was nothing more then the prized cow, penned away safely as they awaited my slaughter. I did not understand all the details of my Father's agreement with this unknown king , but it was clear to me that if my brother Nicolito could not give them an heir they wanted so desperately, it would be my turn to deliver on my father's promises. The very thought chilled me to the bone, and I feared that if I could not deliver an heir, that both me and my Kingdom would be a great danger.

That night Taggart did not return to me, and my fire died out slowly from the lack of wood. My stomach grumbled slightly, but I dared not consider it right now. When morning came, I realized that Taggart's anger kept him from my side. I knew the door was locked, and I was safe, but safety was closely followed by my fear and loneliness that only Taggart's presence could cure. As the day continued, I wrapped myself in a blanket and curled on the tiny bed to keep warm. There were no day dreams, no prayers, and my eyes were locked on the back of the door, watching the rays of the sun dancing across it. Soon the room dimmed again, and I shivered trying to console myself and remain warm.

It was late, when I finally heard the door open. I quickly sat up, and Taggart walked into the room. He was balancing a great armful of wood and my usual bowl of terrible soup, so I jumped up to help him. I took the bowl from his unsteady hand and smiled slightly, "I am glad to see you." He huffed and did not answer, as he went over to the fire, grumbling to himself as he worked through relighting it. I dared not speak, and only sat at the fireside, as the small flames finally began to warm me again. As I ate, I hoped that he would talk to me, and his anger would subside. Finally he threw himself into the seat in front of the fire with another great huff.

Once I finished my soup, I murmured softly, "Taggart...." He turned toward me, still glaring. "What does the Princess command of me now?" His words cut, and it hurt as intended. I tilted my head, "I command nothing...I wish only to talk." He snickered in my face, "Then talk little Princess..." his eyes turned from me toward the fire, "...tell me how innocent you really are." I was stunned, it was not like him to be so cruel to me. "Please listen..." I started but he nearly pounced, leaning forward, inches from my face. "Listen? Listen to what?!" he snarled, and it was then I could smell alcohol on his breath. I have never seen Taggart drunk in the entire time he has been with me. Something was grossly wrong, and fear took a hold of me. If Taggart was not willing or unable to protect me, I had no one left. He realized I was wounded, and went in for the kill. "I ain't bringing your lover to your bed tonight. I made sure he rode back to the camp." I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes, but I would not give him the dignity of crying. Instead, from my shame rose anger, and I stood up quickly. I hesitated only a moment before I reached out and slapped him pointedly in the face. Taggart did not even flinch when I struck him, but he lashed out, snatching my wrist, squeezing it tightly. Before I could protest, he sprung from his chair, and as if we were dancing, he stepped into my hips and spun me around. His full weight had me pinned against the wall, my wrist pushed back against the wall as well. He just seethed at me with wild eyes, and I could feel the heat of his breath on my face.

Something strange rose in my belly. Instead of fighting back, instead of thrashing or begging for mercy, instead of any defense, I felt an odd tingle rise through my core and spread out to the very tips of my body. My mind quickly reacted and the overwhelming desire came through that I wished he would kiss me at this precise moment. I froze at the unknown emotions taking over me. My lack of response surprised him, and his eyes searched deep into mine, as if trying to find my darkest secrets. The sweet twinge of alcohol on his breath tickled my nose. I relaxed and let him hold me there without recourse, "Taggart...How could you think all the worse rumors of me, when I have never once believed a negative word spoken of you, even by Woolsey?" His anger was tamed by that, and he released my wrist slowly as my thought seemed to worm inside and work its way through his body. "You only think that way because Nicolous told you this, and you trust him so blindly." His words should have sounded harsh, but they were instead defeated. I shook my head back at him, and felt my body arching closer to him. "No, I am not blind. For I can see in the dark, and I saw a part of you that few, if any, have ever seen. When you came to me, soothing and whispering words through my feverous sickness, that was not my brother's assassin. I saw the real man that hides behind the hired killer." I felt Taggart soften even more, but still he resisted and shook his head as if he struggled against the sway of my words. I quieted my voice even more, "Gannon was never my lover. He shared his desire to claim my hand when I was still a young Princess. My father denied him and I was married to my king and he to his royal wife. Our history was denied ages ago, time cannot be reclaimed. We both know that." Taggart's eyes finally looked back at me, sad and almost tired, "Never?" I shook my head, "Never." He blinked and I felt his arm slide around to my back, holding me now as my body melted in his arms.

I searched his eyes, "I need to hear you say it....do you trust me?" I whispered. Taggart nodded, "I have always trusted you," he whispered back. Our roles were reversed for once, and I laid my head against his chest. He held me tenderly there, and I warmed inside his arms. I closed my eyes and took in his familiar smell of leather and fresh dirt, sweetened by ale. A sigh escaped my lips and the fear subsided for a while, as Taggart held me inside his safe protection once again.