Always Anyways...

I awoke the following morning, warm in Taggart's arms as he rubbed my head, "Jane....my Jane. I need you to wake up." I struggled against the heavy sway of sleep and comfort of his arms. But finally I relented and shifted my head to see his eyes only inches from mine. "Jane...its nearly morning, and I do not want you to be sleeping when he comes. But you need to tell me as much as you can before you go." I blinked back at him and nodded, "Who is in charge?" He asked, and I told him it was Beremud and that I was placed in the manor's kitchen yesterday. Taggart sighed and shifted a little, "Beremud is Prince Alaric's captain at arms. He is second in command of the men. He has never liked me and felt that I threatened his place here. There will be little you can do to make him fall in Alaric's eyes for Alaric prides himself in men who are brutal and ruthless. But he will also know better then to cross Alaric directly. Do you understand?" I nodded to him. "Do not speak of trying to help me, or asking for anything I might need. He will most likely refuse you and make you all the more miserable for it. If you take the chance to run, you have to...."I put my fingers to his lips and quickly spoke, "Do not speak of it, for I will not leave without you. If I do, they will kill you." Taggart gently moved my fingers away, "You have to be sure you can make a clear escape, for if anyone else catches you, they could claim you from me. It is important that you know that." I nodded, "I know...you claimed me for my protection. I know Taggart."

He nodded and in an odd display of affection, he pressed my hand against his cheek, as if it soothed him to feel my touch. "My Jane...." he whispered in spite of his usual stoic demeanor. I looked into his eyes, "Am I? Am I yours? For when I left the Lord Tiernan's castle, I needed to break free because my heart was wounded." Taggart's eyes looked at me with puzzlement, "Wounded? I don't understand." I smiled sadly, feeling overly foolish for feeling even the tiniest twinge of jealousy. "The maid, she worked in the castle. I know she caught your eye." Taggart actually laughed and I cringed away from him, thinking he laughed at my jealousy. But he put his arm around me and pulled me back firmly, "She was a cover, so I could get closer to you." He shook his head and then smiled weakly. "Always to serve you, I have never had my eyes far from you." I bit my lip as this entire conversation struck my heart in a very powerful way. Gannon was always just a dream, but Taggart was something completely forbidden. But look how we have been brought together. I have not slept in the arms of a man since my Lord, who I can only guess still curses my name for all that has befallen him.

We did not have time to continue any such conversation, as I heard the lock of the door behind me. I knew enough to scramble away from sharing a bed with Taggart, and barely got to my feet before the door widely swung open. Beremud eyed me with a dark look, and he seemed already in a bad mood, "Today, you work all day. Laundry, cooking and serving the men." I nodded obediently, and he swooped in, snatching me by the arm again despite my willingness to go with him. I managed a quick look back at Taggart who smiled back at me sadly as the door slammed shut.

I had a miserable morning of serving the men left over stew, and battled against them and their horrible moods, no doubt still drunk from the night before. It was quickly after that Beremud shoved me back into the manor kitchen, nearly tossing me on the floor. "Start preparing for laundry." He barked before the door slammed in my face. I honestly have no sense of how laundry is done. I only know the glimpses I have seen, of women standing over steaming pots with large paddles. I hoped that Madge would come soon, that she might help me with yet another task. In the meantime, I found the largest cauldron I could and hauled enough water to fill it before setting it over a roaring fire. I paced the morning away as the water boiled, and I waited for Madge.

Soon enough she came bursting in as she did the day before. "Child, there you are!" She came straight toward me this time and took my face in her hands. I nearly backed away from her, but there was something kind in her eyes that reminded me of one of my nursemaids from childhood. "Are you hurt? Did they harm you last night?" I shook my head, "I am no worse for wear good Lady." She nodded, "Very well then, off to work we go." She motioned toward the fires, "What is all this?" I tilted my head, "Laundry, but I fear I do not know even the first step how." She nodded, "Very well, something else I will learn you. Come now, let's be started with that dress!" It took some effort, but she coaxed me out of my only dress and we laundered that first before we started on the rest from the manor house. Soon we were both cooking and cleaning at the same time, and my hands never stopped working. But the time it came to serve the men, my dress was dry enough and my hands were raw and cracked from the day of work. Madge slid some grease toward me, "Rub this on your hands before you fall asleep, it will ease your skin. Be well child, I will see you tomorrow."

Despite my efforts all day, I had to serve the men all night. And it was another long night of arguing and singing, drinking and shoving. Beremud's eyes followed me endlessly, and I feared he might have other plans for me. But luckily, well after midnight I was shoved back into my dark hole of a room, and locked in with Taggart. I hurried to start another fresh fire for him, before my hands rushed to check his wounds. But Taggart was awake, and clearly waiting for me because he took my hands as soon as I knelt at his bedside, "Jane....my Jane. You will not tend to me tonight. I have already seen to all these wounds. Lay down and rest now. You have only a few hours." I looked up sadly into his eyes and relented, crawling again into the tiny space on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me as I rested my head on his shoulder. Tonight we did not speak, and my sleep was dark and heavy from exhaustion. All I know is that Taggart's arms never let me go, and once again I was safe enough to sleep.