Always Anyways...

More days past, the same as always. But Alaric was growing restless in more ways than one. With no answer from my father, he seemed more possessive over me then ever. He would now greet me each night with a kiss on the back of the hand, and he would often lay his hand over my arm as if there was some confusion as to whose side I was sitting along. Sometimes he would even take hold and finger his family crest around my neck. It was those nights the medallion would feel even heavier, and I dreaded the wait of word from my father. As always his way, even Taggart refused to give me any information as to my father's plan, only insisting that there was one, and I was to remain steadfast in my course.

However, I could sense the shift in the air, even if I did not realize it at the time. Each night, Alaric seemed to keep me at his side longer and longer. Often I would be completely asleep in my chair before he would resign to dismiss me. My back would ache after sitting still for so long, and headaches would come from such rough sleep under the noise of his men. But I said nothing of my suffering in order to keep him happy. However, the night came that I again fell asleep in my chair, yet I was awoken to the feeling of being carried in someone's arms. I was held close and tight, and I had no fear of being dropped. I rested my head against the strong shoulder, and settled myself in my hazy mind to relax as Taggart carried my back. However, after being carried up the stairs, I realized that there was something scratching my cheek, now to the point of making it feel raw. It was not a collar... it was hair, a beard in fact, and Taggart was always clean shaven. I gasped in panic and quickly jolted awake, only to feel the large arms around me grow even tighter, nearly to the point of making it hard to breath. "Settle now Princess," came the gruff voice of Alaric, who was in fact the one carrying me. I froze in his arms, and my eyes darted around in panick of where he was carrying me. I knew this hallway, luckily it was heading toward my own rooms. But then I felt my heart race with worry if he planned to join me inside. Had the night had finally come that would take this rouse beyond my control? I could hear footsteps behind us, and I peeked over his wolf fur to see Taggart following as he always does. He held up a finger to his lips and urged me to settle myself. I struggled to follow his encouragement.

I felt light headed and flighty, wishing suddenly that I had wings that would fly me away. Perhaps I am one of the lucky few noble women that has never been taken against her will. I did not know if I could bear such a wound without crumbling into dust. Once we reached my door, Taggart stepped forward to open it and Alaric walked over and set me softly down on my bed. He looked me over for a moment, as I gazed up at him. I tried my best not to appear as fearful as I felt, but I am not so sure I accomplished it. Alaric reached down, and roughly stroked my hair with same touch as he would stroke his horse. "You are a beauty." he said simply before sliding his hand around the back of my neck, lifting me up. My hand curled tightly around the quilt as his tight lips kissed me forcefully, and with no tender emotion. I forced myself to remain there as he kissed me deeper and felt my mind scrambling with terror.

Finally Alaric pulled away and peered firmly into my eyes, "I am growing tired of your father's delay. Tomorrow you will write to him, and tell him how anxious and willing you are to be my bride. You will write what is necessary to encourage him toward our wedding." I nodded obediently, willing to do anything to prevent him from staying in my chamber. "Of course my Prince," and it took great skill to make my voice answer back softly. He smiled wickedly at me, "By the next full moon, you will be my wife. Even without your father's blessing. My people have always believed the full moon brought a man many sons. And I will see a son growing in your belly." I felt tonight's dinner rising in my stomach, as he reached down and patted where my womb would be. "Then I will prepare a dress for that night." I said with a voice that sounded nothing like my own. He nodded and turned back to Taggart, who responded silently with a nod in return. "I bid you a good night Princess." Alaric said almost with a snicker before he finally walked out of my room and down the hall. My eyes widened and instantly went to Taggart, who once again held a finger to his lips. "Let me add more logs to your fire my Princess, is there anything else you need tonight?" He tilted his head when I was silent with fear and motioned for me to respond, "No, nothing more. But do see that Madge attends to me first thing in the morning." He threw a log on my fire before he held up three fingers and slipped out of my room, locking the door like it was any another night. I did not know if he meant three minutes, three hours, three days or three o'clock. But knowing I had to wait for Taggart's comfort sent me into a complete panick. I scrambled to the window to see a half moon already...it would be a mere few weeks before a full moon. I wept into my pillow to muffle the sound until I actually did wretch up my dinner. Afterwards I crawled before the fireplace and curled up there, feeling soothed by the lapping warmth of the flames.

It was later that I felt hand softly sliding up my back and pulling me against a warm body. This time it was Taggart and I clung to him in desperation. "My Jane, my gentle little dove, I will protect you. Do not fear, I knew he would say this. This is what your father was waiting for. Do not fear, he will never take you. Never. I will kill him first." I wrapped my arms even tighter around his waist, my fingers grabbing against his tunic, "Never leave me Taggart, never leave me here." I looked up at him, "Tell my father if he cannot come I will throw myself from the walls." Taggart rubbed my face and did not try to fight me on this tonight. "You must think of Nicolito now. You must think of how to protect him. Do not let the fear overtake you. Think." I searched his eyes, feeling exhausted and weak, "But there would be no love with a man such as that, no tenderness. No kindness or care. He would use and abuse me for his own ends. Nicolito knows my heart cannot bear this...especially not when it longs for the warm touch of another."

Taggart looked puzzled for a moment, and did not speak right away. Finally he did, "You would wait for him?" I nodded immediately, "Yes," I responded softly. He asked again, "You would wait endlessly for him?" I replied again, "Yes...I would." Taggart nearly spit out, "But he...." It took my mind too long to realize that Taggart did not know we were speaking of two different people. I sat up in his arms, interrupting him, "Not him....you." I whispered softly. Taggart's eyes sparkled in a way I have never seen. Perhaps in my exhaustion I dreamed this, but I truly believe I am correct. "Do you not realize it is you??" I whispered more. Still he remained quiet, and the only thing moving was his hand against my face, his thumb gently rubbing it. At first, I feared he would walk out without an answer, but my answer came in such a sudden way. In a flash, Taggart's lips were upon mine, warm and soft, wanting and longing. I felt his mouth open and taste mine which sent my body into wonderful shivers. I desperately kissed him in return, wanting to feel this moment for so long. Our bodies drew together, and I could feel the heat of his skin when we touched, and all other thoughts drifted into nothingness. There was only Taggart and me. When he pulled away, he gazed into my eyes with a fierce determination, pressing his forehead against mine. "My dearest Jane.....always lift up your head Princess, for if not the crown falls. The crown must never fall." It was as if he was a magician, and was feeding me pure strength straight from his heart. "I will," I murmured back, "Always." Taggart scooped me in my arms, laying me back in bed, before covering me over. "My Jane...." he whispered before kissing me softly and stepping out of my room. I could only smile before my eyes easily closed to the rest of the night.