Always Anyways...

I was still swimming in my wonderful emotions of Taggart when the end began. I did not realize it until the events were already in motion. My faithful Madge came to spend time with me in the mornings, as has become the routine. She was brushing my hair, gentle and soft when she murmured to me, “Your guard strongly suggested that the Princess wear the blue dress today. Do you agree?” I peeked back up at her, “My guard? Taggart?” Madge shrugged, “I believe that to be his name. He mentioned it to me on my way in, that I was to encourage you. Perhaps your Lord is in a foul mood today? Your blue dress does seem to cheer him.” I nodded, always trusting in Taggart's wisdom, “Then the blue dress Madge. With my wedding a little more then a week away, it would be good to make my Lord happy.” She rubbed my hair gently as she began to braid it, “I know this wedding does not make you happy child, but perhaps love can grow. It is not as impossible as you might believe.” I wished I could believe Madge's words, yet my heart knew the truth of my situation. Only my father could save me from this fate.

I dressed in my blue gown, and gazed longingly out the window until Taggart came to fetch me for Alaric. Taggart was a little earlier then usual and bowed before me as he entered. “Good Evening Princess.” he greeted me, as we played this endless game of strangers in public. “I have heard of a way that you might please your Lord tonight. It seems there is a certain wine in the cellar that might please him more then normal. Should you like that I take you down and show you?” I was confused by the point of this, but I nodded as if I had in fact requested this very thing, “Oh yes, absolutely. I want to see my Lord happy in the days before his wedding.” Taggart nodded with an ever growing smile I knew well and motioned for me to follow him. He led me through hallways I did not know, before he opened a doorway which had steps going down. After Taggart handed me a torch, I followed him down the steps to a dimly lit cellar, with rows and rows of jars, roots, barrels and jugs. Clearly this was the main storage cellar for the large manor house, that now went largely unused. It was silent, with the exception of softly dripping walls and tiny rodents scurrying about. Taggart led me down a few rows before he motioned with his hand, “Here, this ale is new and the barrel has been untouched. It is rumored to be the favorite of the former lord of this manor.” I nodded to him as the torchlight flickered against his face. “But Taggart, why am I here?” I spoke frankly now. His wicked smile once again returned. “Tonight we will set the wheels in motion to be rid of Beremud.” I tilted my head, “I do not understand, how do we accomplish that?” Before he would continued, Taggart stepped closer to me, “I need to hear you say it...” He reached out and caressed my hair, “Do you trust me?” I looked up into his eyes, “Always Taggart, as you have won my heart, I trust you.” His eyes softened for a moment, “Your words pain me to offer this to you, but it is the only way.” I steeled my nerves for what he was about to say, “Then speak and know my true heart.” I whispered back. He leaned even closer, sliding an arm around my waist, pulling me close as he whispered his plan into my ear. It was not something beyond me, if I could bear the beginning and keep my will steady. My only fear was that Taggart would be punished for what we would fake to transpire, but he assured me over and over that he would not. Despite my reservations, I agreed.

Taggart paused only to gaze into my eyes, “Are you ready, my precious dove?” I nodded before I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the face of the man who possessed my heart as the deeds were committed. I felt his lips softly press against mine before he pulled away and paused for the briefest of moments. It felt like an eternity and I pictured Beremud in my mind and not my loyal Taggart. At first I felt his hand slide up my thigh before my dress ripped violently. Next I gasped as he clawed at my bodice, his nails scratching my skin as he tore the dress back. He ruined my carefully braided hair and threw me back against the slimy damp wall, holding me there. I could feel the moldy dampness soaking into the fabric. He paused for a moment, listening for what he wanted to hear. Even through my emotions I could hear it too, the voices of men far away, coming closer. There were men coming down into the cellar for their own ale just as he planned. Taggart slammed me against the wall once more before as his voice pierced the air, “Now scream Jane, scream loudly...” he murmured. I took in a full chest of air, just as I felt a huge smack against my cheek as he ripped Alaric's chain from my neck. I gasped in pain instead, as my knees suddenly felt weak. But the surge of pain caused me to scream, “HELP!! HELP ME!!” I opened my eyes to see Taggart no longer in front of me. I struggled to stay to my feet as the blow made me dizzy and the dimness was disorientating. “HELP!!” I screamed again and I took a wobbly step forward. I heard footsteps thundering through the rows, and finally a face appeared in the dim light of the torch. He looked at me in shock, “Princess Jane?” Beremud said confused. “No...no please. No, do not hurt me!! PLEASE STOP!!” I screamed like a woman possessed. He put up his hands defenseless as I slowly moved toward him. I could hear more footsteps getting closer. “Beremud STOP!!” I said louder before I collapsed myself in his arms. He caught me confused and bewildered just as other faces came around the row. “Please stop!!” I whimpered this time and Beremud threw me back away from him. The men surged forward, several grabbing him as it was Taggart who reappeared and caught me up in his arms. “You attacked the Princess?! Alaric's bride?!! Are you mad!!” he screamed. Beremud looked back at Taggart, “I found her like that!! She is fucking crazy!!!” Taggart threw his cloak over me, “You fucking bastard!! Take him to Alaric!!” he barked and the other men dragged him out. Taggart looked down at me and I could see pain in his eyes. He hated putting his hands on me in such a fashion, even if it was for my own protection. “Will you ever forgive me?” He whispered softly in my ear as he carried me carefully up the stairs. “Beremud did this...not you.” I repeated back, forcing my mind to believe my own lie.

Taggart carried me into the main dining hall, and I could smell the stew that Madge was finishing. The gentle smell of baked bread was coming through the doorway as well. Next I heard the struggles of Beremud as he was forcibly placed before Alaric, “What the nine hells in this?!!” Alaric boomed. One of the men answered him, “We found him attacking thePrincess.” Alaric was silent for a moment and that is when I peeked out from Taggart's arms, “Princess Jane?? My future wife?” Alaric clarified as if he was in disbelief. Taggart stopped before him and spoke first, “Your bride wanted to fetch you a special wine the cook spoke of as a present for you tonight my Lord. As she was searching for the barrel, I heard her screaming. We came upon the Captain attempting to rape her.” He spoke plainly. Alaric swept his arm wide and everyone backed up, leaving Beremud on his knees in front of Alaric as he walked over toward us. Taggart carefully set me on my feet and I peeked out at Alaric like wounded rabbit, “My Lord, please protect me from the evils of your men.” Alaric remained quiet as he reached out and roughly pulled the cloak away from me. He took in my ruined dress, my filthy body, the raw scratches on my neck, my messy hair, the broken chain in my hands and the few tears that rolled down my cheeks.

Alaric took my chin in his hand firmly, “Did this man put his hands on my bride?” he asked. I responded with a cracking voice, “Yes my Lord. Do you not claim me? Do you not protect me as your future bride?” Alaric looked down and took the broken chain from my hands, “Yes, on my father's name I swear it. You belong to me and only me.” I bit my lip as I looked back at him, “If it had not been for Taggart and the men, he would have succeeded.” Alaric's eyes flared as he looked at Taggart, “Why were you not her shadow??!!” Taggart lowered his head, “The Princess was in the cellar, wandering around rows of wine. How could I have ever thought the Captain would be lying in wait? How could I know that he would try to take her against her will, against your will my Lord?” It was not like Taggart to be so humble and capitulating toward another man, but in this case it was necessary. Alaric swung mightily and struck him hard, sending out a spray of blood. “See another man never places a single finger against her skin again. If so, bring me their hand.” Taggart wiped the blood from his face with his sleeve, “As you wish, my Lord.”

Then Alaric turned toward Beremud, “You touched my bride?? You would defile her under my nose??” Beremud pleaded innocence, and Alaric only got louder in his questions. Despite how much Beremud denied it, I saw Alaric's anger rising more and more. Soon his hand flew to his hilt, and the broadsword swung out. Beremud's arm dropped to the floor as the man screamed out in mortal pain. I shuttered at the violent response. Beremud denied again, and lost his other arm. Witnessing such torture was horrifying, but I forced myself to remain on my feet and not run. Beremud's screams echoed through the hall as Alaric reached for his neck, “No one touches my bride....no one.” Lastly, Alaric lifted his sword high, and terribly slow pressed it into Beremud's body. The man was skewered by Alaric's broadsword, choking and gasping until his body went limp. Alaric swiftly pulled back, and nearly sliced the body in half as if it was nothing more then soft bread.

Blood poured out as entrails and pieces of bone dumped on the floor. My heavy legs finally moved back, tiptoeing away from the growing pool of blood that was inching closer. Alaric spun toward me, blood dripping down his body and the shaft of his sword. I froze in place as he reached out his hand toward me. I do not know how I managed it, but I moved toward him, blood soaking into the edges of my dress as I placed my tiny pale hand into his large bloody palm. He squeezed it tight, “My bride, you will never go unavenged. I will remove his cock and feed it to the pigs. I will toss his body to the wild animals and let them feast on his remains. But no man will ever have you again. You belong to me, and soon you will know I am your only husband.” His words chilled me to the bone, and I feared the day he would be able to read hearts. For if he knew my truth, I would be forced to watch even worse be done to Taggart. I nodded to his words and he let out a mighty war cry throwing his hands into the air. I felt dizzy and sick, as if this was some terrible nightmare. Gore surrounded me everywhere, my scratches burned as the sweet smell of blood soaked into my skin. The dead eyes of Beremud looked up from the ground, and I had to accept that my lies caused a man to be tortured. Alaric wiped off his sword before grabbing me in his arms, and setting me on his lap like a prize. There he bounced and jostled me as he downed cup after cup of wine. I felt numb and empty, as if my soul had fled from my chest for the horrible deeds I had done. The sweetness of Taggart's kiss just a few nights ago seemed dream-like and intangible. This nightmare had become my world, and perhaps was now my punishment. Alaric grabbed at me and held me too tight, and finally I whimpered in pain unable to bear another moment. He quickly looked at me, “Take the cook and see your wounds are tended to. I cannot have my bride unfit for my bed on our wedding. I need you strong. See that you are healed.” He motioned to Taggart and I was finally released for the night, far earlier then usual. I managed to walk from the hall before I swooned and Taggart scooped me in my arms. “This poor child....” I heard Madge say.

As the darkness and quiet surrounded me, I felt as if I was finally flying away forever. The soothing warmth of a fire consoled me, as Madge took the ruined dress away and tenderly looked after my wounds. She redressed me in my nightgown before putting a large warm blanket around me. “Come now child, look at me. Come now!” Her voice directed me. Slowly I moved my eyes to meet hers. “Men are cruel and horrible beasts. But you are lucky that your Lord claims you, protects you. Men who force their way are rarely kind.” I looked at her as gasps escaped my lips and I immediately sobbed. She put her arms around me, “Alright then....cry if you must child. The day is soon over and tomorrow is a new one. I will warm some ale for you, to help you sleep and not have nightmares.” The ale did drag me under to sleep, but my nightmares came regardless. Over and over again I watched Beremud be tortured. And sometimes the face changed and it was Taggart instead. I felt fractured and broken, and I feared my punishment would only worsen as the days came closer. How I wished I was a little dove that could slide through the bars on my windows and fly away! The end was near, and the worse had not even reached my heart yet.