Status: In progress but looking for feedback. The Prologue has been trimmed! More chapters coming soon :)
Always Anyways...
Royal Camp
It was dark and my eyes flickered restlessly, as my mind tried to remember what the dark vile kept stealing away. I rolled my head over and saw a single guard, standing at the end of my bed, staring into the fire. He heard me rustle and turned slowly toward me with a smile, “Greetings Princess.” The face of Kenrick was soft and relaxed, as his sword hung loosely at his hip. There was something different about his appearance that took me a minute to realize. He was not dressed as a knight any longer, but dressed as one of the many Lords that frequent my father's court. He had a royal sash over one shoulder and a fine embroidered cloak hanging down his back. I blinked confused, “Greetings My Lord Kenrick....” I paused but I could not help continuing, “I must say...you look different. Are you no longer a knight?” I asked directly, thinking that perhaps my mind was the one confused. Lord Kenrick smiled sadly, “No my Princess...I am not.” His voice hesitated, “I am no longer able....” he murmured before his voice trailed off.
As he unfolded his arms, only then did I realized and finally see what he was very clever at disguising. He was missing the lower half of his left arm. I gasped in shock, “Kenrick....no....” I mumbled, and tears filled my eyes, for I knew exactly the battle that caused such a loss. He shook his head, “Do not be sorry my Princess. You had no role in this.” I nodded, “I did...I must....you lost your arm defending me.” Kenrick came to my bedside, kneeling down, “I will not have you apologize to me. I took this service, I volunteered for I knew the importance of what I was doing. I regret nothing.” Big hot tears tumbled down my face, “It is my fault. Everyone who comes near me, everyone who dares be close is hurt. I hurt all of those who risk being near me. I am cursed...it is true. You have lost this, and now your cousin. All because of me. I am cursed.” I turned my face from him, sorrowful. His voice continued softly, “Your father rewarded me for my service. My lands continue to flourish and I still serve your father faithfully. I represent him as one of his lead military strategists. Besides my Princess, I am right handed. I can still hold a sword, just not a shield. In fact it has made me a stronger fighter.” He chuckled for a moment, “There is but one thing....I can no longer compete in the jousts. Yet what a blessing for I did nothing but embarrass myself. What a terrible jouster I was! I would always come in last!” He teased, trying to lift my spirits but I did not have the heart for it. So he continued, “Please Princess....please do not wish this on yourself. You are not cursed.” I turned back to him, gently wiping my own tears away. “How I have damaged your family...look how much I have taken from you.” He shook his head, “This was not of your making. This was Alaric, and his forceful ways. No one in the kingdom would release a soul like you to a beast like him.” I blinked at Kenrick, finding it so easy to talk to him. He was always supportive and strove to find ways to please me. Still it was hard to believe those words. “I am no longer worth the kingdom what my father would pay for me. He loves me as any man loves his daughter, but as a Princess I am worthless.” Kenrick shakes his head, “Myself, your personal guards, none of us have ever believed that. Those are Alaric's words, those are his poisons. I will not see them poison your lips by speaking them.”
I searched his eyes and saw only earnest conviction there. “You have always been so good to me, thoughtful and kind.” He smiled, “I will never be any other way to you my Princess.” I smiled back at him sadly, “My Lord Kenrick, I thought you were gone....I had prayed for your soul. For your quick passage into heaven. I thought I would return only to faithfully lay flowers on your grave.” Kenrick shook his head, “Do not think me so easily dispatched my Princess. Taggart signaled me when he broke into the fray. I saw him take you from your carriage and ride away to safety. We needed only to fight long enough to see you safe. Then we fled back to Woolsey's camp. There was only one guard we lost that night, the rest of us have been working for your return. In fact, your rescue came at the hands of Taggart's information. He told us of your bravery against Alaric, how you lured his men into trusting you. How you saw his main captain betrayed...” He must have seen the bewilderment in my eyes and he chuckled, “Did you not know you were the key to your own rescue? Your father has spoke of how impressed he was with your cunning and wit to outsmart a man like Alaric with your wiles. Look upon your deeds with fresh eyes my Princess. You are a force of impressive stature.”
His words struck me and was grateful for them. They began to heal my heart that was so greatly fractured by all the events. “I wish only I could have been cunning enough to save Lord Gannon. His wife....his baby....” My voice cracked with sadness. Kenrick looked down for a moment, “His wife bore a son while you were captive my Lady. His name and his legacy lives on. My father will see his wife well cared for, have no worries of that.” I nodded feeling only a twinge of relief. “Despite how hard I tried, my heart still stole her husband from her rightful arms. That black mark with stain my soul before God.” Kenrick shakes his head, “I cannot speak with the wisdom of priests or monks. But there will never be a day I can believe that gentle love would ever leave a black mark against one's soul.”
Kenrick's words seemed true. Was there nothing harmful in my love for Gannon? For we both knew it was a dream long gone. Despite our wishes, we could never have acted on it and sought to maintain our honor. But guilt consumed me nonetheless. It was hard to let go of the belief that Lord Gannon died because of me. Not because I was only his Princess, but because he held me to close in his heart. Our lips had touched, and I knew the taste of his mouth. His arms held me tight in his rescue and I longed to be there forever. Was that truly innocent or will we be forced to confess our sins before God? I have many sins, but this one seemed the most grievous of them all. I nodded to Kenrick but the feelings did not settle into my chest.
Lord Kenrick continued, “Your father has brought a traveling carriage. We can bring you back in comfort if you feel able to travel the distance. As much as the King wishes you safely behind his walls, he also wants to see Alaric carefully boarded in his very best dungeon cell.” That broke me from my thoughts, “Alaric is alive?!” Kenrick nods, “Indeed, for he is being held prisoner in the middle of the camp. And insists on shouting loudly to the great annoyance of the regiment. They men finally bound and gagged him for a peaceful night's sleep.” I could not resist the question, “And Taggart? Has he returned?” Kenrick shook his head, “We have seen no sign of him my Princess. He is known to fade into the shadows and reappear at times that please him. He is notoriously hard to keep track of. I am sure when he is ready, he will resurface again. Such is his nature.” I reached for Kenrick, “But there was no unclaimed body? None?” Kenrick shook his head again, “None that would fit Taggart, I assure you. He is a man of many lives my Princess. He is one that you never waste a worry over, trust me. Some whisper that he is immortal.” He snorted with amusement, clearly not believing such fairy tales. I remembered Taggart's last words, and realize now that they were most certainly a goodbye. But for how long? How long would we remain apart after all those days of being so closely pressed together. I longed for his comfort, if nothing else his presence, so that I knew he was safe and well.
As he unfolded his arms, only then did I realized and finally see what he was very clever at disguising. He was missing the lower half of his left arm. I gasped in shock, “Kenrick....no....” I mumbled, and tears filled my eyes, for I knew exactly the battle that caused such a loss. He shook his head, “Do not be sorry my Princess. You had no role in this.” I nodded, “I did...I must....you lost your arm defending me.” Kenrick came to my bedside, kneeling down, “I will not have you apologize to me. I took this service, I volunteered for I knew the importance of what I was doing. I regret nothing.” Big hot tears tumbled down my face, “It is my fault. Everyone who comes near me, everyone who dares be close is hurt. I hurt all of those who risk being near me. I am cursed...it is true. You have lost this, and now your cousin. All because of me. I am cursed.” I turned my face from him, sorrowful. His voice continued softly, “Your father rewarded me for my service. My lands continue to flourish and I still serve your father faithfully. I represent him as one of his lead military strategists. Besides my Princess, I am right handed. I can still hold a sword, just not a shield. In fact it has made me a stronger fighter.” He chuckled for a moment, “There is but one thing....I can no longer compete in the jousts. Yet what a blessing for I did nothing but embarrass myself. What a terrible jouster I was! I would always come in last!” He teased, trying to lift my spirits but I did not have the heart for it. So he continued, “Please Princess....please do not wish this on yourself. You are not cursed.” I turned back to him, gently wiping my own tears away. “How I have damaged your family...look how much I have taken from you.” He shook his head, “This was not of your making. This was Alaric, and his forceful ways. No one in the kingdom would release a soul like you to a beast like him.” I blinked at Kenrick, finding it so easy to talk to him. He was always supportive and strove to find ways to please me. Still it was hard to believe those words. “I am no longer worth the kingdom what my father would pay for me. He loves me as any man loves his daughter, but as a Princess I am worthless.” Kenrick shakes his head, “Myself, your personal guards, none of us have ever believed that. Those are Alaric's words, those are his poisons. I will not see them poison your lips by speaking them.”
I searched his eyes and saw only earnest conviction there. “You have always been so good to me, thoughtful and kind.” He smiled, “I will never be any other way to you my Princess.” I smiled back at him sadly, “My Lord Kenrick, I thought you were gone....I had prayed for your soul. For your quick passage into heaven. I thought I would return only to faithfully lay flowers on your grave.” Kenrick shook his head, “Do not think me so easily dispatched my Princess. Taggart signaled me when he broke into the fray. I saw him take you from your carriage and ride away to safety. We needed only to fight long enough to see you safe. Then we fled back to Woolsey's camp. There was only one guard we lost that night, the rest of us have been working for your return. In fact, your rescue came at the hands of Taggart's information. He told us of your bravery against Alaric, how you lured his men into trusting you. How you saw his main captain betrayed...” He must have seen the bewilderment in my eyes and he chuckled, “Did you not know you were the key to your own rescue? Your father has spoke of how impressed he was with your cunning and wit to outsmart a man like Alaric with your wiles. Look upon your deeds with fresh eyes my Princess. You are a force of impressive stature.”
His words struck me and was grateful for them. They began to heal my heart that was so greatly fractured by all the events. “I wish only I could have been cunning enough to save Lord Gannon. His wife....his baby....” My voice cracked with sadness. Kenrick looked down for a moment, “His wife bore a son while you were captive my Lady. His name and his legacy lives on. My father will see his wife well cared for, have no worries of that.” I nodded feeling only a twinge of relief. “Despite how hard I tried, my heart still stole her husband from her rightful arms. That black mark with stain my soul before God.” Kenrick shakes his head, “I cannot speak with the wisdom of priests or monks. But there will never be a day I can believe that gentle love would ever leave a black mark against one's soul.”
Kenrick's words seemed true. Was there nothing harmful in my love for Gannon? For we both knew it was a dream long gone. Despite our wishes, we could never have acted on it and sought to maintain our honor. But guilt consumed me nonetheless. It was hard to let go of the belief that Lord Gannon died because of me. Not because I was only his Princess, but because he held me to close in his heart. Our lips had touched, and I knew the taste of his mouth. His arms held me tight in his rescue and I longed to be there forever. Was that truly innocent or will we be forced to confess our sins before God? I have many sins, but this one seemed the most grievous of them all. I nodded to Kenrick but the feelings did not settle into my chest.
Lord Kenrick continued, “Your father has brought a traveling carriage. We can bring you back in comfort if you feel able to travel the distance. As much as the King wishes you safely behind his walls, he also wants to see Alaric carefully boarded in his very best dungeon cell.” That broke me from my thoughts, “Alaric is alive?!” Kenrick nods, “Indeed, for he is being held prisoner in the middle of the camp. And insists on shouting loudly to the great annoyance of the regiment. They men finally bound and gagged him for a peaceful night's sleep.” I could not resist the question, “And Taggart? Has he returned?” Kenrick shook his head, “We have seen no sign of him my Princess. He is known to fade into the shadows and reappear at times that please him. He is notoriously hard to keep track of. I am sure when he is ready, he will resurface again. Such is his nature.” I reached for Kenrick, “But there was no unclaimed body? None?” Kenrick shook his head again, “None that would fit Taggart, I assure you. He is a man of many lives my Princess. He is one that you never waste a worry over, trust me. Some whisper that he is immortal.” He snorted with amusement, clearly not believing such fairy tales. I remembered Taggart's last words, and realize now that they were most certainly a goodbye. But for how long? How long would we remain apart after all those days of being so closely pressed together. I longed for his comfort, if nothing else his presence, so that I knew he was safe and well.