Always Anyways...

The days have passed into typical familiarity. The work of the castle never ceases, as does the decisions that are required of the Princess Regent. I must admit that each day I anxiously await a reply from Alaric's father. As each night I pray that it was enough to secure Nicolito's safety. Its Kenrick's confidence that keeps my spirits bolstered and I continue to believe that my father did everything in his power to see my favorite brother safe.

Perhaps it is my hidden worries that have affected my health of late. For I have been battling with a strange affliction that comes and goes at will. It first happened the night following the ride with Lord Kenrick. In the dark, I twisted in my bed, retching up my dinner as my stomach agonized inside my body. My head was pounding and all I could do was moan in agony. Then as the morning sunlight came, it all passed. Since then, the sickness has reoccurred randomly each week. The first few times it was at night, then the next it happened after my morning meal. Lord Kenrick had to carry me to my bed for I was unable to stand from the sharp pains in my stomach. Despite the regular occurrence, each time the sickness passes the Mages declare me cured. The fourth time Kenrick spent the night pacing in my room, barking orders at Lady Jess. There was little Jess could do for me until once again morning brought the cure and the sickness passed without any issue. However it was that morning when I heard Lord Kenrick shouting at the Mages, yelling that they were completely incapable of doing their jobs. They could only apologize and claim that their foolish old magicks were the source of my cure. I would sooner believe that the Sun itself cured me then their pathetic attempts at magicks. If it weren't for my father's wishes, I would not even entertain their archaic ways.

However this afternoon, after Jess had brought my tea, I feel the growing twist inside my stomach. I tried to fight the pain and hide it from Kenrick who was sitting a mere 10 feet away in the offices. When I attempted to walk myself back to my bedchamber, I felt a surge of pain as if a hand was twisting my stomach into a tight knot. I cried out in spite of myself and Kenrick was at my side a second later. “This is the fifth time Jane....This cannot continue!” I shook my head and tried to make excuses, “It was my tea, it tasted funny. Maybe the new batch does not agree with me.” I could barely finish my weak excuse before the pain overtook me and I cringed against the desk. Kenrick quickly took my cup, sniffing at it before taking a sip himself. Then he promptly spit it out on the floor, “What tea is that?!” he exclaimed angrily.

He ripped open the office door and shouted for Jess who appeared right away. “What did you bring the Princess??!” He roared in her face. Jess whimpered afraid, “Some tea my Lord.” Kenrick stepped threateningly close, “That tea tastes wrong....its sour.” Jess bit her lip hard, “I am sorry my Lord. Perhaps the cooks gave me something old?” He grabbed her arm and shook her fiercely, “You are fetching food for the Princess of this castle!! You are to ensure that everything you touch is exactly as it should be!!” Jess cried out in fear and I had to wait for the seizing pain to pass before I could speak, “Kenrick, do not harm that girl...please!” Kenrick released her but he did not relent, growling at her,“Do not bring my Lady any food that you personally have not seen to. For anything less than complete service of your Lady will see you punished.” Jess burst into tears, but held her ground as she answered, “Yes my Lord.” I sunk to the floor in pain and Kenrick quickly spun around to gather me up, pushing Jess away “Get away from the Princess. I will tend to her myself!”

My head lulled against Kenrick as I felt dizzy from the all too familiar pain. “Please...do not be so angry.” I whispered through my gritted teeth. Kenrick once again took me down the hall, gently laying me on the bed before covering over my shivering body. “Jane...Jane listen to me!” He leaned over, turning my face carefully to look at him, “I am beginning to fear that you are being poisoned. Perhaps by someone Alaric or his father has paid off.” The deep well of pain took me, and my eyes squeezed closed, “No...no it cannot be. I always get better.” Kenrick rubbed my face until the pain passed, “This is the fifth time Jane. I have been watching and making mental notes. It is always after you eat a meal. But its never after you eat the same thing.” I opened my eyes to look at his, full of worry. “It cannot be,” I said more to soothe my own fears. Before I could continue, my tortured stomach turned upside down and I leaned over the edge of the bed, starting to retch. Kenrick was quick to grab my chamber bowl, and hold me tight as my shoulders shook hard from my stomach trying to empty itself. “Jane please....let me pursue this!” He guided me back to rest on the bed, before grabbing a cloth to wipe down my face. I tried to turn my face away, “Please, let a maid tend me.” Kenrick was firm, “No, I do not trust anyone right now. Not those foolish girls, not Jess, not the Mages. No one! Jane I am begging you. This is not normal.” I curled into a tiny ball, my head resting against the side of his leg. “It will pass soon.” Kenrick caressed my back as I cringed with each surge of pain. I could not longer speak for the pain overtook my mind and made me dizzy. He struggled to console and take care of me, yet my body would not be soothed. Soon I was again gagging endlessly on the tiniest contents of my stomach. Despite my agony, I heard him whisper to himself, “Dear god, I cannot lose her...”

As always I recovered before dawn, yet I slept late due to my body being exhausted from such a trial. When I finally awoke, the sun was streaming in and it was later in the afternoon. I saw a patch of blond hair against the edge of my blankets. When I shifted slightly, it was Lord Kenrick asleep while sitting on the floor alongside my bed. His face looked pale and I knew his body would be sore from such a night. I reached down, gently caressing his head, softly brushing his hair back from his face. “Kenrick....my dearest Kenrick...” I whispered softly as not to jar him awake. His eyes slowly opened and he looked up at me, “How do you feel?” he said with a groggy voice. I smiled slightly, “Better, as always....come off that floor, you will be in pain.” He shifted with a groan, and pushed himself to his feet, “I have slept worse. It is more important that you are well again.” I nodded, “I assure you that I am.”

Kenrick ran a hand over his face already so exhausted with a whole day ahead still. “I want you to rest here today. I will keep the everyone at bay but I will need to start some investigations. Jane....this is serious.” I blinked back at him, “Please do not tell my father,” I pleaded futilely. Kenrick sighed deeply, leaning on the edge of my bed, “Jane, I must....but I will tell him you did not wish him to worry.” I nodded sadly but did not fight with him. I knew that Kenrick had a difficult task ahead of him while I was remanded to bed. “Is there anything you wish dearest?” he said while standing up to strap back on his sword belt. I bit my lip because in my heart I knew the answer before he asked it, but I could not bring myself to give Kenrick even more work. He leaned down, checking my forehead for fever before kissing it softly, “I will send for Madge. She would want to be here.” A soft cry escaped my lips, for he knew everything, every dark and deep part of my mind. Kenrick rubbed my face. “Who better to take care of you then her, yes? No tears...I want you to rest. I will bring food myself later.”

I reached for his hand, pressing it against my cheek, “You give me the world, and yet offer me even more. I take too much from you.” Kenrick shook his head, “I give what I wish freely, for you would ask for nothing. I give the world because you deserve it my dearest Jane.” I have always thought highly of Kenrick. In the past year together, he has become special and important to me. A person I trusted deeply that has never faulted in being good to me. But it was this moment that he endeared himself to my heart more then almost anyone else. He was precious and unique and I feared without him near me I would no longer breath. While there was a part of me that was touched by his gifts, as there was another part that was terrified of losing him to whatever unnamed evils were surrounding me. I quickly rose up, throwing my arms around his neck, “Don't leave me....never leave me Kenrick. Please, please stay.” I felt tears pouring down my face, and my body was trembling from the emotions. He quickly took me in his arms, holding me tight against his chest, “Shhh...I am here. I will always be here. Calm yourself, or your nerves will overcome you. Do not be afraid....I am here.” I cried into the crook of his neck like a little girl. While I believed every word he spoke, I could not shake the fear the day I would be without him. How could I not see how precious he was until now?? Kenrick sat on the edge of my bed, holding me in a fierce grip until my emotions were calmed and I was able to gather my wits.