Always Anyways...

Two days later, Kenrick and I were attending to shipping reports when a servant knocked at our office door. “My Lady, a messenger arrived that must urgently speak with you.” I tilted my head, “Very well, let him in.” Lord Kenrick stood from his desk, coming to my side as a harried messenger appeared in my doorway, “Are you the Princess Regent of this castle? Lady Jane Snowfox?” It felt strange that he would address me so formally, as if there could be any confusion. “Aye, I am.” He quickly crossed the room, bowing awkwardly before offering out a small box to me. It was covered in parchment and string that was sealed with unmarked red wax. I looked up at Lord Kenrick who appeared equally puzzled when he asked, “Who has sent this?” The messenger suddenly became very nervous, wringing his hands. “I do not know my Lord.” Kenrick leaned forward, “What do you mean, you do not know? Who is your Master?” The man cleared his throat, “I do not have a Master my Lord. I am a lumber cutter who works in the Eastern woodlands. A noble man approached my cutting and paid me a gold coin to deliver this package within the day.” Kenrick looked over at me, and as our eyes met I felt my stomach drop. “Do not open that Jane,” Kenrick warned me carefully, but my fingers were already pulling the string from the wax, “I must…” The parchment paper fell away and there was a small wooden box inside. Carefully I pushed back the top, and the powerful smell of lavender and sage hit my nose first, almost overwhelming my senses. Yet there was another scent that followed just as quickly after, a sour nearly putrid smell was mixed in, hidden among it all. I knew the smell somehow, but the realization did not come until my eyes saw what was nestled among the hay and herbs. A blackened, rotting, severed finger, large and thick like a man’s, with a ring still adorned. I knew that ring; it was the royal seal of my brother, Nicolous.

Before I could even react, Kenrick snatched the box away from my desk and shouted for the guards to seize the messenger. The room suddenly exploded with sounds, the messenger declaring his innocence and pleaded for his life, the guards yelling at the messenger to not move, Kenrick shouting for guards to search the castle, find the king and secure him, Madge pushing through the men, scrambling to reach me. I felt as if the world was spinning out of control, as I sat there in my chair. Finally my mind caught up and I screamed. I could see only one face, my precious and beloved brother who treasured me above all, rotting and dying. Kenrick was barking at Madge, “Get her…take her away. Make sure she is safe.” Madge had me by my shoulders, and was trying to guide me from the office, “Come child…come now.” But instead of following her, I lunged out as my fingers latched onto Kenrick's arm and could not be removed, “Is that from Nicolous?? Is that his finger?? What has happened to him?? What have they done to him?? Kenrick, you have to save him…Kenrick please!!” He struggled to remove my hands, “Go Jane! Go with Madge. You are safe here. Go now.” Kenrick nearly pushed me off of him before he ran out of the room followed by a group of guards. The other group nearly shoved Madge and I into my bedchamber, locking us inside.

I paced anxiously, stuck between fear, panic, and sheer sadness. Madge urged me to sit, drink some wine, lay down, anything to calm my nerves but I would not be tamed. The idea of my Nicolito in pain, being punished and suffering when I could have done something put emotions in my chest I could not reconcile. Madge looked at me sadly, “Child, I would have never thought it would be more dangerous for you in your own castle. Sometimes I think you were safer at the manor or at your previous lord's.” Her words struck a chord in me, for she was in essence correct. I knew that Lord Tiernan did not like me for my past deeds, but he did not have the power to do much about it. Even Alaric wanted me for a specific purpose that prevented him from doing me great harm. I was an important asset to him. Here in my father's castle I should be safe, surrounded by people who knew my position, and pledged fealty to my father. Yet here were hidden dangers that were secretive and venomous. It lulled me into a false sense of peace and safety that did not truly exist. Perhaps my father had more wisdom then I realized when he sent me away to Lord Tiernan's estate. In my sorrow and shock from being cast out from my former King, I did not realize the dangers that surrounded me. Perhaps Alaric made him change his view on where I was most safe. Yet now I was beginning to realize that while my father genuinely believed in my ability, there were more reasons he bestowed upon me the title of Princess Regent. With that title came more power then just a simple royal princess. I controlled the land's coffers, taxes and supplies. I could choke out a Prince whose trade agreements I did not like by simply refusing to buy his wheat. I could overpower a Lord who disrespected my name by seeing that his chambers were left unattended and sullied. Most importantly, my position balanced the power of my brother Eadgar.

This day made me see things in a clarity I never had before. I had been living in a dream, surrounded by the grief of my former life. This was not a happy tale I was living in, I was acting like nothing more then a naïve child. I was lucky to have the few loyal people I had in my life, for without them, I might not have survived this far. I was a Queen once, that ruled with great power under my former King. Had I somehow lost sight of that side of me? Was that part of me torn away when my former King was rid of me? My mind settled on this new world, and my eyes opened to what my life has really become. Suddenly I was filled with restless energy of how to wield the power I finally came to realize. My thoughts now turned toward Nicolito, what could have gone wrong that would have Alaric's father respond in such a way?? Was this a ploy to lure us into war?? What advantage did he gain by posing such a threat?? My mind spun with the little facts I knew, and I could find no reason he would be so angered without worrying about the repercussions of his own son Alaric. I needed to know more, I needed to speak with my father. I pushed aside the feeling of terror and forced myself to focus that energy. Action must be made, and I was not powerless. I need only find where to concentrate my drive forward and I needed Kenrick.

Hours past in my chambers, and I would switch between gazing out the windows to pacing the floor. I could start nothing without Kenrick's guidance. Madge finally had dinner brought up, but I could only manage a few bites, asking hourly when Kenrick might be able to report to me with no answer given by the guards. Finally, as dinner had gone cold, my chamber door opened and a young boy entered. I knew his face, but it has been a while since he was in my presence, it was Kenrick's squire. He bowed deeply before me, “My Princess, my knight Lord Kenrick bid that I send you a message. He is working alongside your Father, the King, and their work will carry them deep into the night. He wishes that you would try to rest and not tax yourself unnecessarily. My knight promised to come to you as soon as he is able to see after your welfare himself.” I nodded to the boy, “Tell your knight that he has my undying gratitude for his service to this land.” The boy smiled proudly and nodded, bowing before scurrying back out. My anxious heart and my worried mind wore down my body, and soon I could no longer fight sleep.