Always Anyways...

I dressed in one of my simpler yet royal gowns, and made sure my mother's thin crown was placed among my hair. I managed to convinced Lord Kenrick to eat something before he escorted me down to my father's meeting chamber. They were wide rooms with a long table in between two stone fireplaces. The tall windows let in plenty of light, yet there were candelabras around the room that enabled them to work well into the night. This chamber could almost be mistaken for a banquet room if it were not for the stacks of books on the side tables, charts and maps that hung on the walls and the main table always covered in scrolls, not plates. My brother Eadgar was already there, pouring over a scroll while standing shoulder to shoulder with his younger brother by only 14 months, Cadeon. Many could mistake these brothers of mine for twins, if they did not know the family history. They had a tight and unbreakable bond, yet it has always been clear that Eadgar was the leader and the brains behind the pair. I have long believed that my brother Cadeon has kindness hidden deep inside however his lack of strength in the shadow of Eadgar often chokes it away like a rose struggling with ivy. I had only seen that side a precious few times, and have always wished Cadeon could have been born with more of my father's courage. But many have whispered that the second brother is smarter then he appeared because he has always known how to flourish under the cruelty of his eldest brother. They both looked up upon hearing the door close and I tightened my hand around Kenrick's arm.

“Ah...Greetings Lord Privy Councillor. Good Morrow baby sister.” Eadgar's voice was as sweet as honey, but his eyes were cold daggers of ice. I knew my presence was greatly unwelcomed. Kenrick spoke for me. “The Princess Regent is concerned about the wellbeing of her youngest brother. She is eager to attend our meeting to see if there is a way she can lend aid.” Cadeon was quick to speak, “The Castle Regent never attends meetings of the King. There is no need.” Kenrick smiled happy to correct him, “There was a time the Queen would attend.” Eadgar stepped toward us, “Yet Lord Privy Councillor, there is a distinct difference in attending the meeting and being in attendance. She has no power to make any requests here.” I refused to be run out and stood my ground, “I am well versed in the difference and am content to have any place I am able. I wish only to know of the council's discussions first hand.” I released Kenrick's arm and took two steps toward the single chair along the side wall, which rested atop a round red carpet. It was one of the few unchanging pieces in this room, still placed to the left of the King and toward the head of the room, nearest the fireplace. It was delicate pale wood, intricately carved around the edges. Even thought it had not been used in years, a fresh red velvet cushion still rested on the seat as if its owner might return any second. This was the royal chair of my mother the Queen, the very one she used daily when she attended these meetings with my Father.

Eadgar quickly moved in front of me, placing himself between me and the chair. Our eyes locked and he was about to speak in an attempt to stop me, when another door opened. My father had arrived and his advisers busied past him, talking amongst themselves in careful tones. At first I was not noticed, but Kenrick spoke just loudly enough to gain the King's attention, “Good Morrow my King,” bowing deeply upon the King's entrance. Both my brothers and I also turned toward him and bowed when my father noticed me. “My sweet Jane...I have hoped this stunt has not upset you too deeply.” He offered out his hand to me and I walked straight to his side. Placing my hand in his, he drew me close, kissing my palm before squeezing my hand tight. “You are always a refreshing sight for an old man.” I smiled softly at him, “I felt I must be here today Father. To aid you and your men in every way....for Nicolito.” He nodded patting my cheek, “Of course....” and he motioned with his hand to my mother's chair. It was a victory for me and Eadgar's eyes narrowed at me with anger. Anything of my mother's was always a shine to her memory in his mind. To see me, of all people, use her precious items was blasphemy. With quick smile, I locked eyes on Eadgar as soon as I sat down, causing his jaw to set ever tighter. I could foresee visions of him branding me a witch upon my father's death and burning me at a stake in the center of the royal courtyard. But I just as quickly pushed my fears away as Eadgar ground his teeth for a moment more before starting the meeting.

As crowned Prince, he mostly took the lead and his word held the most weight. However he could be trumped at any point by my father. It was clear Eadgar was well aware of this as this morning he measured each word carefully, watching my father's every reaction to make sure to stay in complete favour. I knew he wanted to send me from the room by my hair, but he could not dare make such a stand before my father and was forced to bear my attendance. Cadeon kept a close eye on me, and seemed tasked at gauging my reactions which I knew to keep carefully hidden. There was once when our eyes locked. I tried to smile tenderly at him, but his only response was to look away. It was clear that Eadgar's hooks were in deep these days.

The meetings talked of people, lands and treaties I knew little about. Having lived with my former King for so long, I am still plagued with my homelands feeling stranger then I like. Eadgar was proving his point. There was little reason for me to be here and was trying to run me out with boredom, but this was not a game I could let him win. I followed Kenrick, and when he spoke on a topic, I listened more closely. It was clear he was more versed then I, with his history of being my father's military adviser. Just when I was losing hope that there would be talks of how to help Nicolito, the meeting finally turned about. Kenrick shared his ill gotten intelligence with the men, and they were all in just as much shock as I was at the first message's disappearance. I tried desperately to divine if Eadgar or Cadeon played any role in the disappearance. Sadly if either were a part, they did not show it. But as Kenrick deftly pointed out, the mystery was really irrelevant to the urgent situation at hand, as now direct intervention would be needed to ensure Nicolous security. It was clear another scroll sent with a faceless messenger would not be sufficient.

Despite my intense focus on their conversation, Eadgar's next words stole the last air from my lungs. “My King, I agree with your advisers that a diplomatic trip to their homelands could cause no less damage to the treaty. Yet I propose that our messenger be of importance, caring the heavy weight of your words, someone with royal significance.” My father nodded in agreement, “Your suggestions my son?” Eadgar smiled widely, “We have the best man right here at this table, the Lord Privy Councillor. He is a noble knight, trust military adviser and friend to our brother. With his seal and rank, who better to send North to smooth relations??” I watched as Kenrick's hand tightened around the chair and his eyes shifted directly to me. It was as if Eadgar had put this trap in motion days ago, and we were fools that stumbled in blind. I slightly shook my head to him, but Kenrick looked down at his lap. He could not dare refuse what should be an honour to represent the King's word even if he knew there was clearly more at risk. The King sat up a little in his chair, “Why yes....that could be just what we need. A royal emissary with training and knowledge of how best to proceed.” Eadgar nodded in agreement, with Cadeon joining in nearly instantly. Just like that, the deal was struck and my Father was giving Kenrick directions on how to proceed, offering him limits he could speak to, and certain bribes he could provide to secure safety for Nicolous while not abandoning the treaty or turning an ally into an enemy. Whereas I heard every word, there was roar in my ears that was near deafening, and an distracting ache in my chest I could not fight. I reached for the ring tucked tightly inside my bodice. My fingers played with its warm metal surface, as if it was a talisman that could cast magicks and whisk all this evil away.

It was my father's voice that stirred me back to this realm, “Does that help to ease your heart my dearest? Soon all will be well again.” I saw all the table's eyes cast on me and I looked from Kenrick to my father. “If you take the Privy Councillor from my side, how will I manage all that is tasked before me?” Eadgar was quick with a solution, “Surely our father's advisers would be content to direct you as they have our father?” Cadeon echoed his brother, “But if you are unable to manage, I would be glad to ease your burdens dear sister.” His slippery smile matched that of our oldest brother, and could be mistaken for nothing less then mocking. I lifted my chin instinctively, “I am grasping more on my own each day, certainly the advisers can manage the scrolls and paperwork in the Privy Councillor's absence.” My father's aging advisers all nodded slowly in agreement without hesitation. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced my chest to keep moving air in and out. Kenrick stood from the table, “If I am to leave in two days my King, there is much I need to prepare. I bid your permission to attend to the matters at hand that I might be ready.” My father nodded, “Of course, very well. Seek anyone required to cover your duties in your absence.” Kenrick bowed before him, “I thank you my King,” he murmured before coming over to my chair to offer out his arm, “My Princess?” As I took it, he could certainly feel me trembling. Kenrick nodded encouragingly to me before I gave strength to me feet enough to stand.

We walked silently back to my chambers but the closer we got, the faster his pace became. I struggled at the end to keep up, and as we burst through the doorway, Kenrick nearly spun me into the room. “Clear the CHAMBER!” his voice ending with a shout. Madge was shocked at our sudden return, but was as quick as the rest to leave us in private. Before I could even ask, Kenrick lashed out in panick, putting one arm around my waist, holding me near and laying his hand against my cheek. It shocked me, and I gasped as I put my hand over his, “Kenrick!” I murmured. But he interrupted me before I could say more, his voice was edgy and shaking, “You are in such danger Jane...such danger and I am a fool to not have seen it. How could I have not seen his strategy!! He is sending away all threats to his throne, one by one by one. Your return is a threat to his position here, and the love your father holds for you in his heart turns Eadgar even further against you. I will not let you be lost to that animal in my absence. I will not see Eadgar trade you away like a cow to secure his place on your father's throne. If there is no other way, I would claim your hand as my own, and protect you with my own banner in my own house.”

I was dumbfounded and could only blink at him. If he did not have such a strong grip around my waist my knees would have failed me. “Just say yes, and it will be done,” Kenrick's composure was cracking, and his eyes were wide and wild. Yet his touch was tender and he rubbed my cheek gently, “I would ask for nothing, nothing you would not give of your own free will. I would not even take the title unless you wished it nor a place in your bed. I want nothing but to see you safe and happy.” My mind was reeling and it was clear that Eadgar's games badly unraveled my brave and strong Lord Kenrick. I whispered his name softly, and he pulled me even closer, “You need to say only yes...I would be good to you Jane. Good and kind and caring....and I would protect you with every piece of my being. I give you my banner, my house and my name and ask for nothing. You need only to whisper the word yes.” He was so true, so genuine and honest. His heart was pure and I felt my chest seizing with such tightness that it brought tears to my eyes, “You are scaring me....” I whispered. As each tear overflowed, he wiped them away with his thumb. “My dear Jane....you do not need to be scared under my banner. Eadgar will have no power over you anymore.” I nodded slightly, “Yes he would. He would hold the greatest of power, for he will know my weakest point and where to strike first.” Kenrick squeezed his eyes closed and pressed his forehead to mine. “I cannot leave you behind like this, so vulnerable and alone. Yet I must. I have thought of so many different possibilities, but none keep you safer then here.” I too closed my eyes and started to cry. “Shhh....” he whispered in my ear, gathering me up against him until I was pressed against his chest. I remember the last time I felt his warmth surround me, and it was the first night I cried over Gannon's body. It was comforting and safe, as he gently rubbed my back. “Shhh....do not be scared. I am such a fool to have scared you so. But my offer will not change. I will leave you my banner, my title is in your hands. If the need arises that you need my protection, you claim our arrangement and my family will honour it. More importantly, I will honour it and return to claim your hand of my own house.” I could only nod with my face buried in his chest because Kenrick was right. I was terrified to be without him, to be left behind and alone in this castle filled with sharks.