Always Anyways...

That evening, Lord Kenrick returned, knocking on my bedchamber door. “Jane....” he called to me softly when he found me gazing out a window. I turned to him with a sad smile, “Did you need me, my Lord?” He reached out his hand to me and I came to his side. He smiled back at me sadly, “I wanted to properly introduce you to the men I have selected to take my place as your personal guard.” I nodded following him out into the main chamber. There standing in the middle of the room, proudly wearing fresh armour were two of my royal guard. I nodded to them respectfully, “Good knights, I am honoured to see you both standing before me.” Kenrick walked up to them and they saluted him formally, “My Princess, may I introduce the bravest and most clever knights that are in your service. Here on the left is Captain Evandar and on the right is Captain Gregor” Holding their helmets close under their arms, they slowly bowed before me, and I responded in kind. Both faces looked familiar to me, and I was sure they had served under Lord Kenrick before. I took in the beings of these new men who would become an ever present part of my day. Sir Evandar had a younger face, despite his scruffy beard that hid his age. He has long dark brown hair, that was tied back tightly at the nape of his neck. Sir Gregor was nearly 4 inches taller then his counterpart, and just as wide around. He was an large impressive man that could make any warrior second guess himself in battle. Both of them looked equally able to the task, even if they did not hold a place in my heart and mind as my beloved Lord Kenrick. “She is your Princess, your only charge. Never let her from your sight or trust her in the care of another. Consider this tiny creature as if she were your mother, your sister, your bride, and the very sun and air you rely on. She is the sole reason your sword rests in your hand, and the cause for the gods to bless you with such talents with a blade. Treat her no less then the priceless treasure she is and she will love you, and defend your honour with her own. For if she loves you, you will never do wrong in her eyes even in your own honorable deaths.” The men slowly looked toward me and I was stunned by the pledge Lord Kenrick put on their shoulders. Sir Evandar spoke first, “As if you were my own flesh, I swear it.” Sire Gregor grunted, “I swear it with my final drop of blood,” and with those simple words the deal was sealed.

That night I could not sleep. I tried to have Kenrick linger further in my chambers, but again he excused himself to attend to personal matters. Sir Evandar and Gregor were at his heals when he left. Without Madge, I found myself to bed yet everything else evaded me. I tossed and turned as my mind churned endlessly at the thoughts of what could happen. Nicolous, Taggart, and Kenrick all had their fates intertwined, all that I held most dear were wrapped in the same package being delivered to the fates. What would the fates return to me? Or would my father's threat become a prophesy of my future. A bright morning came after a torturous night. Yet food turned my stomach, and I struggled keep my mind on the paperwork in front of me.

Lord Kenrick and I worked at a feverish pace to see after as much of the castle business as we could before he left tomorrow. There were arrangements put in place, orders that awaited delivery, and decisions quickly discussed so that there would be less work in his absence. Guards continuously reported to Lord Kenrick, yet he still returned to our work at hand. Neither of us realized the time until the room became so dim the servants had to come in and light our candles. I could smell the taunting waft of dinner from my main chamber, but it soon died away untouched as Kenrick and I saw to the last of the business. Finally I could push no further, and my hand started to shake as I was a signing a scroll. I looked up at Kenrick and realized that the both of us were attempting the same thing. Neither of us could face being separated, it was clear on his face when our eyes met, something he had avoided all day. I carefully laid down my quill as to not ruin the fresh scroll, which caused him to look away. “What is wrong?” he asked, but that question had so many answers. “Kenrick....” my voice started but died out just as fast as it began. He blinked at papers in his hand and continued on with our work. “There are only 3 more scrolls left....the others can wait for tomorrow. Sign this one and then we have the...” I interrupted him, “No...no more...” I pushed the scrolls away from me, further back on the desk.

Kenrick looked back at me, starting to notice the emotion on my face and tried to appease me, “Do you want to make changes to the agreement? We could add more barrels.” I stood up from my desk, my feelings during dark, “I do not want to talk about this work for one more second!” Kenrick was surprised by my burst of anger, “Jane....what has you so angry?” The question was more then I could handle and I pushed him away from me by the chest. He quickly stepped back, putting his arms up offering a surrender, “My Lady....what have I done wrong??” I followed after him and pushed him back again, “I do not want to see this endless work or a single scroll for another damned moment!!” I repeated louder and angrier this time. Again he stepped away from me, giving me even more room as I walked from behind my desk. “Then tell me, my Lady, what you wish? What do you want me to do?” His eyes were pleading and sad, and seeing that in him melted away the darkness. I made a pathetic attempt to push him away from me further but this time he took my wrist, “Jane....stop....” he lowered his voice gently and I could only hang my head and cry. As he did before, Kenrick wrapped me up in his arms, holding me tenderly against his chest, “Shhh...my sweet dearest Jane, there is no need to cry.” He rubbed my cheek with his own as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, “I will return to you....I promised to never leave you.” A cry caught in my throat and I could no longer hold back my flood of tears. I buried my face in his shoulder as he stood there holding me tight.

I do not know how long we stood with him holding me in his protective cocoon, but I felt him lift me up and walk toward the fires. He sat down, and settled me carefully on his lap, which did not require that I even shift in his arms at all. My tears subsided and I released a ragged sigh. Finally I spoke, and this time it was my cheek that rubbed against his as I whispered, “Stay with me....stay with me to the last final moment.” Kenrick nodded, “As you wish....” His words struck my heart, and I did not want for him to follow my commands mindlessly, but because he wanted to. I jerked my head back and blinked at him. He quickly realized his mistake, gently taking my chin in his fingers, “...for it is what I wish as well.” A few solitary drops rolled slowly down my cheek, and once again he brushed my tears away. I realized in the last frozen second how close our faces were, just before the spark burst open as his lips barely brushed my own. It was the lightest and most tender kiss I could ever remember, and as delicate as it was, it carried such powerful force. There was a small part of me that had waited months for that kiss, and had wanted it as much as I was afraid of it. Despite his initiation, I was embarrassed by my own willing acceptance and buried my face quickly back against his neck. I felt his chest freeze in panic of what he had just done, “Jane, I am sorry....I should never have taken such...” I quickly shook my head, speaking at the same time he did, “No...No....” I lifted my head, putting my fingertips on his lips to stop him from talking. “No,” I said one final time as our eyes met. Slowly, I shifted my fingers from his lips, across his rough cheek to around his neck. The anticipation hung in the air between us for a moment, and despite how my mind revolted, my body continued and softly pressed my lips into his.