Condemned to Night

Gustav goes out to the living room so I can get dressed. I get dressed in my favorite black skinny jeans, spider web shirt that shows off my stomach slightly and black sweatshirt vest. You really think you should wear a shirt like that? Why would you show off your fat! I doubt Gustav likes you for your personality! If you show that off he will run for the hills! I sigh. I know there is something wrong with me, I just won’t admit it to anyone… ever.

I walk into the living room to be lifted into the air the second I step out. I squeak and grab onto the nearest thing which happened to be Gustav. We laugh together as he sets me down. “Question one! When is your birthday?” Gustav says to me.

“My birthday is June 6th! Hmmm, what instruments do you play?”

“I sing, play guitar, and play bass, I used to be the bassist for the band in fact!” Gustav replies excitedly. He is so cute when he is excited. “Want to eat breakfast?” he asks. I open my mouth to retort ‘yes, my turn for a question!’ When he turns to me laughing, “No that does not count as a question!” I close my mouth and he laughs at the upset expression on my face.

We walk into the kitchen when my little voice says Better not eat anything! Don’t want to be fatter than you already are whore! I shake my head to clear it. Gustav is raiding the cabinets for food. “What do you want to eat?” he calls over.

I shake my head, “None for me, I want to save my appetite for the game.” I say with a smile.

“You sure, love? You’re going to be hungry!” he nags at me.

“No, really I’m fine!” I smile and watch him eat. I turn on the news to see what the weather is going to be like. A headlining story comes on.

“Another rape has occurred in a Milwaukee club, a woman who prefers to have her name withheld, age 25, was at The Spark in downtown Milwaukee when a man grabbed her. He raped and stabbed her. She is still in the hospital but out of critical condition. This is the third attack since January, the police have very little to go on for each woman says the man looks different. Use precaution if in Milwaukee.” The news lady reported.

Gustav had stopped eating and was staring at the screen, a glare in his beautiful blue eyes. “That makes me so sick! How can any man do that! To do it once is one thing, but three times! That scum doesn’t deserve to be free!” Gustav shouts angrily.

“I agree! Why did no one help these women either! Ugg!” I say in disgust. We turn our attention back to the TV to see the weather report, Clear skies with a high of 78. Perfect for a baseball game! Gustav goes back to eating his cereal. And I come up with my first question. “Gustav, What is your favorite color?”

“My favorite color is blue.” He says with a smile. “Where is your dream place to live?”

I smile and blush, “I swear it’s not because of you, but I want to live in the countryside of England, it’s so beautiful there.” He smiles at me, kissing my head as he goes to wash his bowl.

“It really is beautiful there.” He says with a hint of sadness in his voice. “I miss home…” He says suddenly.

“It’s ok, hun, you’ll be home in a few days.” I say and walk over to comfort him. I wrap my arms around him.

“Oh, I see you have a tattoo?” He says changing the subject suddenly.

“Yah! I actually have a few. Two on my stomach and one on each arm.” I say showing my arms but avoiding my stomach. He examines the one on my wrist.

“What happened to this one?” He asks pointing at the lines running under it.

“Oh, uhh,” I say nervously. “I used to harm… I have a lot of scars. I wanted to cover the scars so I got this tattoo and I haven’t done anything since.” I say sadly ashamed of my past.

“Really?” He asks then turns his arm over to show his tattoo. “I did the same.” He says and I look at it closely seeing the faint lines under the tattoo. The sight makes a little tear come to my eye. It escapes and runs down my cheek. For some reason, I just don’t ever want him to hurt. It makes me so upset that he had to turn to that. He lifts up my chin and wipe the tear away with his thumb. “Don’t weep for me, love, its in the past. And I will never go back.” He pulls me into an embrace. I feel warm and secure in his arms.

We hear the door unlock, we step away from each other and the party of people walk back in, Gustav sits at the counter sipping coffee.

“Are you guys finally ready to go?” Ash asks jokingly. We nod and we all file outside.

“Why don’t we take the tour bus? More room? And then we can tailgate in it!” Fraser says.

Ash and I look at him in shock, “You know what tailgating is?” I ask.

“Well yah! I watch TV!” We laugh at him as we walk to the bus.