Perfectly Discontent
1
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. Ordinarily, I would feel rather unsettled by a statement as cryptic as that. Upon focused reflection, it occurred to me that place is not significant. I thought and pushed my ideas of place and location, challenging the comfortable association of place and significance, building and value, house and home. I realized one does not guarantee the other. I propose a rhetoric: What is the difference (in significance or otherwise) between a house of warship, and a house and warship? I don’t feel one is different from the other, in fact it is entirely possible that a house and warship is more pure and more holy than a house of warship. Personally, I’m not religious, not in the slightest, but I try to be self aware, and I try to be spiritually balanced.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. This is not to suggest that every place in which I do not feel perfectly content, I am not content at all. There are many places that provide me with different comfort and meaning in my life, but not one that provides me with perfect peace of mind. School provides me with a daily structure, and a constant mental challenge. At this moment in my life, school provides me with meaning, purpose. As sad as that may be, I’m very pleased to have meaning and a place to feel productive. School creates stress but it also challenges me and inspires me. Work presents easy mindless work, it’s a little existential, and mostly unsettling; but I wouldn’t give it up. Nature is my house of warship. I meditate in nature, sometimes it brings me peace and balance, other times it presents a time of self discovery and internal struggle. None of these places present me with perfect content.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. I could be in a calming place on a good day and I could be perfectly content. I could also be in that same place on a bad day and be extremely discontent. It is not the place that provides peace of mind, it’s my peace of mind that provides a state of satisfaction. If I were to rely on place to determine my happiness, I guess I’d always be perfectly discontent. Maybe that’s why the first sentence is surpassingly unsettling.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. For in every place I’m perfectly discontent. It is not the place, it is me. It is every single moment prior, and every single person, and every interaction that determines me, and that determines my perception of place. It is my perception of place that leaves me perfectly discontent. I am drawn to water, I sail, I dive, I swim, I love it, I trust it, I’m comfortable in it. Over time, I have learned that calm waters, though they’re easily navigated, never made a skillful anything. It is the turbulence of life that makes things interesting, that makes them pleasureful. When waters are perfectly tempestuous, sailing is thrilling, surfing is fun, swimming is exhilarating.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. There is no place perfectly content. Life is tremulous, it is unstable, and unpredictable. At the same time it is that instability and agitation that make life perfectly predictable. It is the conflict that is resolution.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. Every place, I am perfectly discontent.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. This is not to suggest that every place in which I do not feel perfectly content, I am not content at all. There are many places that provide me with different comfort and meaning in my life, but not one that provides me with perfect peace of mind. School provides me with a daily structure, and a constant mental challenge. At this moment in my life, school provides me with meaning, purpose. As sad as that may be, I’m very pleased to have meaning and a place to feel productive. School creates stress but it also challenges me and inspires me. Work presents easy mindless work, it’s a little existential, and mostly unsettling; but I wouldn’t give it up. Nature is my house of warship. I meditate in nature, sometimes it brings me peace and balance, other times it presents a time of self discovery and internal struggle. None of these places present me with perfect content.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. I could be in a calming place on a good day and I could be perfectly content. I could also be in that same place on a bad day and be extremely discontent. It is not the place that provides peace of mind, it’s my peace of mind that provides a state of satisfaction. If I were to rely on place to determine my happiness, I guess I’d always be perfectly discontent. Maybe that’s why the first sentence is surpassingly unsettling.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. For in every place I’m perfectly discontent. It is not the place, it is me. It is every single moment prior, and every single person, and every interaction that determines me, and that determines my perception of place. It is my perception of place that leaves me perfectly discontent. I am drawn to water, I sail, I dive, I swim, I love it, I trust it, I’m comfortable in it. Over time, I have learned that calm waters, though they’re easily navigated, never made a skillful anything. It is the turbulence of life that makes things interesting, that makes them pleasureful. When waters are perfectly tempestuous, sailing is thrilling, surfing is fun, swimming is exhilarating.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. There is no place perfectly content. Life is tremulous, it is unstable, and unpredictable. At the same time it is that instability and agitation that make life perfectly predictable. It is the conflict that is resolution.
There is no place in which I feel perfectly content. Every place, I am perfectly discontent.