C'est la Mort

No one heard from Caris for days. It was like all of a sudden, she had disappeared, which due to recent circumstances, worried everyone. The only time anyone heard anything from her, was when she'd send out a mass group message to her friends daily with the simple phrase of "I'm alive." She didn't reply to other messages, nor did she answer her phone. When any of the guys went to her apartment, they discovered her car was gone and she didn't answer the front door. They even asked her neighbor if they'd seen her, to which the teenage boy laughed, saying he hadn't seen her in months.

"I heard her boyfriend or husband or whatever died. No one has seen her since June. She's like a ghost, which is a shame because she was hot as shit," the boy said, smirking as he shoved his cell phone into his pocket.

John and Eric rolled their eyes, continuing to knock on the door. They gave up after about six minutes, since their knocking hadn't worked any other day. Neither would admit that they were actually truly terrified if she was okay, especially since she hadn't sent out the mass text yet. For the other, they'd say they knew she was okay.

Finally, after what seemed like hours as they were sitting at Tim's place, all of their phones simultaneously went off. The five people there let out a silent breath to themselves as they pulled out their phones or picked them up.

The message was the same as it always was. Just the two small words. As John looked at the recipient list, he noticed that Joel's name was missing from it. However, Joel was checking his phone. His eyes were fixated on his phone, and John knew he had received a different message. The expression on Joel's face was unreadable to John as he watched him.

After a moment, Joel stood up, saying he was going to help his mom with something. The other guys, not noticing anything, said goodbye, but John knew different. He stood up, following Joel out the front door.

"What did she send you?" John asked loudly, catching Joel's attention.

"Nothing, John. The same thing as everyone else," Joel replied, reaching to open up his car door. John caught the door before he could close it. "Don't worry about it, John. It's not your business."

With his eyebrows raised, John glared. "I'm making it my business, Joel. Just tell me, what does it say?"

Joel sighed loudly as he relaxed into his car seat. "It said three things. That she needs me. An address. And don't tell John."

"Well I should go with you? What if she's not okay? What if something is wrong?"

"She's fine, dude. I mapped the address and it's the wedding chapel they were supposed to get married at. They were supposed to get married already and she forgot, that's why she hasn't been talking to us."

Without replying, John stepped back. He was silent and hurt. Hurt, would be saying the least. He didn't understand why with everything that happened with them, Caris wouldn't tell him those things. Why would she tell Joel?

~

Caris sat in the empty chair, her eyes on the decorations up front. There was a wedding there later that day and as she sat, she watched as workers rushed around, trying to get everything ready. No one really noticed her there, nor did they really care she was there, as long as she wasn't messing anything up, which she wasn't.

She felt horrible, Caris did. She felt completely awful because she forgot that she was supposed to be married already. She was supposed to get married to Nick weeks before, but she forgot. How she forgot was beyond her, she had no idea how it slipped her mind. She only remembered because she received a wedding card in the mail from her great aunt, who apparently hadn't heard that Nick died.

That was days ago, when she started to keep her distance from everyone. She didn't mean to ignore them, she just felt completely terrible. Nick would never do that. He wouldn't forget their wedding day. Even during their anniversaries, he was always the one to remember while Caris had forgotten only twice.

When she texted Joel, she needed him because he was the closest thing to John. She couldn't be around John then, especially because he was part of the main reason she had forgotten they were supposed to get married. She was wrapped up in John and all that he was.

Only about half an hour after she texted Joel, he was sitting next to her. He looked beautiful to Caris, which he always did. No matter what, she always thought Joel was completely beautiful, which she used to tell him all the time.

"You look beautiful," she whispered to him, reaching to grab his hand. "Thank you for coming."

Smiling, Joel nodded. "I'd do anything for you, Cari," he told her. "By the way, you look beautiful also."

"Do you think if Nick were still alive, he and I would be married right now?" she asked, her eyes meeting his.

Almost immediately, Joel said yes. He knew they would be, because he knew how much Nick loved Caris. He loved the girl more than anything, they all knew that and Joel especially knew it. He hated having to watch how Nick loved her and she loved him back. For years, all he wanted was for Caris to feel that way about him... maybe even for anyone to feel that way about him.

"I loved you, Joel," Caris said after a moment of silence. "I loved you so much. I even thought that it would be you and I getting married one day. But then we broke up and I know I probably didn't show it as much as I could've, but it did tear me apart." She pressed her lips together. "I loved you."

"I know, Caris," Joel told her, smiling at him. "I loved you, too."

They sat in silence for a bit longer, just watching as the wedding chapel was set up. A small smile was on Joel's face, as he watched her. She was so in thought and so emerged in the set up, she looked adorable.

"You shouldn't feel bad, Caris," Joel said. "You shouldn't feel bad for forgetting. It means you're moving on, which you and I both know Nick would want that. You need to learn to be happy again. All of us love you to pieces and it hurts us to see you in pain and unhappy." The next thing Joel was about to say would kill him, but he knew he had to do it. "You should let John in, Caris. He uh... he really loves you. He would be good to you... good for you. Don't shut him out."

She didn't reply.

~

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you," Caris told John as they lied on her couch together. His arms were wrapped tight around her, afraid to let her go. "I didn't mean to, I just felt bad about forgetting the wedding. I needed you, but I didn't want admit it because I felt bad."

His hand brushed back some of her hair. "It's okay, Caris. I'm not mad. But uh... what made you call me?"

Shrugging, she placed her hand on his chest, flat against where his heart was. "Joel, believe it or not."

"Why believe it or not?" John asked, laughing barely.

When Caris looked up, she gave him a small shrug. "Because I know he still loves me. He loves me enough to let me be with someone else." John smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. He felt as though her words held a double meaning, he just wasn't sure what. His gaze shifted her to her lips, which made Caris look down and away. "You can't kiss me again, John. We can't kiss again."

"I know."

"It's not right," she murmured lowly.

Reaching down, John pulled her face up to meet his eyes. "It is right, just not right now."

"Can I tell you a secret, John?"

"You can tell me absolutely anything, beautiful."

She smiled. "Whenever I'm in your arms, I feel completely safe. And it terrifies me."

John didn't need to ask why. He knew it scared her. It was because she felt safe with someone other than Nick. And if she felt safe with someone other than him, it was only a few steps away from loving someone other than Nick. His death wasn't too long ago, in the grand spectrum of it all. The last thing John wanted was to rush her feelings. He knew that she needed to get over and move on from Nick in her own time. All he wanted, was for her to know that he'd wait forever for her if he had to.

The conversation was sparse for the rest of the night. It was nice, though, because the two were so comfortable with each other, that they didn't mind. When it was around nine, John left to go get them food. He drove to Jimmy John's and once he ordered, he waited by the counter for their food. As he stood there, the bell above the door dinged, catching John's attention. It was Joel that walked in, his sunglasses perched on his nose.

After he ordered, Joel joined John, smiling at him. "Hey man. How are you?" John asked.

As Joel told him he was fine, the girl making the sandwiches repeated the order back to John. He went to put them in a bag. "For you and Caris?" Joel asked, his voice soft.

John nodded, glancing at him. "I uh, I wanted to thank you for what you said to Caris. Whatever it was... I really appreciate it. It was probably hard for you, so uh... just thanks."

He shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal. I had my chance with her and it ended. But I need you to do something for me, John," Joel said as he began to put his own sandwich in a bag. "I need you to treat her right. I've seen you be an asshole to other girls and you can't do that to Caris. She deserves the world and if you treat her wrong or if you hurt her, I have no problem coming after you. We're friends for life man, but if you hurt her, I'll kill you."

At his words, John let out a short laugh. "If I hurt her, I'll hand you the gun myself."