Forever

After my dream, I was crushed. I considered going to talk to Pastor Terrance, but I figured there was no way to explain what had happened. Instead, I just wallowed about in my bedroom. I consumed little amounts of food and I didn’t talk for the whole of four days. The last two, my parents and brother had come home from his hockey tournament and had pestered me non-stop until they realized I just wouldn’t say a thing. My mother kept fretting about me having an episode. Those were pretty common, but I actually had no idea what they were. To me, they were just lapses of lost time. No one told me what happened when they occurred, in fear that it would overwhelm me. All I know is that my psychiatrist described them as “psychotic breakdowns”.

It was a bit daunting.

I once heard them discussing sending me to an actual mental institution. Not just a suicidal center but an insane asylum. I did not want that at all, for obvious reasons.

They’d begun after Twitch left and had worsened as the years went by. I felt like his presence had sort of fried my brain, in a way. Like, he’d been there and had helped me grow and conform to him so that when he ripped himself away, I was left with a hole burnt in my mind that altered the rest of my functions.

But I speak as if he were real. I’d often considered the fact that I might have actually been psycho and he was only a figment of schizophrenia. The first seeds of these thoughts were planted in my mind about two years after his departure. I’d taken numerous Psychology and Human Behavior classes in order to support my theory but half of it made sense and the rest did not.

There was just something so off about it all.

Yet my dream had felt so real, as contradictory as it may be. And when I’d felt that thing leave when I’d woken up, I was so sure it was him that there wasn’t even another possibility for me to fathom.

Even still, perhaps my dream had only been that: a dream. He could still very well be real and my imagination had just recreated him, in need for some sort of affection that only he could provide.

But after the fact, I thought even more about how plausible it was that I could be legitimately insane.

It wasn’t hard to believe.

My thoughts were making my heart ache and throb. Nonetheless, a surge of anger rang through me. No matter if he was real or not, I was still infuriated by the chain of events having to do with him.

I was filled with spite and sought any way to hurt him for what he’d done to me.



Things at school had not changed for me. Boys were still pigs and girls still hated my guts. I decided against discussing this with the pastor anymore on my visits because it only upset him. I was dealing with sexual harassment and bullying and I’d asked him to stay quiet. He did, but only because I pleaded with him almost every time I saw him. I was grateful every day that he kept to his word; I knew it was hard. I still hadn’t gone to see him and it’d been a few hours short of a whole week since he showed up again. I thought about it constantly and others were noticing my vacant moments as I saw those black eyes whilst also remembering the sweet touch of his fingers. It was an odd combination that disturbed me and comforted me all at once.

My memories also continued to fuel the monster in which had been created by Twitch and his cruel actions. I wanted to hit him and such, but more than that, I wanted to do something that would stab a hole right where his heart should’ve been. I still loved him endlessly, but he’d cheated me and he didn’t seem to care. He could’ve changed drastically to the person I spent every waking hour with years ago. Even worse, he may never have cared in the first place. For all I knew, his words in my dream were a mere set up so that I’d drop my panties for him.

I was ashamed to say that I still would.

Even worse, I was left feeling a bit…aroused, for lack of a better term.

He was attracted to me.

He found me sexy enough to even consider as a lover.

He found me sexy!

Thoughts of his requited adoration made me giddy, counteracting my utter hurt. It made me desire attention from someone. I was worth something. I never realized how valuable I was before Twitch came back. Boys wanted me…men wanted me. I was wanted, damn it, and I was going to accept it.

I came to this conclusion at school on a Friday, in my math studies class. Conveniently, it was the class in which I had with a boy named Charlie, who religiously asked me to go on a date with him at the end of every week. Being as shy and afraid as I am, I constantly fired back with a polite declination, but this time around, I had other plans.

“Marilyn, oh Marilyn!” Charlie’s voice called out as he approached my desk, as expected.

He placed his palms on the wood laminate finish and stared me right in the eyes when the girl in the seat to my right smacked her gum and drawled, “Charlie, why are you askin’ her again? You know her answer. It doesn’t change.”

“It’s just tradition, Eva. There’s a schedule and it’s just a rule now to ask the beautiful Marilyn Harper out every Friday. Isn’t that right, Lyn?” his attention turned to me as he addressed me with most popular nickname at school. I only gazed, doe-eyed back. “Well, it is, just like it’s a known fact that you’ll call me out every time I ask because you are pissed that you’re flat and Lyn’s not. You’re jealous that I’d take her out and not you.”

“Whatever, Charles,” Eva scoffed.

“So, anyway,” his hazel irises lock back onto mine and I began to realize how pretty they were, “Whaddya say we have some dinner tonight? I’m buyin’.”

“I’d love to,” I respond without missing a beat.

At my few words, the room seemed to freeze. All ears were fixated on us. He blinked those lovely eyes a few times. “What?”

“I’d love to have dinner with you, Charles. That is, if you’re serious.”

He shook his head as if from a haze and a grin crept onto his face. “O-of course. Tonight then? I mean, I’m supposed to go to Jackson’s party tonight, but I can definitely bail.”

“Why not, let’s do both?” I smile at him when I understand how genuinely excited he is. I figured he’d be a cocky pig about it, like I imagined most boys would if they succeeded with me, but he wasn’t. Perhaps they were not all so bad.

“I-I’ll pick you up at six then.”

“Sounds good. I assume you need my address?” I didn’t bother for his answer; rather, I just tore out a pink piece of paper from the same pad book I’d been using since I was a little girl. Not coincidentally, this was the same kind in which was the medium of Twitch’s note. I scrawled out my information in neat cursive, folded it up and placed it in Charlie’s awaiting hand.

I found a new sense of womanliness when I saw his cheeks redden slightly. Who knew I could ever cause someone to blush just by handing them a piece of paper? Even though his usual stomping ground was in the back of every class, he hesitantly situated himself beside me in the first row.

The rest of class, I felt like a queen. It was obvious that absolutely no one could get their mind off of the fact that I accepted an offer for once. Charlie kept sneaking shameless glances at me and the confidence boost I got from it was refreshing. I guess the only person I had to thank was Twitch, but thinking about him wavered my stature and I refused to let him bring me down. I sought to prove myself strong enough to live and go on without him.

Charlie waved at me every time he saw me that day and it was clear that he’d been bragging, as eyes followed me everywhere, even more than usual. I wasn’t sure that I liked it since half of them were glaring, but I couldn’t say that I hated it, either.

I thought about calling my mother and telling her about Charlie and everything, as they had again left for another hockey tournament that weekend, but I figured it was best she didn't knowWhen I’d finally gotten home, I already started on an outfit. Where was he taking me? What did girls wear on dates? What were you supposed to do on dates in the first place? I didn’t read many modern books and I definitely had not seen enough movies to relate anything so I was truly struggling.

I decided to dress well, as I couldn’t see how sophistication would ever be wrong. A simple, pink, and poufy skirt with a floral patterned and collared shirt sufficed. I pulled on some stockings and my usual Mary Jane’s. A white cardigan and a set of pearl earrings and a necklace finished off my look.

I stared in the mirror, analyzing myself. What about me was sexy? Sure, my bottom was “quality”, but what made me different from any other girl with a behind? My eyes looked dead and they drooped far too much for my liking on my lower lid. They were obnoxiously enormous and disproportionate, in my opinion. I had a pig nose, too. My mother said it was merely upturned and not that of a snout, but I hated it. My upper lip didn’t fit either. It was a noticeably larger than its counterpart, giving me a perpetual look of wonder that was really quite the pain. My chest was a meager a-cup and I had the body of a pear. Most annoyingly, there was a constant layer of sore skin between my thighs from the chaffing I received just from walking as they rubbed against each other in the Louisiana heat.

I would’ve said that I dressed like a nun comparatively to the other girls of my age, but I wasn’t really sure. I lacked enough evidence to go off of from daily life. I didn’t go out much as it is, and I definitely never went to gatherings of any sort with my peers, but whenever I did, I saw girls in revealing clothes that wouldn’t be worn on even my dead body. I was much too shy and self-conscious.

I chose not to think about the fact that I was, in a way, cheating on Twitch…because in all reality, I wasn’t. He’d probably been with hundreds of women since he left and I hadn’t even looked at another guy. If he was going to drop by and act heartbroken just to leave, then I believed that I had a right to be angry and it gave me just enough motivation to try and move on. A part of me knew I never would, but that was irrelevant, or so I told myself in order not to let it stop me from trying.

I thought about Charlie’s eyes as I brushed out my long, blonde hair. The process alone took only a few minutes, what with the thinness of my hair, despite how abnormal the length was. I touched up the curls by heating up Velcro rollers at the end and fastened a ribbon around my head, tying a little bow on top. I couldn’t imagine this is what most girls looked like for a date, but I suppose I wasn’t most girls.

Walking lightly as usual, I stepped onto the ivory carpet of the upstairs hallway. The same carpet flowed down the curved stairway into the foyer. Depending on the metal handrail for balance with my shaky knees, I made my way to the living room.

The time wasn’t even five ‘o clock and I was antsy and nervous beyond belief. Why on Earth had I agreed to him? I began to second guess myself and my decisions as I sat on the white couch. My eyes focused upon the wall clock as if to will it to speed up so I didn’t have to wait another second.

Without thinking, my legs shot my body back up and brought me into the kitchen. Just as mindlessly, I pulled out everything I would need to make strawberry cupcakes. When everything had been prepared and I had placed the metal tray into the oven, I grabbed a medium sized sticky note pad and a pen to try and doodle away the baking time.

The thoughts buzzing around in my skull were screaming at me.

What would Twitch think if he knew you were betraying him like this?

He told me to move on in his note and that’s what I’m trying to do.

And then Twitch began to scream at me instead.

“They’ll never love you like I do.”

“It’s supposed to be you and I. You’re mine and you always will be.”

“My heart is faithfully yours. Isn’t your heart faithfully mine? Why are you doing this to me? To us? I love you, babygirl. Don’t you love me?”

Tears were flowing out of my eyes as my hand scribbled wildly against the unfortunate paper when the timer went off. The shrill sound woke me up from a trance of sorts that I’d fallen into with my self-torture. And I’m not sure I wanted to wake up because when I did, I found an image I’d much rather forget. Instead of the angry markings I assumed would cover the sticky note, deep, dark and black eyes dripping with tears looked back up at me. They were the same pair from my dream…Twitch’s eyes. The most shaded areas were torn from pressure, infecting the sheet beneath it.

They sucked me in and I hadn’t the ability to look away. They were far too dark for my light nature, yet still entrancingly gorgeous. I came to the understanding that if he was something supernatural, he was still my Twitchy and he was still a beautiful person to me, as he always would be.

The sweet smell of baking food had engulfed the rooms of my house like delicious and toxic gas for far too long before a burning stench replaced it ruthlessly. The stinging it brought to my eyes again pulled me from my own mind and I hastily grabbed the gingham mitts to pull out the charred desserts. All six of the pink cupcakes had turned a crispy black and for some reason, I began to weep again.

I couldn’t go out like this. I had to call it off. I had to.

I scurried to the home phone which hung against the pale blue, striped wallpaper, ripped it from the dock and poised my finger to punch in his number…until realized I didn’t have it. I either had to send him back on his way when he came to the door or buck up and take it.

Being the ever so polite girl I had been raised to be, I felt the duty to endure the latter.

Not long after I had successfully shut every window I’d opened to release the smoky air, the doorbell rang loudly throughout the large house.

Feeling a wave of last minute panicking, I ran to the bathroom just outside of the living room to make sure I was presentable. I was pleased to find that my eyes were not red and puffy and all that remained was the slight dryness beneath my lower lids from my long gone tears. I merely wiped at them once and was left only with the perpetual purple hue from lack of sleep.

Falsely confident, I strutted to the door. An excessive amount of air found its way into my lungs as I took a deep breath in hopes to calm myself. Realizing that I’d never truly be calm, I went ahead and slowly opened the door and peeked my head around to be sure it was Charlie. When I saw the wide-eyed look on his face as he assessed me, I blushed and stepped out entirely. Shyly, my toes turned inward and I looked up through my lashes at him. He loomed over me, naturally, as I was so short and because he was a senior boy and boys were always taller than I was. For once, I was not threatened by this.

“Hey.” His eyes were wide as they shifted from me to scanning what he could see of the inside of my home. “You’re house is crazy neat. I didn’t know you lived in such a nice place.” His eyes directed themselves back to my own. “And of course, you look somethin’ pretty, as usual.”

“Thanks,” I responded, cheeks darkening even more.

“So, you-uh-ready to go?”

“Yes, I suppose.” I grinned as I exited my home and locked the door behind me. “Hey, do you think we could skip dinner tonight and just go to that party?” I figured the best way to feel better about the whole Twitch ordeal was to avoid the aspect of an actual date.

“You know, I was lookin’ forward to that part, but in all honesty, I’m kinda glad you called it off. I tried to get a last minute reservation at just about every nice restaurant we had within fifty miles, but none of them were available, at least the ones that sounded appetizing anyway. I was hoping you had an idea because the best I had was the Coney Island downtown.”

“Y-You…you were looking forward to it? To buying me dinner?” I questioned, dumbstruck. I was still appalled that he was dead serious about this date. I figured he was always just being a clown.

“Well, yeah…You’re Marilyn Harper.”

I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I chose not to ask right then. I was preoccupied by his actual interest in me as a person rather than an ideal sexual partner.

“I can’t believe that…” I whispered, almost to myself.

He gave a breathy laugh and smirked at me. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want to.”

“Now I feel terrible. I’m sorry I disappointed you, Charlie. I was excited as well, but then I burnt the cupcakes I was baking and it upset me and I began to rethink everything for some silly reason and—”

“You don’t want to have dinner with me because you burnt cupcakes?”

“Yes. But no. I would so enjoy dinner with you, it’s just I’m nervous because I’m a bit new to this and…well, I’ll just stop now before I embarrass myself anymore.” My eyes were then cast downwards. I was deeply mortified.

“Let’s go get some food, Marilyn. We’re both nervous and so we’ll be nervous together.” His hand was gently thrust out towards me and, with a peek up at him, I placed my fingers in his and he led me to his truck. It was rather clunky and I could tell that it made him self-conscious as it seemed extraordinarily beat up as it sat on the classic winding driveway to my upscale plantation-style home.

He had to help me up into the car as I was far too small to make the step myself, which gained us some giggles. After he had closed the passenger door, he ran around to his side and twisted the ignition.

If I was to be completely honest, I was slightly turned on by the way his tongue poked out when she shifted the car into reverse and backed out. I was acutely aware of his hand gripping the corner of my seat to steady himself as he faced his body as far to the back as he could.

I was staring blatantly at his face when he turned his head to ask me, “Where do you wanna go?”

“What was that place you said before?”

“The Coney Island?”

“Yes! I’ve never been to one of those before. What is it?”

The look he gave me was entirely surprised. “You’ve never been to a Coney before?”
“No…is that unusual?”

“Well, a bit, yeah, but I doubt you’re the only one.”

“Oh, ok. I’m glad you’re taking me, then.” No words were spoken after that as we traveled through the dense trees. I lived quite literally in the middle of nowhere, miles away from any sort of life other than that of plants and forest animals.

As if on cue to my thoughts, he broke the uncomfortable silence. “It took me forever to find your house. You live in probably the most remote place on Earth,” he chuckles, which, in turn, causes me to as well. “I mean, that’s not a bad thing, though. At least none of the hood rats are messing with you guys.”

“The hood rats?” I laughed heartily at that, and it was a sound I had no familiarity with.

Charlie’s grin was ear-to-ear. “Yeah, that what my dad calls the neighborhood kids who play tricks on people and cause trouble.”

“What a funny term.” I laughed again. I loved the feeling of laughing genuinely. I suppose my brother made me laugh sometimes, but I was generally secluded in my home. This was the first time I’d opened up to someone in the least bit.

“It is kinda funny, huh?” he winked and my cheeks heated up for what seemed like the millionth time. My only response was a shy nod.

After that, we were quiet for most of the ride; both seemingly still scared to talk to the other. My time was mainly spent trying to convince myself that Twitch would never find out and that it didn’t matter even if he did. I wasn’t cheating on him because he was gone and I needed to live my own life. I really enjoyed Charlie’s company and it was high-time that I accepted that.

By the time we arrived at the small diner, I had successfully rid my mind of thoughts of back-stabbing and broken hearts, entirely ready to have a nice meal with Charlie Jacob.

He was quick to hop out of the car and open my door. Once again, he placed his large hands on my waist to assist me in jumping down from the small step. I really liked the feeling of someone touching me, to be honest. I yearned for his hands to stay on me and when he pulled away, I unthinkingly snatched his fingers and held onto them tightly, as if he would run away. Quite the opposite, he beamed at me instead and adjusted our grip so that he could wrap his hand fully around my own. We only let go when we’d gotten to our table and he’d moved to pull out my chair.

The waitress introduced herself and handed us menus. I grabbed mine, but did not open it. After a moment, Charlie spoke, “Do you know what you’re getting?”

“No…” I blinked my long lashes and met his eye contact.

“Have you even taken a look at the options?” He chuckled and I was pleased to see the amused but warm look in his hazel eyes.

“No…” I bit my lip. “I’m just observing the place. Like I said, I’ve never been here before. I rarely ever eat out, and if I do, it’s at the Red Lobster.”

“Red Lobster…I’ll have to remember that.” He winked again.

I looked down with a smile and finally opened up the laminated list of food. I didn’t know what half of them were; I was used to fancy foods with fancy names. “What should I get? I have no idea what these even are…Like, what is a ge-row?”

“A gyro?” He raised a dark eyebrow.

“Yeah, that.”

“It’s actually pretty good. It’s like, lamb slices on really thick pita bread with this weird lookin’ sauce all over it. I like it, I guess.”

“And fish and chips? What kind of fish? Mahi-mahi? Salmon?”

The look he gave me was quizzical and before I knew it he was laughing. “It’s not even close to that fancy. It’s breaded cod fish with French fries.”

“Do you like that one as well?”

“It’s one of my favorites, actually.”

“Then I’ll have it.” I declared, proudly.

“Okay then,” he answered with the same inflection. “Do you want to share in case you don’t like it?”

“That sounds like a pretty good idea. I can be a picky eater.”

Just in time, the waitress came back to ask us what we’d like to drink and we decided to order our dinner at the same time. Within only a minute or so, she brought our beverages to us, for him, a Diet Coke and me, lemonade.

“I’m really glad you came with me tonight, Lyn.” He said, bashfully.

“I’m glad you weren’t joking. I always figured you were just being a clown when you’d ask.”

“Like I said before, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to because…I mean, what if you did accept and I was only playing? Then I’d feel like an ass for being so careless and hurting your feelings when I told you I didn’t actually want to go out.”

“It’s just weird to me that someone’s interested in me for me and not…I don’t know…my body or whatever.”

“Not gonna lie, you’re crazy hot, Lyn, but just as honestly, I don’t know a single guy that wouldn’t pay just to talk to you. That’s why so many people were shocked today. I mean…I never expected you’d say yes to me. It became something of a joke to me to be rejected by you because at least I had the courage to try and talk to you, y’know?”

“Thank you for respecting me, Charlie. Even if they just want to talk to me, they have terrible ways of trying to get my attention.”

“I’m sorry about that. Really…” what he said next made my heart flutter. “Maybe, if this works out like I hope it does, they won’t even bug you because they know you’re off limits.”

I stared at him. I would never get over the fact that he wanted something to “work out” between us…like, for real. His cheeks reddened more for each second that I didn’t speak until he decided it was best to gaze intently at his straw.

“I hope this works out well, too,” I murmured. “You’re very sweet.” And amazingly handsome

He really was, though. He had short, dark brown hair that was choppy and it made him look irresistibly roguish. I never got a good look at what he wore on his lower half, but I knew he wore an army-style, gray jacket that unfortunately covered his toned soccer body.

That reminded me… he was captain of the soccer team.

I was one a date with a popular senior who was authentically drawn to me.

My mind had been so focused on my ulterior motives that I’d ignored the one thing that any other female would not forget for a second.

Oh Lord, I was going to get hated on by those girls at school for this.

“Well then I guess we’re on the same page.” The grin on his face lit up my heart in the most unusual way.

Thankfully, as I had no idea how to respond, our food was laid out on the middle of the table. It looked delicious.

I didn’t even wait for him to grab one of the French fries and bite into it. I was surprised that I’d never eaten this kind of thing before. I had been missing out! There was no hesitation is trying the fish either.

He just chuckled as I unattractively scarfed down the somewhat exotic food, not caring in the slightest what he thought of it because the taste was beyond compare.

Funnily enough, he replied almost directly to my thoughts. It was the second time that night and it made me start to believe he could read minds. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this attracted to a woman in my entire life.”

“Well, prepare to spill over with lust when I say that I could eat another plate.”

He burst out in hysterical laughs and I was instantly filled with immense joy. It’d been a long time since I’d been this happy and had so much fun. I never wanted the night to end.

“I’m sorry I didn’t save a lot for you,” I apologized as I dabbed daintily at my face after I’d swallowed the last fry.

“Believe me, that’s just fine. I can eat something at the party,” he looked at his watch, “which has just started about thirty minute ago, by the way. Do you still wanna go with me?”

“Of course!” I squeal, almost too excitedly.

“Then go with me you shall.”

As we waited for the check, he brought up something I did not expect. “So, um…a while ago, my friend, Ryan, told me you supposedly had something going on with an older guy…is this true?”

I blinked several times, totally in shock. Where in the world had that come from. “Um… Yes, it’s true.” His eyes cut up at me. “But he’s been gone for a while now and I don’t think he’s ever going to come back.”

“Oh, ok,” he sighed as if a weight had been lifted form his shoulders.

There was an uncomfortable silence as he paid the check. In attempt to loosen the tight air, I once again held his hand as we left the building. He bit his lip with a smile, so I safely assumed that it worked.

But sooner rather than later, we hit another speed bump. He went to lift me back up into the truck, but I slipped a tiny bit on the step and he had to steady me. However, in doing so, his hand had ended right on my behind, making us both freeze. I looked down at him when he didn’t go to move it to see his eyes were focused on it as well.

Only a second or so later, he shook himself from the trance he appeared to be in. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

As I sat down and buckled myself in, I was grateful that he was polite enough to recognize what he had done, but, in truth, I didn’t mind it nearly as much as he seemed to think I did. In fact, it was kind of nice. I was washed over with sympathy when he got in to the driver’s seat, unable to meet my gaze. I didn’t know what to say to solace his discomfort, so I allowed silence to overtake the whole ride to Jackson’s house.

When the car was parked on the curbside, he sat awkwardly for moment, clearly unsure of what to do. Instead of making him suffer, I whispered, “Thank you so much for tonight.” Following my words, I placed a delicate kiss to his cheek.

I pulled a several inches away to look at him when he snapped his head towards me in surprise. Without warning, He grabbed my face and pressed our lips together. I was completely thrown off, but that didn’t mean I was complaining.

He separated us and told me bashfully, “I didn’t plan on doin’ that.”

I was awestruck by his pretty face as it was lit up gently by the streetlights. It called only for a glimpse of the many shadows caused by his angled features for me to lean back into him with a bit more ferocity than before.

It was then that I remembered Twitch when I internally thanked him for teaching me how to kiss in the first place.

Oddly enough, I didn’t care. Twitch was the last of my worries. I was more scared that Charlie would break us apart.

Eventually, however, we did, and he beamed at me. “That was awesome.”

“Yes, it was.” I combed my fingers through his hair once more. “Let’s go inside.”

We shared another quick kiss before heading towards the sound of thumping music. My body pressed tightly against his when he wrapped his arm around my waist. As expected, everyone we passed gawked at what they saw.

The floor of the house was littered with cups and trash and I had to take ginger steps in order not to step on anything as Charlie walked me through the crowded living room to the backyard where I assumed his friends were. Surely enough, a familiar group of senior boys waved him over. I tensed.

I had no desire to go anywhere near the four skunk-smelling guys who had tried to rape me. I knew they wouldn’t dare at the moment, since so many people were around, but nonetheless, I had a reason to be afraid of them.

“No, no, no. I don’t want to go over there,” I told Charlie.

“What? Why?” he inquired.

“Please, I don’t want to, Charlie. Don’t make me.”

“Ok, babe, but just let me say hello to my friends and we will do whatever you want.”

Figuring it was a fair compromise, I agreed. My body flinched as they howled at us. Charlie was unable to recognize my discontent as he was too amused by their raucous behavior. I think he wanted to show me off, which in any other case, wouldn’t exactly be a bad thing. But for obvious reasons, this was not my first choice of crowd.

“How’d you talk her into hanging out with a douche like yourself?” Gregory laughed and I recalled the disgusting sensation of his lips on my neck. I watched Craig hand Charlie a drink of some sort to which he immediately took a sip of.

“I dunno, man…How did I get you to come here with me, Lyn?” Like so many other times that evening, he flashed me his adorable smile, yet I couldn’t appreciate it anymore…not when I was breathing the same air as those sick pigs.

“I…um…have to go to the bathroom.” I didn’t wait for his response and rushed inside. A few people laughed at my frantic attitude as I searched for a restroom.

Suddenly, I had a sick feeling come over me. I felt like I was being watched…and not just glanced at by the people I zipped past, but rather someone who spotted me and was eyeing me like a hawk. In fear that the intensity of the moment would cause me to have an episode or an attack, I knew I had to get away somehow. I had zero success in locating a bathroom, so my second best option was upstairs where the population was far less dense. Fortunately, the nausea faded when I’d made me way out of sight of whomever this person was, but I felt as if their stare had burned a whole right through me and poisoned my blood. The sickness was indeed gone, but I was abruptly and severely depressed to the point where my body was stripped of strength and I had to steady myself against the wall.

Breathing hard, I found a door slightly ajar past which I could see a mirror and sink inside. As if I were drowning and the room was the surface, I made my way to it as fast as my legs could carry me. The second I’d slammed the door behind me, I began throwing up. I hated to throw up. Once I’d finally emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet, I flushed it down disgustedly and rinsed out my mouth with the faucet. I needed to go home. I was not a stable enough person to handle something such as a party. If Charlie wanted to stay, I’d call a cab to come pick me up.

Lethargically, I stepped back out into the hall. Rubbing my eyes, I looked up from the caramel colored hardwood flooring to meet the sinister gazes of Gregory and Ronnie.

“There you are!” Ronnie simpered. “We’ve been looking for you. Ol’ Charles was worried and we insisted that we were the ones to check on you.”

My eyes began to water. I had no one to save me this time, and by the look in their eyes, they were going to finish what they’d started all that while ago. They didn’t even bother to try and convince me they were telling the truth before Gregory grabbed me and yanked me in to the nearest room. I would say it looked like a guest room of sorts, due to the lack of design, but I couldn’t be sure as my eyes began to blur with tears. I started to scream, but like before, my mouth was held shut as they pinned me to the bed.

“Shut up.” Gregory ordered and letting go of my face to smack me once after he’d straddled my stomach. It was just long enough for me to cry for help until he’d grabbed ahold of my cheeks roughly. “Look at me.” I refused to open my eyes. “I said look at me, bitch!” This time, in fear, I obliged. “You’d better keep your pretty little mouth shut or it’s only gonna be worse for you. If you stay quiet like a good whore, we’ll treat you nice. If not? Well, we’re going to show you exactly why you should never disobey us again.”

I nodded with a whimper. I had no way to get out of this. The music was too loud and no one even liked me enough to save me other than Charlie, who was probably still outside.

Never had I wanted Twitch more in my entire life. I was stupid to think I could live without him. He was my savior.

They’d successfully taken my dress off and were heading for my panties when the door slammed open. “What the fuck are you two doing?!” The voice was inhumanly scary. It was a deep, growling and hellish sound. I couldn’t see well past my tears and dizziness from my returning vertigo, but I saw the dark figure rip them both away at once and throw them at the far wall with a loud thump. “Don’t you dare fucking touch her ever again!”

The voice had become slightly more recognizable, and I felt like I knew it from somewhere, but my lack of equilibrium prevented me from discovering any more than that. I dumbly watched, my vision fully blurred as the figure hit one of the boys repeatedly. To my horrific pleasure, I heard him break both of his hands and snarl, “Maybe now you know not to fuck with something that isn’t yours.”

I tried to smile at that. He might be scary, whoever this man was, but he was making my almost-rapist cry like a baby and I couldn’t help but be thankful. He was a vicious angel sent from God.

I wasn’t sure which it was, but the other boy had started to regain his balance and began to run from the room just as his friends howls began to subside as my angel hopefully beat him to unconsciousness. Worried that he’d get away, I made a aching sound in order to get my angel’s attention. Like I knew he would, he effortlessly heard me and spun around. Even though he was an enormous blob in my sight, I could nearly see the air around him soften as he focused on me. His voice was like music as it spoke oh-so-gently, “What is it, princess?” I weakly pointed to the door and I was sure he knew exactly what I was trying to tell him as he once again growled from somewhere beneath this earth and ran out to avenge me further.

As I heard the music cut short and shouting ensue as well as more pounding and cracking sounds, I began to wallow in bliss.

I knew that voice. I knew it. I still wasn’t clear enough to name it, but the sound of it made my heart pound and I only wanted to hear more of it. I wanted it to sing to me. I wanted it whisper in my ear and most of all I wanted it to tell me just how much my angel loved me.

My angel.

My heaven.

My stars

Not soon enough, he returned to me. I was swooped up into his arms like a child and he rocked me, cooing, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. You’ll be okay.” Tears poured from my eyes like rain as I gripped onto him as tightly as my weak state would let me. “You’re okay now, babygirl. It’s all gonna be okay. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.” Lips pressed against my forehead as he repeated. “I’ll keep you safe.”

His face moved just far enough away that I could see big, neon green circles staring right back at me as I felt myself slipping under.

I touched his cheek shakily, “Forever?”

“Forever.”