Forever

“Oh fuck, I think I went once a long time ago. Why, do you wanna go to one?”

“Yeah, I know there is a big fair just outside of town for Mardi Gras season. I’ve never been, so it could be fun.” The entirety of my school seemed to love it, based on how they talked. Lucas even enjoyed it. I’d never gone because I never had a reason, and even if I did, my social anxiety would cripple me. However, being with Twitch would cure all that, I thought.

“Mardi Gras season? What’s the date?”

“February 13th. How do you not know the date?”

He didn’t answer my question and his eyes grew in size. “You mean to tell me tomorrow is the 14th, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes.”

“And also marking a month and eight days until your birthday on March 22nd?”

Despite my surprise that he remembered my birthday, I chuckled, “Yes. Are you finished?”

“Hardly! What the hell. I have to take you somewhere tomorrow or something.”

“I don’t require that as a girlfriend, but if you insist, that can be figured out later. Do you wanna go to this fair or not?”

“Sure—yeah, of course. Let’s do it.”

Once on the road, I peeked over at him to see his eyes blankly locked forward. Instinctively, my fingertips touched the side of his thigh, gently sliding up to rest my entire hand as well. I saw his head nod down as he acknowledged it and then flick to the left to look at me. “Are you all right? You’ve been acting odd all day, but back at the church you really caught me off guard.”

“I’m fine. Sometimes I’m…I was just nervous about meeting someone so special to you, is all.” I saw through his statement, but I let it slide, knowing full well Twitch wouldn’t tell me information unless he wanted me to know it.

I veered the conversation off a bit, “Someone who was special to me. I couldn’t care less about that creep at this point.” My eyes caught the uncertainty in his expression as he processed what I said. In light of the fact that I actually cared a lot about Pastor Terrance, I wasn’t surprised that he saw past my façade like I did his, as he never failed to do.

“You’re allowed to be sad about this, ma belle.” My heart panged at his French endearment. It’d been a long time since I’d last heard him speak something like that to me. “This man was important to you, and although I don’t like him much, I understand completely if this upsets you.”

“How’s your hand?” I avoided.

“Good, actually. I don’t feel anything at all,” he said. “Let me take a quick look.” I hissed inwardly as he peeled the wrap back enough to inspect the wound, but found nothing other than slightly irritated skin. “It’s almost completely gone.”

He began to pull off the fabric, but I smacked his leg with the hand I had yet to move. “Keep it on just a little longer. It may heal fast, but it hasn’t fully healed yet. We’ll take it off when we get at the fairgrounds.”

“Okay, babydoll,” he obliged, lifting my hand and entwining our fingers much like they were on the way to the church earlier.

I remained to be a little spooked, for lack of a better word, as to how his body was able to repair itself so effortlessly. Nonetheless, I shook it off. It just meant he’d feel less pain, and that was most important to me.

We weren’t far from the outskirts of New Orleans, so the drive to the fair was short. We filled the time with pointless chitchat about my success as a junior in high school.

“Is it stressful?”

“Not any more than usual, I don’t believe. I’ve never had something to distract me from my schoolwork, so it makes it easy for me to stay on track.”

Just then, a smirk crept on his face and before I knew it he was leaned over the console with his lips on my neck. The car swerved a tiny bit in response. “So I’m not a distraction?” he whispered huskily in my ear just preceding my hand colliding with his chest to shove him away.

I giggled, “Don’t get ahead of yourself now, hot-shot.”

His reply was a laugh that plastered a smile on my face just from hearing it. I was elated that his melancholia seemed to subside. My hand found his again; I had to let go earlier in order to stabilize the wheel when he startled me.

When we reached the vast grassland used as a parking lot, however, I was suddenly struck in fear by the amount of cars. I disregarded the terrorized sensation as I found a space to park toward the back. When I pulled the keys from the ignition and unbuckled myself (he didn’t have to because it was apparent he condemned the use of seatbelts, despite my requests) I turned to him, holding out my palm. “Let’s take a look at that hand.”

Unsurprisingly yet still uncomforting, there were no traces of a burn aside from the blood on the gauze and the heat that stayed trapped under it. Knowing my fingers were almost always cold, I gently pressed the tips onto the pinkish skin. As I attempted to cool it, I started to obsess over my surroundings, analyzing and estimating the number of people who might be in the fairgrounds. Each car probably held at least two or more people, so I mentally doubled up, resulting in a crippling conclusion of there being just too many bodies for my comfort. I panicked, my social anxiety at full force.

My hands began to shake and my breathing became irregular and labored. A frog crept into my throat as if I was going to cry, but no tears welled. Anxiety swept over my body like a bucket of acid as I spotted two girls from my school walk past in the rearview mirror. Twitch questioned my behavior desperately, and when he realized I wasn’t paying attention to him I was instantly pulled into his arms. “Babygirl, c’mere,” I crawled over so that I straddled his lap, tucking my arms to my chest and my face into the crook of his neck. “What’s the matter?”

“I-I don’t think I can do it.”

“Do what?” His hold around my body tightened as if to pacify my shuddering.

“Go to this fair. Th-there are so many people here and I’m f-frightened.”

He let out a heavy sigh, “We don’t have to go if you don’t want, but I’m gonna tell you something right now. None of these people matter. It’s just you and me. Whatever they have that is scaring you so much is insignificant because you and I will have a great time if we go.”

“What if they tease me?”

“Who?”

“Everyone.”

He kissed the side of my head and replied, “Then I’ll just have to beat the fuck out of them all.”

A small chuckle snuck through my dreadful feelings. “That’s not possible.”

“You’d be surprised, dollface. You’d be surprised,” He waited a moment before continuing, “If you’re too nervous, we don’t have to do this.”

“But you want to, don’t you?”

“Sure, I’d like to, but it really doesn’t matter to me. We could stay in this car here all night and I’d still be happy,” he stated, his voice like medication.

“Me too,” I whispered. Increasingly calmed from his healing embrace, I began to contemplate his words. My thoughts seriously toyed with the idea of just staying in the car and then they shifted to the things we could do to pass the time. All of a sudden, I became aware of the placement of my hips as a slight pain grew between my spread thighs. He was clueless as he held me in his arms whilst my mind enamored itself in lustful thoughts. I wondered if it was common to make love in a car.

My hands had stopped shaking from anxiety and only slightly quivered with my unexpected impatience for him. I ran them up to his shoulders and down to his stomach, reveling in the intense attraction I felt. He hummed quietly as if to tell me he liked it, so I moved my touch to his sides and back to his chest, grazing the lean muscles underneath his thin jumper. Going with my gut, I placed kisses to his jaw all the way to his lips.

When I slowly yanked the zipper of his hoodie down, he let out muffled sounds of protest, but it was clear his defenses were weak. It took nothing more than a simple shush to quiet his resistance. My eager hands made an attempt at sneaking up under his white “Highway 1” t-shirt as his fell to my upper thighs, but in doing so, I ghosted over the band of his black jeans. Just the single moment of contact had me reeling. There was no teasing or preparation before I went to work on the buckle of his low-hanging belt; I was too excited to wait.

I should’ve known he would stop me just as the heat turned up. “Fuck, princess, we can’t do this here.”

I crashed our lips again and spoke in breaths. “There’s a hotel nearby, I think.”

He pushed me away and rested his forehead to mine. “As much as I want that, now is still not the time. The time will come, and it’s going to be fucking amazing, but it’s not tonight.”

Exasperated, I leaned back and exhaled loudly, “Fine.”

As he fumbled to fasten his belt again, I noticed his flourishing “excitement” down below. I pointed it out to him with a giggle.

“Oh, I know it. I am very aware,” With his hands counteractively rubbing my legs, he added whilst closing his eyes, “Let me think of something really disgusting for a second.”

I watched in amused silence as his expression contorted into absolute revulsion to whatever it was he imagined.

I waited to ask, “Did it work? It looks like it.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good,” I snickered once more and hopped out of the car.



The whispers and stares were immediate. Yet, walking hand-in-hand with someone like Twitch had its perks when it came to all that. I wasn’t taunted or teased because my boyfriend was menacing in his own special way, I guess. I thought it was all sexy, but he was definitely intimidating. Though, I say it like there was a lot of attention on us to begin with . . . There really wasn’t. At least not at the time. The place was full, but many of them were people who didn’t even know me and didn’t care.

The sun was already setting, and I was glad. The bright, colorful lights adorning almost every structure were mesmerizing to me as the sky became dark and they, in turn, were more defined. The sounds of excitement and loud, carnival-like music filled the sweetened air. I could see why my parents never brought me to one of these. There was a lot of commotion and without Twitch, I’m sure I would’ve panicked under the pressure. I squeezed his hand to silently thank him for giving me such an opportunity just by existing around me.

“What’s a funnel cake?” I blurted, noticing a food stand in resemblance of a train car, its roof accessorized by a neon sign.

“Where do you see that?” Twitch asked, so I pointed to the large sign reading “funnel cakes” and “lemonade” in all caps.

Without a word, he quickened his pace, dragging me towards the smell. “What are you doing?”

“Getting a funnel cake. Let’s go.”

We waited in the short line for about a minute before we got to order one of the cakes with powdered sugar and a medium lemonade for me. I was taken aback when Twitch walked away from the stand without paying. When no one called him out, I gave him and odd look as I matched his pace. “How did you just get away with that?”

“The mind is easily manipulated, mon ange. I’m very good with words.”

I stayed quiet for a moment as I thought about that. The way he spoke to the teenager behind the counter didn’t seem unusual, and that made me wonder if he ever charmed me by speaking. I asked him this and he responded quickly, “Absolutely not. Besides, I have nothing to trick you into doing.”

“I suppose you don’t,” I said simply, then looked to the food before me. “I can’t decide if this looks appetizing or not. It’s like fried . . . I’m not even sure what.”

“Je ne sais quoi.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s French for ‘I know not what’.”

I squint at him for a moment. “Why don’t you just repeat everything I say in French? It sounds much prettier. It seems like you’re quite the fluent one.”

He stated simply, “C’est exact, je parle français couramment, mais je pense que tu as une belle manière de parlant,” My response was a slight shake of the head and a confused look. “That’s correct, I speak French fluently, but I think you have a beautiful way of speaking,” he translated with a soft smile.

The rosiness of my cheeks increased as they heated up. I loved when he complimented me. Trying to brush off my humility, I brought my attention to the funnel cake. “I’m going to try it.”

It wasn’t all that bad, in fact, it was actually quite delicious. I tried my best to get Twitch to try it, but he stated that he genuinely wasn’t hungry and that he’d rather me eat. This was particularly awkward because he refused to take his eyes off of me the entire time. We talked, but being watched as you eat is always a bit uncomfortable.

I glanced around to see a group of kids from my school staring our way. A pleasing sense fell over me when I noticed how the guys appeared to be stunned and intrigued. Unfortunately, however, I was quick to note the disgust on the girls’ faces when they looked at me and the lustful gazes they shot at Twitch. He remained fully unaware, but he seemed to be alarmed enough at my dodgy eyes. “What is it?”

“They’re staring.”

His eyes darkened before he spoke, but he didn’t bother to look for them, “And this is upsetting you?”

“I just don’t like it, no. The girls are eyeing you up and they’re all gawking and glaring.”

“Would you like me to hurt them?” he asked simply, catching me off guard. Taking it as a poorly delivered joke, I chuckled, but he cut it short, adding nonchalantly, “I’m serious. I can take care of it.”

Appalled once I realized there was no sarcasm in his voice, I sputtered, “Twitch, why would I want you to do that? That’s ludicrous.”

“I’ve done it for you before.”

That’s when I remembered the cracking sounds at the party. “What did you do to those boys last night?”

Given his honesty with me, I wasn’t surprised by his quick answer. However, the nature of it did put me in awe. “I broke their hands.”

“You broke their hands?”

“I told you I’d never let them touch you again. They can’t touch you if their hands are shattered,” he said blandly, the cold glint still in his eye, “If you don’t like them glaring at you, I’ll make it so they have nothing to glare at you with.”

Coincidentally, my eyes stung in the slightest when he casually offered to blind the onlookers. Disregarding the last few bites of the funnel cake, I stood. “Let’s just get out of here. It’ll be far less dangerous, clearly.”

He followed suit and rose to his feet after me. I was still thrown off by the abrupt turn of conversation and began to walk without him, but it was only a matter of seconds before he scurried to catch up and grab my hand. Meeting gazes, he smiled at me, and I had no choice but to reflect him. Just like that the situation was dropped, for the most part. I began to wonder if there was such a thing as bi-polar relationships. If not, perhaps Twitch and I would be the first case.

“How about we ride the Ferris wheel? I’ve seen them, but I’ve obviously never been on one.”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

The large, lit up circle wasn’t hard to spot and we leisurely made our way there. I felt his unwavering eyes as I admired our surroundings. I didn’t think I’d ever get over how much fun wafted through the atmosphere in the fair. It was a small burst of life in my usually dull habitat and I couldn’t get enough. Who would’ve thought such an insignificant event would bring me so much joy?

We stopped for a moment so I could watch as two small children attempted to win toys by shooting water guns at an almost impossible target. Amazingly, the tiny, dark haired boys succeeded, and their parents cheered them on. The father lifted up his youngest as they chose one of the stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling of the game booth. Analyzing the family from the back of their heads, I recognized the males’ hair color to be in resemblance of the exposed roots of Twitch’s hair, and the mother’s to be strikingly blonde, much like my own. A sigh escaped my lips as I slipped into my imagination, allowing my thoughts to replace the family with the one that I hoped to have later on. I couldn’t ever see a future where Twitch and I separated, so it seemed inevitable that we would have a family someday. He hadn’t denied me when I proposed his inhuman state, so perhaps the kids would be some sort of hybrid, but they would be my babies all the same. Even if Twitch truly wasn’t human, he was still humanoid and that’s all that would matter to me. I hoped I would have boys like that family did.

I watched as they left with a blue teddy bear and large yellow bunny

Just as I thought this, arms slid around me from behind and lips kissed the side of my head. “Do you want one of those bunnies, dollbaby?”

Returning back to reality, I bit my lower lip and nodded excitedly at him, turning in his arms. I wasn’t one to overlook the pet name he’d used. He’d never called me that before and it made the butterflies in my stomach flutter about. They were even more flustered when I recognized that Twitch still remembered my love for bunnies. Sure, I was seventeen, but I wasn’t exactly normal. I’d never really grown out of many of my childish ways. Perhaps if I had, Twitch and I wouldn’t be so harmonious as we were. I was still very much the same little girl he loved those years ago. This time, it’s just a different kind of love.

“Go pick a game and we’ll win you one.”

Of course, I targeted a booth that contained a big, pink, stuffed rabbit. The premise of it was to toss rings onto bottles, which seemed easy enough. However, as soon as I began to throw them, failing miserably each time, it became clear that such was not the case. After about fifteen rings, I ordered Twitch to do it.

“What makes you think I’ll be any better?” he laughed.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up at him. “Because you’re good at everything and you’re exotic and you’re sexy and you know how much I want the bunny—”

“All right, all right, I get it.”

I thought he would be good, but I didn’t expect him to get three in a row his first try. “How did you do that?” I cried.

“It’s just a flick of the wrist.” His statement was plain, as if it were common knowledge.

My response was near idiotic, but I hadn’t a quicker comeback. “You’re a flick of the wrist.”

He could see the flush of my cheeks due to the colorful light pollution all around, but he laughed. “What the fuck does that even mean?” I stuck my finger out at him accusingly, but he grabbed my hand and stopped me before I spoke. “Did you forget I just won you the bunny, princess?” He guided my still pointed finger back to the booth and the tired looking college student within it.

My eyes lit up when I was redirected and I quickly requested just the one I wanted. When it was given to me, I hurried away from the game and I squeezed it so hard it could’ve popped. Twitch could stop laughing at me as he followed. I instantly hugged him. “Thank you! You are the best boyfriend EVER!” It still felt weird to title him so. He was quite unreal and the term seemed too casual and common. Soul mate was more like it, I supposed, but it would’ve been weird to go around calling him that.

“I try. Let’s go get in line, babe.”

He grinned and laid a gentle smack dangerously close to my bottom to coax me to walk with him. Of course, it didn’t take much and I leaned into him as he hooked his arm around my waist. It wasn’t until we were in the short line for the ride and I’d pulled away from his warmth that I realized how chilled the air had become. For once, I appreciated Twitch’s intense need to stare at me at all times for he noticed my slightest shiver. Silently and instantly, he removed his hoodie and put it on me (a feat due to the large bunny in my hands), tucking my arms in and zipping it up like I was a doll.

As he had done so, I began to protest him, insisting he would be cold but he simply shushed me. He pulled me into his arms and his scent filled my senses. I even lifted my hand from the place tucked between our chests to hold the fabric of the hoodie closer to my nose. After a moment, I lifted my head to look around at the fun lights again, continually mesmerized by the sheer joy of it. As always, I knew Twitch’s eyes were still fixated strictly upon me. When I directed myself back to him, he had the same awestruck spark in his eyes as I did. Goosebumps raised on my skin in spite of the jumper as we stared. The reflection of the rainbow lights decorated his green eyes like a beautiful Christmas tree and sparked lightly off of the ring piercing on his right nostril. I wanted to kiss him terribly, but it was just then that we had to step forward after the last group of people waiting to get on. I blushed again and backed away, both arms tight around my bunny. We were led to the next pod. Twitch got in first to help me up the step into it, pulling me to sit after doing so.

As we ascended, I was stricken with astonishment. The view was unlike any other. Everything was lit up, and I could see it all like a bird flying overhead. I thought that I might be afraid of the height, but Twitch had his arms around me from behind and I had never felt safer. “Look at it!” I pointed generally. We’d come down a ways and I squealed at all of the rides we needed to get on before we left. Twitch expectedly complied with my wishes.

At the beginning of the third cycle, I spun around to grin excitedly at him, but was taken aback by how perfect he looked. How adoringly he watched me.

Thankfully, the open top of the pod allowed the illuminations of the attraction to resume their place in his eyes, this time swirling as the wheel spun slowly. We were right back at the staring. He was the first to move in, just as the wheel stopped for a moment. He lightly brushed his lips to mine and repeated this a few times before he held on a bit longer. Each kiss that followed heated up until we were almost pushing each other by the amount of force we put behind it. His lips caused chemical reactions throughout my body, all the way to my toes. I was facing away from the carnival lights, but colorful sparks exploded behind my eyelids from the feeling that he pumped into my veins. His hands held my cheeks when he broke our kiss for his breath, but I sighed and he must have found it sexy, for he groaned and immediately attacked my neck with his mouth without catching air. When his fingers came up to the collar of my shirt, my heart began to race, but he only unbuttoned a few in order to have better access to my throat. That was good enough for me.

When the ride began to stop again in order to let people off, I think he’d kissed, licked or sucked every area of bare skin on my upper body. We were a third of the way down when I spoke, breathing against his lips, “I wish you were my first kiss. If I just waited one more day…”

There was a moment’s pause before he replied, “I was.”

Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about. I think I would’ve remembered kissing him and I definitely had not kissed anyone else but Charlie. Sure, I kissed him in my dream, but that was my imagination. I pulled away enough to look at him questioningly. “What?”

A tiny smirk crept on his lips before he ran his tongue and teeth against his lower lip nervously. If I were to say it didn’t turn me on, I would be lying entirely. “I was your first kiss.” He licked his lips again; a look was in his eyes as if pleading that he wouldn’t have to elaborate. This was obviously not a choice and he sighed, murmuring, “The night that I left you, I chickened out and held you for a while when you were sleeping, but sooner or later, I just had this urge to kiss you. I knew you were only eleven, but I couldn’t help it.”

“You. . .you kissed me?”

“I know, it’s disgusting—”

I cut him off with my lips, roughly grabbing is head with the hand not clutching the bunny. The thought of it all made my heart do flips. “I wish I could remember it,” I gasped, diving back to his mouth the second I finished the statement. I added to it only a moment later. "But I suppose it would've made your absence more painful."

Downcast in shame, his eyes left mine. With the tip of my finger, I lifted his face back up. "But you're here now and that's what counts." I leaned into him, pressing my mouth to his again. I was becoming addicted.

His response came in spurts between kisses, “You kissed me back, y’know.”

I detached myself so I could see him, a smile on my face, “I’m not surprised. I was just as in love with you as I am now.”

For the rest of the night, we went around to ride and play just about everything we could. Despite all of the cruel eyes and snide comments some kids made about me, Twitch had kept to his promise. It was just us. It was as if no one else existed and we were completely in our own bubble. Whenever I would wander in my thoughts, he’d bring me right back to attention and remind me that no one else mattered.

It was just my Twitchy and I . . . and also a big, pink bunny.