Forever

I woke up with a warm feeling. I smiled, my eyes still closed, as I stretched out my arms.

"Good morning, Twitchy," I almost sing-songed. I felt so good, "Is it just me, or does today feel like something totally special? I don't even know Twitch...I just..." I sighed happily, letting my sentence die off.

I waited for a moment, with no reply. That was unusual-- very unusual.

"Twitch? Are you there?" I began to panic when I still heard nothing but a dead silence, "Twitchy..." I sat up abruptly, my euphoria washed away entirely. I whimpered, “Twitchy, if you’re here, please let me know. Oh God, if you leave me again…I’m sorry I doubted you; I’m not mad at you. I love you so much, Twitch…Please,” I don’t know why I was begging him, when he clearly was not around to hear me. I remembered the feeling of his absence, and that feeling was very much alive as I sat on my bed, gripping the sheets. It was the second time he’d left unannounced…Something about this time, however, felt wrong. I started convulsing.

I shot out of bed, scurrying to my dresser for emergency medicine. Before I was able to retrieve my pills, I saw a piece of paper lying on the wooden surface. Just the sight of it filled me with dread, even though I had yet to read a single word from it.

With a trembling hand, I lifted the sheet, taking in the words carefully.

I screamed.

I screamed and screamed, falling to the floor in a pathetic heap. Knowing my parents would rush to my side, I hastily stuck the letter underneath my bed, collapsing upon myself after doing so.

I couldn’t hear my mother’s voice as she appeared in my line of sight, nor could I feel my father’s comforting touch. I just wailed as my heart seemed to beat in my ears.

I was unable to move, yet I was able to form out two words before everything went black, “I’m sorry.”



I woke up, once again, in my bedroom. Except this time, I had absolutely no happiness.

I felt dead.

I was dead…without him.

“Oh, Marilyn, sweetheart! How are you feeling?” my mothers worried voice rung out, beside me. I looked at her with dull eyes.

“Just fine,” I lied through my teeth. After a long moment of silence, as my mother tried to think of what to say to me, I spoke, “Mom, can I be alone right now? Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Sure, baby-girl,” I cringed at her endearment, “Just let me know if you need anything, all right?”

“Yeah, Ma,” she kissed my forehead and left.

Quickly, as if I would die without my blankets, I hopped out of bed and retrieved the letter from underneath the bed skirt, climbing back into the comfort of the blankets as soon as I had done so. I read the letter God knows how many times, letting it soak in. I studied every deliberate curve in his unique hand writing and gently ran my fingertips over the miniature valleys created by the pen against paper. As I did so, I noticed the faint discoloration in a few little dots around the paper. Had he cried? It sure looked like it. The thought of him in such pain made my heart hurt. At the realization that he meant everything he’d said to me, I once again burst into tears. I kept quiet, in case my mother was to hear.

What did he mean when he said that I was not safe with him? From what was I in danger? He was real so what on Earth could he not protect me from? I supposed I’d never know, and the curiosity made it worse.

I just couldn’t believe he was gone. And not just gone in the sense that he would be back in a few hours, but gone…for real. Did he really think I could move on? That I could go about life and find someone to replace him? I’d never fall in love with anyone like I did with him. There was something so special, so eternal about my feelings for him, that no one could ever surpass. I knew he did not share that kind of love with me, but he was mine all the same.

I’d always be alone, and I had to accept it. Without Twitch, I had nobody.

Who wanted to live like that?

Not me.

So…I wouldn’t.

And that was that.