Heartache

Juliette sat on the ledge. She stared out her window. The wind blew. The tears ran down her pale cheeks. Her cell phone rings over and over. She doesn't pick it up. She can only think of her deceased boyfriend. He had died four years ago. Why was so hard to forget about the ones you love the most? She peels off her clothes and steps in the shower. Hot steamy liquid flows from the shower head and onto her cold thin body. The phone stops ringing. It was James. Juliette hadn't noticed. She finds the cold metal piece. It's sharp, so sharp that it could make you bleed. And that's the thing that Juliette did. She drew lines on her thighs. No one would notice. The blood falls from them and into the drain. They burn under the water. Juliette doesn't care. This isn't the kind of pain that hurts the most. It's the pain that's inside of her that hurts the most. The kind of pain that no one can help you with is the worst kind of pain. Several minutes later she finishes. Her phone screen lights up. She has a couple missed messages. They were all from James. She wondered what he needed. She pulled on a shirt and her jeans. No one would notice her cuts. Or she thought.

"James?" She picked up her phone. "Oh hi Juliette!" James sounded like he had just been working out. "Hey...did you want something or...?" "Yeah...I wanted to know if you wanted to like go out or something?" It sounded so awkward. Juliette sighed, of course she did. "Sure...tonight?" "Sure tonight," James said. "Ok see you around seven?" "I'll pick you up?" "Yeah, bye James, see you soon." Juliette hung up quickly. She had only a few hours until he came. Her father wasn't home yet either. She knew he wouldn't be for a while.

"Oh hi James," Juliette smiled as she opened the door. She wore jeans and a pink cardigan. Her long hair was curled into loose ringlets. She wore only a tiny bit of make up like she normal did. James loved how casual she looked. She wasn't the kind of girl who liked to wear dresses or girly things. She didn't even try when it came to boys."Hey Juliette!" He said, smiling. They hugged. It was a friendly kind. The normal kind. No feelings or anything. It's funny how you could still do that even though you could tell the air was full of sexual tension. They went into his car. They drove away into the city.

The night had been fun. Now they were at James' watching one of Juliette's favorite movies, the notebook. James thought differently about this movie. He watched her watch the movie. He loved the way she laughed. It was a cute kind of giggle. It wasn't high pitched or too low it was just right. Every time she laughed or smiled. It made him too. They seemed like a perfect couple to everyone else. Juliette twirled her hair as the movie ended. She loved this movie a lot. She could watch it over and over again and never get bored. Sometimes she had wished life could be like that. But she knew that would never happen. She knew James had been watching her for most of the movie. She still couldn't believe that they were almost a couple. Juliette suddenly realized that she hadn't seen or talked to her best friend Bridget. She would know what to do next. Juliette had always been a little jealous of her best friend. Bridget could get a boy before you could say the smallest word in English. She had always been do good with boys. Juliette wasn't the best or the worst either. She had only had one or two boyfriends in her life. She only had sex a couple times. Bridget was the total opposite of her. She had so many boyfriends that Juliette couldn't even count.

"Juliette?"

"Yeah James," He had broken her train of thought.

"Are you staying over or...?" James asked, awkwardly. He didn't know the answer to that.

And neither did she. Juliette shrugged. Would it be okay if she did? She had so many times before. She didn't want to get into trouble with her step father. "Could you give me a ride home I guess?"

"Sure Juliette, Now or later?"

"I guess we could go now." It was almost a eleven. Her father would be home soon. Juliette sighed. She didn't want to leave. She was torn. To stay or not to. It was too late anyway. She was going to leave whether she like it or not.

"Let's go!"

"Okay james," She followed him out of his house and into his car. Leaving was always the hardest part. "Juliette?" "Yeah?" "Why do you always have to leave so early?"

Why do you always have to leave so early?

Yeah, why did she? Was it her father or was it just her? Juliette didn't know anymore. Maybe it was because her father would hurt or if she was late and she hated getting hurt. Maybe it was time for Juliette to move out. But where would she stay?

"I don't know," Juliette couldn't tell him the truth. Maybe not now or ever. Juliette wasn't ready for that. "Why do you want to know anyways?"

He shrugged. He didn't answer. He just kept driving. He wanted to know. He wouldn't hurt. He wanted to know why she was sad. James wanted to know so much more about this mysterious girl that he was slowly falling in love with. He would eventually break her down and find out. He would do anything for her. Anything for her to be happy. James didn't know that yet. But soon he would. James would know the truth about Juliette's real life. There were so many things that he wouldn't know. And wouldn't ever know.

When Juliette got home, her stepfather wasn't there. Juliette was glad he wasn't. Juliette would make it look like she never left. Juliette sighed. She was always so scared about her step father. Juliette hated feeling like this all the time. He made her feel so insecure, so small. Like she never meant anything. like she was worthless. She didn't understand why someone would make some feel this way on purpose. Juliette wouldn't ever do that to anyone. But why did her step father do that to her? It was so unfair to Juliette. The people who are supposed to love you hate you, was that right?