I Don't Think You'll Ever Wanna Love Me

Lia’s POV

I felt like such an idiot, I didn’t even know where my own house was. To be fair, I’d only seen it once, for maybe an hour as I pretended to unpack. The guys looked at me “Well, what street do you live on ?” I thought for a second, “Uh…Cherry ? Yeah, Cherry street.” Vic shrugged, “That’s easy to find, don’t worry about it.” They led the way, and I stumbled after them, still baffled that this was actually happening. Less than ten minutes later, I was pointing out my house and we had arrived. WE gathered awkwardly in front of my porch. “Uh..did you guys wanna, like, come inside ?” I motioned toward the door. They all looked at one another, then shrugged. Vic answered for all of them, “Sure.” I gulped, I hadn’t actually expected them to say yes. Now what was I supposed to do, show them around my empty house ? I sighed pushing open the front door. “Mom, Dad, I’m home ! And I brought some…friends.” My mom peeked around the corner, pushing her hair out of her face. “In here !” She called from the kitchen. I lead the boys there, then introduced them. My dad appeared a minute later, stopping dead in his tracks. He took in the scene before him, then said “Are these all your new boyfriends ?” Everyone laughed, but I didn’t think it was funny. I was sixteen years old and had never had a boyfriend before, so I didn’t see why it would be. I rolled my eyes and took the guys on a tour of the house. We ended up in my bedroom last, and I could see them admiring it. The view from my huge bay window was fantastic- field leading toward train tracks, and then a forest on one side. It was set on the west wall, so I would be able to watch the sun go down as well. The bedroom itself was a big, spacious square, with wood flooring and pale green walls. It was the only bedroom on the first floor as well. The guys and I sat around on boxes, just making small talk. We agreed to meet up outside the school the next day, which comforted me and put my mind at ease. I couldn’t tell if it was just me, or was Vic taking a special interest in talking to me ? He leaned closer to me than the others, and spoke more intently. And he listened, really listened, when I spoke. I loved all the guys, but I was feeling a different sort of affinity toward Vic….

I hated saying goodbye to my new friends, but it was getting late and we had school. It was still early September, so school was relatively new to everyone. Maybe I had a chance to fit in.

When everyone left, my mind was still with them. It felt great to have friends, and I was really glad I’d met them. For the life of me though, I couldn’t figure out why Vic’s face was the one that stuck out in my mind.

The next morning, I pulled up to school, automatically looking for my new friends. They were standing just where they’d said, right outside the main doors. I rushed over to them, and we walked to the main office for my schedule. Of course I had first hour alone, but I had Mike and Jaime in my second hour, Tony and Jaime in my third hour, lunch with all of them (thank God) fourth hour with Mike, and fifth hour with Vic. I was pretty lucky, considering the odds. I waved them off as the bell rang, preparing for English class all alone.

The day passed by quickly, and surprisingly unpainfully. Since I was hanging around with Vic and his friends, I was considered “in.” They hadn’t led on that they were the popular kids, but they definitely weren’t outcasts. It was a new experience for me, sitting and joking at a full lunch table. I met a bunch of their other friends too, and I could barely keep everyone straight.

After fifth hour, Vic walked me to my locker. He seemed kinda jittery, like he wanted to say something. He kept glancing sideways at me as we walked to my car, and as he opened the door for me, he also opened his mouth to say something. I looked at him expectantly, but he just shook his head and said “Nevermind. See you later !” I watched him walk away, joining Mike, Tony and Jaime. They all looked back at me, then started laughing at him and punching his arm.

I shrugged it off, boys will be boys, and drove away.

Later that night, as I was getting ready for ballet class, I heard a knock at the door. I was reluctant to open it since I was home alone, but I made my way to the front of the house anyway. When I opened the door, I was face to face with Vic Fuentes.

I looked down at myself, embarrassed- I was decked out in a pale pink leotard, tights, and a huge tutu. He looked me up and down “Um, is this a bad time ?” I laughed nervously, “No, what’s up ?” He swallowed, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I um, wondered….I’m…the guys and I are having a bonfire on Friday night, did you wanna come ?” “Yeah, that’d be great !” I cursed myself for sounding so enthusiastic, but truthfully, it sounded like a lot of fun, and this was the first time I’d been invited out by friends since fifth grade. “Did you wanna come inside for a bit ?” I opened the door wider, and he followed after me. I self consciously smoothed down my tutu “Sorry about this whole getup.” “Don’t worry about it, you look great,” he said. “So how long have you been doing ballet ?” I looked up from the floor, where I was lacing up my pointe shoes. “Oh, since I was about six. It’s been hard though because of-“ I stopped dead. I was not about to scare him off by revealing that I’m sick.
I kept my eyes down, my face heating up. He sat on the floor next to me. “Because of…” “Um, nothing. It’s nothing.” I stood, “I should get going to dance now…thanks for inviting me to your party, Vic.” He nodded, walking out silently ahead of me. I felt bad about not telling him, he probably thought he had done something wrong. But it just wasn’t the right time, I couldn’t lose my only friends.

Friday could not come fast enough.

On Friday morning, I practically jumped out of bed. I was ridiculously excited for tonight, I mean, I would get to spend it with Vic. I was coming to realize that I may have a tiny crush on him….
School dragged by in a slow hell, but when I was home, I felt like there wasn’t enough time for me to get ready. I couldn’t decide what to wear- casual or a little dressy ? The temperature was nice now, but what if it got cold later ? I decided on cropped skinny jeans, an oversized sweater, and Vans. My parents questioned me endlessly about how late I would be out, who would all be there, were parents going to be there, the usual. It was the first time I’d ever had to be asked those questions, and it actually made me feel kind of good. At 7:45, I started following the directions Vic had given me. He assured me we lived only five minutes away, so I was walking. As I arrived, I realized I was not the only one there. But so far, I was the only girl. I knew everyone that was there already- the original four guys plus Jack, Alex, Zack, and Rian. I liked all of them, they were funny guys. The only one not in sight though, was Vic. I sat next to Jack in a lawn chair by the already blazing fire, casually scanning the yard for any signs of Vic. Suddenly Alex pounced on Jack, knocking his chair over. This in turn knocked mine over as well, and soon all three of us were in a giggling heap on the thick dark lawn. Vic chose that moment to appear, and he looked kind of…pissed. He stomped over to us. “Guys ! What are you doing ?” He helped me up from under them, hissing at them about what he had “warned them.” In a bold moment, I kissed Vic’s cheek. “It’s okay Vic, really.” He grinned widely, “yeah, yeah it is.” By eight o’clock, the party was in full swing. It was packed with everyone from our lunch table, all crowded around the fire pit. I was having a great time, and I was really glad I’d decided to come. I was becoming bolder and more comfortable, and I just followed everyone else’s example. Almost everyone was laying all over one another, sharing seats, sitting on one another’s lap. I casually dropped my legs in Vic’s lap, and he rested his hands on them. I felt all tingly just touching him, but I was trying really hard to act normal and keep my anxiety down. He gently touched my knee, “Does it still hurt ?” I shook my head no, I couldn’t speak with him rubbing my leg like that. Suddenly, Alex ran by with Jack on his back, and Vic looked at me. “Well, are we gonna let them win ?!”

“Are you serious ?” I asked. He nodded and stood up. I climbed onto his back, blushing like mad. He raced after them until we could just barely see the glow of the bonfire. Jack and Alex were now nowhere to be found. It was a relatively warm night, and it was just us two in the middle of an open field. Sort of like when we’d first met, only less people and more darkness. “Let’s ditch,” he said. I laughed, “Ditch your own party ?” He nodded, grinning mischievously. “Unless you’re scared…” he added. “Hell no !” I raced off into the night, giggling wildly. He chased after me, both of us flirting like hell. I hid and ended up behind him, then crept up on him and lunged. I landed on his back, but he was so surprised that he fell to the grass. We toppled over, laughing like idiots. I made no effort to move, just laid on top of him with my hair in his face, looking him in the eyes. “Gotcha,” I whispered.