You Never Really Can Fix a Heart

Tour has been over for about a week now, and it’s been a little over two weeks since Landon dropped the Lisa is batshit crazy bomb. I knew that she was crazy, but crazy enough to fucking kill me? I don’t think I can deal with that much craziness. I finished the tour, but as soon as it was over I left. Everyone went back to Baltimore, but I took a plane to Florida. I just needed some space away from everything and everyone. Of course I took Faith with me though. Alex was afraid that I was breaking up with him, but I told him that I just needed some breathing room. He was going to see Lisa and tell her that she needs to stop her obsession with him because he’s not in love with her anymore and he was going to start a family with me. He was also going to do what he promised Kara and tell Lisa that she needs some professional help. I really didn’t want to be in the same state, let alone the same town as her when he talked to her. Besides Liam had finally told me that he was moving back to Baltimore so I thought this would be the perfect excuse to get away. I’ve been helping him pack up and watch the kids.

Right now I’m at the beach with Faith, Logan, Amy, and Vanessa. I told Savannah and Liam that I would take the kids down to the beach for one last time so they can have some alone time and get the last of the boxes into the moving van. They hired a moving van to take their crap to Baltimore then we’re driving back home. We have to be home in a couple of day to be at Rae’s bakery opening. I was lying on my towel watching the kids play in the sand when I got a text from Rae.

This is what happens when you leave town and leave me with idiots!


I laughed and shook my head. I swear sometimes I should have to worry more about Alex leaving me for Jack than Lisa. I’ve had to endure them kissing and being sexual around me more times than I needed to in my lifetime. But my question is why are they having a party without me. I clicked on Rae’s contact and called her. “I’m not talking to you right now. I had to sleep alone last night because my boyfriend was busy cuddling with yours! What the hell?” Rae said in a sassy tone.

“Hey don’t be mad at me, you’re the one that let them get drunk.” I laughed. “Why were you guys partying without me anyways?”

“Well you should have been home to fuck your drunk boyfriend so he wouldn’t be drunkenly hitting on mine! Gosh!” she snorted then started laughing.

“Your ridiculous.” I rolled my eyes then looked over at the kids, making sure they were still playing nicely.

“Seriously though, those boys are insane!” she groaned. “But Jack decided to have the party for Zack because Lena is in town and Zack is finally out of his funk. You know that kid, any excuse for a party so he can get shitfaced.”

“Aww, I miss Lena. But sorry for not being there to rangle Alex.” I chuckled. “How is the lovely couple anyways?”

“I think Jack is still passed out. Alex is laying on the couch with the dogs cuddled up with him.” she informed me.

“I’m surprised he didn’t text or call me last night.” I thought out loud.

“Oh, Zack took his phone and wouldn’t let him have it until just a little bit ago. Alex went to call you to tell you that he was going to marry Jack or some shit.” I could just see Rae rolling her eyes right now. “Anyways, Zack didn’t want Alex to make a fool of himself because we all know that he can turn into an emotional wreck.”

“I swear those two love each other more than they love us.”

“They do!” her voice squeaked. “Crap, I’ve got to go. I hear Jack puking.” she hung up the phone without saying bye but I don’t blame her, she needs to tend to the hungover idiot.

I was going to call Alex after that, but decided to check my twitter first. I hadn’t been on any social media since I’ve been here in Florida so I feel a bit out of the loop. I need to see what’s been going on in the world while I’ve been hiding. I scrolled through my feed for what felt like forever when I finally got to the most recent tweets. There was one that made me smile really big. It was from Alex that he posted about ten minutes ago.

AlexAllTimeLow: Missing this pretty face right now. :(


AlexAllTimeLow: I’m totally talking about the dog. Though Max is cuddled up with me right now.

AlexAllTimeLow: For real though, I miss the shit out of my lady. COME HOME WOMAN!

I laughed at his tweets then decided to send him a picture before calling him.

Nice view dontcha think?


I was about to call him when his picture lit up my phone, signalling that he was calling me. “Hello. What’s up?” I played coy.

“Nice view of your rack there, babe.” Alex snickered causing me to roll my eyes.

“You’re such a perv.”

“Hey you’re the one sending me pictures where I have a full view of your fabulous tits.” he retorted matter of factly.

“But you know that I meant the view of the water not my boobs.” I gigged. “So I heard you had a bed buddy last night. Thought you said I was the only one for you?”

“Rae called you already?” he asked even though he already know the answer to that. “I was highly intoxicated and missed you. Jack was the next best thing.”

I laughed loudly at him because he sounded so innocent. “You’re ridiculous. And now my best friend is mad at me because she didn’t get laid last night.”

“Eh, she’ll survive.” he laughed off. “So when are you coming home?”

“We’re going to start home tonight so we should be home tomorrow.” I said with a sigh, I had to ask about Lisa but I really didn’t want to know. At the same time I can’t go home and still fear for my life. “How did it go with Lisa?”

Alex cleared his throat but stayed silent for a few minutes which scared me. Did it go that badly? Maybe I should have stayed oblivious. “As well as it could, I guess. She still swears that me and her are meant to be and you’re going to hurt me. But with the help of Kara and her family she agreed to see a therapist, so hopefully she will get the help she needs to get out of this fantasy world that she’s living in.”

“Yeah, hopefully.” I said taking a deep breath, trying not to cry. “Look, I have to go. I have to get the sandy kids cleaned up and get back to the house so we can get a move on. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see you and Faith.” Alex said excitedly. I told him that we can’t wait to see him too. It wasn’t a lie, Faith has been wanting to see her daddy since the day after we got here. And I do miss him, I’m just insanely scared right now. No matter what I will love Alex, but can I stay in a relationship where my life is literally at stake? If it were just me, I probably would say fuck it and stay. But I have to think about Faith. What if Lisa decides to hurt Faith so I will really back off? I can’t risk that.

When I finally got the kids back to the house, Savannah and Liam were sitting in the empty living room floor on a blanket. They said they had just ordered pizza. The kids cheered then ran outside to the backyard. I have no idea how the hell they still have any energy to play. Guess they will knock out on the ride back to Baltimore. I sat down on the blanket with a sigh. Savannah casually said she was going to go check on the kids, but I’m not stupid, Liam wanted to talk to him and that was her subtle way to leave the room.

“What’s wrong, little sis?” he said smacking my knee gently.

I really didn’t want to talk about my relationship with Alex so I decided to sort of change the subject. “You love Florida, so why are you moving back to Maryland?”

“I know you’re avoiding something.” he gave me a knowing look. “But I’ll leave it be for now. And to answer your question, yes I love Florida, it’s where I grew up, it’s where I fell in love and started my family. No matter what though, Maryland will be home. And to tell you the truth, I’ve been wanting to move back for a long time now. I should have went home when Brie got pregnant with Izzy. Mom needed me, you and Brie needed me, but I stayed here because I didn’t want to tear Savannah away from her family and the kids only know Florida. A couple months ago, Savannah came to me and told me that she can’t sit back anymore and see me suffer. She knows how close I am to my family and said that I’ve put her needs first since she got pregnant with Logan and it was time that she let me put my needs first. So she told me that we can move to Maryland. Logan, Amy and Vanessa need to really get to know my side of the family and I need to be there for you guys. I’ve hated being so far away when I get calls in the middle of the night about you being in the hospital. It scares me everytime my phone rings that something has happened and I’m too far away to be there for my family.”

It killed me to see Liam so broken. I knew he worried about me and Brie, but I didn’t know the great impact it was on him. “As much as I want to sit here and say you really don’t have to come home because me and Brie are big girls and can take care of ourselves and we have mom covered, I am being selfish and saying I am so happy that you are. Faith and Izzy need to grow up with their cousins. And I just really miss my big brother. When Leo died, a part of me died with him and I tried so hard to not let it affect me but it did. You decided to stay in Florida and it was hard to not have either of my brothers with me. I know I never said anything, but you had found love and I didn’t want to ruin that.”

“You should have said something.” he pulled me into a side hug. “But now it will be all better. One big happy family.”

“I like that.” I smiled. Our family will be back together again. Leo is still gone, but at least the rest of us will be together and it won’t feel so broken.



“It’s about time you two made it here.” Rae said as Alex and I finally made it to her bakery opening.

“Sorry! I got tied up doing something and lost track of time.” I told her.

“Tied up huh? Kinky. And you look like a little school girl? Double kinky.” she laughed causing me to blush. I’m wearing a short black skirt with suspenders and a long sleeve plaid crop top. “Oh so you liked being tied up?”

“Oh my god! We’re in public, can we not discuss my sex life?” I hid my face in Alex’s chest.

“Yes, please no talking about my sister’s sexual life.” Liam made a face as he walked over to give me a hug. “The kids are devouring your cupcakes, Rae. I guess it’s safe to say that your bakery is going to be a hit.” I looked over to Logan, Amy, Vanessa, Izzy and Faith sitting on a bench with Savannah and Brie eating cupcakes.

“Hell yeah!” Rae cheered. One of Rae’s employees called for her, a customer had a question about a birthday party. “I’ll talk to you guys later, we’re celebrating tonight. But enjoy all the cake you can eat.” she laughed.

“This place is amazing.” Ali said when I walked over to her.

“It is!” I agreed. “Now you need to get a restaurant or catering company so I can get free food and cake!”

Ali laughed and rolled her eyes, “I’m not sure about that. I’m comfortable with being in the kitchen but running my own place sounds too stressful for me.”

“Then become a personal chef. No real business to run, just dealing with the people you will cook for. Then you can use that creativity that isn’t getting the attention it needs in that hotel restaurant.” I tried to persuade her.

“We’ll see.” she shrugged. “So you decided to stick with Alex, I see.”

I looked over at Alex who was holding Faith and talking to Jack, Zack and Liam. He looked over at me and smiled. “Yeah, I did. I thought it would be better to leave him, so I don’t have to be scared for mine and Faith’s lives every second of the day. But as much as I feared for every bad possibility, I also saw how much my daughter loves him. Can I rip her away from the guy who she sees as her dad? I can’t do that to her. Plus I spoke to Kara and she said that Lisa was in therapy, so hopefully she’s getting better.”

“For your and Faith’s sake, I hope so. I’ve never seen you happier than when you’re with Alex. I know you guys have had your ups and downs, but he makes you happy and that makes me happy.”

Ali was right, Alex does make me happy so at the end of the day, that is what matters. I’ve waiting for a guy to love me, all of me. All of my mistakes and my dark past. Alex owns my heart and soul, leaving him will destroy me. I can’t go through that kind of pain again and I won’t put Faith through that either. And if Lisa comes after me or my daughter, she will be in for a fight. I’m stronger than I ever been and I’m not going down without a fight this time. My life has finally fallen into place where it always should have been, and no one will take it away from me.