Grade 8

Harry woke up feeling like death. His head was pounding, he wasn't sure if he had to puke or not, and on top of that he had a feeling he got in a fight judging by how sore the side of his face felt. It took him a second to realize the other side of the bed was empty. Lena had been staying in his room most nights; now if only he could remember what happened the night before. Slowly he made his way out of bed wincing with each step as his brain rattled around. As if he wasn't feeling bad enough a loud banging on the door almost had him on the floor.

"What?" He grumbled.

"I brought you this." Lou held up the paper bag and to-go cup of coffee. "Figured you might need it."

Harry stepped back allowing her to come into his room. "Thanks."

Lou set the cup and bag on the table before she turned around to look at him. He really did look like shit. She had talked to Lena when she came back the night before alone and look completely broken. Lou wanted to get to the bottom of what happened at the party.

"The party was alright?" Lou asked.

Harry slumped down in the chair opening the bag of baked goods. "Yeah I suppose."

"Lena came back alone last night."

Harry glanced up at Lou brow furrowing. "I don't remember that."

"Wouldn't expect you to." Lou sat down across from him. "She said you were pretty out of it."

Harry shrugged. "I honestly don't remember much from last night."

"From what I've gathered from the other four you went way too hard last night." Lou sighed.

"Does anyone know what happened to my face?" Harry asked bringing a hand up to touch the sore spot.

"I'd wager it's from when Louis and Liam threw you into the car."

"They threw me in the car?" Harry asked eyes wide.

"According to Liam you passed out and they were too drunk to properly sit you in the car." Lou shook her head. "You lot need to start being more careful."

"Alexis was there." Harry watched Lou's reaction and by the blank look she gave him she already knew. "And you know that."

"I do." Lou have him a nod. "She called me, I don't know what she was bloody thinking, wanted to get lunch or something while she was here. I'd like to give her a nice punch to that fuckin' pretty little face of hers. When I heard Adam was at the party I assumed she would be too."

"She tried talking to me." Harry admitted.

"What happened?"

"I pretty much told her to sod off." Harry glanced up meeting Lou's eyes. "I'm trying to move on."

"Good." Lou gave him a single nod. "I'm going to go pack up the rest of Lux's things. I suggest you finish packing as well we leave in a few hours."

It was the end of the North American leg of the tour meaning the boys would go back to England and do some promo for their movie as well as the two premiers. Lena was going to stay in LA to work on her album until the start of the Australian tour. Neither of them had talked about what would happen once Harry left leaving Harry feeling slightly unsure what to do. He wanted to be exclusive with her, make her his girlfriend, officially; today was the day to do it otherwise he would have to wait and that just didn't sit well with him.



It was almost noon and Lena was still laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't bring herself to get up; she felt lifeless. Even after eight hours of sleep she felt exhausted.

Sitting up she pushed the sheet off her upper body revealing her bare thighs. Lena traced the red line among the faded scars on her thigh. It was still painful to touch but it at least had stopped bleeding. She hasn't meant to do it and she honestly couldn't even remember doing it. Everything had been too much for her and with no one to talk to this was her only outlet to keep from having a meltdown. She was losing control quickly just like she had after Danny's death. She felt the darkness laying heavily against her chest suffocating her until she hurt herself again then it would be gone for a little while until she needed to cut again. It was a nasty cycle and one she knew very well.

After today she would be alone for a month, working on her album something she had only dreamed of. Even knowing she was finally doing what she always wanted to couldn't bring her out of her dark mood. With the heaviest of sighs she moved from the bed to find something to wear. Throwing on a pair of jeans she found at the bottom of her suitcase and a sweatshirt over her pajama shirt was as much effort as she was going to put into her outfit. She walked out of her room going towards Harry's wanting to get things over with, but when she knocked no one answered. She glanced around the hall spotting Liam and Louis coming out of the elevator at the end of the hall.

"Hey Lena!" Liam called. "What are you doing?"

"I was seeing if Harry was awake." Lena shrugged. "But he's not."

"You didn't see how drunk he got last night." Louis laughed. "Come hang out with us! We're going to be without you for a whole month! How will I ever survive?"

"I think you'll manage." Lena rolled her eyes.

"Come on." Louis grabbed her by the shoulders an turned her around. "Onwards to my room!"

With only a few hours to waste in their hotel before they had to leave the boys and Lena were sitting in Louis' room. Harry came in a little before they would be leaving looking a little better then he had; a little more rested and at least showered. Lena wasn't into the conversations around her like she used to be her mind wondering. Harry took instant notice in how quiet she was he saw more then once a far away look crossing her features.

"Lena are you alright?" he asked quietly to her hoping no one else could hear.

She looked at him wide eyed like she had been doing something wrong. Harry watched as she quickly tried to hide it by smiling a little too wide.

"I'm fine."

Harry didn't buy it. Taking her hand he stood up pulling her with him. No one asked where thy were going, there were really only a few things they could think of that would warrant their disappearance.

They went to Lena's room and as they walked the few feet to the room Lena felt her resolve breaking with each step. It was time to do what she had been thinking about for hours. She was going to break his heart, and hers as well, with what she was about to do. They stood facing each other Lena's eyes cast downwards while Harry watched a sense of dread coming over him.

"Harry, I'm sorry." Lena couldn't look at him knowing what she was about to say. "I'm can't do this anymore."

"What?" Harry's face fell the smile he had gone. "What are you saying?"

"Harry I think we need to end whatever this is." She gestured between them.

"You're breaking up with me?" Harry was stunned.

"How can we break up? We were never really together." Lena glanced up but quickly diverted her eyes again. "We were just having fun, right?"

"Right." Harry scoffed.

"Harry, I'm sorry." Lena whispered taking the chance to look up and regretting it instantly. "You...you just need to go."

She didn't want to talk this out it would just make everything harder. There was nothing he could say now that would change her mind. This had to happen they would never work or be happy together. Not while Alexis was still around.

"Why are you doing this?"

Lena couldn't bare to look at him. He sounded so broken, as broken as she felt it made her want to rethink her words, but deep down she knew she had to do this. It was for their own good.

"Tell me!"

Lena jumped slightly at his raised voice but she refused to meet his eyes. She couldn't face him, no matter how hard he tried.

"Lena." His hand was on her arm then grip tight as he tried to make her look at him and when she did look up she instantly tore her eyes away. All she saw in his dark green eyes was anger it was a terrifying sight. "Why are you doing this?" He wasn't yelling but she almost wished he was.

Lena shook her head wanting nothing more then for him to let go of his strong hold on her arm. She was sure she'd have a bruise there once he let go.

"I thought you were different." He said green eyes boring into her now. "You're just like her."

Instead of the regret and guilt that had been taking over her body she felt rage take over. Why did it always have go back to Alexis.

"What are you saying?" Lena asked trying to keep her voice even.

"I should have known you'd leave me too."

"Of course it always has to go back to Alexis." Her words dripped with anger eyes narrowing into a deadly glare. Lena tore her arm away from Harry everything she wanted to say coming out. "I can't be with you if you're still hung up on her. You're not even really with me! I know she's all you think about!"

"I'm not still hung up on her." Harry protested but even he couldn't believe it.

"Just admit t Harry you're still in love with her." Lena could feel her chest tightening the undeniable urge to cry forcing her to bite her lip. "I can see it."

"I'm trying to forget her!" Harry's hands went into his hair as he spun away from her. He closed his eyes trying to calm down.

"I know I'm just a distraction for you." Lena said needing to say it. "Someone to have fun with until Alexis came running back."

The silence that followed after this was enough confirmation to make Lena's stomach turn over. "See you can't even deny it."

"I can't do this."He walked away from her he wasn't going to discuss this with her now because in his mind there was nothing to discuss.

Harry went back to his room the emptiness unnerving. He sat down on the edge of his bed elbows on his highs as he stared down at the floor. The door to the room opened but he knew who it was even before they sat next to him a strong arm going around his shoulders. Louis wasn't really sure what had happened but when Liam had told him to check on Harry he knew something was off.

"Wanna talk about it? Louis asked after a moment if silence.

"She broke up with me." Harry didn't sound like he had just been dumped he was like a robot. "Why do I keep ruining everything good in my life?"

"Are you kidding?" Louis asked dropping the arm that had been around him. "Don't start that self pity bullshit. You are so much better then that. It's their loss not yours."

"Why does this keep happening to me though?" Louis had never seen him look so defeated. Even after What happened with Alexis he never looked this heart broken.

"Maybe you just have shit taste in women." Louis tried.

"I don't think that's it."

"You just need to talk to her mate. Make her see she made a mistake." Louis offered.

"She thinks I'm still in love with Alexis." Harry shook his head.

"Can you blame her?" Louis asked. "I was even feeling bad for Lena the amount you talk about Alexis is incredible."

"I don't mean too." Harry gave Louis an annoyed look.

"I know that." Louis sighed. "But look at it from her perspective, yeah? You've spent this whole tour pining after a girl who is dating one of your best friends. Then suddenly you like Lena and everything is perfect again? Sounds a little fishy to me."

"You know what you need?" Louis asked after a moment of thought.

"What?" Harry sighed.

"A month with no lady drama." Louis gave a nod of his head. "Then when we finish up the tour you'll be a whole new person!"

"I doubt that."

"Trust me. When have I ever steered you wrong?"

"You don't want me to answer that."



"Alright Lena ready to start recording?"

It was her first day of recording. She declined having a song writer come in with her for a couple of weeks to write some new material wanting to use songs she had already written instead. This meant she could go straight into recording. If all went right she would have a rough copy of the album by the time she was meant to leave for Australia.

Lena grinned at John, her producer, giving him an enthusiastic head nod. "You have no idea how ready I am."

"Great! Get in there then!" John laughed. "We'll work on Low first."

Lena walked into the recording booth excited to be recording her first song. "Just start at the chorus and we'll work from there. Remember to put as much emotion as you can into it. Get fucking pissed off!" John said into her headphones.

Lena gave him him a thumbs up. They had a band come in already and record the music, drums and keys, while she would do all the singing and guitar for it. She listened to the music waiting for her cue and then she sang trying to get the emotion right.

"You make me feel low, don't make me feel low." Lena felt the anger she had when she first wrote the song. "'Cause I tried so hard to convince myself it's ok to feel this way. You make me feel low, don't make me feel low. If I can't have you I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so, don't make me, don't make me feel low."

John gave her a thumbs up. "That was good but you need to get angrier. Ya know? Really make people believe this guy was an asshole."

That wouldn't be too hard she had plenty of evidence against him. She grinned, "Got it."