Grade 8

Lena found herself on a yacht for the second time in her life. The boys had rented the large boat even though it was just barely warm enough to be outside with out a jacket. They claimed they were used to the cold. Lena on the other hand stayed away from the water bundled up in a sweater and jeans. The 5 Seconds of Summer boys joined them for a fun day on the Australian water.

Lena sat at the very front of the boat alone watching the water as they made their way into deeper water. She hadn't wanted to be here. It was only after Louis and Ashton had practically dragged her out of bed that she finally agreed. Not only was she not happy to be stuck in the middle of an ocean with Harry and Niall but she couldn't swim with them now that she had something to hide. She had started hurting herself again and if she wanted to keep that a secret she had to keep her legs covered.

Harry hadn't tried talking to her since the day before he'd actually been avoiding her something she had mixed feelings on. She was happy he was leaving her alone but at the same time she hates the distance between them now. She didn't even have Niall to keep her company while Harry was being like this.

"Oh sorry. Didn't realize anyone was up here." The decidedly Australian voice apologized.

"No it's fine." Lena smiled patting the spot next to her. "Wouldn't mind a little company."

Luke sat down next to her barely any space between them. "Have you been here before?"

"No." Lena shook her head. "I've always wanted to though."

"What do you think so far?"

"It's amazing." Lena smiled. "I've never left the States before so this is pretty exciting."

"Maybe I could show you around Sydney before we move on?" Luke questioned.

Lena glanced at him noting the red tint his cheeks had taken. "That would be lovely."

Luke beamed at her blue eyes sparkling bright. "Cool." He leaned back into the wall getting more comfortable.

"I like your tattoos." Luke's face instantly went red. "Uh, they're cool."

"Thank you." Lena laughed. "Have you got any?"

"Nah, not quite old enough to get one." Luke shrugged.

They went from there just getting to know each other. It was nice to have someone look at her in away that made her feel wanted again. It just wasn't the same though coming from someone other then Harry. Luke was nice, and cute, but he wasn't Harry. Nonetheless she smiled and laughed and looked at Luke like he wanted her to.

It was strange for her how fast her feelings for Harry grew. It wasn't until they were done that it hit her fully; her feelings. She was falling for him. In the short amount of time they spent together she fell for him in away she never thought she would. He was apart of her now someone she would never forget; no matter how hard she tried to forget him.



"Where's Luke?" Calum asked confused by his best friends disappearance.

"Went to the front deck." Michael told him.

"Isn't that where Lena is?" Louis questioned looking around for her.

"Probably." Ashton laughed. "He's got a major hard on for her."

"What?" Harry asked his voice harsher then he had intended.

Calum looked around for a second confused. "Uh, he likes her?"

Harry stood up storming away from them towards the deck where Luke and Lena were sat alone.

"What the fuck was that?" Ashton asked eyes wide.

"They dated?" Louis asked looking to Niall for help. "For lack of a better term."

"Well shit. Should we save Luke?" Calum asked suddenly concerned.

"Nah, he should be fine." Niall waved him away. "Harry wouldn't hurt a fly."

Zayn let out a sound of protest. "Don't know about that."

Harry rounded the corner to the upper deck eyes instantly landing on Luke and Lena who were in the middle of a laughing fit. He looked between them frowning. He didn't like their close proximity or the way he was making her laugh.

"Lena." Harry said catching their attention. "Can you come with me?"

Lena's laughter fell away quickly. She glanced from Luke to Harry who were having one of those stare downs boys like to do.

"I'll be back." She stood up walking to Harry. "You better have a good reason for this."

Harry took her to the lower deck where they could talk in private. Lena had only agreed to this to stop him from getting into it with Luke. She never liked seeing Harry's anger directed at other people when they didn't deserve it.

"What were you doing?" Harry asked once the door to the lower deck was closed behind him.

"I was talking to Luke?" Lena asked with a shrug. "Is that a problem?"

"Yes!" Harry yelled. "He likes you!" The way he said it like the thought of Luke liking her was completely out of the realm of possibility instantly made Lena's blood boil.

"So?" Lena crossed her arms in front of her.

"So, what do you think your doing?" Harry demanded again. "He's a kid you know that right?"

"Calm down." Lena rolled her eyes. "I'm just talking to him. God, you act like you own me or something."

"I'm sorry." Harry sighed. "I just don't like you talking to him."

"You really have no say in that." Lena took a step towards the door. "You spent weeks hating me, then spent weeks pretending to like me. That doesn't give you any right to decide who I can and can't talk to."

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" Harry yelled. "I'm sorry for how I treated you before, but I was never pretending to like you."

"I really don't want to talk to you about this." Lena tried to move past him but Harry caught her arm holding her in place. "Let go Harry."

"I'm trying to tell you something!" Harry's eyes were ablaze with so much emotion Lena couldn't figure out what was going on inside his head. "Things have changed -"

"I don't want to talk to you Harry." Lena fixed him with a steady look. "We're done just accept that."

"We are not done." Harry closed his eyes trying to calm down but failing. Lena would always be the one to calm him down but when she was the one fighting him she would always be his biggest stressor. "Everything can go back to the way it was!"

"Hey man I think you should probably leave her alone."

Lena looked behind Harry where Luke stood standing against the door frame. Harry looked over his shoulder at him to give him a glare. His hand dropped from her arm, lena brought it to her chest so he couldn't grab on to her again. Harry didn't want to have a problem with Luke but if he kept following Lena around there would be a problem.

"It's fine." Lena said to Luke hoping he would leave. She really didn't need him to get involved. "Really, Luke, he was just leaving anyway."

Harry looked back at her jaw dropping. "I was not!"

"Yes you were." Lena's jaw clenched as she looked at him hatred evident in her brown eyes. "I've already told you we have nothing to talk about."

"Seriously mate, I think it would be best if you left." Luke spoke up again.

Harry looked at Lena a second longer then he turned away from her. As he passed Luke their shoulders hit in what was meant to be a warning to Luke. Lena felt her body unwind from the tension Harry had caused.

"Thanks." Lena said weakly to Luke. "But next time you might want to stay out of it."

"Sorry, I didn't like the way he was talking to you." Luke pushed his hair back from his forehead. "So whats that about? Were you guys like together?"

Lena sighed. "No. Not really."

Luke raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on it any further. "Alright. They're bringing some food out for us. If you're hungry?"

"I'm starving." Lena smiled. "I'll meet you up there."

Once Luke was gone she sat down on a chair letting out a heavy breath. She really wanted to be back at the hotel. She could feel the wall she had carefully built in the weeks since she had last been around Harry crumbling. That itch to do something to feel in control again creeping up on her. She wrapped her arms around her body as her breath came in gasps. She felt off balance and her brain was a mess as every insecurity and horrid thought came to mind. It was always like this no matter the trigger for it. It didn't matter what made her off balance there would always be voices in her head telling her everything that was wrong with her; and now every reason why Harry would never love her.

"Lena, are you alright?"

The door opened Niall's blonde head peaking around it. Lena let out a strangled noise as tears threatened to fall. Niall knew instantly what was happening. Lena had explained to him once what it was like when she had a panic attack. He shut the door quickly before sitting next to her.

"Lena you need to calm down." He whispered; running his hand over her back trying to calm her. "You can't breath properly if you're all worked up."

Lena looked at him eyes wide as she tried to get air in her lungs. Niall kept whispering words of encouragement until finally she took in a sharp breath followed by another. Slowly her breathing went back to normal it was still another long moment before she spoke.

"Sorry."

Niall met her eyes and all she saw was sadness in them. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I know you don't want to be here, comforting me." Lena shrugged his arm off of her. "I'm fine now."

"Lena." Niall sighed. "I'm not mad at you. I never was. I just get worked up when Sam is involved."

"I understand." Lena looked away. "Please don't tell anyone about this."

"You know I won't." Niall hesitated before asking what he needed to ask. "How long have you been doing it again?"

Lena closed her eyes head falling in shame. "Since the night of Ed's party."

"Because of Harry." There was anger then replacing the sadness that had come to him when he first realized what was happening to her. "That fuckin'-"

"Niall, please don't say anything to him." Lena rushed to say as Niall's body tensed. "Please."

It was the desperation in her voice that kept him from going to Harry and giving him what he deserved. For Niall what Harry did, putting Lena in this bad place, was inexcusable. He didn't care if he never meant to do it, that it was never his intention, because Harry did the one thing he always said he'd never do. Make a girl feel so low she hates herself. Harry was always the one to stick up for a woman when one of the boys was being a little shallow or mean about her. He was now the person he detested most. Someone he always vowed to never be.

"Alright." Niall sighed. "I won't."