Grade 8

Niall woke up to an empty bed.

Not that he normally had anyone occupying it when Sam wasn't around, but it felt different this time. Like it wasn't just an empty bed it felt lonely. He went about his morning like he normally did; showering and finding clean clothes to wear, but trough it all there was something off. He was just sorting through his bag of snap backs when there was a knock on the door.

"We need to leave in ten." Paul told him at the door.

He grabbed a hat before checking himself out in the mirror. Satisfied with his appearance he left his room all the while trying to shake the weird feeling he had.

At the venue everyone was gathered around the stage, crew and performers a like. Up until this point no one thought anything of the random meeting. Paul went on the stage and that's when Niall noticed someone was missing.

"Where's Lena?" He voiced looking around some more.

"That's what I need to talk to all of you about." Paul started.

The atmosphere in the room shifted. Everyone was looking around for the answer as if anyone else knew what was happening.

"Is she alright?" Harry asked concerned.

"She's fine." Paul answered. "Unfortunately Lena has decided to leave the tour early."

"What?" Niall asked head snapping up. "What are you talking about?"

He had just been with Lena the night before. She hadn't said anything to him about leaving.

"She's on a plane right now back to Arizona."

"Call her and tell her she has to come back." Niall was acting childish, he knew this, but he couldn't believe this was happening.

"I can't." Paul was getting visibly frustrated now.

"Yes, you-"

"Niall shut up." Harry looked at his blonde friend eyes cold. "Just shut up already. She doesn't want to be here."

"Yeah and who's fault is that?" Niall asked harshly.

"Mine." Harry admitted, he looked down for a moment his tongue darting out to wet his suddenly dry lips. "It's all my fault."

"Alright." Paul held up a hand. He was starting to get a migraine. "That's enough of that. Lena isn't coming back end of story."

"We never got to say goodbye." Liam looked around at the other boys seeing a similar look present for each of them.

They had all fallen in love with Lena, purely friendship wise for four of the five of them, it hurt that she didn't want to say goodbye to them. She had become a pivotal role in their lives on this tour. Helping them through crisis after crisis. Bringing in a outside point of view when needed to fix a situation. Without her it wouldn't feel the same.

"Im sorry guys." Paul genuinely looked it which didn't help how they felt. "She insisted on not saying anything."

"How long have you known?" Louis asked eyes narrowing.

"A few days." Paul admitted. "She asked me not say anything and I respected that."

"She's been planning this for days?" Niall looked absolutely torn up. "Why wouldn't she say something."

"Because we would have stopped her had she said something." Zayn spoke up. "She wasn't happy, Niall, it was best for her to leave."

"She didn't do this to hurt you." Paul tried to fix the situation. "If she wasn't happy then she couldn't stay."

Harry stayed silent through this guilt building in his stomach. It was his fault she was gone. If he had been able to make her happy she would still be with them.

"So what now?" Ashton asked. "Does this change the show at all?"

"You guys can play two extra songs." Paul said moving on to the next topic. "I'll need the new set list in an hour."

Just like that they were supposed to move on. Niall stormed out of the arena heading for the dressing room to take his anger out on something; anything. Harry was the last to move from his seat. He couldn't believe he had driven Lena away. Stopped her from completing her first tour. All because of his selfishness.



Harry stood in his spot for the opening song the normal adrenaline gone replaced by something he couldn't put his finger on. There just seconds left before the wall in from of him would move revealing him to the crowd of fans eagerly awaiting his arrival. He took a deep breath as the wall started to move upwards the screaming just barely heard through his in-ears. As out of it as he felt he had to preform like nothing was wrong. Like his heart hadn't just left in the middle on a plane in the middle of the night.

He could see the crowd now. He could hear Liam singing the opening notes but he couldn't move. He was stuck as there was a sudden sadness taking over his body. He could feel people behind him unseen by the fans going mental over his actions, or lack of action. He brought the microphone to his lips but nothing came out. He was frozen.

And then he wasn't.

He turned away jumping off the stage hand covering his mouth as he was surrounded by people. Suddenly a bucket was thrust in front of him in which he lost everything he had to eat in the last day; which was very little to start with. He was handed a cold bottle of water which was drank within seconds. He gave a quick thumbs up before jumping back up on to the platform as if nothing had happened. He jumped into the end of the song and ignored the worried glances from his bandmates. They would just have to wait to ask him about it.

Two songs later he was sat on a platform with Zayn while the other boys talked with the crowd. Zayn was oddly silent when he was normally laughing with Harry about something.

"Alright?" He finally asked close to Harry's ear to be heard over the screams and through their in-ears.

"Fine." Harry mouthed back. This was not the time for a heart to heart with Zayn.

Zayn shrugged accepting the answer for now. Harry looked out at the fans trying to muster up something to make them smile. He waved at a few of them, made a few silly faces, and tried to act like himself. When they went back stage for quick change he sidestepped past Lou who had made a beeline for him.

"Go take care of someone else." He roughly mumbled eyes down to the floor.

He pulled his sweat drenched shirt off his body taking the new from a stage hand before putting it on. No one tried to talk to him because they all knew why he was so off kilter. He was back on stage before he knew it singing more songs he couldn't bring himself to be passionate about. When Twitter questions came he didn't say much just walked around the second stage like a lost puppy. He didn't participate in the foolish playing around the others did just stood back while they wrestled around.

By the end of the show he was seconds away from losing it altogether. He was the first in the showers going directly there once off the stage. The steam was enough to clear his head to keep from blowing up. He felt guilty. And sad. But most of all he felt angry. How could she just leave like this? Leave all of them without a good bye. Did they mean nothing to her at all? He wanted so badly to yell at her, to tell her what she had done to all of them, but instead he just shut off the water to the shower. He dried himself off and redressed in clean clothes.

He waited for the others in the dressing room with his headphones on and eyes closed. No one approached him. No one asked how he was. No one tried to talk to him about what happened on stage. Everyone just left him alone. He had never been happier to feel as alone as he felt. He had always hated being alone it made him feel terrible but for once he was happy to be alone. He didn't need anyone bothering him.

He walked like a zombie behind the rest of the large group heading to the buses. Lou was just in front of him chatting with Michael about what color his hair should be next since he was already bored of the blue color it was now. Harry listened to them letting his brain fill up with thoughts of something other then his own self deprecating ones, without music to distract him he'd take anything.

"Harry, what do you think?" He asked turning to look at him.

"I quite like your natural color."

Michael's smile grew. "I hadn't thought of that."

Lou sent him a smile her own way of letting him know she was there. "Alright, H?"

"Fine." He shrugged. "Been thinking about dying my hair, what do you think?"

"I think you should go mental with it." Lou grinned. "Do it proper, yeah?"

"Perfect."

Lou fell back enough to walk beside Harry her arm coming to rest around his middle. "You're alright, kid."

"Not so bad yourself, Louise." Harry teased bring his arm up to drape around her shoulders.

"Wanker."