Grade 8

Harry sat with his phone in his hand scrolling through a twitter feed that hadn't been active in months. He liked to do that to torture himself on a bad day. There were days when he almost dialed her number. And those lonely nights when he just wanted someone next to him all he could think of was her. The way she laughed still rang in his ears and if he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough he could almost feel her laying next to him.

"You're hopeless. You know that right?"

Harry glanced to the other side of the room where Lou was getting Lux ready for bed. "I am not."

"Yes you are." Lou stood up with Lux in her arms. "Isn't he Luxy?"

Lux looked at Harry with her big eyes and gave a nod. "Love you!"

"I love you too, Lux." He watched Lou leave the room with her before his eyes went back to his phone. He didn't get very far though as he was once again interrupted.

"Alright I was sent in here to give you a man to man talk." Tom announced snatching the phone from Harry's hand his eyes scanned the screen for only a moment before it was shoved into his jeans pocket. "You were right, love! He was on her twitter!"

"You know I don't appreciate the two of you ganging up on me." Harry grumbled not even bothering to try and get his phone back.

"Hey, I'd rather not have to have a man to man talk but I gotta listen to the woman." Tom shrugged. He sat down next to Harry his legs coming up on to the table in front of them matching Harry's position on the couch. "Alright, so talk to me."

"I don't want to talk." Harry groaned. "What is with Lou and always making me talk?"

"It's good for you!" Lou called from down the hall.

Harry and Tom shared a look. "I've got this, love!"

"Doesn't sound like it to me!"

"Will you talk before she hurts the both of us?" Tom whispered. "I'm lookin' to get lucky tonight so I'd rather not muck this up."

Harry shoved Tom away from him. "Don't tell me that. I have to sleep down the hall you know."

"About that how long were you planning on staying here?" Tom asked slowly. "Not that we haven't enjoyed having you here we were just curious."

"I've over stayed my welcome haven't I?" Harry had been wondering how long he could stay on their couch before they wanted him gone.

"No not at all!" Tom quickly waved away Harry's concern. "We love having you here! You know that! We're just concerned."

"About what?"

"You've only been home one night since getting back from tour. That was over two months ago." Tom let that sink in before he spoke again. "Don't you think it's time you, ya know, went home?"

The thought of going to his empty house scared the shit out of Harry. He couldn't admit that to anyone thought they would just worry even more. It had felt empty before the tour and now after knowing what it felt like to wake up to Lena he didn't want to be alone. Having Lou and Tom in the same house as him every night at least helped the loneliness enough for him to get a few hours rest. He didn't know what he'd do with out someone with him.

"Yeah, you're right. Tomorrow I'll go home, alright?"

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Tom picked up a discarded guitar pick examining it while he waited for Harry's reply.

"No." Harry shrugged. "Not much to say; I miss her. That's it."

"It's ok to miss her." Tom said dropping the guitar pick back on to the table. "I miss Lou like crazy when she's gone. I go mental really."

"It's different though isn't it?" Harry sighed. "We aren't together and she isn't coming back to me at some point. I fucked up and she isn't coming back."

"I don't think looking at her twitter for hours is going to fix that." Tom gave Harry his phone back then. "Missing her is fine, you probably always will, but you need to live your life. Not waste it away wishing she was here with you. That isn't anyway to live."

"I'm a mess." Harry laughed shaking his head. "A right proper mess."

"Yeah, but we've cleaned you up before. Won't be too hard to do it again, yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry smiled at his friend. "Thanks for the man to man talk."

"Anytime." Tom grinned. "We're done talking! I did amazing just so you know!"



Gemma walked through the door phone pressed to her ear as she listened to her mum go on about Harry's well being. It had been like this since she had gotten off the train from Sheffield, Anne had wanted to make sure Gemma was going directly to Harry's and hadn't stopped talking since then.

"Mum, I'm here." She looked around the empty living room brows furrowed. She listened to her mum rattle off a few more instructions. "Alright, goodbye mum."

Gemma locked her phone before setting it down on the table next to her purse. She left her suitcase at the door not bothering with it for the time being.

"Harry?"

She wondered past the dark kitchen down the hall past the three guest rooms; one of which she would be occupying for quite some time. The stairs at the end of the hall lead to the second level where Harry's room was. The door to Harry's room was closed but the faint sound of the music he was listening to could be heard. She opened the door slowly not sure what she would find behind the closed door.

"What are you doing?" If she wasn't concerned for her brothers sanity before she was now.

He was sitting on the floor of his room long legs out in front of him. He had piles of CDs surrounding him and his laptop sat between his legs where the loud music was coming from.

Harry glanced up blinking once before he paused the music. "Reorganizing my collection."

"I see." Gemma nodded her head as if she understood.

"I already did my records, they're in the living room if you wanna look. I'll probably do my books next."

"Maybe later." Gemma stepped over the CDs to sit down on his unmade bed. "What started this?"

"Couldn't sleep so I just started and couldn't stop."

This was why Gemma was there. Lou had called the day before worried about Harry being alone in his house. This of course stirred up enough troubling thoughts that Gemma made arrangements to stay with Harry, he just didn't know it yet.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked his attention on an old Coldplay cd.

"I'm staying here for awhile."

"What's wrong with your flat?" Harry turned to look at her suddenly concerned.

"Nothing. Just thought I'd spend some time with my little brother." The look that crossed Harry's features made Gemma internally wince, he knew why she was there.

"Lou called you." His lips curled into a snarl.

"She's worried about you. Don't be mad." Gemma quickly tried to defuse his anger.

"I'm doing fine." Harry turned back to his CDs but he didn't pick another one up just stared at them.

"Have you slept since you left Lou's?"

"Yes."

"Like a full eight hours?" Gemma questioned. "It doesn't look like it."

"I'm fine, Gemma." Harry sighed. "I wish everyone would just believe me."

"You aren't sleeping Harry, that isn't fine." Gemma tried reasoning with him.

"I did just spend almost a year around people. It's just going to take me a little while to get used to being alone again." Harry shrugged. "I'm fine other then that."

Gemma didn't say anything instead she moved to sit next to him pulling a pile of CDs closer. "So how are you organizing them?"

"By year." Harry answered taking a cd from his own pile. "Those ones over there are done and have a sticky note on them with the year."

They sat side by side going through CDs while Harry's computer played a continuous playlist of music. They worked silently not needing to say anything.



Niall sat with Sam arm resting on the back of her chair. They were at Louis' for dinner all of the boys and their plus ones had made it, excluding Zayn and Liam who were currently girlfriend-less. Harry had brought Gemma who got on well with Sam and Eleanor, Louis' long time girlfriend. They had just finished dinner, Louis had actually cooked this time it was just homemade pizza but for Louis it was a miracle he didn't burn the house down, but no one had made the move to leave the table.

"Are you going to tell them?" Sam whispered hoping only Niall could hear.

"Haven't decided yet." He answered lips barely moving.

Lena had finally answered his call. Calling her had been habit for him never expecting her to answer but wanting her to know he was still there for her. When she answered he was sure it was his mind playing a trick on him.

He was sitting at home alone, Sam was with her roommate spending some time just the two of them and Olly for the day, and with nothing else to do he called her. He tried not to call everyday but most days he couldn't help himself.

"Hello?" She had asked again when he didn't say anything the first time; her voice changing from timid to concerned. "Niall?"

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. "Lena."

He heard her take in a breath just as affected by this phone call as he was. "Hi Ni."

They were silent neither of them know what to say until finally Niall broke the silence. "How are you?"

"I'm better."

"Good."

"Yeah." Lena took in another big breath. "Look Niall, I think you need to stop calling."

Niall had been taken a back. He hadn't expected her to not want him to call, especially now that she had finally answered.

"Why?" He asked his spirits dropping.

"I'm trying to figure my shit out and having you call everyday isn't helping me." Lena tried to explain. "When I'm ready I'll call you."

"How long will that be?"

"I don't know yet."

He wasn't sure how to tell the lads about the call, it had been a week now since he had called, he was still processing it himself. Sam wanted him to tell everyone reasoning with him that they'd want to know.

"You need to tell them." Sam gave him a stern look.

"What are you two whispering about?" Louis asked eyeing them suspiciously.

"Nothing." Niall quickly said, too quickly for anyone to believe him.

"We were talking about a phone call Niall had the other day." Sam said taking the lead on the conversation for Niall. "Right, Niall?"

Niall gave Sam a narrow eyes look before looking around the table. "Lena finally answered."

There was a moment of silence as everyone's eyes drifted to Harry. He was looking at Niall with an unreadable expression until finally he said something.

"What did she say?" He asked his tone just as unreadable.

"Nothing really." Niall said not elaborating further.

"Care to explain a little more?" Louis pushed. "Don't leave us in suspense mate!"

"She said she's doing better." Niall answered. "And to stop calling."

"We haven't been calling." Liam looked confused.

"I have." Niall admitted. "Probably more then I should have."

"She just needs time." Sam reminded him.

There was a sudden movement from Harry as he pushed his chair away from the table. Everyone was too shocked to ask where he was going and by the time the were over it he was already outside. He walked as far from the house as he could without leaving the gate surrounding Louis' home. He wasted no time in finding Lena's number and calling her. He wasn't surprised when there wasn't any answer.

"I don't know who you think you are?" He began talking to her answering machine. "Telling Niall not to call. He's been worried sick about you. We all have! You're such a fucking coward for leaving like you did. Not telling anyone what you were doing, do you know how that felt?"

Harry tried to calm himself by taking a deep breath. It wasn't any use taking his anger out on her like this.

"Don't push Niall away because of me." He finished hanging the phone up before he did anymore damage.

It was another few minutes before he was ready to go back inside to face everyone. They had moved to the living room to play a game of charades, Louis' idea of course.

"You alright?" Gemma asked when Harry fell on on to the couch next to her.

"I'm fine." He lied.

He was far from fine. He hadn't been fine since Lena told him they would never work. All the progress he thought he made was a lie; it only took one conversation about her to send him spiraling back to where he was before.

He needed her.