Grade 8

They were on their way to New York, one of the many places Harry enjoyed going to. Only this time the city was tainted for him she would be with them the whole time they were in New York. While his mood had improved since they arrived in America having a distraction everyday while they were in new place had been nice. Now though he had to face his problem head on. He hasn't spoken to Alexis since December when she had told him about her and Zayn the pain was still fresh all these months later. He was avoiding having to deal with it choosing to ignore Zayn and pretend Alexis never existed in his life. This had worked until he found she would be with them while they were in New York. He knew being mad at Zayn wasn't helping anything, he hadn't even known about Harry's feelings for her; but he just couldn't think about Alexis being with him.

He was sat at the table in the bus his laptop in front of him while he listened to a track he had recorded when he was in LA last. He couldn't hear the rambunctious noise coming from the back of the bus but he knew it was there. Lena was on the couch across the bus with him. He had been irritated when he saw her lay down on the couch he had hoped to stay away from her. His attitude towards her wasn't going to change, at least that's what he kept telling himself. Everything about her normally would have him begging her for a date. From her looks, which if he was being honest he found her to be beautiful not just fit like he had originally thought; her tattoos were amazing, he often found himself looking over them finding a new one every time; and she was so passionate about music something most people lacked yet they still made music, she loved music it was so obvious and endearing. She always smelled like coconut, even on a bus full of smelly boys she smelled like coconut leaving the scent trailing behind her.

He was lost in thought now his gaze still lingering on the girl his thoughts were on. She wasn't letting his attitude bother her surprisingly, he had grown to know she was usually very timid about everything especially confrontation. She had kept the same cold demeanor towards him as he had her only snapping at him a few times. He had only ever seen her lose her cool once and that was because Louis had moved her guitar even Harry wasn't stupid enough to do that.

He was attracted to her of course. There had been a few lust filled thoughts on the few occasions she had been half naked in front of him. He wanted to touch very inch of her tan skin and know the secret behind each tattoo, and run his fingers through her dark hair. He wanted to know what it felt like to have her underneath him moaning his name. All of this he kept to himself of course. He had seen the other boys look at her in the same way when she would walk around in her bra like she didn't care that there were five hormonal boys around. Whenever he saw them look at her that way there was a part of him that wanted to hit them for it, he could look but they better not.



Lena lounged on the couch in the back of the bus a game controller in her hand. Louis sat next to her his body tense as he tried to beat her in a game of FIFA. They had just arrived in New York but had to wait until it was safe to leave the bus. There was a sudden commotion from the front of the bus causing Lena to look away giving Louis the chance to score a goal evening up the scores.

"Yes!" Louis cheered.

Lena pressed pause on the game earning a few choice words from Louis. "I'm going to go see what's going on."

Lena walked through the small walk way between the bunks Louis right behind her. The front of the bus was loud as a brunette girl stood in the middle of all the commotion. From the way Zayn had his arm around her it was easy to figure out who she was. She was just as pretty as Lena had pictured. She could tell why both Zayn and Harry fell for her. She was thin but not thin enough to be worrisome but thin enough to make Lena wish she had spent more time at the gym; and she looked like a million bucks, literally, her lips painted red and dark hair pulled up into a messy bun. Her ears were stretched which Lena hadn't expected but thought it fit her over all look. Lena saw her resemblance to her brother Adam, they both had that effortlessly hot thing going for them too.

"So that's Alexis." Lena mumbled.

"Louis!" Alexis called her smile wide when she spotted Louis.

Louis walked around Lena to give Alexis a hug. As soon as he stepped away Alexis' dark eyes were on Lena.

"You must be Lena." Alexis said her tone not as friendly as it should have been. "I'm Alexis."

"I know who you are." Lena gave her a strained smile. "I've heard quite a bit about you."

The double meaning wasn't lost on Alexis her smile dropped slightly. "That's doesn't sound good." She tried to laugh hoping to ease the tension.

"Can we get back to our match now?" Louis asked done with the greetings. He wasn't entirely too happy to see Alexis, mostly because Harry looked like he was being stabbed in the heart repeatedly. "I was starting to make a come back."

"You couldn't beat me if I was blindfolded, Tomlinson." Lena shot already making her way to the back room.

"That sounds like a challenge, Gold."

Lena and Louis retreated to the back room returning to their match. They had been playing for only a few minutes, Lena was just about to make another goal, when Louis suddenly paused the game.

"Louis!" Lena cried turning to him. "You're such an ass!"

Lena's jaw dropped when she realized why he had paused the game. Harry was standing in the door a completely defeated look across his handsome features. It seemed Louis and him were having a silent conversation before Harry turned away.

"What was that?" Lena asked when Louis looked back at the screen a sigh escaping him.

"He's not doing so great with Alexis being around." Louis mumbled already off the couch. "I better go check on him."

"I can do it." Before Louis had a chance to stop her Lena was making her way to the bunks.

She stopped beside Harry's bunk. It was right across from hers on the top, he slept above Louis while Zayn was under Lena's, the curtain was closed of course.

"Harry, are you alright?"

There was silence from the other side of the curtain. Lena waited a another second before cautiously pulling back the curtain. She expected Harry to be angry with her for bugging him but he just looked at her like all the fight was out of him.

"Louis wants to know if you're alright." Lena said rocking back and forth on her heels. "So are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He replied with a shrug. "I'd be better if you weren't bugging me."

That familiar glare was there again. "Yeah alright."

Lena turne away from him heading back to the lounge. Louis looked up from his phone eyebrows raises.

"We'll you're still alive and I didn't hear any yelling."

"Yeah he was pretty civil when he told me to leave him alone." Lena confirmed. "Well as civil as he can be."

"Can I ask you something?" Louis asked picking up a game controller.

"Go for it." Lena picked up her controller ready to play again.

"If you hate him so much why did you go talk to him just now?"

Lena shrugged. "I don't hate him. He just gets on my nerves."

"Still why did you?"

"I don't know." Lena answered. "Probably because i think what Alexis did to him is incredibly shitty. I know this isn't normally how he is. I guess I just hate seeing anyone hurt really."

"You know what happened?" Louis asked surprised. The boys had come to a decision to not tell Lena what was going on unless Harry wanted them to.

"I know enough."

"You know he's mean to you because he doesn't want to get hurt." Louis looked at her giving her a large grin. "I think he likes you."

"Lou said the same thing. Well not the liking me part."

Louis laughed shaking his head. Of course Lou had told her. "That Lou is a smart woman."

"I don't know how I could hurt him." Lena looked down at the controller in her hand fiddling with the joystick.

"He would fall in love with you if he let himself."

"That is not happening." Lena said eyes wide. "We can't stand each other and that's not going to change."

Lena had never been in love she wrote songs about how she thought being in love would be like although she had been in a few shitty relationships. Could she love Harry? Yes she found him attractive, but so were the other four guys, and yes she did sometimes find her mind wondering into sinful territory, but love no way. Harry got under her skin without having to try at all. Everything about him just made her go crazy from his ridiculous hair to his unnatural obsession with bananas. He made too many stupid jokes that he found hilarious but no one else did. Harry Styles was the last person she would ever fall in love with.

"We'll see." Louis gave her a cheeky grin then without warning turned their game back on successfully scoring a goal against her.



It was nearing midnight and Harry was slowly losing his sanity. He wasn't allowed to leave the hotel; he had tried earlier and was mobbed resulting in a nice long lecture from Paul. He just needed a distraction his thoughts going to Alexis constantly.

Pacing had done the trick for a few minutes, TV for another hour and now he was left with nothing. He didn't want to be around anyone which brought his options done considerably, it would be easy to go to someone else's room for awhile.

He was starting to understand why Zayn used drugs. All of this pressure he felt could be hidden easy if only he had something to mask the pain. Zayn couldn't handle fame and Harry couldn't couldn't handle himself. It was different situations but the same feeling. That same feeling of being utterly alone. It had always been a fear of Harry's to be alone and at first being put into a group was great it meant need having to be alone. He wanted to always be surrounded by friends doing anything and everything for them even being around people he wouldn't necessarily want to be around. All for the same of not being alone. Even with more friends there was still that emptiness that needed to be filled someway.

For awhile sleeping around had done the trick. Sleeping on people's couches for a few months was another way he quenched the fear. There was always the desire to be with someone though he had been a few good relationships but never any that amounted to too much. Alexis was the first person he had fallen for since being in One Direction no one else had gotten to him like she had. Maybe it was because she didn't feel the same or maybe he just didn't know what love is.

With too much going on in his head Harry grabbed his running shoes and room key. This was one of those night punching something was the only cure for.