Sequel: Rendering Flames
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Wanderlust

Ten

I was sitting on top of a large rock, leaning against the tree behind it. I irritably snapped twigs, tossing them to the ground. I wasn't far from the house but I was far enough that I was alone. I was just mad, letting my temper get the best of me. Something about Jaden just made me snap, it bothered me.

I imagined the next twig I snapped being Jaden's neck. I didn't feel any better after I broke it in two, I tossed it to the ground. I was out of twigs, much like reasons as to why I had let him get my goat. I felt the imprint of the small knives in a zipped pocket of my pants. I took one out and bent down to grab another twig, this time I was just going to carve at it.

As I focused on sharpening the twig, I knew it was only a matter of time before some one came looking for me. I didn't think it was childish for me to walk off, I was just overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do with the anger I had towards him at the time, my first instinct was to go back to something I found familiar. They surely could understand that. Like clockwork, I heard footstep closing in. I didn't bother to look up as I felt two presences beside me.

“Thought we'd find you out here,” I heard Mila's voice first speak.

I looked up to see Millie standing next to her, a guilty look on her face. “I didn't know that would happen, it never does.”

“Well it did,” I answered, still carving into the twig, “and you're lovely brother blames me for it.”

“He's just—,” Millie started but I finished her sentence.

“is difficult?” I told her, a slight spitefulness underlining my words.

“Yeah,” she looked to Mila her moved to sit parallel from me.

“If it helps, you pissed him off. If you piss Jaden off, it means you got to him as much as he did to you,” Mila offered.

I snorted, “That doesn't make me feel better.”

“He doesn't hate you,” Millie reminded, sitting next to Mila.

I threw her a look, “He does, pretty much told me he did.”

“He doesn't,” Millie said seriously, “trust me, I know he doesn't.”

I stopped carving and uncrossed my legs from under me, “Then how does he feel, Millie? Does he feel I'm part of the group? Does he feel like I'm not a burden because I know he does.”

“You are part of the group, whether he likes it or not,” Mila chimed in, “Jaden knows I'd kicked his ass if he told you to leave.”

“Thanks,” I sighed. We sat in silence for a few minutes, I tossed the twig to the ground. “So what's happening now? Is he complaining to Jay and Constantine like I'm complaining to you?”

Mila and Millie looked at each other, “No, um—Jaden doesn't like to really share things like that. Instead he does what you did and wanders off and goes and shoots things.”

“How comforting,” I voiced sarcastically.

Millie game me a strange smile, “The plus side of this is that you arguing with him has made you,” she searched for a word, “spunkier.”

I made a face, “Spunkier?”

“Yeah, like, you have attitude or something,” Mila shrugged, “it's reliving actually. I thought you didn't have emotions for awhile.” I could see how she could have thought that and only exhaled a stiff breath.

“I know something that will cheer you up!” Millie perked up suddenly, “there's a lake like half a mile from here, we can take a small trip down there tomorrow.”

“That would be really nice,” I smiled widely, “let's do it.”

“You can show us how to hold your breath!” Millie proposed.

“Hold her breath?” Mila looked between us bewildered.

“Dahlia can hold her breath under water for four minutes,” Millie told her like it was a prime achievement.

“Whoa, I got to see this,” Mila smiled, mocking Millie's strange delivery.

Millie pushed Mila as she stood up, waiting for me to follow. As I trailed behind them, feeling much better and actually happy, I was worried about how uncomfortable it would be next time I saw Jaden. Maybe he would talk to me less now, maybe he wouldn't even act like I existed. That would be okay, I didn't want confrontation.

As I entered the house, Jay and Constantine were both eating a can of soup. I grabbed one and peeled back the lid, my stomach growling. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, which was bad because I was gaining some weight back little by little. I didn't want to lose the weight again.

“You good?” Jay asked with a mouth full of soup.

“Yeah,” I nodded, taking a sip of the broth. It was cold and little unappetizing but it was the best meal I'd had in weeks probably.

We sat around, drinking our soup as the sun went down and the dark overcast of the night sky took over. I felt better, not so angry anymore. I was content and tired from today, especially today's events. Constantine had his own room, he preferred it that way. Jay and Mila shared on but slept on separate sides of the room, an ongoing argument keeping them that way. Millie and I sat up and talked, a relaxed conversation that went on for who knows how long.

“I have clothes buried in the woods, we never keep belongs in the house in case someone were to come across it,” she told me as she sat up in her bed.

“Smart,” I noted, “you sure it's okay if I borrow some clothes?”

“Yeah, totally, you need them. You've been wearing the same thing for weeks now,” she wrinkled her nose and rolled my eyes.

“You trying to tell me something?” I joked.

She snorted, “I have a sports bra you can have that's old but I already have another one. They're way more comfortable than wearing a normal one all the time and I have shorts so you don't get so hot during the day.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” I got cozier into my blankets.

“Don't mention it, I'll wake you when I get up tomorrow?” She asked, turning the oil lamp out.

“If you would,” I yawned, sighing as I shut my eyes. I drifted off to sleep quickly, it was dreamless and light. I woke up with a start at the sound of the door opening.

My heart raced a little at the dark figure but as my eyes adjusted and I heard the clunking of boots hitting the floor, I realized it was only Jaden. I shrunk back quietly into my pillow, staring as he set his gun down next to his bed. He sat down on his bed and tossed the shirt he was wearing over his head, setting it lazily beside him as he laid down and folded his arms behind his head, sighing tiredly.

I felt bad about earlier, even though I was right, I should have kept it together more. Something about him accusing me and getting worked up made me worked up, I wasn't like that with anyone else and I had gotten on the brink of frustration many times when I couldn't learn things. I wanted to apologize but he'd probably brush it off. I had to stand my ground at some point, I couldn't keep apologizing for things, even if they aren't my fault. I would have to start standing up for myself a little, stop being so meek in a way. Self-entitlement is what I needed and I had to search for it.
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I had this chapter written for awhile, I didn't know if I liked or not. Turns out I do, after not reading it for a few days. Things will change after a few chapters, a story will start to form and we'll start to learn more about everyone, Dahlia especially.

I need some advice though? Do you think the story is ready for a a development, a little more mystery? Or should I hold off a little because the next chapter is written but it contains something that happens that I don't know if it's too soon to put out there or not.

Drop a Comment and give me some advice? It would mean the world!

I also put a theme up, it's not like the official theme though. The song just relates on a lot of different things, it can represent a few situations. And then the fact that Ellie Goulding is a princess and wins all the awards for this song (I write most of the chapters listening to it). You think I'd be sick of it by now.

Thanks to all the new subscribers and comments, you're all lovely!

Avec l'amour

-Mel