Wanderlust

“Come on,” I heard a murky voice huff, feeling incredible pressure on my chest. “Breath,” their voice shook in between the pumps on my chest. I felt something toil in my stomach, rising up my esophagus until a bitter salty taste entered my mouth. I jerked my eyes open, rolling over to vomit up lake water and bile. I coughed violently, my throat searing and sore. I rolled onto my back again, shutting my eyes as I tried to ignore the fiery feeling every time I inhaled fresh air.

“Dahlia,” I heard Jay's voice from above me, “are you alright? What happened?”

The memory ran through my head again and I breathed heavily, shaking my head quickly. I felt afraid for no reason, I felt like I was suppose to be fearful of this memory. I let my eyes open and Millie and Mila were sitting beside me, looking extremely worried.

I looked around and saw that I wasn't in the lake anymore, I was in the back of the Jeep, covered in blankets as Jay kept asking me questions. I tried sitting up but Jay held me down lightly, “You should take it easy, you didn't have air for a while and you're freezing.”

I pushed his hands away, sitting up fully. I felt the blood rush throughout my body with the movement, feeling lightheaded but tried to act fine. I needed space but I couldn't find my voice. I saw Constantine come walking over out of the corner of my eye, carrying a flashlight in his hand.

“You gave us a scare, darlin', your lips were blue,” he sighed, climbing into the Jeep and sitting next to me. “Let me check your vitals.”

I nodded weakly, turning my body toward him. He shine the light in my eyes and I looked away, my head hurting. He held a finger to my wrist, silently counting until he stopped and turned my head in different directions. His hand dropped from my neck, “Your vitals seem fine physically but you should really take it easy, you hear?”

I couldn't argue, I felt horrible. My chest hurt, my head hurt, hell, everything hurt. “Okay,” I promised him, my voice raspy.

He patted me lightly on the head, walking back inside the house. The others were staring at me like I was going to fall apart but I scooted forwards, stepping out of the Jeep. My legs feel rubbery but I managed pretty good, my goal just to make it to my bed.

I was still soaking wet, as were the others. I wanted to change but I didn't have the energy to do so, at least not yet. I got to my bed, Millie following behind me as I entered the room, Jay and Mila went back to their room to probably change. I slid down the wall and onto the bed, not looking at Millie as she did the same thing. I could practically hear her thoughts screaming to know what happened, why I passed out.

We sat in silence for minutes, my head clearing up and not throbbing as much anymore. My chest still burned, if not, worse. It would give me hell over the next few days, that was certain. I jumped as the door was kicked open, Jaden coming in and dropping two ten-gallon things of gasoline to the ground. He must have not been here for the whole ordeal.

He first looked towards Millie, “How was the lake thing? Everyone done?” He seemed eager to leave.

Millie glanced up at him, eventually shifting her eyes on me. I wasn't interested in Jaden's thought on what happened, I was right with him when wanting to leave this place. I wanted to get out of here.

“Wow, you look like shit,” he told me rather bluntly, my eyes snapped up to him.

“Jaden,” Millie quietly chastised, getting up quickly and dragging him out of the room.

His comment did make me feel a little annoyed but I brushed it off, reaching over and picking up dry clothes. I took my time getting to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, cutting off the hushed talking that Millie was doing to Jaden.

I dropped the clothes to the ground, changing out of my underwear and into a fresh pair. As I picked up my shirt, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. I flinched, Jaden wasn't lying. My face was pale and flushed, my neck was red and I looked completely vulnerable. The memory flashed in my head again and I shut my eyes, trying to push it from my thoughts. My hands gripped the sink as I let the memory fade away for now. This was not how I imagined remembering something. I wanted a small, meaningless memory. I didn't want a hallucination or a memory that was nightmarish.

I put the shirt on, taking another look at myself. I looked at my hairline, specifically around my temples. Did I dare look? I leaned in closer, pulling back my thick hair and saw only pale skin. I didn't see anything until I saw a very faint, unnatural looking skin pattern. It was circular and I saw it parallel to the other side of my head. I quickly dropped my hands away, panicking. I quickly stepped into my pants and picked up my dirty clothes. I swung the bathroom door open, trying to gather myself. I didn't 'want to cause anymore drama, I didn't want anymore attention. Besides, why would I tell anyone about this memory before I understood it myself. The only thing I understood was that I was afraid and I clueless as to where I was or who I thought that man was that was doing that to me. .

I shoved the wet clothes into my duffel and quietly folded the blankets up. Millie and Jaden's things were already packed and gone. I struggled to get a move on but I was shaking and my actions and thoughts were jumbled. I saw a pair of hands reach down and grab the blankets, taking them from me.

“I told you to take it easy,” Constantine told me seriously, taking the stuff out to the Jeep.

I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes for a second to try and calm myself. I left the duffel one the ground, knowing that I wasn't in the condition to be lifting anything and that Constantine was right, I needed to take it easy for the rest of the day. I slid into the back seat of the Jeep, Millie and Jaden talking about alternative routes to take as I shut the door behind me.

Millie turned, a pitying look on her face, “Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm fine,” I told her convincingly, wanting no more questions about the lake.

She seemed unsure but turned back around to face the front. This was going to be a long drive.

__________________________________________________________________________

The drive was quiet, Millie would look back at me everyone once in a while. I would see her turn out of the corner of my eye but I never looked or gave a assuring smile. I wasn't going to pretend that this didn't affect me but I wasn't going to let go open until I processed. I processed by staring at the passing landscape, it changed from trees and distant mountains to a more rugged landscape and then back. I didn't have the slightest clue to where we were but I knew we were close, the weather wasn't nearly as warm as it was earlier. The trip went of for hours until we had to stop and fill up the tanks, only taking a minute but I used it to stretch my legs. I pulled my hair back, wanting to put it up so it'd stop whipping around in my face but felt self-conscious when I remembered the discolored skin lying under my hair. Nobody would notice unless they looked for it but the thought of someone seeing it made me let my hair fall back into place.

As I climbed back into the Jeep, I sprawled out in the back. I rested my head on the bags, drifting in and out of sleep until the Jeep came to an abrupt stop, almost making me roll off onto the ground. I sat up, looking around and seeing tall mountains, taller than the ones I've seen. I felt like I would fall over from my eyes searching so high up.

“We still have a few hours,” Millie's voice cut in to my awe struck gaze at the mountains. “I'm going to be driving for awhile.”

I looked towards her, “Is that allowed?”

“Only when, Jaden, start screwing up the directions.” She rolled her eyes, climbing over to the driver's seat.

Jaden walked back from Constantine, sliding into the passenger's seat. “Go north,” he ordered, sinking into his seat.

“You sure that's right?” Millie mocked, pulling the Jeep into drive and turning towards north.

“Don't start.” Jaden sighed and I saw his eyes shut, the bags under his eyes were evident. I saw a satisfied smirk pull at Millie's mouth.

I resumed my position in the back seat, this time falling into a more restful sleep. At first it was a light sleep, a sleep where I could still feel the wind on my face as we drove through the mountainous country side. I drifted into a deeper sleep, a sleep where my conscious was no longer in control but my subconscious. I dreamed, I remembered the incident at the lake. The memory floated through me, causing me to have an outer body experience, seeing doubles of myself under that lake water. And then as if I was transported back to that moment, the moment when I first saw the memory present itself, I watched the memory play out but only further.

“Charging,” a woman spoke obediently. Her blonde hair was pulled back tightly, so tightly that it looked like her skin would rip from her skull.

“Double the voltage,” a deep, powerful voice ordered. I was in restraints on a metal table, I yanked at them desperately.

“Please,” I begged, tears sliding down my cheeks, “no more.”

“More,” the deep voice ordered after my pleading. “You need to be conditioned, you need to be filtered.”

“Stop,” I whimpered, seeing a hand come over me, shoving the rubber piece back into my mouth.

“Charging,” the blonde woman spoke, “shall I induce the current?”

“Yes,” the deep voice spoke. I saw him step forward from the shadowed corner, he was bald and broad. He wore a decorated jacket, adorn with metals and pins of every sort. His eyes were dead and intense as he gave the word. “Don't stop until she bleeds.”

My breath sped up as I prepared myself, hearing the buzz grow and the smell in the room shift to a metallic burning. I felt the electrical current travel through me, my body shaking and jolting against the current. I screamed, I felt blood ooze from my nostrils and my fingers grip into each other until the skin beneath my nails tore. My back lifted off the table, arching slightly as my muscles struggled to adhere to the strong electrical current. I could feel myself slipping, fading into oblivion. This was it, he had succeeded. Kruger had won.

“Dahlia!” A voice shouting broke me awake, I sprang upright. I was sweating and I steadied myself. “Are you alright? You're soaked with sweat.”

I looked over and saw Jay standing beside the Jeep, he had an eyebrow quirked at me, waiting for an answer. “I'm fine.”

I swung my legs around and let my head fall into my hands. I closed my eyes, feeling tears prick the back of my eyelids. I took a deep breath, sucking the tears back in. I took a calming breath, lowering my slightly shaky hand as I got out of the Jeep to catch up with the others. We were parked on a trail, tall redwood trees surrounded me in towering numbers. I could see the wall of a mountain ahead, but we walked in the opposite direction. As we turned, I saw a old wooden house. It looked like the last one we had just stayed in but it had a collapsing porch and a wilting eave. The stairs creaked under my steps and everyone stopped moving.

“You know the drill,” Jaden told us, turning the safety off his gun, “take your respected spots.”

That meant that I would be clearing the back again, right? I grabbed the handgun from its holster and swiftly moved in after, Jaden, had opened in the loose screen door and then the solid door behind it. I checked the rooms quickly, nothing seeming out of site. The rooms had cobwebs and pine needles scattered about but the windows were either boarded up or still in tack. This house was only a little better than the last.

I lowered my gun, no animals making their attack on me yet. I slid it back into my holster, making my way back out to the porch. Mila and Jay followed behind, waiting for Millie and Jaden to reappear. Constantine was starting to unload the duffles from the Jeep, tossing them to the ground.

“All clear?” Millie asked, coming around the corner of the house with Jaden in tow.

“Clear,” Mila answered, skipping down the steps to help unload the Jeep.

I followed, aiming to help but, Millie, stopped me hesitantly. “Are you alright? You've been quiet since yesterday.”

“I'm fine,” I smiled convincingly, I knew she didn't buy it.

My smile faded as I turned, bending down to toss my duffle over my shoulders. I walked into the wooden house, there were less rooms in this house. There was one large on and two back rooms, the bathroom was small and cramped. I chose the second room, rather being alone in case I had a returning memory. I took some clothes out, laying out the blanket on the floor and making my bed.

Thirty minutes later, no one had claimed the room with me. Maybe they thought I should be alone or maybe they thought they were the problem. I did want to be alone but didn't want to feel alone. I zipped my duffle bag back up, walking towards the front room. Mila and Jay were sharing the third room, the front room had Jaden, Millie, and Constantine in it. I knew, Constantine, liked having a room to himself. I felt guilty about taking over a room, maybe I should have been more talkative, more open.

I walked down the porch steps, Jay nodded to me as he walked past me into the house. I gave slight smile, clasping my hands together. I heard footsteps coming up behind me, I turned to see, Jaden, walking towards me. I wasn't going to say anything but he grabbed me by my upper arm and dragged me with him towards the woods.