Wanderlust

“What are you doing?” I asked, trying to get out of his grasp.

“You're going to tell me what happened at the lake,” he told me in an abrasive tone. “The others my respect privacy boundaries, but I don't. Millie begged me to ask you about it so she wouldn't bother you.”

“Why you? You're the last person I'd want to tell any of this too,” I crossed my arms defensively, feeling uncomfortable.

“Because I don't make a big deal out of things and she does,” he turned a little, gesturing back to the house, “ but if you want that attention, be my guest.”

“I'm not telling you, it's personal.” I swallowed, feeling that if I told him, he'd think I was crazy.

“Yeah, I've grasped that.” He leaned against a large fir tree, “now talk.”

I stood quiet, letting my arms hug themselves. I didn't want to tell him, anyone but him. On the other hand, I didn't want the attention. I just wanted to tell someone so I could stop thinking about it all the time. He would judge me though, he'd say some comment to make me feel worse about it.

“You'll judge me,” I breathed, sitting down on a large root. “You won't believe me.”

He seemed to settle a little tighter against the tree, not making any move to leave. He didn't say any response, he just waited impatiently. I wasn't getting out of this, was I?

“Okay,” I caved. “You can't call me crazy, you'll listen and then leave me alone about it.”

“Fine by me,” he shrugged agreeably.

“Alright,” I clasped my hands together. “I was showing Millie, Jay, Mila how I can hold my breath underwater. But you already knew that,” I mumbled, trying to find a way to explain this carefully. “ I was fine for a little bit but I saw something out in the distance. I closed my eyes to try and shake it off but when I opened my eyes, the figure was closer and I realized it was a body. I panicked when I realized that the body was me. I was in front of me but it wasn't the me that's talking right now, it was the old me. I was convulsing and screaming, I remember that my veins were popping out all over me. I was scared so I shut my eyes but as soon as I did, I was on a table. I was in a dim room, there was a woman standing over me. A man, who I'd rather not say who, told her to up the charge. He told me I had to be filtered, conditioned. I was afraid, I was begging for them to stop. Someone shoved this rubber mouth piece into my mouth and then metal tongs were placed on my temples. The man told the woman to finish me. Right before I was taken out of the memory, I remember thinking that he had won but I don't know what that was exactly.”

He remained quiet for a minute, a passive look on his face. “Do you proof that this actually happened? Are you sure it wasn't the lake water?”

“I told you not question me,” I huffed, rising to my feet. I dusted the dirt off my pants. “I told you what's bothering me, own up to your end.”

“Who was the man?” He asked, ignoring my statement.

“You don't want to know,” I mumbled, knowing that if he knew it was, Kruger, he'd flip.

“No, you have to tell me that part. You tell me everything, remember?” He reminded me and I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

“You wouldn't take it well,” I told him honestly. “Trust me, it's better if you don't know.”

He snorted, “Well now I have to know.” He seemed actually interested in who it was, which surprised me greatly.

“The man, it was—I was afraid of him for the record, he was torturing me,” I backtracked so he didn't automatically assume that I was working with him or something. “It was, Kruger, he was tell the woman to filter me.”

“Kruger,” Jaden's tone deepened, a dark tone took over his face. “He was the one in the room with you?”

“Yes.”

“You know him?” He seemed outraged, angry. He wasn't thinking clearly.

“I don't know, maybe?” I stepped closer, “ I know though that I was afraid of him, I hated him.”

He let a dry laugh come out, replacing it with a roll of his eyes. “Of course you'd come from inside the borders.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, no clearly hearing him.

“You're from there, you were one of them. You were inside those walls, you did something to piss, Kruger, off and got kicked out.” He seemed like he had it all figured out, it was more complicated than that. I could feel it when I talked about the memory, there was more to it that just 'pissing him off''.

“Look, I don't want to read into it. I did what you asked, you can tell, Millie, or whoever all about it. Although, I would have been better off just telling her because you're making a big deal out of it.” I brushed past him, ready to get away and just go back to the house but he wasn't finished.

“Wait,” he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. “Do you have proof that he tortured you? How do I know you're not making this all up?”
“Why would I be making this up?” I hissed, pulling back my hair so he could see the scars.

He leaned in closer, parting my hair a little more so he could see. “You had electric therapy, that's why you don't have your memories.”

“You can't know that for sure,” I told him letting my hair fall back down around me. “Can I go now?”

He nodded stiffly, a didn't atmosphere surrounding him. He was curious, it was obvious. I knew as much as he did, I didn't know that my brain was fried to mush. I sighed heavily as I walked back up to the house, almost regretting telling him anything.

I saw Mila and Jay talking quietly on the porch, they didn't pay any attention me passing. I walked towards my room but saw, Millie, exiting Constantine's room. I stopped her quickly.

“If you wanted to know about my flashback, you could of just asked me,” I told her, feeling a little peeved.

“What?” She asked, not making the connection.

“The memory, you could of just asked me instead of sending you brother to interrogate me,” I gestured wildly, but she just raised her eyebrows in confusion.

“Dahlia,” she paused, laughing a little, “I never asked, Jaden, to go talk to you about your memories.”

“He said that you wanted to give me privacy but he didn't respect the boundaries so you asked him to ask me about it because he wouldn't ask questions,” I relayed to her but felt a pit forming in my stomach.

She shook her head, “I didn't ask him to do anything, I swear to it. If anything, I was waiting for you to come to me about it but it looks like my brother was to curious to wait.”

My mouth dropped, “Asshole.”

“Sorry,” she patted my shoulder. “At least you two bonded.” Her tone was mocking as she walked past me but I didn't find it funny.

He had invaded personal information by lying to me. I wasn't ready to talk about it because I still hadn't felt like I understood it. I only talked because I thought it was on, Millie's, request. I stormed out of the house, stomping back to where I had left, Jaden. I was mad, I had the right to be mad. The leaves crunched under my feet as I saw him coming out from the trees. I took long strides up to him, not pausing as I shoved him roughly. It was almost pathetic how little he moved.

“What the hell?” He stepped back from my peeved stance.

“You lied to me!” I accused, throwing a finger at him.

“I lied?” He asked, playing confused.

“I went to, Millie, I asked her why she send you to interrogate me and she had no idea what I was talking about. You lied,” I hissed.

He pursed his lips, “I did.”

I was thrown for a loop, I hadn't expected him to admit to it. “You had no right, no right at all to do that! That memory has been plaguing me for days, I was vulnerable and you used that.”

“I was suspicious, I didn't know if you were silently going insane. Everyone wouldn't shut up about it, none of them had the balls to go and ask you about it so yeah, I took advantage of it. Sue me.” He waited for me to retort, to do something but I felt the anger filter from me, leaving me with a numb mellowing feeling.

“If something, anything like that happens again. I'm leaving,” I promised to him calmly.

“Don't be so dramatic, you were going to tell someone eventually,” he rolled his eyes. I wasn't about to made the bad guy here.

“I'm not being dramatic,” I snapped to him, “I'm pissed and rightfully so! I can barely trust myself and I thought I could trust everyone here. If I can't trust that I'm accepted here, that I'm understood, then I'll leave and don't test me because I will do it.”

He didn't give me a response and I whipped back around and stalked back to the house, Jay and Mila now paying attention to me as I passed. “Dahlia?”

I stopped and backed back out of the front door, “What?”

“Is everything alright?” Jay asked, sharing a concerned look with, Mila.

“No, everything is not alright.”