Sequel: Rendering Flames
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Wanderlust

Twenty Three

As it turns out, Millie and Mila were the ones that had tipped Allan off about Jaden. It wasn't on purpose of course but they were gossiping and Jaden was standing off in the distance somewhere. They remember Allan being around them, they hadn't know that he had heard them. It's safe to say that Jaden is disappointed that they would talk about that in the open. After a few days, we're figuring Allan hadn't told anyone about Jaden's secret and everything was well. Everything was well for everyone, except for me.

For the last few nights, I've been lying awake. For the nights previous to those, different types of nightmares had made their appearance. I had a hard time finding the truth in them, if they were memories. They had to be but part of me knew they had to be a personal entity. Some skeletons were starting to fall from the closet in the corner of my subconscious and because of it, I had to returned to the resourcefulness of being quiet and reserved. In that place, I was able to think about it obsessively almost. It was strange, just a few days ago I was smiling, I was laughing. Today, I was staring off into the same stop until my eyes started to burn.

I've had everyone come up to me, asking if I was alright. “What are you so quiet lately?” They'd ask and I would just say I was fine, I was okay.

Marcus had tried to crack my trance but I couldn't tell him what that trance was, I didn't want him telling me more about my life that I didn't already know. I didn't want my nightmares to get ideas. I had stayed in the garden, stayed around Hannah because she didn't ask questions. Eventually though, I'd have to go back and go to my bed. I would shower, getting all the dirt off me and not bother to dry my hair even a little bit. I would curl under my covers and I could feel everyone's thoughts centered around me.

Tonight was no different. I was in bed, my eyes closed and sleep was a tangible presence. I went to sleep with no fear but my nightmares played again, each night getting more detailed; harder to want to remember.

Evanna! What did I tell you about being around that cousin of yours!” My Father would yell at me, he had caught me hanging around Marcus again. There was a strange void of regret in me.

“He's family, Father! He is to be treated as such!” I knew I would rather be slapped around a little than not stand up for the only person who understood me. This fight had been happening almost constantly for the last week.

My Father would hit me, he would spit words at me that would make my insides sting worse than the bruise forming on my cheek. I wonder what the excuse would be this time.

“Evanna, fell off her horse while riding the other day.”

“Evanna, ran into a door.”

Or maybe the truth.

“Evanna, ran into the back of my hand last night.”

He would never though, my Mother would either. My Mother was afraid, she had been at the wrong end of my father's hand before.

“Evanna, please, just listen to you Father!” My Mother told me as she lead in close to my burning cheek.

“I can't let him talk about, Marcus, like that.” I would always see a flicker of disappointment in my Mother's eyes when I told her that.

“He is an abomination to the family name! He has tarnish it! We're lucky if Kruger doesn't come after the whole family,” my Father hissed to me.

“Let him.” My fear was at its threshold. He would either come after all of us or just one of us and I knew that one would be me.

“Evanna, we will give you one choice and one choice only. Let your cousin go, let the enforcements deal with him. Stop defending him, he is the enemy now.” My Father would plant more lies in my head than, Kruger. I didn't buy in for a second.

“You are so blind! You're more the enemy than him, sniffing out Kruger's ass so can kiss it like a good follower! I will not yield for him anymore!” My words spewed hate but my nerves shook with fear as my Father slammed me into the wall.

His hand wrapped around my neck tightly, my breath shorting out. His eyes were red with anger, his neck purple with his blood rising. My Mother lingered back, her silent pleads for my Father to stop drowned out in the tense atmosphere. My Father had a gold handle on the cane he walked with, it was more of an accessory than a actual use. The knob of the hand was train threateningly above my head, his hand wavering.

“Do it,” I choked out. “I will never be like you.”

His grip let my neck loose and I inhaled a sharp breath, leaning into the wall as my Father straightened out his pin stripped coat. His eyes were still red with anger as my Mother came to my aid.

“Don't help her, Tabitha.” My Father's snap made my Mother recoil back behind him and I stood on my two legs with a shaky premonition. “Abandon your cousin, turn him over to the enforcements or be disowned.”

My heart thudded heavily. I didn't want to be his daughter anymore but I was privileged, I was weak on my own. Without their protection, I wouldn't make it. It would scare me for years but turning on your own family was a strong objection of mine and I made my decision quickly.

“I'll see myself out.” I walked past my parents, my Mother sobbing behind me as her footsteps followed. She turned me around, her nails digging into my shoulders.

“Think about what you're doing, Evanna. He'll kill you when he all of this out.” Her tears flowed from her eyes without yield and I knew that unlike my Father, she loved me unconditionally and unwavering.

“I'm sorry, Mama.” I kissed her cheek and slid her hands of me, turning to walk out the door.


I woke in a pool of my own sweat again, the nightmare more detailed than before. I could see the hazel flecks in my Mother's eyes this time and the veins popping from my Father's neck. I sat up, swinging my legs around the bed as I let my head fall into my hands heavily.

“You need to talk soon, everybody is worried about you.” Constantine strolled from the hallway. I hadn't heard him come in. In fact, I hadn't woken when everyone had left.

“I'm alright, Constantine. It's just some nightmares.” I smiled weakly at him but his frown deepened.

“Sweetheart, your eyes are swollen.” I wiped around my eyes, my wet eyelashes brushing against my fingers.

“I'll talk to, Marcus.” I was lying, I wasn't ready to talk yet. I wanted to figure this out more, I wanted to dive deeper into this. I would do it even if it made me an insomniac.

“If you're going to lie, at least make it convincing.” He knew, I knew I couldn't lie to him. He was like my, Mother. He knew when I was lying ever since I had met him.

“I'm just not ready to talk about it, Constantine.” I was honest with him this time.

“I'll respect that when you aren't crying in your sleep anymore.” He left the room, a bandanna tied around his ever growing hair.

I knew he was right. Part of me having the reoccurring nightmares is because I'm not talking about them. So I worry about them and then when I worry about them, they root into my subconscious even more permanently. But how do I casually bring up that I was beaten by my Father daily? I didn't have see his worse side in the nightmare, I just knew that it was worse than that. Does, Marcus, know about this? I wonder how much he is keeping from me.

I got up off the bed, pulling my hair back as I quickly changed into something different. I headed out, starting towards new crop that had to be harvested today. I knew Hannah would have me peeling potatoes today though, it was a thing she hated that she was vocal about.

I wandered up, sure enough, being sat down with a small peeling knife in my hand and a whole barrel of potatoes to be peeled. I sat on a stool, forcing my mind to keep off the nightmare and the revelations. My mind was focused on not cutting myself as I let the skin of the potatoes fall to my feet.

I saw four pairs of feet appear in front of my own, and I looked up to see Mila and Millie huddled next to each other as Mila cautioned Millie in front of her. They looked nervous and I glared, feeling like they thought I was going to snap on them. I would if they kept acting like I was going insane or kept asking me how I was.

“I know you don't want to talk about it but, Constantine, said that you were upset this morning.” Millie's voice was more hush than usual.

“I wasn't upset,” I corrected her, going back to peeling the potatoes.

“Well, he said that you had told him that you wouldn't talk about it and we really think you should.” Mila spoke up, stepping around Millie.

“Don't you two have somewhere else to be? Go visit, Jay, or Jaden.” I waved them off, really not wanting to talk about it.

“We just saw Jay and Jaden is still mad at us for talking about the..thing. It was really stupid of us but you know how he is. It's best if we just let him be for now.” Millie told me and I stopped working once again.

“So you'll let, Jaden, alone because he's upset at you and doesn't feel like talking to you for who knows how many times now but you won't let me alone the one time I request it?” I let my irritation show.

“We're not worried about, Jaden. He's always mad at something.” Millie defended, looking to, Mila.

“It's just, Dahlia, you're obviously going through something. We just want to help.” Her words were sincere but I didn't need them right now.

“If you want to help, stop being a bother about it. I really just want to be left alone about it, thanks.” I tossed the peeler to the ground, hauling the sac of peeled potatoes of my shoulder as I walked off to the large makeshift kitchen area.

I didn't hear Millie or Mila following behind me, and I felt a little bad for being annoyed with them. I just wasn't ready to share yet another part of my life I haven't understood yet. I would rather let the nightmares fizzle out than go off and talk about them because I knew this wasn't the last of them. It was only the beginning.
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Here's an update, that I'm actually pretty happy with. It isn't my favorite chapter but character wise, I like it. We'll start to get a peek into Dahlia's mind a little more and she'll start remember things. I was going to go and develop something else but that'll happen when it happens, just not yet.

Anyways, I got a new subscriber! So now I'm up to 40! Which is awesome on its own but I dunno. There weren't any comments last time around and I would like just one at least. I'm always appreciative though, I would just like a little more lovin'.

Drop a Comment! Don't be Silent!

I'll update soon..(My birthday is Monday, yay for turning 20! So I'll probably update once more before then maybe. If not, it'll be sometime after Monday because I also start school that day..boo)

Avec l'amour

-Mel