Sequel: Rendering Flames
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Wanderlust

Thirty Six

“You don’t remember what could have brought it on?” Rosa asked, writing down what I said through the two hours I had been here, stuck against my will.

“No,” I told her for the umpteenth time. “My day was pretty fine before then. I’ve been taking those herbal things before I go to bed and I haven’t had any impressionable nightmares.”

“Mila has told me everyone has been under a considerable amount of stress since your group’s departure. Would that have anything to do with that?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. I’m sure the stress was the cause of this mess but that was unlike anything I had experienced, that was different.
“Well, Dahlia you’ll need to be honest with everyone about this if you want to keep healthy. Talk about your memories, share something with someone.”

“Okay,” I lied. “I can do that.”

“And if I ask say, Millie or Mila about anything you would have told them they’d have something to share?”

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, lying through my teeth. “I don’t see why they wouldn’t.”

“Good,” Rosa smiled warmly. “I’ll leave you to rest, I want you in here over night to observe you.”

“Meaning, to sedate me if I have another mental breakdown?”

“Oh, you can put yourself out if you do.” Rosa teased, pulling the curtain forward to give me some privacy.

I looked down and saw my arm wrapped up, some small scratches covering my fingers and I could feel a stingy jab when I touched around on my neck. I probably scratched myself in the struggle, which I don’t remember. I just remember the pain and the feeling of being contained in something that wouldn’t allow me to breath. I remember Millie trying to calm me down in all her panic. I just remember mainly the feeling of dread, like I was finally ready to give up. Was this house it was going to be from now on?

“Knock, knock.” I looked up and saw Mila lingering by the other side of the curtain. “I waited until Rosa left, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“That’s alright,” I put on a smile. “What brings you around here?”

She looked at me quizzically, “Are you being serious, I can’t tell.”

“No,” I looked down to my hands. “Surprised you came by.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Mila sat down at the end of my bed, pulling a leg up under her.

“I dunno, I feel like a basket case. Maybe you guys shouldn’t be around me, I’m bad air right now. You two don’t need any more stress.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re going to support each other no matter what. Including your ment—problems,” she covered quickly.

“It’s okay, I am mental.”

“No you’re not! You’re just, a little checked out at times. Everyone has those moments.” She was trying hard to make me feel better.

“So you pass out in a crazed state too? Begging to be killed?”

“All the time,” she joked lightly. “We don’t thinking any differently of you, it’s not our job to judge you or hold anything against you.”

“Tell that to, Millie. She seemed pretty dead set on reminding me about all of my problems.”

“She’s just upset and stressed. She’s really worried about you, she was to afraid to come and visit. She thinks you’re mad at her.”

I sighed, “I’m not mad at her. I mean I was but none of that matters now. Tell her to quit being dramatic and visit me, yeah?”

“I can do that,” Mila reached for my hand, squeezing it lightly.

I was left alone for a few more hours after she left. Millie never came to visit me until very late that night when I had managed to fall asleep. She looked guilty and tired, like she had been thinking about what to say for a while. She shook me awake, a sheepish smile on her face.

“Hi.” Her voice was quiet among the other sleep patients and people that occupied the room.

“Hi,” I grumbled, waking up.

“Sorry I’m coming so late, I didn’t know what to say.” She crossed her arms tightly in front of her.

“You could have waited until tomorrow when I’m released,” I offered but she looked a little offended, like I didn’t want her here. “But now is fine.”

She relaxed a little and sat down in the chair next to my bed. “Are you okay now?”

“I suppose. I feel fine.” I was being honest.

She looked down at her feet and I could feel the apologize bubbling up to the surface. I waited. “You know I didn’t mean any of those things I said, right? I’m just messed up right now and you were just trying to help and I feel so incredibly guilty because I only stressed you more. I feel like this is my fault.”

“Millie, stop. It’s not your fault, I don’t know when these things are going to happen. I’m not mad, you’re forgiven.”

“Really?” She asked surprised and I nodded. “Good, I feel better.”

I smiled weakly in the darkened room, feeling like I would say goodbye and see her tomorrow but then she settled into a new topic.

“Did you mean it?” She seemed apprehensive to ask whatever it was she was asking.

“Mean what?”

“Before you passed out, you told me to kill you and it looked like you meant it.”

I felt the atmosphere shift around us to a more depressing tone. “At the time, yeah, I meant it.”

“Why?” She scooted forward, curious and frightened. “Why would you want such a thing to happen to you?”

“At that time Millie, I couldn’t see rationally. I just wanted it to stop, death would have been a great escape.”

“Have you always felt like that?”

“No,” I assured her, knowing that she didn’t like what she was hearing. “Just that one time. I’ll know better next time, try to keep a clearer head.”

“Good because I can’t lose you. You’re too important, okay?” She was upset over the thought, I could see that it would bother her for a while.

“No dying, got it.” I promised her. “Let’s keep all this a secret though. I don’t want Marcus or Constantine, the others to know about this. They’ll feel guilty and worried.”

“They’d want to know though, especially Jaden.”

“Jaden can live without knowing. Besides, he won’t be concerned with my state when he gets back.” I could tell that going off on some makeshift war was the start of a reckoning for him, for Marcus as well. I knew this was important to them, the cause to save.

“You know that’s not true. I’m not stupid, Dahlia. I know he went back to you before they left. I know him better than anyone else, he really cares for you.”

“As nice as that sounds, it was a last minute thing. It was impulsive, just in case. That is what he told me, just in case he doesn’t make it back. If it were any other time or day or situation, he wouldn’t have done it.” I like the idea of Millie’s optimism coming back more than I did the idea of Jaden’s feelings at the moment.

“I promise you, when he comes back, he won’t stray from you. Just wait and see, he’s here for it, for you.”

“Are you sure you aren’t having hallucinations too?” I teased, a yawn slipping past my lips.

“Very funny,” she told me stonily. “I’ll let you sleep though, you’re tired.”

“I won’t deny it.” I nestled into my bed once more giving Millie a quiet goodbye as she left me to sleep a dreamless sleep.
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So my internet was briefly turned off and I couldn't do homework so I decided to write instead and get a chapter in while I can. Sorry it's mostly filler-ish stuff but it'll pick up again in a few chapters. I know the end is in sight, so I'll be starting on the sequel soon. This story is far from over, I don't even know how I'm going to completely shut the story down yet so trust me, it's not going anywhere.

I didn't like writing drama between Millie and Dahlia, it didn't feel like them but I'm trying to make them a little out of character to show that they're stressed and people act differently under stress. But no more fighting, I didn't like it.

Leave a comment! It would really make my day!

Don't be shy, I thrive off of them knowing that this story interests people. Let me know your thoughts too, what should I be doing differently or what am I doing right. DON'T BE SHY.

Until next time lovlies.

Avec l'amour

-Mel