I Don't Want to Ever Lose My Best Friend

I stared across the classroom just watching him. His plump tan-pink lips moving, quickly forming words that get carried out by his sweet melodic voice. The corners lift up into a small smile and I swear my stomach flipped. My eyes travel up to his perfect little nose in all of its buttony glory. The shining piece of silver hugging his nostril honestly take away my breath for a moment, leaving me half dazed. I move up further to his big brown eyes. Those eyes that shine even in the dark, despite their almost blackness. The life dances behind them, doing a small tango with sadness and...love. Those gorgeous enchanting eyes that won't meet mine. I stare at them longer, attempting to suck in the childish enthusiasm his contain. I eventually move on, admiring his hair and how perfectly it sits on his head in it's naturally curly state. He runs a hand through it and then I watch it fly back as he laughs. I strain my ears to hear even a tinkling of that sound. I feel my smile falter once more as his love interest comes into view. Jaime. He leans foward and gives my Vic a hug, giggling into my Vic's neck. I stare at the happy almost couple and let the memory of razors dragging on my skin climb into my mind. It was the only pain, after all, that could match this. That's when those eyes meet mine, only for a cold numb second. The minute the looked away again I felt the tears burning my eyes. He'd always compared them to the ocean, which is ironic since he's turning them into one. I look down at the desk quickly and bite my lip to distract myself.
"Hey, Kellin, you okay?" My friend Jesse asks, leaning in towards me. I feel his breath against me but don't answer.
"Kellin?" He pushes, wrapping an arm around me. I don't answer this time, just lean into him and let a single wave crash. 
"Fag boy!" Someone yells at me, making almost everyone laugh. Jesse mutters something under his breathe and starts to stand up.
"C'mon, lets go into the hall." He suggests, pulling me, willingly, with him. We walk into the deserted halls and I slump against the wall, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. Jesse sits beside me silently, just studying me and waiting til I talk. 
"I think they're dating," I start, squeezeing my thigh to keep myself calm. I hated the idea of someone else with my Vic. I know we never have been and never will be a couple, but I still wanted to keep him to me. 
"I don't think so." Jesse answers, shaking his head. I turn and stare iat him. Jesse always has and always will be my best friend, the only person who seems to always be there for me. I knew I'd be okay to bear my soul to him and I also knew I needed to.
"Jesse, I think they're dating and hate me. They haven't spoken to me in two months and I'm dying inside. I love Vic, okay? I love him and have for two years and seeing them happy, it hurts. But maybe it's for the better cuz it seemed like when I was with Vic, he was only ever depressed. Now, at least he's smiling. But I honestly love him. I think. I don't know, I just want to die. What did I do? I've tried my hardest to always be there for him and care and now he refuses to acknowledge my existence! Why do I deserve this?" I rant, finishing softly. Another round of waves crashes, this time seeming like a tsunami washing over my face. I lean into Jesses shoulder and let myself cry for the first time in a while. He wraps his arm around me and just comforts me the best he can. 
"That's the catch, you don't deserve it. You really did do your best to make him happy but he gave up on being there, he found someone who would care but not as much as you, who'd let him get away with things. You tried your best and you loved him as best as you could. You're both a little broken and sometimes broken people hurt other broken people unintentionally. You really need to talk to him." Jesse imparts his wisdom upon me, a sympathetic look on his face. He pulls me closer to his side, letting me bury my face into him and soak his shirt. Jesse murmurs small comforts into my ear as in an attempt to calm me and get me to stop coughing so hard. My stomach begins to lurch as though trying to make me sick. I don't know why I'm letting him get to me so much, I can't believe I'm crying over him either. He's supposed to my best friend, maybe even my boyfriend, but here I am sitting in the halls crying over him. 
"Why don't we listen to a little bit of music?" Jesse suggests, pulling my iPod out of my pocket and giving us each an ear bud.
I manage to get my breathing under control while he pulls up my music. I watch him immediately pressing the Now Playing arrow then go, paying no attention to what the song was.
"Did you mean it when you said
I could never leave your bed?
Wake me up and let me know you're alive," Vic's raw voice sang to us. Jesse yanked the ear buds out of my ear and I felt my breathing hitch.
"No no no Kels, you were doing so well, don't start crying now," He begged, hugging me tighter. I felt my body shake but refused to let the tears fall. I was in school, I shouldn't cry infront of them.
"I'm doing a bit better, don't worry I'm oka-" I tried to assure him, only to be cutoff by the bell. 
"Dammit, I don't want to go to the next class!" I push myself up and give Jesse my hand.
"Wait, dude, this is last period before Study hall, so why don't we just go home?"Jesse suggests. I agree since I'd really rather not sit in study hall. 
Study hall was similar to Hell now. 
At the beginning of the year, when Jaime wasn't here and Vic was still my best friend, we were given the choice of where to go for study hall. Thankfully, Vic, Jesse, our friends Tony and Jack, and I all were in the same Study Hall period, so we decided to wait last minute and see who had the least students, then we chose them. Luckily the teacher was Mr. Sykes, who was undoubtedly the best teacher. He couldn't give a shit what we did as long as it wasn't illegal and we didn't get caught by someone else. Naturally, we all sat together to bullshit around and such. Since we usually sat in the same general area Mr. Sykes wrote it down as assigned seating so we still got to be with our friends while he was sick. Now during study hall Jaime and Vic normally sat in a different seating area than us, but this week they had been sitting with us since Mr. Sykes was on his honey moon and we had a sub. This week had been the hardest week of my school career, watching Jaime and Vic play around together, hold each other, touch each other, ignore me. There was even a day when Vic wore Jaime's sweatshirt. Trivial but it hurt.
We got off the ground and dusted ourselves off, watching people rush out of classrooms. Jesse went into the classroom, me going to follow right after him. As soon as I turned to go into the door, I felt my head smash against something.
"Shit!" The person infront of me snapped, backing up and holding their face. I glanced up to see Vic, an angry blush on his cheeks and his face contorted in anger. 
"Sorry," I whispered softly, quickly averting my eyes to the ground.
"It's okay. Can I get past?" He requested, shoving past without an answer. I looked around the classroom and was surprised that no one had left. Instead they all sat, mouth and eyes open wide as they stared at Mr. Merrick. I understood why though, the normally chill teacher was red in the face, screaming at Jaime.
"You do not, I mean do not, force another student into any sexual activities they don't wish to participate in. Is that clear?" He screamed so loud I could swear the classroom shook.
"What happened?" I asked the closest kid to me, some burnout named Danny who was actually pretty chill.
"Jaime was trying to persuade Vic into skipping next period and heading to Jaime's empty house to have fun. Vic kept refusing and Jaime kept pushing until he yelled at Vic for not saying yes. Then you walked in and yeah, you saw from there." Danny answered, staring a few moments longer before heading out. He and his friend Ben gave me a goodbye nod as they left the classroom.
"Hey, lets go," Jesse said to me, appearing behind me. I nodded and followed him out into the almost empty hallway, excluding the group of students waiting for Jaime's discipline to be over so they could go to study hall.
Jesse and I went out the normal route, walking through the empty art hall and towards the back doors. We were really the only people who knew that this way was unguarded, so as soon as I laid my eyes on the short silhouette by the window I knew it was Vic.
"Hey, Vic!" Jesse called out getting his attention. He turned his face towards us before falling onto the wall.
"Hey," He croaked out, his voice giving away his recent activities.
"You okay?" Jesse asks, offering him a tissue. I stand a bit behind him, shielding myself from Vic. It was a ridiculous notion but I couldn't care less. Vic looked up at us with puffy eyes, staring for a few seconds before breaking. Tears streamed down his face and silent sobs shook his entire body. Immediately I pushed around Jesse and got to the ground, wrapping my arms around him. I tucked him against my chest like Jesse had done with me not so long ago and allowed him to soak my shirt as well. Jesse sat down and attempted to rub his leg soothingly.
"What's wrong?" I finally speak up.
"What's wrong? What isn't wrong? Kellin, I fucked up. I fucked up with Jaime and Jesse and Jack and Tony and everyone and especially you! I pushed everyone away when Jaime came and now I've upset him and I should be alone!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm terrible! I left all of you, you who'd never leave me, for Jaime. Some guy I barely knew but liked the look of. And the fact that he barely knew me. I let myself believe I only needed him but... But I didn't. I needed all of you." Vic hiccuped, pushing his face into my neck now. I looked over at Jesse, who wore a smile despite our crying friend.
"Vic, why would you want to push any of us away?" He asked him.
"I wanted to push you away because I knew I was hurting you. I could tell Jesse, you guys seemed to not want to hang out with me as much or anything and when I first started off with Jaime, you guys didn't seem to care. I didn't think it mattered.
"I thought Jaime would be there for me but he wasn't. Half the time he was ignoring me and the other half he was pressuring me. Sure, he is funny and can be nice, but he isn't what I want. But I didn't think you guys cared so I thought I was stuck with only him as a friend. I'm so sorry I left you guys," Vic cried to us. 
"Shh, Vic, it's okay I swear. Come here, and don't forget we'll always care." I promised him, pulling he and Jesse in for a hug. We stayed together for a few seconds before Jesse pulled away. Vic continued to cling to my shirt for a few more seconds. He sat up after realizing what he was doing and looked around a bit, sighing then speaking.
"Jesse, can I talk to Kellin alone?" He asked Jesse who merely nodded and headed outside.
"What's up Vic?" Vic looked at me, an obvious war raging in his mind. 
"What ever it is, you can tell me," I assured him, trying to get him to just say whatever it was. He stared a bit longer before just nodding.
"Okay, well I'm gonna tell you something but you have to promise not to leave me cuz of it." He requested.
"I'll never leave you," I promised in return.
"Okay then. See here's the thing. When I got with Jaime, it wasn't just because I felt unwanted. I mean, that was some of it but not all. I know you care about me and I know you wanted me around, but I couldn't be around you for my safety," 
"Why?" I pushed, excited because a certain idea popped into my head. Maybe I've been reading to many books and such, but I think this might work out in my favor.
"Because well... I like you and I didn't want you to find out. I didn't want you to leave me but I knew you would. You want to now don't you?!" He asked passionately, fearful tears swelling into his eyes.
"No, never remember? Vic you idiot, I love you too. I have for a while and when you left for Jaime, I can't even explain how upset I was. I thought you hated me!"
"Hate you? I don't even think that's possible," He chuckled through his tears,"So wait, you love me as a friend or.... Or something more?" 
"I love you as something more," I smile. 
"I love you as something more too," He grins back. 
After a millisecond he launches himself at me, pressing our lips together. His soft tan ones are perfect for mine, like a puzzle piece as cheesy as that is. We work our lips against each other, amazing me with how soft his are and how sweet he tastes. I never want to let him go.
A sharp rap on the window, followed by "Come on, we should go," pulls us apart quickly. We look and see Jesse at the doors, smirking and holding a hand out to us each. We both pull up at the same time, use Jesse as a way to steady ourselves.
"Well boys, I think it's time to finish off this overly emotional day right. Video games. But first, one question, are you two dating?"
Vic looks at me, a look of curiosity on his face. We just stared talking again so maybe it was to soon, but I didn't care. The way he kissed me and the hopeful look on his face told me we were. Still, I decided I should I ask. 
"Victor Fuentes," I begin, taking his hand in mine and wrapping my arm around his torso.
"I know we only stared talking again like 5 minutes ago but I still feel like this is definitely what I want. So, I was wondering, will you be my boyfriend?" The small Mexican nods, grabbing my neck and kissing me a bit harder than before.
"Yes, yes I'd love to!" He practically sang. Jesse chuckled before us, a small "awh" slipping out as well.
"So, now that that's settled, you two ready to go?"
"Yup," we answered in sync. I took his hand in mine, leading him out the door, then wrapped my arm around his waist. I glanced at him, pressing my lips to his forehead and doing a happy dance in my head. Two hours ago, I didn't even think we'd ever talk again. Now we're dating. Fate at its finest, I do believe.