Back for You

I managed to lose him after turning a few corners and running down a few alley’s. He was quick I could give him that. I made my way through the backyard at around 9 o’clock when I hoped they would be gone. No such luck. When I came in everyone was sitting around the kitchen talking with a drink their hands. I sighed, slid open the back door and walked in quietly. I walked over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed the bottle of Fireball Whiskey. I felt everyone looking at me, Niall’s stare especially heavy, as I unscrewed the top and took a swig.

"Jesus, did you really just take a swig from the bottle, you alcoholic?" Greg asked laughing. I tried not to laugh but I couldn't help it. Niall on the other hand, did not laugh. But if they were going to drink, so was I. I was just going to get drunk enough to maybe forget that I hate Niall. I looked at Niall, then took another swig, not breaking our gaze. He looked a lot unhappy with me. He's always hated me drinking because of my families history with alcoholism. I wasn't an alcoholic or anything, he was just always afraid that I was going to become one. Which I may one day but I did spend my high school years in Ireland.

Niall came up to me after everyone continued their conversations with each other. Jenna glanced at us curiously for a second but didn't say anything. "Should you really be drinking that?" He asked. I didn't look at him as I took another swig. I could feel a slight buzz coming on. a couple swigs and a cigarette I'll be getting started.

"Should you really be up my ass?" I asked, not looking at him. He sighed and reached for the bottle, which I quickly pulled away and raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"

"Cas, slow down on that bottle, would you?" Jenna asked, I nodded and set it down, not saying anything. I grabbed my cigarettes and walked out the back door silently. I could hear Niall's heavy footsteps following behind me. I pulled a cigarette from the carton and grabbed for my lighter.

"When did you start smoking?" Niall asked after he closed the door behind him. I sighed and lit the cigarette in my mouth. I took a drag, blew out the smoke and then answered him.

"When you decided to cheat on me that first time."

He didn't say anything at first. I took another drag, inhaling all the things that may eventually kill me one day if i ever start chain smoking.

"But we were still together after the first time. You just decided not to tell me?" He asked. He was standing behind me, which I was glad of. I haven't talked about this in a long time and the tears couldn't help themselves.

"Nope," I answered. "I'm a social smoker not a chain smoker so it wasn't really that hard to hide it from you. I guess that's one of our differences. I can hide things and you can't," I said. That may have been a bitchy comment but really, he deserved it. He deserved to be hurt.

"Are you going to hate me forever for making mistakes, Cassie? Because if you hold grudges against everyone like you hold them against me, you're going to bitter and alone your whole life," He said. I turned around and looked at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Really? You're incredible, Niall. You cheated on me. Multiple times. I'm not stupid. I know "Rachel"," I said, using air quotes,"wasn't the only girl you cheated on me with. Sure, she may have been the one you actually cared about but Jesus Christ Niall I'm not an idiot. So I have every right in this whole god damn world to hate you! You broke me! I was so in love with you that even after I found out about Rachel I couldn't leave! The one who's going to die bitter and alone is you because even when you have something good in your life, you ruin it! I'm waiting for you to ruin your little career and all the guys leave you just like everyone else will because you're a bad person, Niall! You only care about yourself!"

I had started crying and my throat felt like it was closing up. I dropped my cigarette that had gone out and ran inside.

"Cas?" Tom called out as I ran past everyone and up the stairs to my room. I felt a little bad for saying the things I did to him, but I do believe that he's a bad person. He's very selfish and I hate him every day for what happened.

The next morning was a bit strange when I came down for breakfast. Barnibus came running up to me quickly, jumping all over me like he hadn't seen me in 3 years, which isn't normal I guess because he usually sleeps with me. Jenna had waffles sitting on the counter for me and Tom had left for work. Jenna looked at me with concern as I walked into the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I grabbed my waffled and sat down at the table, shrugging.

"I just yelled at him a lot last night for being an asshole," I said, cutting a piece of my waffle off and putting it into my mouth. She asked what I told him and I told her exactly what I told him. It was burned into my brain. It was something I had been waiting for forever to tell him.

"Damn, you go girl," She said, grabbing a piece of my waffle and putting it in her mouth. We finished breakfast talking about Greg and Denise's wedding, and what we were going to do with our hair. Jenna also told me about Niall talking about their movie the boys are filming.

"You know, I'm happy that his dream came true, but like I told him, he's going to ruin it," I said. Jenna sighed.

"Maybe not," She said. She patted my head and took my plate. "Work today?"

I thought for a second then groaned. "Yes," I mumbled, getting up and going upstairs to start getting ready for today.

I came back downstairs, ready for work at the music store down the road. Jenna said goodbye, and I started the short, 10 minute walk down the road. When I got there, I wasn't surprised to see Niall there. There wasn't much to do in Mullingar so it was either go to the music store, shop, play golf, or play football really. I kept my head down as I walked in, hoping he wouldn't see me, but with my luck he looked up from the CD he was looking at and called out my name. I sighed and looked at him, wanting to reach for a cigarette.

"Cas, I'm sorry," He said. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Maybe another day, Nando's boy."