Obsessed With the Thought of You

“What’s the matter poppet?” I hear Matt say as I pull my hands away from my face to see him and George walk past me holding a box. “Not gettin’ your way again so you’re havin’ another tantrum?”

They chuckle to themselves as they walk up some stairs and I glare at them. I look down and realise I’m still only wearing my nightgown and dressing robe. I bite my bottom lip and begin to feel self-conscious as I hear all the men around me.

“Just ignore those two,” Jorel says popping up by my side. “They don’t know how to talk to ladies.”

“And you do?” I raise an eyebrow.
“I’ve never stepped outta line, have I princess?” He asks.

I choose not to answer since he’s right and I really don’t have any reason to call him rude. He smiles at my loss of words and looks around at his crew working.

“Wanna be shown around?” He asks looking back at me.
“I told you earlier I don’t need to know my way around,” I reply stubbornly.

“You’re gonna be here for at least three weeks unless you jump ship,” he tells me. “We’re not due to reach land until then so that’s a long time for you to be getting lost on a regular basis.”

“I’d rather have you show me to my clothes so I could get back some dignity and modesty but that would require getting very wet as all my belongings are at the bottom of the wretched sea!” I snap.

“I’m sorry about your stuff, I truly am,” he tells me sincerely. “We do have a lot of girl clothes on board though. Knucks has tons and then there’s all the stuff we’ve got her that she didn’t want.”

“Oh, cast-offs? Thanks,” I reply knowing full-well I’m being ungrateful but right now I want to punish him for ruining and taking away my home, not to mention murdering a lot of my friends and crewmen.

I know that I won’t get very far trying to scratch at his face or choke him because his men would stop me. So bitchy comments and passive-aggressiveness is all I have. With this in mind, I plan to spend the next three weeks irritating him as much as possible so he won’t want us here anymore.

“Well I’m afraid that’s all there is,” he responds patiently. “Come on,” he smiles and steers me to a room on the next floor down from the top deck.

We reach a room and he stops in front of it turning to face me. “This is Knucks’ room so you wait here. I’d need to ask her permission to bring someone else in.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply and goes in closing the door behind me. I furrow my eyebrows in surprise that he seems to have manners and consideration. I look at the floor frowning in confusion still as I wonder how he and his reputation can come across so awful if he is really as thoughtful as he seems.

A few minutes later he emerges with a box in his hands. He kicks her door shut and stars walking again. He nods his head gesturing for me to follow him so I do. We reach another room and he balances the box as he grabs the doorknob.

He holds the door open with his foot and looks at me. “Ladies first,” he says and I enter the room mumbling a ‘thank you’.

When I walk in I see a bed that’s made up and a small table with a mirror on top and a stool to it making it a dressing table. I see a moderately sized wardrobe, a window and a bedside table.

Jorel places the box on the stool and opens it out. He starts rummaging through it and pulling out dresses that he carefully lays across the bed. It looks as though he is looking for something so I take a step closer to him and look around him to see into the box.

He stops and holds up a dress, glancing it over before look back at me. “This was my favourite, I didn’t understand why Knucks didn’t want it, I think she said something about having too many that looked like it,” he tells me.

I look at it and my mouth opens slightly as I gape at the beautiful lace and careful stitching. “It’s stunning,” I breathe.

“Like you,” he says nonchalantly making me snap my gaze up at him to see him not even looking at my face as he holds it up against me. “You’re a little short but I don’t think it’ll drag on the floor. You might just pull it off.”

I look down at it pressed against me and run a hand down the smooth material. “I love it,” I tell him.

“Then it’s yours,” he relies letting me take it from his fingers. “And so is this room.”
I look up at him questionably before looking around. “My room?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “You gotta sleep somewhere princess and when I suggested you come to my cabin last night at the bar you didn’t seem entirely enthralled by the idea.”

“Well that wouldn’t have been appropriate,” I mumble as I look at the dress again.

“In your opinion,” he murmurs back as he runs his fingers over the lace material. “I’ll leave you to look through these clothes and get acquainted with your room. If you need me or anything else, just ask any of the crew, they should be able to help you.”

I nod as I look up at him and he keeps his gaze on me for a moment longer. “Thank you,” I say with an awkward look. “I know I’m difficult and you don’t have to be half as nice as you are to me right now.”

“I understand what you’re going through,” he says and looks off to the side. “I get why you hate me. I did ruin your home-“ he trails off.

“And kill most of my friends,” I say sadly thinking of my crew.
“I’m sorry,” he tells me.

I look up and see sincerity on his face as he looks at me again. “I accept your apology but I won’t ever be able to forgive you,” I reply, not even knowing if he cares that I forgive him or not. But then he didn’t have to apologise at all so maybe he does care.

He nods and looks at the floor. “That’s fair enough. I just hope that at some point we can be friends.”

“Who knows,” I mumble more as I look off into space before shaking my head to focus. “Well I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah. Like I said, if you need anything-“ he trails off and I nod. “Bye.”
“Bye,” I reply and watch him shut the door gently behind him.

I spend a little while exploring the room. Finding little notes carved in the wooden walls and bits and bobs that have been left in drawers and the wardrobe. I then look out the window. I look to the sides to see what parts of the ship I can see from this spot.

I then get dressed and lay my own night clothes over the stool by the dressing table. After a while of daydreaming and generally being nosy in the small room, my door knocks. I open it to see Matt stood there looking bored.

“Skullcrack,” I greet in an emotionless voice.
“Bones,” he says similarly. “Supper is ready.”

“Oh,” I reply and stay stood there waiting for his next statement.
“You ready to go?” He asks and I nod.

He gestures for me to follow him so I step out and shut the door behind me. He takes me to a set of stairs and he steps aside letting me go first. I give him a questioning look before going ahead and thanking him.

“How do you like your room?” He asks sounding uncomfortable.
“Erm,” I look at him as we reach the top deck. “It’s fine,” I say not having much to say on the subject.

“Good,” he says looking as though he is searching for something to say.
“You don’t need to talk to me Skullcrack,” I tell him. “Silence is golden after all.”

“I’ve been ordered to be nice to you,” he mumbles angrily.
“What?” I look at him incredulously as we reach the captains lounge.

“Yeah,” is all he says in response as he opens the door and gestures for me to go first again.

I walk in to see George and Jordon sat down already. Matt sits down as the door opens again to reveal Ada and Jorel. Jorel nods towards the guys and they nod back, except Jordon. Jorel pulls out two chairs that are beside each other.

“Ladies,” he says and Ada thanks him as she sits down. “Take a seat princess,” he tells me with a smile and I gingerly do so mumbling a thank you.

“Dylan’s had a good afternoon,” Ada smiles at me. “He’s sleeping now but we left Hamish there in case he needs anything.”

“Hamish is funny, they’ll get on,” Jorel pipes up as he gets himself comfortable in his seat at the end of the table, next to me. “Thought we’d leave him with someone who could keep him entertained.”

“Very thoughtful,” I say looking at the table.
“Dylan’s not a child,” Jordon says rolling his eyes.

“Yeah but he’s called Disgruntled, implying he’s got a short fuse,” Ada says grabbing her cup. “I don’t wanna deal with a moody, bored dude,” she says before sipping her drink.

The door opens and the smell of food fills the air of the lounge again. I recognise Bellamy as one of the men bringing in the food. Plates get put on the table in front of everyone and I see meat, vegetables and potatoes on there.

They then bring in the rum and other alcohol. I frown hoping this won’t get rowdy as I watch George pour himself a generous cupful. I then watch Matt take it from him and do the same. It then gets passed to Jordon who takes a large cupful as well, I’m assuming to settle himself down from the rough day we’ve had.

I feel eyes on me and look to see Jorel watching me with no expression as he leans back in his chair. “What do you like to drink?” He asks me in a voice loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough to not draw too much attention to us.

“I don’t really drink alcohol,” I say and look down again.
“We got her wine once,” Jordon joins in. “She liked that, didn’t ya Bones?”

“Wine?” Ada says. “Don’t think I’ve really tried that. Whiskey’s good.”
“Yuck,” I grimace. “Maybe if it was diluted with something.”

“Pussy,” George laughs at me.
“Nah,” Ada speaks up. “She’s a lady,” she says and smiles at me.

I return it and look back at George. “I’m not used to hard booze.”
“Bet she ain’t used to a lot o’ hard things,” Matt snickers to George who laughs heartily.

“Boys!” Jorel scolds them and I blush deeply. “You fucking hush your mouths. What did I say to you?”

“Sorry,” they mutter and start to eat their food.
“She is a lady,” Jordon glares at them.

“And a fine one,” Jorel says admirably as he looks at Jordon. “When she isn’t pouting at least,” he breaks into a grin and looks at me.

“I don’t pout,” I defend. “I simply display dissatisfaction in a silent way.”
“Whilst sticking your bottom lip out,” Jordon says laughing for the first time today.

“I do not,” I say and he points at me.
“There! You’re pouting right now,” he says.

Ada leans forward to look at me. “Yeah Muffin that looks like pouting to me.”
I shake my head. “Whatever,” I say and a smile inevitably comes to my face.

“Ah-ha!” Jorel grins and points at me too. “She can smile.”
I look over at him and turn my expression stony again. “Jordon made me smile.”

“Well either way, I’m just glad that you did,” he tells me and then tucks into his dinner.

I look down at my food and stab my fork in it and see the meat feels tender. The food cooked on the Gallow’s Tears was always amazing. I take a bite and taste it’s seasoned beautifully. I start to realise how hungry I am, having been distracted all day.

Throughout the meal everyone has chattered, well mostly Jorel’s crew. Me and Jordon have been quiet and only really replying to one another. From what I gather they seem to be a pretty nice bunch, when they aren’t killing your friends. Ada seems to be feisty, sweet girl who’s up for a laugh.

George seems to have a bit of an ego but deep down is a nice guy. Matt seems to just like laughing and making rude jokes so I could see myself warming up to him even though he is pretty cheeky.

Jorel is a bit of an enigma so far. His reputation seems to either be totally wrong or only portray a certain part to his personality because nowhere have I heard about the gentler side that I’ve seen recently. The thoughtful and considerate side. In some weird way, it almost makes me want to get to know him better.

“So what do you do with your free time?” Ada asks me drawing my attention to her.
“She makes daisy chains when we reach land,” Jordon says.

“Do you ever let her answer a question dude?” Matt butts in and Jordon glares at him. “We get it you guys are close and you know shit about her. No wonder she’s all repressed and shit, she never gets to talk.”

“I’m not repressed,” I pipe up.
“Oh yeah?” Matt smirks.

“So you’re not the naive little girl you seem to be?” George asks raising an eyebrow.
“I’m sure there are ways she could surprise us,” Jorel says and they look at him.

“I don’t need to surprise anyone,” I say resentfully. “I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.”

“That’s right,” Ada says and points her fork, with food attached to it, at George and Matt. “Stop hassling her. It’s her first day.”

“Yes mom,” Matt leans forward making a face at her and she pokes her tongue at him. “So what do you do in your spare time?”

I shrug. “I’ll try anything once.”

George smirks and looks at Matt who does the same. George whispers something to Matt who chokes on his food laughing hysterically. I frown knowing they’re making fun of me and probably in a distasteful way. Insinuating things about my sex life no doubt.

“I don’t like repeating myself,” Jorel says with a hard expression as they look at him. “Stop acting like fucking whispering school girls and stop mocking her or you’ll be on watchout duty for two weeks.”

“Alright,” George sighs. “What sort of things do you mean?” He asks me going back to my statement. “Try what exactly?”

“Well I learned how to load the canons once,” I start and look at Jordon who smiles at me. “And I was taught how to steer the ship.”

“What’s the point?” Matt asks looking at me dumbly. “Like you’d ever be made to do that shit for real. Sounds like you just waste people’s time teaching you useless shit.”

“That’s fucking it!” Jorel roars. “You two get out of my fucking sight and Matthew you’re on watchout duty for a week starting tonight.”

“Oh man, what?” He moans.
“Leave!” Jorel shouts.

“Do I have to leave?” George asks. “He said it, not me.”
“Yes. You’re pissin’ me off too,” Jorel replies.

The men sigh and they heave their bodies up dropping their cutlery. “Way to go, dipshit,” George mumbles as he shoves Matt who walks in front of him.