Lay Your Guns Down, Let Me Die. Why Won't You Just Let Me Die?

"I'm so proud of what you have done CC."

I looked up to see myself looking at my demon. He had black hair, that was past his shoulders, brown eyes, pale flesh, his eyes showed evil, pure evil.

Decorated along his arms, were deep cuts, some fresh, some, a few weeks old.

The demon, is me.

"W-What do you mean?" I asked myself.

"What you have done. Committing suicide. it's for the best, probably one of the best things you've done in a while."

I looked down.

"Lets just hope you are dead and this isn't all a dream. Andy can do so much better than you. You know these?" I paused and pulled up my bracelets, showing my cuts. "It's probably for the best CC. Keep doing it. Its the only thing you can do and it's the only thing you're good at."

I carried on looking down, furiously blinking back tears.

"you're just a waste of space. No one will ever love you. Who'd love a fat, worthless person like you? No one, that's who." I sneered at myself.

"Stop!" I shouted.

"You're just a waste of space. No one will ever love or want you!'

"Stop! Just stop it!"

"You deserve each and everyone of these cuts, you worthless whore!"

I snapped my eyes open, my breathing rapidly as my heart monitor sped up. I was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

"Chuppy!" I heard a familiar deep voice, but I couldn't concentrate as a bunch of doctors and nurses came in.

"W-where am I? W-what's happening?" I asked the nurses frantically. I looked down at my wrists.

Stitches! No! This can't be! I'm suppose to be dead! Not alive!

Tears started gushing down my cheeks as I desperately clawed at my stitches, desperate to get them out.

A nurse grabbed a hold of my hand to stop, but I slapped it away. My hand was shaking, I was sweating, my heart race was speeding up as more tears fell down my cheeks.

"Stop! Let go off me! Get these stitches out off me! I'm suppose to be dead, not alive!" I shouted.

"Chuppy." I heard a soft whisper, sounded broken and cracked. I ignored it and carried on clawing at my stitching.

I managed to undo one and I watched my blood gush out of my wound. I smiled in satisfaction as I looked up at the doctors and nurses as they tried to calm me down, not noticing that I was bleeding, heavily.

I smiled and closed my eyes, ready to be talking to my demon again.

"He's bleeding! Can you not see! He's bleeding!"

No, what are you doing?!

"Sir, stand back, you shouldn't even be in this room!"

"He's my friend!" I opened my eyes to find myself looking into crystal blue eyes.

"C-Chuppy. It's okay. I-Im here!" He smiled as his eyes started to flood in tears.

"You should have let me died Andy!" I whispered. He looked at me, in disbelief. His eyes showed signs of heartbreak.

He got pushed away by a nurse.

"We're going to have to stitch him up again. He's loosing a lot of blood, if we don't act now, he could die!"

Andy gasped as he put his hand over his mouth. Tears started to flow down his cheeks as Ashley got up from the plastic chair he was sitting on, and pulled him into a hug.

The feeling of guilt started to creep up on me as the nurses asked everyone to leave.

I watched as Ashley carried a broken and sobbing Andy. Jinxx looked back at me, tears threatening to spill over his eyes, whereas Jake, just looked, angry.

He looked at me for a second and looked away in disgust.

Why did he do that? Does he hate me now? Does he not what to know me no more?

So many questions started to buzz about in my head as I kept picturing Jake's facial expression in my head. I was so caught up in my own thought, that I didn't realise the nurses have finished stitching me up.

A nurses went to the door and opened it.

"You can come back in now."

Within a second of her moving out of the way, Andy came rushing to my side.He grabbed a hold of my hand and looked down at me. I held his hand back weakly and looked up at him. His eyes were red and swollen. I feel, so guilty.

What have I done?!

"I-I'm so, so sorry A-Andy." I broke down in tears as the rest came in. They all stood around my bed, apart from Jake, who sat on the chair on the corner.

"I-It's okay Chuppy. I-It's going t-to be o-okay. I p-promise." He kisses my hand softly as he smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks.

I so desperately wanted to kiss them tears away.

"I didn't mean for it t-to get t-this far!" I looked at Ashley, then Jinxx, then Andy.

"Chuppy, we're here for you. I just wish you told us sooner." Jinxx said, softly.

"I-I wish I d-did." I sobbed.

"Hey, it'll be okay. You have us all by your side." Ash smiled.

I nodded as I looked at Andy.

"Y-your letter. Y-You said y-you love me. Is t-that true?" Andy asked as he wiped away the fallen tears with his free hand.

I nodded and looked away. Andy smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I think, I think I love you too." I looked back at Andy and smiled.

"Really? What about Juliet?"

"I'll sort her out later, baby. I just wanna be with you right now. You scared, not only me, but us all!"

"I'm sorry!" I whispered.

"Hey. It's okay. We're all here to help you baby, no matter what. I love you." My heart skipped a beat as he said them three magical words I've been dying to hear for a long time.

"Y-You do?" I asked him. He nodded and leaned down, ghosting his lips over mine. I swallowed and smiled.

"I always have." He whispered against my lips before pressing them together in a soft and gently kiss.

My stomach started to do backflips. My heartbeat stared to speed up as I moved my lips in time with Andy's. I felt, whole again. Andy's the missing piece of my jigsaw. He pulled away and stroked my cheek softly, whilst smiling.

"I love you, Andy."

"I love you too." He smiled as Ash cleared his throat.

"All this lovey smush is sweet and all, but I need a coffee. Anyone else want one?"

We all nodded.

"I'll be back soon, baby." Andy said as he let go off my hand. I nodded again as I watched them all leave.

All, apart from Jake.

He stood up and walked towards me. He leant down, so his lips were ghosting over my ear.

"What you've done, is disgusting." He whispered harshly.

He then got up and looked at my arms in disgust. I swallowed as I watched him leave.