Aiden

I can’t describe how I feel now…I don’t even know what I feel…

I don’t feel anything…I’m numb…

The voices decided to stay quiet today…leaving me in silence…deep silence…

Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…

The slow beating of my heart is the only thing breaking the silence…

Over the past two weeks, I’ve become Michael’s little play toy.
Over the past two weeks, I still haven’t seen Lucien…

I was lying in bed, hugging his jacket in my arms again…his scent was fading away…

Just like the memory of him…

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

What did I do wrong? Why did he stop visiting?
How did I survive so long without his smile…his eyes…his touch…?

His touch keeps getting replaced by Michael’s…

Does he really hate me? Does he really think I’m a psychopath?

Ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump.

My chest aches…I miss him…so much…

I love him…I love him…

Ding-dong!

I sat up quickly, hearing the sound of the doorbell.

I stood up and placed Lucien’s jacket on the bed, then I sluggishly made my way to the front door.

I didn’t bother to see who it was. Too late to care if I get raped or shot.
I opened the door and my eyes widened in shock.

Lucien was standing right before me, giving me a sad smile.

“Hi, Aiden…”

I didn’t think. I pulled him into a tight hug and cried. He reached up and petted my hair, softly and gently.

“I’m sorry, Aiden…I’m really sorry…”
I shook my head and hugged him a little tighter.

“O-ow…!”

I pulled away from him quickly.

“A-Are you okay…?”
He gave me a shocked look, but then he smiled again.

“You talked…you actually talked.”

I took another look at him, feeling my stomach drop.

His once bright green eyes were dull, just like mine…there was a purple blotch on his left cheek…a small cut on the right one…finger imprints on his neck…

Why didn’t I notice this before…?

“Is it okay if I come inside…?”
I nodded and moved out of his way so he could walk into the house.

“Oh…did I leave my jacket here by any chance?”
I nodded again and walked to my room to get it.

When I came back out, he was lying on the floor, motionless.
I ran over to him and held him in my arms, shaking him slightly.

“Lucien…? Lucien…?!”

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have come like this…I should have waited a little longer to get better…but…I was really worried about you…I’m sorry…”

“What happened…?”

He only shook his head.

I picked him up and carried him to my room, laying him down on my bed.
I took off his jacket and placed it on the door.

There was red bleeding though the sleeve of his teal sweater.

I hesitated but rolled up the sleeve, revealing a huge gash on his wrist.

He stirred a little.
“D-Don’t look…I-I’ll be back…”

I walked into the bathroom, grabbing some gauze, rubbing alcohol, some bandages, and some cotton balls, then ran back into the room.

I sat next to him on the edge of the bed and grabbed a piece of gauze, wrapping it around the cut on his wrist and added pressure to stop the bleeding.

He cried out in pain and tried to pull away from me.

“S-Stop, Lucien…! I have to add pressure to stop the bleeding…!”

Of course he froze when I mentioned blood.

I gently ran my other hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.
“It’s okay…just keep your eyes closed…you’re gonna be okay…”

I wrapped the bandage around his wrist to keep the gauze in place. I dabbed the cotton ball in some rubbing alcohol and gently wiped at the cut on his cheek.
I finished and threw the cotton ball into the trash, then I placed a small bandage on his cheek.

Lucien already passed out…

I couldn’t help but watch him…I couldn’t leave him…
I missed him so much…

He was so lively four weeks ago…now he’s pale and frail…like a ghost…

What the hell happened…?

‘His boyfriend did this to him…’

‘Abused him…and from the looks of it, fucked him as well…’

‘Poor Lucien was beaten and raped…?’

‘Yep…’

‘I’m not surprised. That Kyle guy is a douchebag.’

‘What do you plan to do about this, Aiden…?’

I tried to ignore them…
They were so quiet earlier…why are they talking now?

‘There’s only one thing to do…’

‘You don’t mean…!’

‘He’s done it before…’

‘You have to do it, Aiden…You have to kill Kyle.’

My stomach twisted into a knot. I shook my head over and over again.

Why would I do such a thing?!

‘Like I said earlier…you’ve done it before.’

I shook my head again.

Lying…you’re lying…!

‘Where are your girlfriend and brother, then?’

I froze.

No…I couldn’t have…I wouldn’t have…!

‘Think about it, Aiden...the cops won’t do anything, and Lucien wouldn’t confess to it. He’ll keep getting used and abused, but he’ll go crawling back to Kyle like the sad, desperate puppy he is. And even if Kyle does get arrested, he won’t spend that much time in jail, then he’ll have Lucien in his hands again.’

I bit down harshly on my lip.

‘Look at him…if he stays with Kyle any longer…he’ll probably die…’

I don’t want him to die…I don’t want him to die…
I love him…I love him so much…

‘You know what needs to be done, then…’

I was left alone in silence again.

Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…

If…if it saves him…

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

If he returns back to his normal self…if I can see him smile and laugh again…

Ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump.

I’ve made my decision.