Aiden

“Lucien…?”
“Hm?”

My head was resting in his lap while he ran his fingers through my hair.

I swallowed thickly and took in a quick breath.

“Have you ever been afraid that you can’t prevent something from happening…no matter how much you want to?”

“I think everyone is afraid of that, Aiden, but that’s life. There are always some things that we can’t prevent. Those things are usually out of our control, and we shouldn’t worry about them.”

He bent down and pressed his lips against mine. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

His warm body…his soft lips…his sweet scent…
The russet, shaggy brown hair…bright green eyes…the small amount of freckles that dot along his nose and cheeks…
His habits…his fears…

They’re all mine. Mine to keep and cherish for the rest of my life.

“I love you so much…”
“I love you too, Aiden.”

I closed my eyes and sighed in content as his fingers continued to entangle themselves into my hair.

‘Don’t get used to this.’

I bit down on my lip in frustration.

Shut up…for once, just shut up.

‘You’re so fucking naïve.’

“Oh! Aiden! You have your doctor’s appointment today!”

I groaned and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Don’t make me go…”
“You have to. It’s important.”
“Fine…”

I whined like a little kid as I literally rolled off of him.
I put on my Converse and tied them up before I pulled on my jacket, zipping it up and pulling the hood over my head.

I gave Lucien one more kiss before I walked out the door.

* * *

“Height: six feet, two inches. Weight: one-hundred and sixteen pounds. I’m proud of you, Aiden.”
She gave me a small smile as she continued performing my checkup.

“Everything seems to be fine, Aiden. You’ve made quite an improvement.”
She set her clipboard down and took off her glasses.

“So, who is she?”
She gave me a knowing look, causing me to blush.

“I…I-It’s a ‘he’…”
“Either way, you’re completely in love, aren’t you?”

I slowly nodded, bringing my gaze to the ground.

“Congratulations. You really deserve to be happy for once.”
She gave me a warm smile and patted my shoulder.

“You’re free to go. See you next month, Aiden.”

* * *

“Aiden…you still haven’t told me how your appointment went, today…”

I didn’t really find it important to tell Lucien. I was too busy pressing kisses all over his neck.

“It wasn’t really anything important. She just said that I was improving…”

I trailed kisses down his chest, causing him to arch his back.
He shivered under me as I continued to bite at his neck, sliding my hands down his sides.

I tried to pull his boxers down but he flinched.

“A-Aiden…I-I don’t think we should d-do this…”

I understand…
He was still scared.

‘You ready to start breaking your promise, Aiden?’

Before I could react, I lost control of my body.

I could only watch as poor Lucien squirmed and cried under me.
I slipped his boxers off and threw them to the side.

No! Stop! I don’t want to do this to him! I don’t want to force him!

But it was too late.

I was already inside him, and I wouldn’t stop.
He was screaming now, begging for me to stop, telling me how much it hurt.

I wouldn’t stop…I wouldn’t stop…

“No!!! Stop!!! I don’t want it anymore! It hurts! Stop it, Kyle—!”

Lucien caught himself quickly, but he still said it, and I was now back in control of my body.

It hit me, hard…my heart shattered and ached even more.
He called me the name of the monster that I saved him from…

I pulled out and started to cry, quickly moving away from him.

“I’m sorry…! I’m sorry…! I’m so sorry, Lucien…!”

“N-No…I’m sorry…! I shouldn’t have called you that! I don’t know what I was thinking! I was just so scared…!”

He wiped a couple of tears away.

“You’re nothing like him, Aiden. Do you understand me?”

I didn’t say anything. I just continued to keep my distance from him.

I hurt him…I fucking hurt him…
I broke my promise…

‘I told you! I fucking told you that you would break your promise, and that’s only the beginning.’

I walked to the bathroom, locking myself inside it.

I grabbed my medication from off of the counter and took out three pills this time, quickly popping them into my mouth and swallowing them.

Please work! Please, just fucking work!

I sat against the door and ran a hand through my hair.

I smiled a little as the room finally became quiet.

It quickly disappeared as I remembered what I did earlier.

I’m sick…
I’m demented…
I’m a waste of a human being…
I’m a disgusting fuck…