Aiden

“Where the fuck were you?!”

I had him by his neck, pressed up against the wall.

Why am I doing this? Why am I hurting him?
Why am I such a fucked up monster?!

“You better answer me, Lucien!”

He stared up at me, tears pouring from those green eyes.

I’ve always loved those eyes. Why do I despise them now?

My grip around his throat tightened.

“A-Aiden…I went f-for a walk…t-that’s all…please…let me go…”

I didn’t listen.
Why didn’t I listen?

“LIAR! YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR!!!”

I released my grip on his neck and struck him across the face, knocking him to the floor.

He didn’t move. He didn’t try to run away.

He just lay there, whimpering.

“Get the fuck up!”

I nudged him with my foot.
He still didn’t move.

I looked at him closely and froze.

He was bleeding from his nose and mouth.

His fear…

I gained control of my body again and knelt down next to him, carefully sitting him up.
His eyes widened when he saw the blood on my hands and on the floor.

I got up and grabbed a couple of napkins from the kitchen table, then I rushed back over to him, wiping the blood off his face and pinching his nose to stop the bleeding.

I started crying again.

“I’m sorry…I’m so so so sorry, Lucien…I’m so fucking sorry…!”

He didn’t say anything.

I fucked up…I fucked up big time!

I managed to stop his nose from bleeding and pulled the stained cloth away.

He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head against my chest.

I didn’t touch him…I couldn’t touch him.

How could I hold him with hands that have been stained with blood?
Not just his own…but others’ blood as well.

I pulled away from him and got up from the floor.

“I…We need some time away from each other…I’ll sleep on the couch tonight…”

My chest started to ache as he looked up at me with those sad, green eyes.

“It’s for the best, Lucien…it’s for the best…”

* * *

I took four pills this time before I went to bed.
The voices were quiet, but I couldn’t go to sleep…

I looked at the grandfather clock.

1:14 A.M.

I need to sleep…

I shut my eyes, but my body found different things to keep me awake.

The ticking of the grandfather clock…the coldness of the couch…
The ache in my chest…

Of course, I wanted to be close to Lucien right now. I needed to be close to him.

But I fucking hit him! I made him bleed!

I can’t risk the chance of hurting him again…

My eyes flew open when a hand touched my arm.
Lucien was standing in front of the couch.

“Lucien…? What are you—” “I…I couldn’t sleep…”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

“Lucien…you and I both know that it’s best for you to keep away from me…just for a little while…”
He shook his head.

Who the hell am I kidding?
I need him…I need him so much…

We ended up holding each other on the couch, a decent sized blanket wrapped around us.

I felt at ease as Lucien ran his fingers through my hair like he usually does.

“Lucien…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…I hurt you again…”
A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

“Why…? Why do you still stay with me…? You could just leave…You could be with someone better than me…!”

He only shook his head and pressed his lips against mine.

“I stay with you…because I love you, Aiden. I love you so much it hurts…I know you didn’t do all of those things…I know you tried to stop it or prevent it…”

He kissed me again, but this one caused my heart to race.
A kiss that had so much love and passion behind it…

One kiss followed after another…hands softly, but wantonly caressing skin…breaths and moans filling the atmosphere…

And that night, Lucien and I made love for the first time, falling asleep afterwards to the sound of the grandfather clock.

Tick-tock…Tick-tock…

Tick-tock.