Aiden

“Aiden…what’s wrong…? Why have you been so distant lately…?”

Lucien sat next to me on the couch, chewing on the sleeve of his jacket.

I couldn’t look at him…I couldn’t be next to him…
Not like this…

‘Do it! He’s right there!’

‘Just reach for his neck. Squeeze hard until he stops breathing.’

‘Why not make it interesting and cut him open? You could rip out his heart and let it beat in your hands.’

I felt my stomach twist and turn. My head throbbed. My heart pounded in my chest.

‘Come on, Aiden. You know you want to.’

No…

“Aiden…?”

‘Just imagine the feel of his blood on your hands.’

No…!

‘You won’t be able to hold back for long. You’ll do it eventually. Just accept the fact that you’re a sick, disgusting, psycho.’

“Aiden?”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and panic started to rise.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

Slap!

I froze.

My hand was burning slightly…and Lucien’s cheek was red.

He stared at me in shock and fear, tears welling up in his eyes.

I hit him…I fucking hit him again…!

“L-Lucien! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

He didn’t look at me. He got up from the couch and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

I fucked up again…! Just when I thought I was getting better…I fucked up again!

I let a couple of tears fall as I ran a hand through my hair.

‘See? You’re going to hurt him, whether you want to or not.’

‘He’s going to leave you eventually. He’s losing his patience.’

‘You should have known better, Aiden. He could never love someone like you.’

‘What if you gave him a “reason” to stay with you?’

“No! Stop! I have fucking had enough!!!”

I got up and rushed to the bathroom, taking my medication from the cabinet.
I dumped the pills into my hand, not caring how much there were, and popped them into my mouth.

I just want it to stop!

I could still hear the voices.

I poured more pills into my hand and popped them into my mouth along with the others, swallowing quickly.

I just wanted my life to be normal!
I never wanted to be a psychopathic, disgusting, demented murderer!

I never wanted to kill my brother or my girlfriend. I never wanted to kill anyone!

I never ever wanted to hurt Lucien.

My hands started to shake and my vision was becoming blurry.

Second after second…it was getting harder to breathe…

My legs gave out and I collapsed onto the floor.

My vision was gone for about two minutes and I heard a voice calling my name.

“Aiden! Aiden! Say something if you can hear me!!!”

I could still hear the voice…

“I…I didn’t take enough pills…”

“Aiden! Open your eyes! Please!!! I don’t want to lose you! Not like this!!!”

I slowly did so and saw Lucien’s face, tears falling.

He was holding me with one arm, a cellphone in his other hand.

I could only think one thing just looking at him.

I hurt him…I hurt him…I hurt him…

Everything started to fade to black, and the last thing I heard was Lucien screaming my name.