Aiden

“Don’t go…! Please…! Don’t go…!”

I’m so pathetic…

I was clinging onto Lucien’s leg, trying to stop him from reaching the door.

I don’t want him to leave.
I don’t want him to leave me alone…

“It’s okay, Aiden…I’m just getting us some Chinese food, okay…?”
I shook my head and clung tighter.

“You need to eat, Aiden. I’ll bring you your favorite dish.”

I looked up to see him giving me a small smile.

“…You’ll come back, right? You promise to come back, right?”
He knelt down in front of me and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Of course I’ll come back. I promise.”
He got up and gave me one last glance before he walked out the door.

I can trust him, right? Of course I can trust him.

He promised…He promised.

‘What makes you think you can just trust him because he promised? A lot of people make promises. A lot of people break promises without a second thought.’

‘You’re so pathetic…’

‘Why did you let him leave…? How can you be so sure that he’ll come back?’

I have to ignore them….I have to ignore them…

I picked myself off of the floor and walked into the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed.

I want to sleep…I need to sleep…

I shouldn’t worry…Lucien’s coming back…

He’s coming back.

I tossed and turned over and over again, trying to get a few minutes of sleep. But if I do sleep…

The images will replay themselves over and over again…

Their screams and begs for mercy…

The blood that stained my hands…soaked the floor and my clothes…

Their dismembered bodies…

I buried my face into the pillow, hoping that I could suffocate myself somehow.

I couldn’t…

All I could do was cry. I cried and sobbed into the pillow.

I’m sorry…! I never wanted to hurt anyone! I never wanted to take anyone’s life!

‘Apologizing won’t bring them back.’

‘We already established that you’re a sick, twisted fuck. Too late to say “sorry”.’

‘Poor Lucien is in denial…he tries so hard to ignore that fact that you’re a psycho and a murder. It’s only a matter of time, Aiden…’

He wouldn’t leave me…He wouldn’t do anything to harm me…He promised…

‘Think about it, Aiden. Lucien could have been lying to you about Kyle. He could have filed the missing report himself. He could be waiting for the right time to turn you in.’

Ignore them…Ignore them…! Ignore them!

‘Face it, Aiden. Everything could have been a lie. Just like how your girlfriend lied to you when she said she “loved” you. And we all know what happened to her…’

“He wouldn’t lie to me…! Lucien wouldn’t lie to me!”

‘Are you sure that’s the truth? Or are you just trying to reassure yourself?’

I didn’t protest anymore…I laid there in silence.

Lucien wouldn’t lie to me…
…Would he…?

* * *

“I’m home!”

Lucien’s voice sounded from the front door.
I was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

I had it in my hand again.
I had it in my hand again…

“Aiden…?”
He placed the food on the table and slowly walked over to me.

I didn’t know what to think…I didn’t know what to say…

All I could hear was Lucien calling my name and asking me what was wrong, and the word “liar” playing constantly through my head.

“Aiden. Please put the knife down and tell me what’s wrong.”

My grip on the knife only grew tighter.

“Lucien…Please be honest with me…”

I moved away from the counter and closer towards him until I was standing right in front of him.
I placed my other hand on his cheek.

“When the missing report for Kyle was filed…are you sure it was his father or brother that did it?”

He nodded slowly.

“Those were the only two that would notice he was missing…”
“What about you then?”

I felt him tense up slightly.
I gently rubbed my thumb against his cheek to try to calm him down.

“I thought about some things for a while, and I couldn’t help but wonder…”

He stared at me as he bit on his bottom lip.

“I told you that I was a murderer. I told you that I killed all of those people, including your boyfriend…Why did you insist so much on staying with me…? Why did you still try to help me…?”

“B-Because…Because I love you, Aiden…that’s why…!”

“You’re lying…aren’t you…?”

“What…? I’m not—!”
“Yes you are! You’re lying to me! You always have lied to me!”

He looked hurt. I could clearly see it in his eyes.

“Aiden…! Why would you think that…?! A-After…After all that you put me through! After all that we went through together! After all of the fights and yelling! After I finally thought that I was getting through to you!”

He was crying…

I made him cry…

“How could you think that I don’t love you, Aiden?! How could you possibly think that?!”

He wasn’t sad anymore.
He was angry.

Lucien Beauvais was angry…

And of course, I made the situation worse.

I didn’t have control of my body again, and we just kept yelling at each other back and forth.

He moved away from my hand and grabbed the wrist of my other hand that was holding the knife.

“Let go of it, Aiden! Please, let go of it!”

I don’t know why…
He was scaring me…

“No! Get off!”

I struggled against his grip, but he wouldn’t let go.

I tried to push him away. I tried to shake him off…
But he just wouldn’t let go…

‘You’re gonna lose it…You’re gonna hurt him…’

No…! I can’t…!

“Lucien! Stop! Let go of me!”

I tried to push him away again, but he wouldn’t budge.

“I won’t stop until you let go of the knife! I won’t stop until…! Until you say that you’re wro—!”
I used all of my force to yank my wrist upward, cutting his sentence short.

He froze. He didn’t say anything else.
He slowly looked down with wide eyes.

I followed his gaze and my heart dropped.

The knife…!

Lucien finally let go of my wrist and I caught him before he fell to the floor.

“Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!!!”

I stabbed him…! I fucking stabbed him…!

“Lucien..?! Lucien?!”

His eyes slowly met mine.

They were getting duller and duller by the second…

“Aiden…? I’m…sorry…I’m…”
“No! Don’t say anything! I…I…”

What do I do? What do I do?!

I gently laid him on the floor and removed the knife from his stomach.
I applied pressure to stop the bleeding, but…!

I keep applying pressure…but he won’t stop bleeding!

What do I do?! What the fuck am I supposed to do?!

“Lucien…! This…! This is all my goddamn fault! I shouldn’t have had the knife! I should have never listened to the voices! I should have just trusted you…! I…I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have called you a liar!!!”

“Aiden…?”
“Lucien…Listen to me! You have to stay alive! I promise…! I promise I’ll get better! Then…! Then we can live a normal life! I…I’ll ask you to marry me…! And…”

“And…And I’ll s-say ‘yes’…”

He was smiling that warm smile of his…

“Y-Yeah…! And then…and then we can move to the countryside…! No one will bother us…! And…”

“And…?”

He placed his hand on mine, weakly squeezing it.

“And…We…We could adopt kids…Maybe twins…A boy and a girl!”
“I want to name the girl…”

He brushed his thumb against my knuckles.
I was already in tears.

“Of…Of course…And…We’ll all live happily together…But…But…! You have to stay alive, Lucien! Do you understand me?! I love you so much…! I can’t lose you!”

“I…I love…you too…Aiden…and…I’ll…I’ll stay alive…”

His eyes were starting to close.

“P-Promise…?”
“…Pro…mise…”

His grip on my hand was lost.

“…Lucien…?”

No movement.

“L-Lucien?!”

No breathing.

“Lucien!!! Don’t…!!! Don’t do this…! This isn’t funny!!! Lucien!!!”

My tears were blurring my vision, but I could still clearly see his blood on my hands.

I sat back and stared for a moment, and then a smile appeared on my face…

First, my girlfriend…then my brother…Kyle…Michael…

…and now, my boyfriend Lucien…

I got up and walked towards the kitchen table, picking up Lucien’s cellphone.

9...1…1…

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“I did it…I actually did it…! I killed him…! The voices were right…! They were right…!”

The woman on the phone didn’t say anything.
The dial tone sounded a few seconds later.

She must have tracked the address and hung up.

I placed the phone on the table and walked back to where Lucien’s corpse was.

I didn’t smile anymore.
I felt sick to my stomach…
My heart was beating to the point where it could burst at any moment…

What have I done…? What have I done…?

I really am a twisted psycho…
A deranged murder…
A disgusting disgrace to humanity…

It didn’t occur to me how fast it happened.

The door was kicked open.
Policemen and paramedics rushed inside.

The policemen pinned me to the floor and handcuffed me as I watched the paramedics place Lucien into a body bag.

I didn’t resist.
I had no remorse for myself…
I deserve this…

I deserved this all along.

‘Tried to warn you, Aiden.’

‘You both broke your promises. He didn’t stay alive after he promised to. You killed him after you promised to protect him.’

‘Such a sad, sad human being…’

‘Pathetic…’

‘Psychopathic freak…’

‘Disgusting fuck…’

I deserve this…I deserve this…