Aiden

Four years later…

The room is white…
The walls…the ceiling…the bed sheets…
The room is always white.

Why is today any different?

The voices still haunt me…
I still remember all of the people that I killed…

Why is today different?

“Aiden, you have visitors.”

Oh…that’s why…

I got up from the bed and slipped on a pair of skinny jeans and a hoodie.
I fixed my hair the best I could without a mirror and stood at the door.

The nurse gave me a couple of pills and I popped them into my mouth, swallowing them dry as I walked down the hallway.

I walked over to the usual table and sat down.

Ryan and Seth sat down in front of me.
Seth was holding a small girl in his arms.
She stared at me while hugging a teddy bear in her arms.

“Hey, Aiden. We’re sorry that we haven’t visited you in a while.”
Ryan gave me a sad smile.

“It’s okay. I understand.”
I faked a small smile so that they wouldn’t worry too much.

I didn’t want them to know how lonely I was.
I didn’t want them to know how I hated being locked in that room most of the time.
I didn’t want them to know how I thought that they wanted nothing to do me anymore.

“We’re still trying our best to get you out of here. The doctors said that you’ve been improving slowly but surely. Lucille was excited about meeting her uncle today.”

Seth was talking about the girl in her arms.

“U-Uncle…?”
Seth and Ryan both nodded at me.

He put Lucille down and she looked at him, confused.
“It’s okay, that’s your uncle. Go on.”

She slowly walked over to me and stood in front of me.
I got up from the chair and knelt down in front of her.

“Hi, Lucille…that’s a beautiful name. I’m…I’m your uncle Aiden…”
She blushed and giggled slightly.

“Uncle Aid-ey…!”
She hugged me tightly.
I gently hugged her back, allowing a small tear to escape.

She pulled away and held out her teddy bear to me.
“It’s for you!”

I gingerly took the bear in my hands and gave her a small thank you.

“Daddy! Can Uncle Aid-ey come home and eat spaghetti with us?”
Ryan gave her a sad smile.
“Not yet, sweetie. Hopefully soon.”

Somehow, I felt guilty when her smile turned into a pout.

“Uncle Aid-ey! You have to promise to come home as soon as possible! Okay?”
She held her pinky finger out to me.
I hooked my pinky with hers as more tears fell from my eyes.

“I promise…I promise.”

Her smile returned and she hugged me again before she returned back to Seth.

“Your visiting time is almost up, Aiden.”
I nodded towards the nurse and returned my attention to Ryan and Seth.

“We’re gonna visit you every month again, okay?”
“Okay…”

I sniffled a bit a wiped my tears away.
We said our last goodbyes and I watched as they walked away, each holding one of Lucille’s hands.

I could only let more of my tears fall.

That could have been Lucien and I…
We could have been married…
We could have had children…

“Aiden, you know you can’t have that in your room.”
The nurse pointed towards the bear in my arms and I tightened my grip on it.

“Let him keep it. It’s okay.”
One of the other nurses spoke up.

“Okay then…”

I was led back to my room and locked inside again.

‘What makes you think that you’ll get out of here?’

‘What makes you think that you’re ready to face the world?’

‘Have you forgotten the reason you were locked up in here?’

I sat on the bed and placed the bear on the edge, before I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my forehead on them.

I know…I know why I’m locked up in here…
And maybe…it’s better if I stay here…

‘Aiden…Don’t tell me that you’re giving up already…!’

I froze.
My whole body was tense.

It can’t be…It just can’t!

‘Aiden…I know you can hear me…’

I let out shaky sobs as tears fell.

Why am I hearing his voice…? Why am I hearing Lucien’s voice…?

I’ve gone insane…I’ve gone completely insane!

‘Aiden…listen to me. I want you to get better. You have to get better! You made a promise to your niece. The worst thing you could do is break a promise you made to a child.’

“I…I can’t…I deserve to be in here…You of all people should understand why, Lucien.”

It’s weird…
His name hasn’t fallen from my lips since…that day…

‘I believe in you, Aiden. Ryan, Seth, and Lucille all believe in you.’

“But…What…What if I mess up again…? What if I made the same mistakes again…?”

‘You won’t Aiden…I’ll be here to help you. Your family will be there to help you as well.’

It’s hard to believe…It’s hard to believe that I have…a family. I have a family waiting for me to get better…to get out of here…

I looked at the teddy bear sitting on the bed.
I grabbed it and hugged it to my chest.

“I’ll get better…I promise…I promise…”

‘Good. Now get some sleep. You have a group session tomorrow early in the morning.’

I laid my head against the pillow as the room grew quiet, except for the ticking of a nearby clock.

Tick-tock…

I’ll get better…

Tick-tock…

I’ll get out of here…

Tick-tock…

I won’t break my promises…

Tick-tock…

Everything will be okay…
Everything will be okay.

I closed my eyes and felt myself drift to sleep.

Tick-tock…Tick-tock…

Tick…tock.

End.