Aiden

Ten days…He hasn’t visited me for ten days now…

What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong?

‘Isn’t it obvious? He’s afraid of you…’

‘He thinks you’re a psycho, too…’

It’s been three weeks since I last took the pills…
The voices won’t shut up.

‘You’re a disgusting waste of a human being, and yet, you don’t remember why…’

‘He doesn’t need to know…He doesn’t need to know…’

‘Come on, Aiden…You know you would love to do it again…’

“Aiden…why won’t you talk…? Why won’t you let me hear your voice again?”
The psychiatrist was stroking my cheek with his thumb.

I finally learned that his name was Michael.

He unzipped my jacket and pulled it off, throwing it to the side of the room.

“You don’t have to hide from me. The doors are locked. No one will bother us…”

I only stood there, pressed against the wall, as he stripped my clothing from me, bit by bit.

Lips on skin…heavy breaths and moans…hands roaming to inappropriate places…

All I could think about was Lucien.

I miss those bright green eyes…the short, shaggy but soft russet brown hair…perfect smile…pink lips…his laugh…his habits…

I just miss him in general.

‘You’re a whore. Letting Michael do this to you…’

‘Filthy hands…filthy lips…’

‘You’re gonna give up your virginity to this guy? You must be really desperate…’

‘Push him away…he’s dirty…unclean…he only wants to hurt you, Aiden…’

‘He can’t help you, Aiden…’

‘He’s getting closer…it’s gonna be too late…’

I let myself drown in the voices and the sound of my and Michael’s moans.

There was a knock on the door, causing him to bite my neck hard in shock.
He pulled away and looked towards the door.

Another knock.

“Fuck…”
He turned to me and shoved my clothes to me.

“Hurry up and get dressed. And don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone. Understand?”
He had a stern look on his face.

I nodded. He smile slightly and kissed me on the forehead.
“Good boy.”

I wiped my forehead quickly in anger and started to cry.

Only Lucien! Only Lucien is allowed to kiss me there!

“What the hell are you doing?! Shut up and get dressed!”
He slapped me across the cheek before he walked over to the door.

I hid in one of the corners, slipping my shirt back on.

“I’m sorry I came so early, Honey. Are you still with a patient?”
A female voice sounded from the entrance. It was his wife…

“No, it’s okay. He was just about to leave.”
He gave me a knowing look as I tied my shoelaces.

I stood up and walked past both of them, not daring to look up at them.

I headed back home, the voices still echoing in my head.

‘Dirty slut…’

‘Unclean…’

‘Filthy whore…’

‘Disgusting fuck…’