Hold On Till May

I searched the room for him, he wasn’t there. I searched the house, he wasn’t there. Motorcycle gone, one of our suitcases gone, his clothes gone, my heart gone. I called all the guys; they didn’t know where he went. I tried to keep it together in front of the kids, but they knew. They weren’t little anymore, they know when something’s wrong. I hear them whispering, talking to each other, fighting over who has to ask me what’s wrong or where’s Daddy.
My heart lurched. Where is he? I had my phone in my hand. I’ve texted, I’ve called, I’ve tweeted, I’ve done everything, but I get nothing. I get sent to voicemail, I don’t get a single response. I dialed his number one more time, hoping for anything. I put it up to my ear, only to get his voicemail message.
“Hi. This is Ashley Purdy. I’m not available right now. I’m either on tour, or spending time with family. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Bye.” Then there’s the beep.
“H-hey Ashes. It’s me… Andy. I was just wondering where you were. I woke up and it’s like you vanished or something. Call me soon OK? I love you baby. Bye…” Then I broke as I hung up the phone. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. Where is he? I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up to see both my kids hold onto me, tears streaming from their faces too.
“Everything will be alright Dad.” Dennis said to me, trying to stop himself from shaking. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“I know love. We’ll be fine. I’m sure he’s just out of gas somewhere.” I forced a smile. I just hope he’s right.

~

“Daddy! I can’t find it!” Ashlynn whined. He’s been gone for weeks. No word from him or anyone else. I called the police, but they said they couldn’t do anything about it. He was an adult who left of his own free will. It’s two days away from Christmas and he wasn’t here. I barely got buy on the love of my kids. I hurried up the stairs to Ashlynn’s room. She was trying to wrap a present for her brother, but she was looking for scissors.
“They were in the practice room. Sorry.” I smiled handing her the sharp scissors. I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Gross!” She giggled. “You got spit on my cheek.”
“You’re fine. One day you’re gonna miss living here with your parents that love you very much. Including Daddy even though he hasn’t called.” I smiled. I lied to the kids and told them that Ash was with his Mom and Dad, but not even they know what happened to him. I feel like Dennis knows the truth though and Ashlynn is just faking it for my sake.
“I’m sure I will.” She smiled up at me. “Now get out so I can wrap presents.” She pushed me out her door and closed it behind her. I chuckled and walked towards Dennis’ room. I knocked lightly on the door. There wasn’t a response so I knocked a little harder.
“Dennis?” I opened his door, but there was no one in there. I checked all over the house, but he was gone. Maybe he went out with Raven. I went back to Ashlynn’s room.
“Dad! I told you to get out!” She fussed.
“Calm down. I’m just asking you a quick question. Where’s your brother?”
“He went to go get your present.” She went back to curling the black ribbons on the wrapped packages. I let out a defeated sigh and went down to the practice room. Fucking Purdy men; they always disappear on you.
Dennis’ POV:

The streets were dark. I wasn’t sure where exactly Dad’s text was leading me to, but I needed to go. He’s been gone for too long. Way too long. I made a turn and stopped outside the gate of the hospital. Why was dad in a hospital? I drove up and parked, going inside to be greeted by the cute girl behind the desk. Long dark hair, thick eyeliner, blood red damasks on her black scrubs. If I didn’t have Raven already I’d be all over her. I miss Rayray though. I should call her when I get home.
“Hi. Can I help you?” she smiled. I smirked at her.
“Yeah, I’m here to see my Dad.” I flipped my hair and she bit her lip. She wanted me, I could tell in the way she looked me up and down. How I do this to girls I’ll never know.
“What’s his name?” She pulled over her keyboard and got ready to type.
“Uhh… It’s Purdy. Ashley Purdy.” She looked at me quizzically, but typed it in anyway.
“Room 302. Do you uh…” she reached for my hand and stroked it with her thumb. “Need any help finding it?”
“No thank you. I’ll be fine.” I pulled my hand away. “And I have a girlfriend by the way. So you’re wasting your time.” I walked away, not even looking at her. I took the elevator, checking my phone every now and again. I got a text from Dad.
‘Where are you? Dinner is soon. <3 AB’ I shot back with a quick reply that I was with Raven. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise for him. I got to the 3rd floor and searched for room 302. When I finally found it I knocked slowly on the wooden door and opened it.
“Dad?” I called into the dark of the room. It smelled like it had just been cleaned. “Hello? Dad! Are you in here?” I walked in and closed the door, turning on the lights. There was another door, I knocked on it slowly.
“Who’s there?” Called a voice.
“It’s Dennis. I’m looking for my Dad Ashley.”
“No one by that name here, go away!”
“John stop being an asshole.” I heard another voice behind me with a chuckle. I turned to see my Dad smiling at me in white scrubs. “Hey son.” In that moment I felt nothing but blinding rage in the pit of my stomach and hurled my fist at my Dad, connecting with his jaw, sending him hurling to the ground. “What the hell?!”
“Don’t you even! Do you know what Dad’s been going through since you left?! It takes Ashlynn and me forever to get him out of bed in the mornings, he’s always crying or in the practice room writing sad love songs. And this isn’t easy on me and her either. We’re watching our Dad’ fall apart because of you. What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Our eyes went wide at the sound of me cursing. He looked up at me, then away from me.
“You’re right. I know what I did was wrong, but I needed to go get help.” He got up and dusted himself off. “Listen, the reason why I told you to come today was because I get to go home today.”
“Why are you even here?!” I was still mad.
“Because I have acute stress disorder. I was getting treatment. I knew that if I told Andy about it he would do nothing but stress and stress and freak out.”
“So you disappear and make it worse?”
“I didn’t think he’d respond like that. But at least he didn’t do anything worse. C’mon, I’m packed and ready to go, I’ll explain everything in the car on the way back.” I eyed him suspiciously, but went along with it. On the ride home he explained almost everything, what he went through with Dad before they got married. It was messed up.
When we pulled up to the house I parked and turned the car off. “So, you’re just gonna walk in with me then?” I asked him.
“Yup. I want to see the reaction on his face.” Dad laughed. “He’s my little drama queen.” I looked at him, questioning.
“Dad can I try something on you?” I asked a bit worried.
“Uh… sure?” I grabbed his hand in my left hand and placed my other hand on his heart.
“Does Dad make you happy?” I asked.
“Of course he does.” Even though he sounded a little unsure, his heart was beating fast.
“Can you see a future with him?” I saw a smirk on his face.
“Yeah. He and I are gonna grow old together.”
“Say his name?”
“What?”
“Say his name.”
“Andy.” His heart rate picked up, his palms are getting sweaty, his smile widened. He’s thinking about him, he actually loves him. I let him go and smiled, unlocking the doors and opening mine. “What was that?” He asked confused.
“Just a little test.” I climbed out and closed it.

Andy’s POV:

I saw a car pull up from the practice room. It’s lights cut off, then the doors opened. It was probably just Dennis and Raven. I went back to strumming at the guitar in my hands, writing another song.
“Dad!” I heard him call.
“Practice room!” I called back writing down the notes as they came to me. I heard boots stomping towards me and then someone open the door all the way. I kept playing what I had without turning to see who it was.
“That’s really pretty.” My eyes went wide and I turned around. “I hope the lyrics aren’t as sad as your eyes look love.” It was Ashley. I dropped the guitar and jumped on him, feeling the tears stream down my face.
“Ashes! Is it really you?” I looked at him every which way I could as he held me close.
“I think it is.” He smiled, crying. I kissed him, and I savored the moment, savored his taste. “Merry Christmas baby.”
“Merry Christmas Daddy!” I heard Ashlynn call from the balcony above us. Denis was standing with her, both of them smiling down at us. I smiled back at them and couldn’t stop crying. This was too perfect. I didn’t care where he was, or what he was doing, I’m just glad he’s home.