Hold On Till May

It’s been a few days since my birthday and New Year’s. I’d never been pampered the way Ash pampered me while the kids were gone. Being the sweetest man on the planet during the day, then fucking me senseless at night. Best weekend of my life.
“Sweet heart. We have practice today.” Ash smiled at me from the door of our practice room. I looked up at him and smiled back at him.
“OK. Here I come.” I put down the guitar and walked over to him. “Are the kids gone yet?” I asked hugging him tight as we gathered our stuff for practice today.
“Yeah. Dennis left this morning with Raven and Ashlynn left a few minutes ago.”
“Butt heads didn’t say bye to me.” I laughed, coughing a little.
“They did but you were focusing.” He looked at me a little concerned. “How long have you had that cough?”
“It’s been a couple days, but I’ll be fine. I don’t wanna be late to practice.” I started walking to the car. As I went to open the door Ash closed it.
“Bright eyes if you want to stay home you can. You don’t have to go.”
“I’m fine. I promise.” I smiled trying to hold back another cough.
“Andy…” I let the cough go and smiled back up at him.
“I’m fine. Let’s go.” I opened the car door and sat in the passenger’s seat waiting for him. It was just a little cough. It didn’t matter. I was gonna be fine, I tried to lie to myself while the blood that sat in the back of my throat told me different.

~

“OK. I’m gonna ask. Andy, are you alright?” Jinxx asked setting his guitar down and walking over to me. I was sat slumped in a chair trying to not cough anymore today.
“I’m fine. I keep telling you guys that.” I drank from the water bottle that was handed to me by who I assumed was CC. “It’s probably just a cold.” I lied for the millionth time.
“Andy, you look pale. Maybe you should go to the hospital.” Ashley begged kneeling in front of me. I looked him in the eyes. They were sad and tired and filled with love, the eyes of my husband who only wanted the best for me; the eyes of my friend who was worried about me.
“Fine. I guess I’ll go.” Everyone around me let out a sigh of relief as Ashley helped me up and to our car. It was a long and uncomfortable ride there, followed by a long and uncomfortable wait in the lobby without Ash talking to me.
“What if it’s not just a cold?” He finally spoke taking my attention away from the paperwork that was on my lap in front of me.
“Then it could be a problem with my vocal cords. Who knows. I’m gonna be fine baby. Don’t worry.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, pulling it up to my lips and kissing the back of it.
“Remember the last time we were at this hospital?” Ash smiled at me, trying to hide his worry.
“Yeah. We had 2 beautiful babies here.” I smiled over at him. “And you sat over there crying when you found out Ashlynn broke her leg when she was five.” I pointed over to the other waiting area.
“And you had to stop Dennis from peeing in a mop bucket.” He laughed. “Kid couldn’t keep his pants on to save his life.”
“Reminds me of his father.” I winked at him.
“Andy Purdy?” The nurse called from the desk. Ash and I stood up and walked over to her. “Dr. Williams will see you now.” She escorted us back to our doctor’s office. I sat up on the examination table, Ash stood beside me, this entire time holding my hand.
“Hello Andy, Ashley. Nice to see you two again. How are the kids?” He asked shutting the door behind him. Dr. Williams has been looking over all of us ever since we moved to this area. He was there for the birth of our kids, every bump, scrape, broken limb and possible pregnancy scare. He was a nice old man with a graying beard, not to many black hairs left on his head and surprisingly looks a little like Colonial Sanders, the KFC guy.
“Good. They’re both in college. Dennis is majoring in music and Ashlynn is doing dance.” Ashley smiled. He loves bragging about our kids.
“That’s good to know. So Andy, what seems to be wrong with you?”
“Umm… Chest pains, dry cough, sore throat, kinda hurts when I breathe and speak.” I coughed again.
“Have you coughed up any blood?” Ash looked over at me, at my guilty face, with wide eyes.
“Y-yes.” We sat there silent while Dr. Williams examined my body as well as my throat.
“There’s no signs of tonsillitis. Take off your shirt for me.” I heard Ash giggle and I pinched him a little before I took off my shirt and handed it to him. “There’s no bruising, but I’m gonna need to hear your breathing.” He readied his stethoscope and placed it on my back between my shoulder blades. I recoiled at the cold metal and was stiff until it started to warm up.
“OK Andy, two big breaths for me.” I did as he said while Ash sat next to me trying not to laugh. “One more time.” And again I did as he said. “Oh dear. OK. We’re going to need to take a look at your lungs. Do you still smoke?”
“Only a pack every few months.” I was starting to worry even more.
“I’ll be back in a moment.” He left the room just as quickly as he showed up. Ashley looked over at me and saw how worried I was.
“Baby what if-“ He pressed his lips to mine and smiled at me.
“No bad thoughts baby. I’m sure you’re fine.” I could still see the worry in his eyes.
“Right. You’re right.” I placed my hand on his cheek and pulled him in for another kiss. “But um, Ashes, I’m gonna need my shirt back.” I laughed.
“Hmmm. No.” He laughed trying to hold it up higher than me.
“Ash my arms are longer than yours.” I laughed reaching up and grabbing my shirt from him.
“At least let me put it on you. It’s my job to tell you when you get undressed and I’m feeling jealous.” I gave in and let him put my shirt back on me.
“Happy now?” I asked fixing my shirt a bit.
“Yes. Very.” He pulled me in a tight hug, crushing me a little.
“OK!” Dr. Williams said walking back into the room. “We’ve got a ct scanner waiting for you. Ashley you’re going to have to wait in the lobby for us.” I looked at Ash worried and he squeezed my hand tight.
“You’ll be fine.” He kissed me one more time as we followed Dr. Williams out of the room. “I’ll be waiting. Right over there.”

~
“2 hours! We spent 2 whole hours at the hospital and we still have to wait for your test results! Ugh!” Ash yelled punching the steering wheel.
“Baby calm down.” I started rubbing his arm trying to calm him down. “Look, we’ll go home, have a nice meal, maybe some wine and a movie. It’ll take our minds off it.”
“OK. But I’m cooking.” He grabbed my hand and held on to it the entire car ride home.
We went a few days not leaving the house. I had gotten to a point where I was coughing nonstop and getting weaker. My phone rang at some point and I was too weak to pick it up so Ash answered.
“Andy, Dr. Williams has your test results. We need to take you to the hospital right away.” I was mostly out of it so the last thing I remember was Ash dressing me, being in the car and then in the waiting room of the hospital, coughing.
“He needs to be admitted right away. It’s a lot worse than what I thought.” I heard Dr. Williams say.
“Well what’s wrong with him?” Ash was holding me bridal style in his arms.
“I’m afraid he’s got lung cancer.”