It's the End of the World

I was lost in my own little world as I looked at Carlie's grave.

It was still hard to come to terms that my little girl was gone. That I would never see her grow into a beautiful young woman I knew she was going to be. Despite her not being mine by blood, I still cared very deeply for her. Closing my eyes, I shut them tight, telling myself not to cry anymore.

"It's OK to cry, you know," a voice said, bringing me back.

Opening my eyes, I looked to my left and a little down to see Carl standing beside me, the sheriff hat in his hands as he looked at the grave.

"Don't know what you talking 'bout,"I said, wiping at my cheeks and under my eyes.

Carl looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

"I remember when my grandma died. She was really sick and could hardly move. Mom wouldn't let me see her because she didn't want me to see her like that. I loved my grandma very much and she loved me. To tell you the truth, my grandma was more like a mother to me then my own mom was, you know?" I nodded my head at him, knowing what he ment and also telling him to continue," well, dad took me to see her behind moms back. And when I saw her laying on the bed, very pale and very skinny, I cried. I really tried not to, cause I wanted to show that I was a man and not a baby. Dad saw me trying not to cry and told me,'Carl, it's OK to cry. Their ain't nothing wrong with showing your emotions.' So I'm telling you, it's OK to let them out. I won't judge you. Non one will judge you."

Kneeling down, I looked at this young little boy, before bringing him into my arms and hugging him. I felt his arms go around me, his sheriff's hat hitting the middle of my back a bit, and squeezed me.

"Thank you for tellin' me that," I said, wiping away the tears that escaped my eyes,"and you're right. I'll keep that in mind next time I try not to show it."

"Good," Carl said with a wide smile ,"and you know, she is in a better place."

I nodded my head, agreeing with him fully. Carl and I stayed by the grave for a few more minutes before I stood up and dusted myself off. Placing my arm over Carl's shoulders, I turned him away from the grave and towards the camp. As we walked together, I saw that Lori was glaring at my direction and trying to get Carl's attention, to which he was ignoring.

"Why ain't you listening to your mama?" I asked him as we walked towards the basket Glenn left out that was full of freshly picked and juicy peaches.

"I dunno," Carl said, shrugging his shoulders and avoiding looking at me in the eye.

"Carl," I said in a warning tone," she's your mama. Ya always gotta listen to those older then ya."

"I listen to you,"he said, getting a peach and hitting into it.

I tried not to laugh, I really did, but it just slipped out.

"Don't get cheeky with me, boy," I said, tapping the brim of his sheriff's hat,"tell me what's going' on."

"Well," Carl said after a moment of silence" I over heard mom telling dad that she's pregnant. And that the baby is not his. That is was Shane's. Dad was very mad and asked her how long they've been together. Mom said seven years. Dad said they are no longer married. That he won't be with her after what she's done. And o dunno how to look at her. I really don't. I'm confused. Of dad is no longer with her, does that mean I'm not important to her?"

Looking into Carl's eyes, I saw the sadness and confusion deep in them.

"Carl," I said, looking at him in they eyes,"she will always be you ma. Just because your dad and ma ain't together no more don't mean you ain't important to her. She will always love you. This separation is between your ma and dad. Not between you and her. Got it?" Carl looked at me before nodding his head and smiled,"good. Now go tell your ma you love her"

Turning him in the direction of his tent, I patted his bag and gently pushed him to go.

"I'm surprised he listened to you" a voice said behind me.

Jumping, I quickly turned around and placed a hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Jesus. Scared the fuck outta me, Rick" I said, taking a deep breathe.

Rick chuckled with his hands on his hips and a shake of his head. Hearing him chuckling like that sent shivers through my entired body. Something about this damn man awakens something inside me and it kinda scares me. But at the same time, I kinda liked it. Looking into his light blue eyes, I see a light I did not see before.

"He just needs someone to listen to him and not talk to him like he's a baby," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

Rick smiled a greatful smile at me and nodded his head. Reaching over, he placed his hands on my shoulders and a sort of electric joilt through me. I could see he felt it to 'cause his eyes went wide for a bit before he blinked.

"Thank you for talking to him. I really didn't know how he was taking all this. With the dead coming back and Lori and I no longer together, I was real worried about him."

Smiling at him, I patted his arm and looked at him in the eye.

"Its no problem, Rick. Really."

Rick nodded his head and looked into my eyes.

I swear to God, I can look into his eyes forever without ever getting bored. Rick stared right back at me, not saying anything, just looking. Rick opened his mouth, about to say something when Hershal's voice rang out, calling to Rick.

Shaking his head, Rick smiled at me once more before dropping his hands from my shoulders and headed back towards the house.

As he walked away, I couldn't help but follow him with my eyes till he disappeared into the home.