We Are the Lovers, We Are the Last of Our Kind

***Kellin’s P.O.V***

I woke up hoping last night was just a nightmare. All I remember is that I spent the end of it curled up on the floor next to Vic’s bed, crying and whining his name. He wouldn’t let me in bed with him. He wouldn’t even look at me in the eyes. I know I did something bad, really bad. I cheated on the guy I was in love with.

I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed. I turned my head to see Vic still sleep. I wanted to go over to him and cuddle, but he was pissed at me. He’ll probably dump me when he wakes up, I tried to mentally prepare myself for it but there was no possible way I could. I was stupid and drunk and now I was going to lose the one person I had left. I don’t think I’d find someone like him again. I’ll never get back the way our hands fit together like puzzle pieces when they are interlocked, our lips mold together perfectly when we kiss and the amazing, fuzzy feeling he gives me when he’s around. I felt tears spill over and fall onto my cheeks.

The bell rang for us to go take showers but Vic stayed asleep, he looked extremely tired. I sat there in the same position for what seemed like hours, trying to ignore my massive hangover. Soon enough Vic opened his eyes. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I was petrified. What was he going to say? He sat up, not making eye contact with me.

“Vic,” I whispered.

He didn’t answer, he just looked over at me with a blank expression. Vic has never acted like this, and it scared me to be honest.

“Please tell me that last night was a nightmare,” I said, tears rolling down my face.

He shook his head slowly and his eyes started to water. I fucked up big time.

“Vi-”

“Just. Don’t. Talk.” he said quietly but firmly.

He swiftly got up, grabbed his towels and clothes angrily and headed off to the showers. He looked at me with such disgust. I didn’t think he would ever look at me that way. It crushed me. I couldn’t even think, so I just sobbed.

“Kellin?”

My head snapped up to see Alan standing at the door.

“I wanted to check on you, you know after last night and all. I think you need a hug,” he said rushing over to me and consuming me in a comforting hug.

He stayed like this for a while and let me cry into his shoulder.

“I-I f-fucked up so bad Alan,” I mumbled.

“Shhh, Vic will forgive you. Austin is talking to him about it right now.”

“H-He’s not going to. He d-doesn’t look at me the same way. He is going to leave me, I know it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was lunchtime and I was stuck at the table eating with the counselors. I was constantly watching Vic, he was eating with Austin and Alan. They had become very nice friends to both of us. I think they were trying to comfort him, because he looked upset, I know what I did tore him up inside. Was I even his boyfriend anymore?

I saw him get up, throw his plate away and leave the cafeteria. This was my chance to talk to him alone. I hurried and shoved down my sandwich that the counselors were making me eat. After they made sure I ate it they let me go. I got up and went to go find Vic. He was alone in our room listening to his Ipod with his eyes closed. I went over to the bed and sat on the edge quietly, waiting for him to notice I was there. After a while he slowly opened his eyes, he looked over to me with a blank stare as if he had already knew I was there.

“What do you want?” he asked harshly.

“I-I want you to talk to me,” I said quietly.

I was starting to become nervous about what he might say. I couldn’t lose him. This whole thing wasn’t helping my anxiety.

“What could you possibly want to talk about?”

“V-Vic please stop doing this, ignoring me and being mean to me. Can we talk about this like a mature couple that loves each other”.

Vic rolled his eyes. Shit, he doesn't love me any more.

“Since when do you love me? Last time I checked I was the only one is this relationship that was in love.”

“L-Last night I tol-”

“Seriously? Last night when you told me that it was a fucking joke. I have been telling you that for a week and you finally say it back when you’re hammered drunk and after you cheated on me. Kellin, you know I’m in love with you and that is the only reason I’m still here,” his eyes started to water,“What made you want to even cheat? I thought you were happy with me,” he said letting the tears finally spill over.

“B-Baby, I do love you ok. I’ve been to scared to admit it to you because I was nervous and I felt v-vulnerable. And I cheated because I was d-drunk and stupid. I didn’t mean it, I wasn’t even attracted to the guy, he was just there. Vic, the only guy I w-want is you,” I said pulling the sleeves of my shirt over my hands and hugging my knees to my chest.

“I don’t believe you.”

“W-What is going to take for you to b-believe me?”

“I don’t know.”

There was a long, drawn out silence.

“A-Are you still mine?” I asked, practically shaking

“I don’t know,” he said putting his headphones in and turning away from me.

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