We Are the Lovers, We Are the Last of Our Kind

That night I think Kellin cried a million tears. At first he was in denial, but when it sunk in he started freaking out. He wouldn't even sleep for a full hour. He'd sleep for a couple minutes then wake up with a panic attack.

On the inside I was freaking out too, but I'd never let Kellin know that.

"Baby please stop crying."

He didn't say anything, he sat there shaking with a dazed look. It was breakfast time and we haven't moved for hours.

"Can I come in?" I heard from the door.

I nodded as Mitch walked in carrying two plates of breakfast.

"So I figured you told him. I thought you two would need to take it easy today so I brought you both breakfast," he said setting it on the desk.

Kellin didn't even look up. He continued to focus his eyes on the pattern of the blanket and held on to my hand for dear life.

"Kellin are you ok?" Mitch asked trying to get a response.

"I'm not t-the one you should be w-worried about," he mumbled, not looking up.

"Vic is going to be ok. He's going to have surgery to get it removed in 2 weeks. Then he'll be back to normal."

Kellin just shook his head and let more tears fall.

"I'll leave and let you two eat, but I will be back later. We need to talk about some things," Mitch said
standing and walking out.

I walked over to the desk, picked up the plates and brought them over to the bed. I carefully cut his egg and held a piece of it to his mouth. He turned his head to the side.

"You need to eat," I said, a little frustrated.

"I c-can't."

"Yes you can, come on," I said pushing the fork closer to him.

He shook his head. I took a deep breath. It felt like I was the one consoling him when I was the one with a brain tumor. His whole attitude about this situation was stressing me out.

"Fuck it," I said putting his plate back on the desk and starting to eat mine.

He continued to sniffle and pulled the blanket back over himself. I was getting upset.

"You have no idea how selfish you're being."

"W-What?"

"You're acting like this and it's stressing me out when you know I have other things to worry about."

"I'm s-sorry that I'm fucking worried about you. Do you not u-understand what's going on? You're being so passive about this."

"I understand perfectly what's going on. I'm trying to stay calm for you when I want to cry too. But I'm pretty sure you've cried enough for the both of us," I said with a little more force than I intended.
His face turned red and he let his bangs fell into his face. He looked so upset and I just wanted to hug him.

"I'm sorry t-that I worry so damn much, if you haven't noticed that's p-part of what I'm in h-here for," he said rolling his eyes.

I quickly picked up my plate and moved to the other bed. I couldn't stand him right now. He really knew how to irritate me, but I loved him.

He then laid back down, got under the covers and continued to sniffle. I quickly finished my breakfast and gathered my things to go take a shower. I was going to leave Kellin to himself until he realized what a jerk he was being.

Once in the shower I was able to actually think about everything that was going on. I wondered when they'd tell my parents. Who am I kidding? They probably wouldn't care.

I might die from this. I know they said it was a small tumor and they could remove it easily, but there's always a chance that I could die during surgery. I've never been scared of death. I have no reason to be. I've always thought of death as a reward for all of the shit life throws at you. But now I actually have a reason to be here. Someone depended on me. Kellin needed me.

I just then realized that I was crying. It wasn't really from the fact that I had a tumor in my brain. But it was more the fact that I expected Kellin to be here for me and he's not. I had always been strong for him and now he couldn't be strong for me. He is my everything, I didn't know if I would be able to get through it without him.

~~~~~~~

I spent over an hour in the shower, when I got out I made my way to the changing room. I walked in to find Kellin in there on a bench with a towel wrapped around him and his head facing down. Once he heard me enter his head snapped up.

We just looked at each other for a couple seconds.

"I-I'm sorry," he squeaked, " I t-thought about it a lot and y-you're right. You're here for m-me through everything and I need to man u-up and do the same for you."

"Bu-," I started to say

"A-And I ate my breakfast, if that helps," he said cutting me off.

"All of it?" I asked.

He nodded, looking at me through his bangs.

I tried to hide the look of adoration that was forming on my face. I couldn't be mad at him anymore, he was just plain adorable.

"Come here," I whispered, smiling and opening my arms.

He jumped into my arms like a small child and giggled. Damn, this boy was beautiful. He squirmed in my arms and placed kisses on my face.

"M-Maybe I should put on some clothes instead of w-walking around in this towel," Kellin said blushing.

"Or not," I said placing a kiss on his neck.

He giggled and turned a deep shade of red.

~~~~~~~

We stayed in our room for the majority of the day listening to my iPod and cuddling, Mitch came in after awhile to talk about the process of telling my parents, getting me meds, and getting surgery done. But when he got to the subject of me potentially not making it through the surgery Kellin couldn't handle it. I was thinking that it would be a better idea to have this conversation with Mitch alone.

"S-So you're saying there's a chance that he won't m-make it through surgery?" Kellin asked, trying to hold back tears.

"Yes, but there's only a slight chance. He'll probably make it out fine."

Kellin looked down, bit at his lips and blinked rapidly, I could tell he was trying to be strong for me.

"A-And if he d-doesn't?" Kellin asked, his voice quivering.

Mitch was at loss for words, he didn't know what to tell Kellin. He was in a tough situation. If I died then that's it. Nobody would blink an eye, life would continue to go on without me. And I'm ok with that.
Mitch paused, trying to find the words to say to Kellin

"We can continue this talk tomorrow, you guys both need some sleep. Goodnight," he said standing and leaving the room.

Kellin and I slowly got under the covers, I immediately pulled him close to me for comfort.

"Y-You know I can't lose y-you."

"I'm going to be fine Kells," I said, not so sure of myself.

"You don't know that. If you die I'm g-going with you."

"Don't talk like that. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. I'm going to get the surgery, I'm going to come out fine, and we're going to get through my recovery together," I said taking his hand,"Kells, we can do this."

He nodded slowly.

"You're r-right. We're going to get through this together."

I placed a passionate, loving kiss on his lips.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips.

"I love you too," I replied.